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    • #697096
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 23, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 446
      Has thanked: 281 times
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      Steph,

      It will only get worse. It’s similar to those who watch a lot of porn and slowly realize they are not turned on any more by sex with the wife, only by watching or fantasizing about porn. If your marriage is important to you, I agree with those who say that therapy is necessary.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #697067
      Wanda Ovahear
      Registered On: October 19, 2022
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 244
      Has thanked: 1075 times
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      A quack implies that Blanchard hasn’t the qualifications to claim to be a psychologist, he does. Blanchard has taken a lot of heat for books like “The Man Who Would Be Queen” and other sources that use his typologies but which he didn’t author. TERFs like his work, TIRFs don’t. He does favor public health funding for transitioning but no one seems to count that in his favor.

      I was taking undergrad Ed Psych when token economies were in vogue. I didn’t care for the “rat psychology” behind it. My prof advised me to think of psych theories as clubs in my golf bag and to use the ones that were right for “playing it as it lies”.

      I took that advice to heart and it applies to Blanchard as well as far as I’m concerned. I find his typologies, as such, useful.

      Here’s a wild idea: do your own research and make up your own mind.

      I’m not a clinician but I have a Ph.D. in Education. My emphasis was on the brain and curriculum design.

      Exchanges like this are why I left Twitter.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #697088
        Lauren Mugnaia
        Duchess
        Registered On: November 1, 2021
        Topics: 24
        Replies: 644
        Has thanked: 10723 times
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        Wanda,

        I think the flack is coming at you because of how many CD’s and TG’s respond to what he termed “autogynephilia”.

        Many of us have always felt the way we do from a very young age, in my case knowing I was supposed to be a girl, and were never turned on as a fetish or sexually attracted to ourselves.

        I’m sure it’s not meant as a personal attack, we’re all loving sisters here 🙂

        Big hug,

        Ms. Lauren M

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #697059
      Lauren Mugnaia
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 1, 2021
      Topics: 24
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      What the others have said, take it seriously as good advice. I am transgender, and have always known that since childhood. When I announced that to my spouse and said I needed to transition, that was pretty much the end of our relationship and we are now separated. We are still friends but, as she puts it, I married a man, I can’t come home never knowing what to find, a woman or a man.

      Hope you can find some counseling and make your marriage last…time to do it is probably ASAP.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #697024
      Sherri Remington
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: August 8, 2018
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 156
      Has thanked: 153 times
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      Whoa Steph, not saying that becoming more turned on about yourself in dress is bad but in a relationship you better find a balance or you may find yourself not in a relationship. Think about your feelings and if you can’t see an answer seeking help may not be a bad idea.

      I wish you luck.

      Sherri

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #696991
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 4415
      Has thanked: 63603 times
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      Hi Steph as these wonderful ladies have said  your headed for a disaster in your marrige you need to sit and think about whats at stake here or like suggested seek some professional help to curb this appatite .. Good luck girlfriend ..

      Stephanie

    • #696967
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 6643
      Has thanked: 14459 times
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      What’s more important your personal satisfactions or your marriage. For me my marriage overlays everything else including my own feelings. If you can’t find a solution maybe professional help should be looked into..🌷

    • #696952
      Meghan Brandice
      Lady
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 241
      Has thanked: 376 times
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      Watch out this is a serious warning and heads up for what is about to happen…. It’s only going to get worse! I mean that! I’ve been married 52 years and it’s always been a huge Road block and bone of separation and contention, when i constantly hear  “you are more concerned and love ‘Meghan’ more than me… and want to satisfy yourself/ herself sexually and avoid me”…. “ all I’m asking for is some love , passion, and hugging and affection- but you don’t come near me”,

      “If you can show that I can and will give you Carte Blance to go out and be her as much as you want”

      “ I don’t ask for much… just some sharing of affection and attention,”

      Above are her exact words!!! Take it to heart to head off any divorce and crisis where family is affected by our vanity narcissism !

    • #696915
      Wanda Ovahear
      Registered On: October 19, 2022
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 244
      Has thanked: 1075 times
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      Ray Blanchard identified the tendency of someone who is anatomically male to be sexually aroused by the thought of being a female as a paraphilia and coined the term “autogynephilia”. In its most pure form a paraphilia is self-fulfilling, human partners are marginalized.

      I’m not a clinician but what your experiencing sure sounds like that to me.

      Whatever is going on it’s affecting your most important relationship.

      Seeing a clinician/counselor is probably a good idea.

      • #697100
        Araminta Purdy
        Duchess
        Registered On: January 23, 2020
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 507
        Has thanked: 1090 times
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        I have no quibble with Blanchard, Lawrence, et al’s basic idea of autogynephilia. The phenomenon clearly exists but is poorly comprehended. Where I feel they went wrong is that they belief that males are attracted to themselves as females (sex) instead of as women (gender). There is a difference. As has been pointed out, females who enhance their femininity (gender) can also be aroused by that enhancement and, therefore, can also be autogynephilic.

        I more vehemently disagree with the concept that autogynephilic males are necessarily ‘homosexual’. Not only because ‘homosexual’ and its connotations is inaccurate and inadequate as a concept. This is evidenced by the rather massive body of self-reporting, anecdotal data now available not easily accessed 20-years ago.

        Araminta.

        P.S.

        I should have pointed out that enhancing one’s femininity (what I refer to as ‘athenasing’) is, basically, motivated by the desire to increase one’s beauty, hence one’s sexual attractiveness. It should not come as a surprise that when one is successful according to one’s own sensibilities (especially when male and attracted to femininity) that one’s libido should be proportionally enhanced.

        A.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #697047
        Emily Alt
        Hostess
        Registered On: August 24, 2019
        Topics: 24
        Replies: 1285
        Has thanked: 1443 times
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        Ray Blanchard and his autogynephilia theory have been widely discredited.  It’s nonsense.  As Sam and others have mentioned, professional help would be appropriate here.

        5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #696979
        Саманта
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: January 21, 2018
        Topics: 900
        Replies: 1722
        Has thanked: 10074 times
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        Ray Blanchard is a quack.
        I agree that a therapist may be helpful…if it’s a good one.

        • #697012
          Meghan Brandice
          Lady
          Registered On: April 15, 2022
          Topics: 14
          Replies: 241
          Has thanked: 376 times
          Been thanked: 1091 times

          Who the hell is Ray Blanchard?🤔

          2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #697044
            Emily Alt
            Hostess
            Registered On: August 24, 2019
            Topics: 24
            Replies: 1285
            Has thanked: 1443 times
            Been thanked: 6655 times

            He’s a quack.  He and his autogynephilia theory have been widely discredited.

            3 users thanked author for this post.
          • #697314
            Meghan Brandice
            Lady
            Registered On: April 15, 2022
            Topics: 14
            Replies: 241
            Has thanked: 376 times
            Been thanked: 1091 times

            More Definition here to this neophyte CD?  Now what the hell does ‘ female as a paraphilia and the coined term “autogynephilia”. MEAN???????????

            1 user thanked author for this post.
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