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    • #235068
      Jackie
      Ambassador

      Curious; Do you want to stand out in the crowd or blend into the crowd.

    • #235073
      Anonymous

      Hmm, good one Jackie, I’m going with a little bit of both. I like to look nice, so maybe someone will pass me a compliment but I don’t want to be the centre of attention especially in a bad way, like some of the girls you see on the sleeve sites. [come on, we’ve all seen them] I was at a Christmas party years back and was wearing these really beautiful red suede boots with a white leather skirt and I had one women over the course of the evening trying to by them right off my feet. I let her try them on and she looked me very disappointed and said, no, they look way better on you. Probably on of the best feelings I’ve ever had. Still go to that same party every  year and she still always comes over to me and kids lets see what you’re wearing this year that I can’t wear. She’s an extremely beautiful woman but she’s short and doesn’t have the legs for boots. I feel like saying to here, I’ll give you my legs and all my boots and I get your hair and your boobs, she’s hot.

    • #235079

      Blend in

    • #235194
      Anonymous

      Guy or girl, I prefer to blend in. The difference is that in girl mode, I want to look nice doing it, while my guy side doesn’t pay much attention.

    • #235264

      While I will generally dress to blend in, I have definitely done things where I stand out.  It does depend on what I am doing and where I am going.

      One time I attended a party in a hotel dressed in a fuchsia, ruffly quinceanera gown with a train, and wearing a tiara.  It was an event for CD/trans and supporters.  But I did have to walk through the parking lot and hotel lobby, and before the event, hung out with some friends in the hotel bar.

      Other times my friend holds parties with themes, and I sometimes have fun with my outfits.  Some of them do stand out.  And sometimes literally.  Last month I went to a red, white and blue party wearing three petticoats, one each red, white and blue!

       

    • #235286
      Anonymous

      blend in

    • #235295
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador

      Blending in I would think is paramount at least for me anyways . There’s enough to worry about by just being out there and putting undue attention on oneself certainly doesn’t  help things . I try flying under the radar when possible so I can truly enjoy the experience with little or no issues.

      Stephanie..

    • #235299
      Ashley
      Lady

      In guy mode I generally try to blend in as much as possible. And as a guy that’s usually pretty easy.

      But as a girl who is 6′ 1″ barefoot, I feel like I would have no choice but to stand out. I’ve met very few GGs close to my height.

      • #250613
        SteffieC
        Duchess

        At 6’ and 250, I am never going to be a beauty so blending in is my goal. I just want to be Steffie and let everyone else be who they need to be.

    • #235544
      Anonymous

      It depends… hehe.

      Oddly enough, given my 6’4″ height, I mostly feel like I blend in. I dress conservatively, albeit with a tendency towards 3″ heels whenever I can – except when going out, when I love to glam up to the 9s.

      Luckily, I haven’t turned it up to 11…

      Love Laura

    • #246901
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      When I dress and go out I like to get noticed. It’s flattering, exciting and a thrill and rush I can’t get from anything else. On the downside thought, sometimes I get noticed and get attention from those I would rather not get attention from.

      That’s when I wish I wasn’t dressed or dressed more blend in. Still the temptation most of the time is to stand out.

    • #246902
      Anonymous
      Lady

      To blend into the crowd.

       

      Rachel

    • #246941

      I’m a blender inner!

      Think I relax more if I’m not attracting attention, and if I’m relaxed, I can just be me and enjoy being out as I want to be. It is nice if interacting with others to get positive and accepting attention, but don’t go out of my way to attract it.

      love

       

      B

    • #246946

      I would like to say that Ibtry to blend in.  And with respect that I wear the clothes the fit the occasion and a woman of my age, I do just that.  However, as I usually make no effort to present as a woman, I am sure that I do stand out.

      MacKenzie Alexandra

      • #247537
        Jackie
        Ambassador

        Personally I truly feel it qualifies you and elects you to fit perfect in the unique position. Who really cares what someone else thinks or says behind your back. It’s your life and prerogative to live it the way you choose or was meant to, Unless you are trying to direct how someone else lives!

        • This reply was modified 4 years ago by Jackie.
        • #247736

          Jackie, I’m not following your response.  Could you explain?

          MacKenzie Alexandra

    • #247630
      Anonymous

      <p>I tend to try very hard to blend in when out en femme. That is the whole idea for me.</p>

    • #248066
      Meghan M
      Lady

      I would opt for “Blend in” but at my height (6’3″ barefoot) I don’t have much of an option but to stand out.

      I might have to go with the glittery makeup and dresses sometime for laughs, since standing out will likely be my lot in life.

    • #248137

      I definitely dress to look nice whether it’s jeans and a simple top or skirt, blouse & heels but I never over do my clothing and make up so I stand out in the crowd. Actually, I have learned that I blend in and look more like a woman when I keep My make up light, wear flats with jeans or shorts. In fact lately, seldom does anyone pay any attention to me when I’m out and about en femme but I believe that I now give off an aura of confidence that I didn’t have 8 months ago. And when your site of yourself, other people sence  that and you become right with the world. (Hope I said that right)

    • #248243
      Janice
      Duchess

      Like many have said, it depends on the occasion. I usually opt for blending in when I am out doing every day things like shopping. Naturally when I am at a party or gala I want to stand out and outdo the other women there!
      I am noticing that when we are out and about nobody mentions the reactions from children. I always think to myself about the questions the parents must have to answer at home. I manage a chuckle and smile.
      Great topic.

    • #249068
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      When I dress as Patty, I always wear pantyhose, heels and a short dress. That does get me attention. If I’m going to be out for a while and I’m not quite sure what kind of people I might be around or encounter, I’ll tone it down, to maybe 2 in heels, opaque pantyhose and a dress that’s maybe just a bit above the knee.

      That seems to be more blend in and often seems to generate less, eh, enthusiasm.

    • #250065

      When I dress for daily errands and such, the main category of clothing is comfortable, doesn’t matter if I stand out or not.

      Now, when I plan to go out to dinner or clubbing or a movie, etc., I like to at least look nice.  I’m not too flamboyant unless I get in one of those moods.  One of my good friends likes  that I am not too ‘sparkly’ so she gets most of the attention at the club, lol.  I just like to look nice, and comfortable at the same time.

      PaulaF

    • #250479

      Both – I want my outfits to stand out, but not necessarily obviously stand out as a crossdresser.

      (I want people to like the outfit *before* they clock me as a CD 😀 )

    • #250541
      Amy Myers
      Baroness

      Well my answer is similar to others. Mostly I want to blend in, esp when I go out in public, but I do like to look nice, so I dress well for the occasion, be it dinner, or just the mall.

      The exception was a few weeks ago when I met up with a few other CD’s for a Halloween dinner, then I dressed in a short black leather skirt, patterned pantyhose, red sequin top, tall black high heel boots. Got quite a few looks, I must say!

      Amy

    • #252038

      I always tried to blend in  with a little flair in the past when I was skinny.

      These days being a plus + size  I get noticed more. Not sure if its because I am big or if some guys just like big women and enjoy what they are looking at.

      Hardly any mean comments and plenty of really nice comments from both men and women.

    • #252163
      Rochelle Mills
      Baroness

      Not so much of an either/or distinction for me either.  I like to add a little more bling or chic-ness to my outfits without standing out too much.  Sometimes, I’ll go out in jeggings in the afternoon, say when shopping, and bring along a skirt or dress I can change into later.

      The feminizing routine to be out in public takes some effort.  So I don’t like the idea of staying too long in the understated/bland side of the spectrum.  While it is comforting to blend in as best I can, staying in understated mode just doesn’t offer as much fun or reward to balance out the effort of getting ready for me. Usually, when we (wife and I) are out with friends, it is easy to  switch into something more fun and feminine for dinner or a drink later…

      • #253526
        Anonymous

        Hiya, I agree totally with you, it is not much fun wearing jeans and a top when out dressed as it feels so lovely to wear a dress or skirt. Having people look at you though is unnerving to say the least. Do they suspect you are a man or do they see a lady wearing a pretty dress ?. Trails and tribulations of being a gurl. X

    • #253552
      Jessica
      Lady

      I started out life blending in so I didn’t get beat, but then when I was in my mid twenties I wanted to stand out in everything I did. Now that I am fifty I find that I want to blend in; however, when I go out dressed I’m easily clocked. I am currently working on being more comfortable with this.

    • #247895
      Anonymous

      I’ll raise you a “Hell yeah!” On the sparky dress and glittery makeup too!

      Love Laura

    • #250101

      Personally, In my everyday life I wear jeans or leggings and a top, and I often wear tennis shoes or sketchers as I am unable to wear any heels right now due to a broken foot. I own a very nice and extensive wardrobe with 53 pair of 4″, 5″, 6″ heels, sexy boots and platforms. I totally have a shoe fetish, I even own another 6 pair of high heeled sandles for the summer. But I dress to be comfortable and blend in to my environment. When I first started dressing again a year ago, I would go grocery shopping wearing a very short dressy dress or skirt, thigh high stocking and heels, and people constantly stared at me making me feel very uncomfortable with myself. One day as I was entering the front doors of a store in a crowd of people, my heel got caught in a groove on the floor and I fell to the ground, dress up around my hips, and my male package popped out for all to see. One young couple broke out laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes and I was so embarrassed, I had tears in my eyes, but I got myself up, went into the store and did my shopping. I never wore a dressy dress grocery shopping again. Sometimes in the summer I wear sundresses around the house or out shopping as they are very comfortable and cooler than jeans.

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