- November 25, 2022 at 11:05 pm #696913StephParticipantRegistered On: April 9, 2022Topics: 15Replies: 3Has thanked: 26 timesBeen thanked: 244 times
Wife is and was brilliant when I told her , but now I’m only turned on when dressed , I’m attracted more to myself when dressed , not the wife .
she certainly picking up on this . . . .
any tips / advise would be appreciated.
- November 26, 2022 at 2:37 pm #697096Fiona BlackBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: November 23, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 446Has thanked: 281 timesBeen thanked: 1888 times
It will only get worse. It’s similar to those who watch a lot of porn and slowly realize they are not turned on any more by sex with the wife, only by watching or fantasizing about porn. If your marriage is important to you, I agree with those who say that therapy is necessary.
- November 26, 2022 at 12:32 pm #697067Wanda OvahearRegistered On: October 19, 2022Topics: 6Replies: 244Has thanked: 1075 timesBeen thanked: 850 times
A quack implies that Blanchard hasn’t the qualifications to claim to be a psychologist, he does. Blanchard has taken a lot of heat for books like “The Man Who Would Be Queen” and other sources that use his typologies but which he didn’t author. TERFs like his work, TIRFs don’t. He does favor public health funding for transitioning but no one seems to count that in his favor.
I was taking undergrad Ed Psych when token economies were in vogue. I didn’t care for the “rat psychology” behind it. My prof advised me to think of psych theories as clubs in my golf bag and to use the ones that were right for “playing it as it lies”.
I took that advice to heart and it applies to Blanchard as well as far as I’m concerned. I find his typologies, as such, useful.
Here’s a wild idea: do your own research and make up your own mind.
I’m not a clinician but I have a Ph.D. in Education. My emphasis was on the brain and curriculum design.
Exchanges like this are why I left Twitter.
- This reply was modified 2 months ago by Wanda Ovahear.
- November 26, 2022 at 1:51 pm #697088Lauren MugnaiaDuchessRegistered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 24Replies: 644Has thanked: 10723 timesBeen thanked: 3652 times
I think the flack is coming at you because of how many CD’s and TG’s respond to what he termed “autogynephilia”.
Many of us have always felt the way we do from a very young age, in my case knowing I was supposed to be a girl, and were never turned on as a fetish or sexually attracted to ourselves.
I’m sure it’s not meant as a personal attack, we’re all loving sisters here 🙂
Ms. Lauren M
- November 26, 2022 at 12:12 pm #697059Lauren MugnaiaDuchessRegistered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 24Replies: 644Has thanked: 10723 timesBeen thanked: 3652 times
What the others have said, take it seriously as good advice. I am transgender, and have always known that since childhood. When I announced that to my spouse and said I needed to transition, that was pretty much the end of our relationship and we are now separated. We are still friends but, as she puts it, I married a man, I can’t come home never knowing what to find, a woman or a man.
Hope you can find some counseling and make your marriage last…time to do it is probably ASAP.
- November 26, 2022 at 9:45 am #697024Sherri RemingtonDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: August 8, 2018Topics: 2Replies: 156Has thanked: 153 timesBeen thanked: 626 times
Whoa Steph, not saying that becoming more turned on about yourself in dress is bad but in a relationship you better find a balance or you may find yourself not in a relationship. Think about your feelings and if you can’t see an answer seeking help may not be a bad idea.
I wish you luck.
- November 26, 2022 at 7:12 am #696991Stephanie BassHostessRegistered On: November 30, 2019Topics: 27Replies: 4415Has thanked: 63603 timesBeen thanked: 15824 times
Hi Steph as these wonderful ladies have said your headed for a disaster in your marrige you need to sit and think about whats at stake here or like suggested seek some professional help to curb this appatite .. Good luck girlfriend ..
- November 26, 2022 at 5:49 am #696967Stephanie FlowersAmbassadorRegistered On: June 26, 2017Topics: 35Replies: 6643Has thanked: 14459 timesBeen thanked: 14156 times
What’s more important your personal satisfactions or your marriage. For me my marriage overlays everything else including my own feelings. If you can’t find a solution maybe professional help should be looked into..🌷
- November 26, 2022 at 3:58 am #696952Meghan BrandiceLadyRegistered On: April 15, 2022Topics: 14Replies: 241Has thanked: 376 timesBeen thanked: 1091 times
Watch out this is a serious warning and heads up for what is about to happen…. It’s only going to get worse! I mean that! I’ve been married 52 years and it’s always been a huge Road block and bone of separation and contention, when i constantly hear “you are more concerned and love ‘Meghan’ more than me… and want to satisfy yourself/ herself sexually and avoid me”…. “ all I’m asking for is some love , passion, and hugging and affection- but you don’t come near me”,
“If you can show that I can and will give you Carte Blance to go out and be her as much as you want”
“ I don’t ask for much… just some sharing of affection and attention,”
Above are her exact words!!! Take it to heart to head off any divorce and crisis where family is affected by our vanity narcissism !
- November 25, 2022 at 11:25 pm #696915Wanda OvahearRegistered On: October 19, 2022Topics: 6Replies: 244Has thanked: 1075 timesBeen thanked: 850 times
Ray Blanchard identified the tendency of someone who is anatomically male to be sexually aroused by the thought of being a female as a paraphilia and coined the term “autogynephilia”. In its most pure form a paraphilia is self-fulfilling, human partners are marginalized.
I’m not a clinician but what your experiencing sure sounds like that to me.
Whatever is going on it’s affecting your most important relationship.
Seeing a clinician/counselor is probably a good idea.
- November 26, 2022 at 2:57 pm #697100Araminta PurdyDuchessRegistered On: January 23, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 507Has thanked: 1090 timesBeen thanked: 1939 times
I have no quibble with Blanchard, Lawrence, et al’s basic idea of autogynephilia. The phenomenon clearly exists but is poorly comprehended. Where I feel they went wrong is that they belief that males are attracted to themselves as females (sex) instead of as women (gender). There is a difference. As has been pointed out, females who enhance their femininity (gender) can also be aroused by that enhancement and, therefore, can also be autogynephilic.
I more vehemently disagree with the concept that autogynephilic males are necessarily ‘homosexual’. Not only because ‘homosexual’ and its connotations is inaccurate and inadequate as a concept. This is evidenced by the rather massive body of self-reporting, anecdotal data now available not easily accessed 20-years ago.
I should have pointed out that enhancing one’s femininity (what I refer to as ‘athenasing’) is, basically, motivated by the desire to increase one’s beauty, hence one’s sexual attractiveness. It should not come as a surprise that when one is successful according to one’s own sensibilities (especially when male and attracted to femininity) that one’s libido should be proportionally enhanced.
- November 26, 2022 at 11:18 am #697047Emily AltHostessRegistered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 24Replies: 1285Has thanked: 1443 timesBeen thanked: 6655 times
- November 26, 2022 at 6:41 am #696979СамантаManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: January 21, 2018Topics: 900Replies: 1722Has thanked: 10074 timesBeen thanked: 6520 times
- November 26, 2022 at 9:18 am #697012Meghan BrandiceLadyRegistered On: April 15, 2022Topics: 14Replies: 241Has thanked: 376 timesBeen thanked: 1091 times
- November 26, 2022 at 11:15 am #697044
- November 27, 2022 at 12:33 pm #697314Meghan BrandiceLadyRegistered On: April 15, 2022Topics: 14Replies: 241Has thanked: 376 timesBeen thanked: 1091 times
More Definition here to this neophyte CD? Now what the hell does ‘ female as a paraphilia and the coined term “autogynephilia”. MEAN???????????
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.