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Since I am just getting started with filling in my closet, what is your opinion of not dressing age-appropriately in public?
I have good looking legs and warm weather is just about here, so I bought two denim miniskirts. When or where I can ever wear them outside I have no idea, but wow they feel so good on me. I need appropriate shirts or blouses to go with them, in good time.
How do you deal with this?
By your cameo picture and your leg description I would say dressing young is no problem. Only a few seniors like Trish White can pull it off. She takes good care of herself and it shows. I am 75, with the best makeover maybe pass for 65. More important to dress as a normal woman would in the surroundings. Blend in at first then branch out to suit your self. When out, study what women, women wear. You’ll be fine hugs
I have watched the fashion of a few older women, in fact elderly, and some of them can pull off younger fashion, but they do stand out.
Ladies like Trish stand out, because they are beautiful, not because they look over 40 years younger. Can’t wait to see your picture, ladies can ask ladies their age so how young are you?
Since you are just starting out and likely still developing Harriette’s ‘look’, how do you want to be perceived? ‘In public’ can mean several things. A mini skirt doesn’t work well grocery shopping, but fine going clubbing.
Some girls want to make a bold fashion statement, most do not want undue attention.
“how do you want to be perceived?”
Good question. To be honest, I don’t have a good answer for that yet. Work in progress?
As Angela alluded to, many new girls try to emulate a teenage girlhood they never had. Having lived through the mini skirt boom and puberty at the same time, mini’s are impractical and feel overly exposed, but we wore them because of ‘fashion trends’. (My Mom would give me such a ‘I told you so’ eye roll if she read this.)
As many responders have said in so many words, the sexy outfit can be thrilling to wear, but wear where? If you want acceptance from your dear wife, a 60ish husband shouldn’t dress as a 20 something clubber gal.
The mini skirt itself isn’t an age restrictor, it’s the venue where it’s worn. A wardrobe of sensible fashions doesn’t have to be boring. Most of our CD friends want to be seen as women in public, not accepted as CD’s.
Showing off great legs does not mean that a short hem line is necessary. A slit skirt shows a hint without the exposure.
Hi Harriette,
I have transitioned and people think I am 15 years younger than my true age. I’ve noticed that there’s not really the traditional “senior citizen” or matronly look on the older women I see when I’m out. The kids wear whatever they want and that is fine for them, not for us. I don’t see a lot of women wearing mini skirts or bodycon dresses, don’t think you’d do that unless you’re out clubbing.
I wear nice slacks and yoga pants with classy tops, blouses or sweaters. the hem length on my dresses and skirts is a couple inches above my knees, certainly not mini. my shoes are flats, sneakers, ankle boots and two inch open toe pumps. I carry a cross body purse and for work a shoulder tote bag.
From what I’ve seen personally, the age spread that my fashions would easily cover, goes from people in their late 20’s right up to their 70’s.
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Hi Harriette,
Fortunately, I would think, styles and what you’re ‘allowed’ to wear at various ages is changing, for the better it would seem. I remember my great-grandmother back in the 50’s. To me, a young child at the time, she was old and frail in her 80’s and wearing black dresses with little flowers on them. I vaguely remember sort of thinking if I touched her, she might break.
My mother, her granddaughter, lived 10 years beyond that, and at her grandmother’s age was dressing in classic slacks and tops. Life as it is, I’m now approaching the age that I remember both of them at, and when dressing, while I won’t be wearing 20 something clothing, I surely won’t be wearing what I remember as my great-grandmother’s attire.
All I can suggest is that you dress to feel comfortable with yourself. You do that, act that, be that, and I would think others will see your confidence in yourself and accept you for you. If they don’t, it’s their problem, not yours.
Hugs, ChloëC
Ten years ago, I dressed “modern classy” and looked ten years younger than I was. Now I’m 70++++ and everything from the eyelids down has “drooped”. So I have to “dress my age”
I still try to dress classy, skirts below the knee, comfy “button right up” shirts/blouses and either flats or low block heels. (My creaky old back and knees wont allow anything higher..)
IMHO, trousers/jeans etc are for “blokes”, so I dont wear them.
(“Great Aunt” Caty)
Hi Harriette,
When I look in a mirror at home, I don’t see age, so anything goes. I’m just playing. No need to ‘fit in’
When I’ve thought what to wear when I attended a gentle type cd support group as a newbie, I’m suddenly conscious of my age, and skirts lengthened.
If I had a nucleus of tight cd friends I’d probably feel comfortable and therefore more adventurous in their presence.
So for me as cd it would all depend. Where I am , what I’m doing, and who I’m with.
But yet if it’s me, gendered as a man but androgynous, out and about I generally don’t give two hoots ( and do get ‘looks’ as a consequence ).
There you go, clear as mud.
eM xxx
It’s down to personal style and comfort. Dressing in younger age clothing is something noticeable in the older age group of crossdressers when they start to dress. Is it because of the years of not be able to dress that it is making up for those lost years?
We are lucky to live in an age where fashion doesn’t stop at 40 , I have been wearing dresses that I have seen worn by ladies over twenty years younger than me. If what you wear get positive comments then you have it right.
When I’m femme, I always wear pantyhose and heels with short dresses,skirts or shorts. Are my dresses, skirts or shorts to short for my age? Probably. Are my heels to high? Probably, again. Do I get incredible thrills dressing like that? ABSOLUTELY!
When I go out dressed like that, its so incredibly exciting and thrilling. And it makes me feel young, energetic and vibrant. Regardless of my age, I love looking my femme best.
Harriette – when you say dressing “age appropriately” are you referring to your age or the age you perceive your alter ego to be? For me, crossdressng has a wonderful “youthening” quality. I’m 71, but in my imagination my alter ego is more than 20 years younger than that . If I push that age boundary, I can wear just about anything I like. I don’t have terrific looking legs, so I would avoid minis at any age. However, skinny jeans are OK, and as I see it if you are out and about you are much more likely to see women dressed like this than in minis anyway. I don’t think your age, be it real or perceived, should deter you from the fashions you like or you think make you look your best.
I dress my mental age (16), not my chronological age (75). Instead of age appropriate, I dress activity appropriate. Elegant for theater, casual for yard work, slutty for bedroom play. My go-to for outdoor summer activities is shorts (3″ inseam), T or tank, strappy sandals. At the office I love flowery sundresses.
The fashion police decided they no longer want to do any real work, like many others, after covid….lol.
Age appropriate or visual appropriate.
Age wise, I see young girls wearing makeup way too early in life, teens wearing baggy bell bottom jeans their grandmother wore when she was in her 20s during the 70s, working women who protest heels/hosiery/even bras, all ages letting cracks show through tight leggings/pants, tank tops and bras used for holding cell phones and breasts, all ages wearing pink/purple/green/blue hair colors.
I say go for visual appropriate if you care not to offend anyone, otherwise just be yourself. Its hard enough being a crosdresser and having to hide most of the time.
I’m almost 50 and when I dress it’s conservatively, but that’s my style I like. And I do love wearing dresses like swing skirts and so on so forth. But I do like shorts as well. I’m talking about the short petites that a lot of younger women wear. I pair them with a key hole sleeveless spaghetti strap top and I feel good and I’m happy. Like some ladies have said “wear whatever makes you happy”.
Personally, I subscribe to “Don’t embarrass yourself or your company, or those you love….”
My go to is skinny jeans or leggings, band tee or casual top, and sneakers. Comfort and ease win most days….like most women.
I’ll gladly switch things up when the occasion calls for it. A week ago I attended a goth music event. Black everything. Edgy asymmetric mini, fishnets, mesh top, clearly visible bra, and platform Doc Martin’s. I was one of many similarly dressed older gals.
I happily don’t look, feel, or act my age. IMO, wearing “age appropriate” clothes is as restricting as the transphobic argument that males shouldn’t wear womens clothes.
Let the occasion dictate what you wear.
BTW goth events are an absolute blast! You’ll never see more edgy fashion statements in one place and the vibe is electric.
/EA
Women, obviously, come in all ages, shapes and sizes. I try to emulate the styles chosen by those women within my fairly broad age range, particularly those with physical attributes that are somewhat comparable to my own.
I dress as someone 20 years younger than my real age. Being tall and thin allows me to wear styles of a woman of 50. Besides having such a wide variety of styles to choose from, a bunch of those styles are very sexy, stylish but sexy. My height, weight enable me to also buy a few things in an XL size from the Juniors Department. Those dresses and skirts are a bit shorter than my others. But not everybody is the same. People need to take an honest look at themselves and then decide on their best “style”.
How do I deal with this….
I wear what I think looks good on me and makes me feel good.
I am 51, I wear miniskirts, maxi skirts with a slit to mid-thigh, I wear what I think I look good in.
If the rest of the world doesn’t like it, they shouldn’t wear it…
Get yourself a few racerback tank tops for the denim skirt girl, you’ll like the look.
Have fun out there,
xoxo
Rayna
I have several minis. I love to wear them. I’m 65. So you tell me, is this age appropriate? I say yes because I like to wear them and I think I look good wearing them.
There’s no picture on your birth certificate!.. so it’s just a number that they had to come up with to start with.. if you can rock it, continue to march and enjoy!!
This might be the free willing girl inside me, but I say wear what makes you feel good. Of course in my mind I am only 27 🙂
In my male persona I am 58 (although, thanks to the luck of the genetic draw and a healthy, active lifestyle, people always think I’m just beginnning to touch 50).
However, when presenting as a woman – no matter how “age appropriately” I attempt to dress, I always seem to end up looking like a woman in her early forties.Either I am “younger” as my female self, or perhaps there just is no female image older than say, fifty.
Perhaps again, embracing my inner woman makes me feel – and therefore look – younger.Love,
KatherineDon’t shoot the thinker but maybe it’s not so much as age appropriate as it should be body type appropriate?
I think not wearing body type appropriate clothing gets more of us clocked or non-passable as anything. Wearing clothing that does not properly fit gets everyone’s attention first. Then people start to stare and eventually realize that’s not a really female.
just a thought, keep or trash it…
I’ve said it before: I didn’t come all this way to dress like an old woman. I wear what I like, what looks good on me and don’t care too much beyond that. I don’t dress like a streetwalker, but I like short skirts, even minis. Age-appropriate, visually-appropriate, don’t stand out, blend in, don’t let people know you’re a crossdresser… it all sounds like I’m supposed to apologize to the world for getting out of the closet! Forget it. I’m not likely to pass no matter what I wear, and I’d argue that the more comfortable I am with how I present the more other people will respond to that confidence. I’ve only even gotten compliments from the GGs in my life, and that’s good enough for me. Your mileage, as they say, may vary. You do you.
I just dress for “the occasion”. Most times simple dresses, leggings, jeans and blouse or t-shirt, etc. but there is absolutely nothing wrong with dressing sexy when you feel sexy. Get it girl!
As others have already said dressing occasion appropriate is probably more important than age appropriate. When out just shopping/malling I often wear clothes with a little more color than most cis women I see. If I didn’t have foot pain I would likely wear something with a little taller heals,more than the half inch or 1 inch that I usually wear. I know with the color I wear I stick out a little, but the color makes me happy and I smile. Being out there and being happy comes across good.
. Cassie
Hello Harriette; IMO, there is nothing wrong with not dressing age-appropiately in public. Of course, as others have said, you want to take into consideration the activity that you are doing and the location/venue where you are going to determine what you want to wear in public. The keys are as long as you are confident and comfortable in what you are wearing and that you know how to wear non age-appropiate styles.
The last few years I have also bought denim mini skirts for the same reason as you; the warmer weather and the hot/humid temperatures. I have 7 denim mini skirts from the Junior section of my local stores with hem lengths of 16.75″, 16″, and 15.75″. Always remember when wearing mini skirts, never bend over at the waist; “squat” and bend at the knees. Also when sitting turn your waist/hips a bit to the side and/or keep your legs together.
Lastly, the age-appropiate in public “rule” does not apply to the privacy of your residence; wear whatever you want to wear.
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