- Stop and mention cute outfit
- Stop and engage in conversation
- Stop and just confirm your thoughts
- Do not stop at all
- July 1, 2020 at 4:33 am #359624Stephanie KennedyParticipantRegistered On: March 15, 2019Topics: 9Replies: 431Has thanked: 1926 timesBeen thanked: 1333 times
I was out shopping over the weekend I was dressed very casually in a cute pair of wide leg linen pant with button down short sleeve top cute thong sandals. Just feeling cute. I noticed a younger fem image comming towards me while pushing my cart.She was dressed in a cute pair of white shorts not too short really pretty blue and white top cute wedge sandals . She just looked put together I loved the look as she got closer I noticed her small hips and her make up was a little much for the warmer weather and outfit. We just looked at each other with what seemed to be a very long couple of seconds. We immediatly knew each other we both offered a cute smile and walked be each other. I wanted to stop and say something but i didn’t. I do not want to discuss how we all know each other when we see another CD or trans.We just do. My question is what would you do if you identified another trans or Cd while out shopping. I
- This topic was modified 5 days ago by MacKenzie Alexandra.
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- July 5, 2020 at 3:59 pm #361019PY MarshallParticipantRegistered On: July 21, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 145Has thanked: 512 timesBeen thanked: 227 times
Hi ladies, over a span of 50 years as a plumber and heating engineer i have probably accessed 4 or 5 thousand homes and in this time ,to my knowledge i have only met 2 CD’s .Before i continue both my wife and her mum and i are aware of my cross dressing. The first instance was in the west of Scotland there were 3 of us working in the house when one of my mates came through and said that is the guy of the house home, he is just going to get changed and then he is going to make us a coffee before we head home !we had about an hours journey in front of us .He then came back and said ,coffee ready but what ever you do don’t stare,well what did i do,exactly,I stared he had denim skirt ,white top and make up . He opened the cupboard and laid two glasses on the table ,checked his watch poured the wine and in walked this lady who i found out later to be his wife. Kisses and cuddles and they sat down with their wine for a catch up.They thanked us for our work and we left with a gift of a tenner each for a beer.The second c d, i was informed about prior to the house visit,for some reason i made a mild issue of the fact ,weather it was to cover my guilt and concealment i just don’t know. However i decided if i found him in c d mode on arrival at his home i would try to calm the complexity’s of the situation . He was a captain on a large container ship,very well to do both him and his wife were so nice and kind to work for and i have had the pleasure of doing so ,probably seven or eight times to date .Sadly he passed very suddenly at Christmas . I am still his wife’s plumber but could never tell. Py xx.
- This reply was modified 1 day ago by PY Marshall.
- July 5, 2020 at 3:48 pm #361000Araminta PurdyParticipantRegistered On: January 23, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 102Has thanked: 158 timesBeen thanked: 259 times
This has actually come up quite a few times in the past few years especially when most people were reticent to give up their ‘stealth’ patterns of self-protection. You might be surprised how much things have opened up in the past, two decades.
It is (was) reasonable to expect that, when a secretive (and, by definition, lonely) cross-dresser sees an ‘obvious’ cross-dresser, they would want to rush over and state exuberantly that they were a cross-dresser too. Without even considering that they are confessing to an absolute stranger something that they have kept a deep, dark, submerged secret for a long, long time.
There were two problems.
First, most cross-dressers or persons in transition prefer to ‘pass’. That, of course, is a discussion in itself. By announcing that you recognize them as a cross-dresser, or by announcing your own membership in the sorority, or even by simply excitedly commenting favourably on their attire you are effectively saying, “You don’t ‘pass’!”. As might be expected the response is often a touch frosty, even arctic.
Second, you are assuming that the feminine person you see is, in fact, male. What if you are wrong about that? I mean, how shame-making!
Third (I just thought of a third) you may be witnessing a person who has fully transitioned and who is, legally anyway, female.
So, the consensus was that if you recognize someone as transgender, approaching them with the manner without even a polite introduction is nether ladylike nor gentlemanly.
On the other hand:
If you are out-and-about in feminine mode and some person comes leaping over intervening barriers or persons to to announce aloud, or even in dulcet tones, that they are or love or whatever you-no-who’s, have pity on them. You too were once a naive and lonely neophyte.
After all, in these days, we represent each other and we share the burden of educating others against the falsehoods and misconceptions of the past. The road to making athenising mornal is a long one of many small steps (usually in heels) but with many feet sharing the journey (preferably in Loboutin’s) we will get there.
If you see me, feel free to introduce yourself. Quietly, hmmm?
- July 5, 2020 at 11:52 am #360906Misha MonroeParticipantRegistered On: October 29, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 19Has thanked: 26 timesBeen thanked: 63 times
At my age, if I see a woman who has clearly made an effort in her look and style, I feel the need to acknowledge it, but that’s not always appropriate. But when I’m in a women’s wear boutique or shop I definitely pass along comments to someone trying things on – whether its a CD or GG. Nothing flirty or scary. If a woman is trying to decide about something she’s just tried on, and our eyes connect, I’ll for sure offer a second opinion. “That’s perfect on you” and if it’s something that’s not working for them, I’ll say “Can’t decide?” And if they share their ambivalence, then I’ll give them a subtle unspoken “not so much”. I think Cis women in particular value girls like us for a second opinion. And sister CDs and Trans Women definitely appreciate it. At least I do. Particularly if it’s complimentary!
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- July 4, 2020 at 1:48 pm #360692Nick LacroixParticipantRegistered On: February 3, 2020Topics: 15Replies: 127Has thanked: 111 timesBeen thanked: 348 times
- July 3, 2020 at 4:30 am #360259Stephanie BassParticipantRegistered On: October 14, 2017Topics: 0Replies: 37Has thanked: 126 timesBeen thanked: 54 times
I always complement anyone dressed cute or when the makeup makes me wish I were that good at. I work at a retail store but being small town seldom do I see a CD shopping but I always try to say hello and complement them. There is one she is much younger that I see quite often we always speak to each other. One day I was buying lunch and she was in the checkout ahead of me buying hair color and ran short on funds. I could tell she really wanted this so I told the cashier just add her purchase to mine.
- July 2, 2020 at 9:11 pm #360203Jannie MurryParticipantRegistered On: October 15, 2019Topics: 0Replies: 59Has thanked: 30 timesBeen thanked: 233 times
I consider myself a outgoing person. I’ll have a conversation with anyone. It doesn’t matter to me if its a gernetic girl or a CD. As long as I feel comfortable with whoever it is I’ll engage in conversations with them It’s a great way to make friends or have a lasting relationship
- July 2, 2020 at 4:04 pm #360110Paula FParticipantRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 8Replies: 402Has thanked: 436 timesBeen thanked: 1250 times
Molly, the cards I give out are only meant for the ‘new’ girls that are out in public for their first or close to first times and are obviously a little intimidated by everything going on around them. Regardless of their age, new girls are very easy to spot, even if they have been keeping the dressing only at home for ages and finally venturing out.
- July 2, 2020 at 9:51 am #360024Paula FParticipantRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 8Replies: 402Has thanked: 436 timesBeen thanked: 1250 times
In this part of Texas, it doesn’t happen often that you run into another sister out and about. I know how intimidated I used to feel for many years after first coming out. At first, I always was with my bf. After Vincent was transferred overseas, it took a lot of false starts to find my way out on my own to go shopping. One day in JC Penney, I was walking towards the lingerie section and just knew that everyone on the 2d floor of the store was watching me. I was looking at some sexy black panties when a voice moved behind me, from one side of me to the other as they passed, “Good Morning honey!” in a mixed female but masculine voice.
I almost peed myself right then as I hadn’t noticed anyone even close to me. I kept her in the corner of my eye as I shopped a bit more and watched her go down the escalator and disappear. When I got to the 1st floor to go to the checkout, just as I hit the main floor, she appeared beside me and gave me a nice compliment on the casual outfit I had chosen, and then told me to have a good day before she moved on and away on her own business.
Going home, I thought a lot about what had happened in Penney’s, and the more I thought, the better I felt about her speaking to me, but moving on before I could utter one syllable of probably the most nervous my voice would ever have sounded. Before I got home, I had decided that I liked what she did, no pressure for a response or forced conversation with some one I had never met before, just a few words as she passed me and kept on moving.
A while after the incident and I had grown more comfy in who I was and how I presented, and I found myself doing the exact same thing to a sister that was brave enough to shop in daytime, but had the ‘deer in the headlights’ look. I did much the same as the Lady did me before and just kept moving, but listening for a reply from her. But I understood why she kept quiet and I wasn’t offended at all, and it did make me smile and hope that she came close to the understanding that I did when it happened to me.
And I did finally see and meet the girl who first did the same to me after a couple of months, and we became friends. From then on, when I would see another CD out shopping I have always given them a smile and at least a good day or morning or a hello. It has always been important to me in the sometimes predatory atmosphere of the gay clubs to let a new girl that I see know she isn’t alone and is more than welcome to join me and/or my friends for a bit until she is comfortable enough to relax and enjoy themselves, but now I am forward enough to give them a blank business card with my name and cell # on it, “just in case” written underneath for if they need to talk or something.
I did choose “Don’t stop at all” as I have broken the ice by greeting them, the next step is theirs and I don’t want to force a conversation if they are a little shy about it. I fully understand why.
- This reply was modified 4 days ago by Paula F.
- July 2, 2020 at 12:49 pm #360062MollyParticipantRegistered On: October 22, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 197Has thanked: 839 timesBeen thanked: 512 times
Wow, just beautiful! I will remember this approach and I love the card with the “Just in case”. I’d have to be doubly sure before I gave out on of those as I wouldn’t want to offend by accident. This is truly inspiring!
- July 2, 2020 at 8:35 am #360010Laura LovettParticipantRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 141Has thanked: 281 timesBeen thanked: 474 times
CD or not, if I like an outfit while out en femme, I will say so.
Cis women have no qualms whatsoever about telling me that they like my outfit, or whatever I happen to be trying on – and I think it’s very lovely of them to say so!
As a CD, it gives me a confidence boost, and no-one comments on the fact you’re a CD, unless they’ve had a drink or 2 – then they will happily talk to you about it for ages!
So go ahead, make a sister CD’s day – you don’t want to out them, so let the conversation end there if that suits the situation.
Me, I could care less about being outed – it’s pretty obvious, I think, so no harm done. My favourite riposte to any negative comment is “I’m not a real woman” – usually cracks a smile 😀
- July 2, 2020 at 7:56 am #360005Heather JamesonParticipantRegistered On: April 1, 2019Topics: 5Replies: 289Has thanked: 446 timesBeen thanked: 874 times
There are 2 other girls in my city that I have seen out and about, the one I see quite often as she doesn’t live to far from me. I’ve talked to them both and the one was very up tight about it, that’s the person I don’t see often. I don’t think she likes the attention of 2 CD’s talking, too easy to be made right. The other girl is 24/7, I’ve seen her in Walmart, the butcher shop and at the market on Saturdays. I was talking to her at the market one day and was introduced to her wife and daughter, nice girl but I do agree with Peggy Sue you have to be careful and know your boundaries at all times.
- July 1, 2020 at 9:38 pm #359915Valerie GreeneParticipantRegistered On: May 15, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 6Has thanked: 49 timesBeen thanked: 7 times
- July 1, 2020 at 8:47 pm #359910Tammy JosephParticipantRegistered On: December 4, 2018Topics: 3Replies: 19Has thanked: 32 timesBeen thanked: 55 times
I don’t believe in the adage don’t talk to strangers. So I’ll often say hello when I’m near someone in a store. I have no problem starting a conversation or whatnot. Or at least giving someone a smile.
So if they were close enough, I’d say hello. After that it’s just a matter of how someone acts. Very seldom are people rude if you are being sincerely friendly.
As for if they’re a CD or not does it matter? Why not just be friendly, share a smile and something nice to say? The world is cold enough and people are stressed and lacking enough kindness. If we all are a little nicer maybe we can make positive changes. At the least we make someone’s day or their trip to the store a little nicer.
- July 1, 2020 at 8:16 pm #359903Peggy Sue WilliamsParticipantRegistered On: June 26, 2019Topics: 9Replies: 147Has thanked: 536 timesBeen thanked: 486 times
Right off, I would be very careful who you believe is a CD. You just could be totally wrong.
Engage in conversation? Be very cautious, and actually, I would say be extra very cautious.
There are so many variables involved, that I would say lean strongly toward not engaging someone in conversation. However, all that being said, I rely very much on my gut instinct, which means I carefully and thoroughly assess the situation, then ask myself do I really want to converse with this person? Don’t know if any particular approach is safe, but hey, what girl does not like to be complemented about their clothing or appearance? All things considered carefully, then make just a very brief comment, “Your top is so cute.” Maybe, something like, “Your sandals are adorable.” Be quick to pick up on the person’s reaction. Non verbal language yields big clues as to whether this person is receptive to you.
Overall? When in doubt, or it just doesn’t feel right, then follow your gut and move on, without saying anything.
- July 1, 2020 at 7:15 pm #359884DeeAnn HopingsParticipantRegistered On: November 10, 2019Topics: 7Replies: 437Has thanked: 8 timesBeen thanked: 845 times
- July 1, 2020 at 4:36 pm #359836Lucinda HawknsParticipantRegistered On: September 1, 2015Topics: 6Replies: 1134Has thanked: 73 timesBeen thanked: 990 times
i put down do not stop and talk, it might be a good idea to just keep on going to what i was doing so i would not be approached by some one else i might know and see me dressed up talking. plus i never went out to a store dressed up.
- July 1, 2020 at 3:59 pm #359825Alison AndersonParticipantRegistered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 2Replies: 221Has thanked: 98 timesBeen thanked: 695 times
I’ve been told that you don’t say anything. You don’t know how it would make them feel, even if they were read by another crossdresser. You can’t look at someone and tell if they are a crossdresser vs. a transgender. And they may not feel comfortable enough using their voice in public.
- July 1, 2020 at 3:13 pm #359805Stephanie KennedyParticipantRegistered On: March 15, 2019Topics: 9Replies: 431Has thanked: 1926 timesBeen thanked: 1333 times
I agree with you Dana I was noticing the outfit and how cute it looked on her. Then she got closer she caught me off guard Next time do the girl thing for sure. I wished i did say something now She did look cute in that outfit. Luv Stephanie
- July 1, 2020 at 3:12 pm #359804Falecia McGuireParticipantRegistered On: January 11, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 75Has thanked: 58 timesBeen thanked: 425 times
I did not respond because my truthful answer was not among the choices; I would watch discretely until they acknowledged me! I have not been out truly en femme in years. When I did so, I never encountered anyone. I do, however, frequently go out-and-about androgynously or dress entirely in women’s clothing items, shoes, and accessories while presenting as a male. I have grown quite comfortable mostly with this presentation, although I sometimes get nervous if I think I might meet a family friend who could mention an encounter, and my unique attire, to my wife at some later time. Nevertheless, when I’m out that way, I’m often engaged by women, mostly young, who approve of my choices and I assume my courage to wear them. When that happens, I’m thrilled and am eager to talk about my outfit.
One of my recent encounters was at the KC (Missouri) vehicle registrar. I was wearing low-rise, flared jeans with a wide fashion belt. My top was a light weight sleeveless blouse with a v-neck. My shoes were open-toed suede booties with a fringe and 3-inch Spanish heels. The clerk helping me discovered that I did not have the personal property tax verification that was needed. While I was trying to locate the information, she was looking me over. When I got off my cell phone she asked, “Where did you get those boots?” I told her that I got them at Off Broadway Shoes. I added that they had sizes for men and women (which was a kind of fib). As we chatted we kind of connected and she figured out how to complete the process without any further trouble. I think some women like men with feminine interests!
- July 1, 2020 at 9:12 am #359700Stephanie YorkParticipantRegistered On: May 22, 2017Topics: 4Replies: 45Has thanked: 130 timesBeen thanked: 137 times
- July 1, 2020 at 7:57 am #359674Amy MyersParticipantRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 10Replies: 913Has thanked: 2078 timesBeen thanked: 1880 times
I find I just cannot do this poll.
That’s because there are too many variables in that situation. In some cases I would simply smile and walk on by, but in another I might very well stop and chat. Part of it would be how busy the location was at the time. I wouldn’t want to make it obvious to others nearby that we weren’t average GG’s out shopping. Then it would be the reaction of the other person, if they seemed nervous or embarrassed I wouldn’t want to upset them even more, but if they seemed to be interested I certainly would make an effort to chat.
I very nearly had a something similar happen to me, but missed it by a few seconds.
Last year I was in a store en femme where the owner knows me, and she is a chatty lady, so we were talking away, and just before I left a noticed a couple of women come in. I mentally pegged them as a same sex female couple. They went around an aisle past me, so I didn’t get a really good look at them, and were coming back to the front when I said goodbye, and took my leave. Well, the next time I was in there, she tells me that the couple was a woman, and crossdressed man. Very cool! I wish that I had been able to interact with them.
- July 1, 2020 at 7:41 am #359670DanaParticipantRegistered On: February 7, 2018Topics: 28Replies: 155Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 588 times
- July 1, 2020 at 6:37 am #359649
- July 1, 2020 at 5:54 am #359642Deborah SullivanParticipantRegistered On: February 27, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 149Has thanked: 569 timesBeen thanked: 437 times
- July 1, 2020 at 5:19 am #359630Kay AndersonParticipantRegistered On: June 1, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 133Has thanked: 309 timesBeen thanked: 475 times
I was at Costco and was near the underwear section. I have looked at the camisoles a few times with thoughts of buying but did not, so I am familiar with the section. I saw a middle aged man walk up, look around to make sure no one was watching, altho he did not spot me. He looked at the women’s stretch tank tops, picked out a package and walked away. He was thin and I thought they would look nice on him! I didn’t say anything, he appeared to be a bit nervous and I didn’t want to rattle the poor guy. I hope he enjoyed his purchase!
- July 1, 2020 at 5:09 am #359628Stevie SteinerParticipantRegistered On: June 11, 2020Topics: 11Replies: 151Has thanked: 365 timesBeen thanked: 539 times
A few years ago I probably would have just moved on ( after admiring ).
Complete 360 now. Would definitely stop and compliment/chat. It would be a very positive experience.
To borrow a phrase from X-File, ” we are not alone “. ” the truth is out there “.
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