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    • #564025

      There was a good question asked today in one of the forums about clothes purged by SO’s. So I was wondering how  do most of us obtain our clothes. and do many wear their ex SO’s clothes if they fit, are you a lone shopper, does someone buy you items,how  are your obtained.

    • #564036
      Barb Wire

      Hey, Amanda!

      My SO still has her nose to the grindstone for another year or two before retirement. So I buy clothes for HER! Of course I get a few accoutrements for myself while I’m at it. We get our credit card statements emailed to us both and nothing is ever said. Lucky me…

      She’s also half my size, so no we don’t share clothes.

      👗Barb :B



      • #564250

        Hi Barb,

        I think that’s really romantic that you buy her clothes, good for you.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564059

      We shop together. for many years we were close enough to the same size that we could share most things. Now my breasts, shoulders, (alas, and tummy) are larger but we still share the same panty drawer.

      I started wearing my older sister’s clothes, then Mama bought me my own. During my teen years I was introduced to boy clothes and find them better for activities where I will get dirty.


    • #564067

      I used to wear my wife’s stuff (this was before I bought my own and before I came out), eventually I stopped as I noticed I was stretching out her clothes.

      My wife rarely casts off any clothes, and her taste in style is vastly different from mine so no, I would not take any of her cast offs.

      I buy my own and have been buying my own for a long time now.

      • #564249

        Hi Wendy,

        It’s so much pleasure to have your own wardrobe.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564069

      Hi Amanda,

      When my wife died, I pinched all her sarongs, but otherwise we were the wrong size, so that wouldn’t have been an option. I used to add the odd knickers and tights and tops and then some plain tunic dresses, that sort of thing, to a big food shop at the local big store. Then to online for more choice and now I’m getting more confident at just shopping for what I want in stores and clothes shop.

      Marti xxx

      • #564248

        Hi Marti,

        It’s a great relief to be able to break out of  that confinement of what I call stealth shopping ( internet, and catalogue shopping)  and have the enjoyment and confidence to shop in person in department stores and really feel that amazing buzz and pleasure.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564098

      My wife and I are pretty much the same size (clothes and shoes). So while I would like my own wardrobe and because my wife doesn’t know about my starting dressing again (told her years ago and she wasn’t too keen on it) I wear her clothes and shoes. I do have my own panties and bras.


      Hugs, Liara

      • #564240

        Hi Liara,

        Gosh that very handy, I sure hope she doesn’t find out Liara otherwise you could be in trouble, I sure hope it doesn’t come to that. Good luck with the rest start of dressing.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564099
      Lara Muir
      Baroness - Annual

      I buy almost everything from Amazon. The hub counter pick up is very convenient, and discrete.

      Perfect for this closet girl!

      • This reply was modified 2 years ago by Lara Muir.
      • #564238

        Hi Lara,

        Absolutely nothing wrong with that policy sweetie xx

    • #564104

      Hello honey…..

      I buy all my own clothes, from anywhere that sells them….shops, boutiques, charity stores, supermarkets…..and on line too.

      it’s not a chore or a job for me….it’s a pleasure and a 24/7 operation….and believe me, nowhere is safe from my clutches…..just ask my bank account!!!

      Grace xx


      • #564237

        Hi Grace sweetie,

        Definitely a girl after my own heart, spend and enjoy that’s my excuse.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564131

      Hi Amanda, I by all my own stuff, I’m addicted to shopping, it’s my favourite part of dressing I think. Nothing like getting dressed and a hard day of storming the malls and boutiques for a deal and that thing you see that you must have. I think if I was an alien when I landed my first words to the people would be, take me to your shoe store and mall.

      Thanks, Heather with a serious retail problem.

      • #564235

        Hi Heather,

        I have a feeling we would give the GG’s a run for their money that’s for sure,

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564135

      I obtain my clothes mostly through Amazon, but have bought a few things on my own. I love picking out the clothes and shoes.

      • #564139

        Ummmm! You’ve forgotten some of the cute dresses I have given to you! LOL! (Always your butt looks better than mine in them!) 😊

        • #564231

          Hi WifeofChristine,

          With the greatest of respect, I think we would all like to emulate your femininity.

          Lol Amanda xx

        • #564325
          Lara Muir
          Baroness - Annual

          Hi Christine & Wife of Christine,

          You are an awesome Couple!

          dressing together must be a ball!

      • #564227

        Hi Christine,

        Gosh it’s so much fun looking, but there is such a lot to choose from.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564152

      My wife and I shared a few tops; otherwise, I bought all of my own, mostly in-person shipping (Lulu is a shopaholic).

      • #564226

        Hello my sweetie lovely to see you here. Gosh yes you are like me, see it got to have it, only trouble is I don’t always get it right, but it’s fun.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564221

      I buy all of my own clothes from everywhere that sells them. Love shopping in person and I love looking for bargains. I also buy ninty present of my wives clothes. She says I have awesome tastes. I am a dress and shoe hound.

      • #564225

        Hi Michelle,

        That a great compliment from your wife that she trusts your taste.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564246
      Caty Ryan

      Mostly on line, but sometimes eg lingerie in person. Also a bit “hybrid”… Buy on line, but go to a local store of that particular brand.. “Pick up for Mrs Ryan” Yes, an old saw but it works…..

      No chance of clothes swapping with the Boss. She is much smaller than me. (EG size 12 bra I’m an 18)




      • #564255

        Hi Caty,

        You have great eye for style.

        Lol Amanda xx

      • #564625

        I’m a bit of a bargain hunter and love buying quite cheap stuff off ebay and some many sellers don’t really care who you are? As long as they get what they want for their items everyone is happy. I do love wandering around shops trying on and buying clothes in person too. I always ask to try them on 1st. Most shops don’t care that I’m woman

        in the process of becoming a woman x

    • #564284

      I am a closeted CD so I buy all my own clothes. I was brave enough to go to Goodwill today and it was exhilarating. Shopped for clothes like every other Women there. Tried on all the clothes I looked at and nobody gave it a second thought. Left there with Women’s pants, a cute flowered Skirt, a Top, 3in Heels and my prize possession a LBD (Little Black Dress)


      • #564293

        Hi Kimberly,

        Congratulations sweetie, it’s such a buzz out buying your own clothes,  and it’s true I always say on here often, nobody actually takes any notice of you either.

        Lol Amanda xx

      • #564311

        Nicely done Kimberley. There is no substitute for in person shopping. Seeing the real color, feeling the actual fabric, trying it on, it’s the only way to go. And Goodwill is a great place to build your confidence. As you said, it’s exhilarating. One of the best things about CD is the shopping. Now you go girl!


        • #564319

          Thank you Clara your right shopping in person is the best. I never tried on Women’s clothes in a dressing room before it was amazing

          • #564603

            In these modern times many shops dont really care if your a man or women. They just want the sale, ive always tried to try things on back in the last century you would get some funny looks? But its all about being confident, i used to say yes i dress as a female because if you were to peel back the layers you would find just that a woman! So girls be happy carefree and most of all yourself is the only way to be

          • #564733

            Good advice Krissy

    • #564304

      Hi Amanda,

      A great question!  Probably the best fitting category as a lone shopping shopaholic is buy my own.  As Grace said from boutiques, women’s clothing stores, charity shops and on-line.


    • #564305
      Rayna Carlian

      I started with the “thrift” approach and such while testing what I liked on my frame.

      Once I was “out” to my wife, I started buying from online shops(Amazon Prime is great, free shipping and free returns).  I also started going to Kohls and other stores in the mall. Sometimes my wife would go with to shop and give her 2 cents on my choices.

      I know some folks have done the Amazon thing delivering to the lockers, so that the SO doesn’t see what’s purchased. I never went that route.

      I was in the Macy’s women’s shoe dept last weekend looking at knee high boots. Another shopper asked, “you looking a these LADIES boots?” with a little too much attitude. I said “Yeah! They’re cuter and have a better heel than the men’s version”, she didn’t know how to respond and just shrugged and started talking to someone else…hehe…

      It’s fun to show her what I picked up and see what she thinks. “oh that’s cute!” is what I hope for. “Ohh, hmm, no…” happens too. Usually followed by “you KNOW you’re not a 23 year old hoochie, why did you get this?” LOL

      Get out there and do some shopping! The more the see us buying what we like in drab, the less surprising it will become for everyone.

      Have fun out there!




      • #564436

        “you KNOW you’re not a 23 year old hoochie, why did you get this?” LOL indeed.

        I have a pair of black pleather Daisy Dukes, and a pair of black pleather leggings, neither of which will ever leave the house. I knew that when I bought them, but a girl can dream of her lost youth, can’t she?


        • #564584
          Rayna Carlian

          That’s exactly right Lulu! dreams are a necessity, like a good pair of pumps…LOL

        • #564703

          Hi Lulu,

          What’s life if we can’t  dream Lulu, it’s a pleasure we can afford, and dreams don’t hurt.

          Lol Amanda xx

      • #564455

        Clothes and shoe shopping en femme is much more fun and feels more natural than drab shopping!

        The range of reactions is stunning – tends to be either gushing enthusiasm and lots more help than you’d expect, or a sniff, a cold shoulder, and being completely ignored like you’re not even there.

        The latter is rare, and those shops simply don’t get my custom.

        I wouldn’t want to support places with that attitude anyway 😁😍😍

        Love Laura

        • #564585
          Rayna Carlian

          COMPLETELY agree Laura! If I feel snubbed for being, Me? I’m out of there….no business again…

        • #564699

          Hi Laura,

          Totally agree shopping en-femme feels so natural, and it’s such a tremendous buzz of excitement.

          Like you any establishment that’s not accepting  of me, does not financially gain by me.

          Lol Amanda xx

      • #564693

        Hi Rayna,

        Absolutely agree sweetie, get out there and shop, because wearing it is just the tip of the iceberg in pleasure being a female.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564315

      When i first started this in earnest, and came out to my wife, She half filled my closet with clothes that were just a bit to big for her, then, as Christmas was coming on, she went crazy buying for Regine.
      Since that time, I buy all my own, online, in person, wherever. The only thing she hasn’t given me, are Lingerie, and shoes, those I pick myself.
      But I am so grateful to her, for getting me going, and she has great taste, I may add.
      Hugs Regi👸💖

      • #564690

        Hi Regi,

        Sounds like you have an absolutely treasure of a wife.

        Bless her,

        Lol Amanda xx

        • #564913

          Oh, she is, and I do, Amanda, I am the luckiest girl alive

    • #564449


    • #564580

      Mine has advanced in stages over the years.
      1. My first wife never knew, so I would sneak hers from the closet when she was away. I would occasionally buy pantyhose and stash in secret hiding places.
      2. After our separation, I bought me a few things, still hid them because nobody knew.
      3. Upon meeting my current wife and confessing to her early on, my wardrobe exploded. She bought me things, let me wear some of her things(we are the same size), gave me things she didn’t like and later gave me things she said she thought looked better on me than it did her. I have also bought myself new outfits on occasions, but she pretty well keeps me stocked up now. My favorite item to buy me is shoes, high heels specifically. We still have a few outfits we both like, so we just share those pieces, but for the most I have my own complete wardrobe now and she has hers.


      • #564688

        Hi Chelly,

        So beautiful and rewarding to read a post where a SO  is  in harmony with  her partner thats a crossdresses. A wonderful example that crossdressing   often can and does work in relationships.

        Lol Amanda xx

        • #564776

          Thank You Amanda!! And yes it can work, and I realize I am fortunate to have a SO that feels the same way.  I see so many stories on here where its not accepted and it makes me realize how lucky I truly am.


    • #564586

      There are four places close to me that resell clothing. I have bought a lot of things there, especially shoes. I wear a women’s nine which is easy to find. I love stilettos and have quite a few pair. I also buy online. I found a seller on eBay that sells (seconds) of Orchard corsets. I ordered one and I am so happy with it. It is a true corset and does wonders for my waistline. I am a little shy about buying in person (It’s for my wife.). I was buying a pair of shoes a few weeks ago at a resale shop. The cashier said ‘enjoy your shoes’ as I left. I gave her a big smile and said thanks. That made me feel so good. I will go back.

      Of the four places, Goodwill is the worst. Volunteers of America is much better with a huge selection at low prices. The other two are resellers. I like them both although one is more friendly than the other.

      • #564681

        Hi ZeeZee,

        I ‘m sure once you get the confidence buying yourself becomes easier. Start at the stores with the nice assistances and remember you don’t have to explain anything it’s not their business to know. Good luck,

        Lol Amanda xx

        • #564756

          I had that experience recently. I took a dress to the counter at a second hand store. She smiled, thanked me and off I went. Hugs.

    • #564663

      I voted:

      Buy my own “women’s” clothes; I’ve been doing this since late 2015. I shop alone and in-store, usually in “drab” but I’ve shopped dressed full en fem twice. I’ve been slow and steady in building my confidence to now I browse and buy from anywhere that sells women’s clothes.

      Wear SO’s cast offs; Although my SO’s clothes are women’s plus sizes and too big for me, she cleaned her closet out this spring and had a huge bag for the donation bin. I had heard of a re-sell store in my area and I separated the nicer clothes from the daily/casual clothes. This time something told me try everything on to see if anything might fit me. Good thing I did, I found a black long sleeve all lace button-up blouse. Since all lace has no stretch, it fit me perfectly; I kept it.

      Others?; I have got some women’s clothes from my CD/TG support group. Before COVID, we partnered with a TG teen support group and held a free clothes swap once or twice per year; usually in the spring and/or autumn. I ended up with 5 dresses, 3 blouses, 1 top, 1 casual top, 1 cardigan, 3 camis, and 1 skirt over two swap events.


      • #564686

        Hi Brittney,

        Love the teen swap idea, or even just a CD second hand  clothes bank which could support those in the local communities that have difficulty in obtaining items either physically or financially.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564805

      I usually make my own purchases either online or in store. My wife and I are different sizes however occasionally we buy each other things or may be returning something that’s sized wrong and the other will adopt it instead but not usually as we typically have different tastes.
      We do share some things such as nail polish, etc..

      • #564974

        Hi Phoebe,

        So lovely to be able to share things with each other, and have the the same interests in feminine clothes and makeup too.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #564929
      Carolyn Kay
      Baroness - Annual

      I buy about half of my clothes myself, either at the stores or on line. The rest of my femme wear my wife helps me with. We go shopping together, I am in drab, and she helps me select items. Just last week she bought me a new bra while we were out. We have a lot of fun shopping and  last year, before covid, she even talked me into using the changing room to try things on. It was only two blouses but still I enjoyed it. She will not go out with me if I am femme dressed but does let me dress around the house.

      • #564973

        Hi Carolyn,

        It’s so lovely to read how many SO’s are actually very supportive of their partners.

        Lol Amanda xx

    • #709769

      I buy my own clothes, but when I was younger my girlfriend at the time knew about Karen and we shared clothes – she wore some of the things I’d bought on impulse and didn’t wear very often and I wore some of her things occasionally.
      Karen x

    • #709770

      My wife has helped me shop online for outfits, shoes and bras.  We went to a flea market once and she helped me buy a wig and some jewelry.  She has also given me some of her clothes that she no longer wore (dresses, a skort, blouses, sleepwear), which works because we are pretty much the same size.  I buy my own panties and stockings, as well as some other things I see (leggings, shoes, bras) from time to time.  There was one time we were bra shopping for her and while she went to the fitting room I was looking at bras for myself.  I found a couple and when she came back told me to put them in the cart.  I was surprised and grateful that she did that.  There have been a couple times she has seen some of the tops I have and said something about borrowing them.  Hasn’t happened yet, but she did say we could borrow from each other so long as we ask first.  It’s kind of funny, she is supportive and does things like that from time to time.  She doesn’t want to see me dressed but will have me try things on when she gives them to me or I get a new outfit.  I’ll never figure it out but so long as I have Suzanne time I’m happy.


    • #709775

      I buy a some of my own clothes, online and in stores. We go shopping together all the time, I am femme of course. If I see something I like my wife will say get it. Sometimes I do but if I say I don’t need it, more times than not, she will put it in the cart. She also will buy something she thinks will look nice on me. At times she will suggest that I purge some things, not that she wants me to stop, but so I have room for new things. We have each given each other clothing that we would be getting rid of. She also will borrow clothing of mine (mainly tops) and has also changed items from mine to hers.

    • #709786

      Hello all
      I buy all my stuff online and have learned all the sizing options pretty quick depending on the originating country. Usually try and buy US or Canada and the 3 best retailers are Modlily, Chicme and
      La senza. They all have great sales and shipping is quick. They have other retailers related to them also. They have continual sales and some things up to 90% off.
      The dresses tops underwear and lingerie are all good quality an a lot of it is made in the states.
      Hope this helps. I posted a few of the outfits on my profile.


    • #564245

      Hi Lisa,

      It’s seems odd that some women don’t like actually shopping yet we accept that men often don’t. I suppose we just expect shopping   to be a woman’s thing, which is rather a sexist assumption. I wonder how many girls on here actually hate shopping, surly the law of averages there must be some.

      Lol Amanda xx


    • #564286

      Hi Caty,

      Gosh just looked at their site, they have some gorgeous clothes, especially tops and blouses. Definitely my kind of choice and style.

      Thank you for information Caty, mail order Australia here I come.

      Lol Amanda xx

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