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Hello everyone, Although I’ve been a member for two years I just now am introducing myself. My journey of discovery my other side seems to be an off and on one. I go through periods of intense desire to explore my feminine feelings, then periods where I rarely think of it at all. So after a long period of absence I dropped back in and thought I’d say hello 🙂
Welcome Julie, nice to meet you. I also go through some of the highs and lows as you do. I think it is different for each of us, but glad you are here.
Hi Julie!
Welcome back. My feelings are off and on sometimes, but for me it is more that when I’m feeling down, I just want to curl up and hide. Then once I can get through the horrible feelings and start to feel better I start to want to dress again. Sometimes just wearing cute socks starts to help pull me out of the murk. Also being here and seeing all the love helps!
Hugs!-
Me too! Wearing cute socks is frequently how I keep things girly when I don’t really have the opportunity for a more feminine session.
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“Normal”…idk but I’m the same way so you’re not alone. I’ve noticed as I get older, there are more ons than offs ☺️
The number of times I thrown panties and bras away has cost me hundreds of pounds.
I think my crossdressing is over and then a few weeks later I am out buying new panties and bras.
Now I have joined Cdh I have other girls to talk to and I am a lot more relaxed.
Love
HelenaHello Julie,
I think that’s pretty normal. The ups and downs seem to be a pretty common experience for all of us. Wanting to dress, not wanting to, wanting to purge, wanting to splurge, you go out dressed up and feel perfectly comfortable, you go out dressed up and you’re terrified, it feels so right, and it feels so wrong. It’s just how it is I think.Hi Julie, I think I understand your situation. I had a ‘dry streak’ that lasted almost fifty years. (Other things just gt in the way!) The one thing I have learned is there is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ in exploring our femininity. In my opinion, only you know what is best for you, and if you are comfortable with your arrangement who is to say it is not the “right’ way to pursue your journey. I will be anxious to hear more about your experiences in the coming weeks. Hugs, Paulette
Julie that’s something I’m sure many of us have indured. Myself included. Perhaps much to do with our hectic lives. Time just won’t allow or feelings are overwhelming from other things. Or loss of interest, many reasons. Knowing were still here makes our journeys together always possible. Welcome back 🌷
Hello Julie,
Welcome to our amazing CrossDresserHeaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.
The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrosDresser Heaven.
At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages. You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.
Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.
Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/
Regards,
Terri Anne, Ambassador
=========== Link to our public Chat room ==============
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/chat/
Hi Julie, you’ve made a good decision to come back. The support and understanding found here really can make all the difference in the special kind of lives we live. It sure has for me! Crossdressing has been with me on and off for more than 55 years and while I can’t say I totally understand all the why’s about it, I’ve finally figured out to just relax and accept it on my own terms. YOU decide what’s normal for you. Hugs,
*** Kayla ***
Julie, no worries at all.
What’s wrong with choosing femininity once and a while?
One of the wonderful things about “us” is that we can choose when we want to be a girl. Isn’t that awesome!
Diane
Hello Julie, when you away from our site for any reason it is reassuring to know that caring, supportive people are close by at CDH. Normal, has changed. We are valuable people who help others. Family friends. So why shouldn’t we indulge a part of our self.
If we are happy underneath we project sunlight. We need that today.
Best Wishes
Jane
It’s good to hear that lots of us seem to be in the same boat. I’m very new to CD ing, and sometimes the desire to dress is very strong and it’s really on my mind! Worse so when I can’t, as the opportunities to dress are so rare. Other times I think about it much less, even to the point where I think it’s crazy and why do I feel that I want to do it all, am I mad?? Then just lately I have even dreamed about being dressed or partially dressed…. What’s it all about? So to answer your question, yes, I think it is an on and off affair for many of us. The thing I am trying to do is accept that is part of my life, but not my whole life, and to just enjoy it when I can.
I Keep my toes painted a deep red to keep a little bit of Jenny with me at all times, that helps to keep me “on” in a small way!
I hope that helps Julie. Keep us posted!
Hugz.
Jenny. X
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We’ll said. Sometimes it’s all I can think about and carry it around in my head all day and other times it’s “what are you doing…this isn’t you!”
cody❤️
I can absolutely relate to this and often find that the desire to dress can come and go in waves. The feminine side of me can at times become all I will think about, sometimes for weeks at a time, then the desire will ebb away for a while, sometimes hours, sometimes days, never for much longer though. I will say that the days I’m not feeling like being femme in some way or another are becoming less frequent as I get more comfortable and in tune with my femme side – there’s always now some part of Kim hanging about somehow.
It can be a little frustrating having the time and opportunity to dress and just not feeling ‘it’. Always feels like a chance missed!
I’m also quite comfortable with my male side so there are times when I’m just busy doing ‘guy’ things and Kim takes a backseat. I think it’s OK to have two sides that you can express when the time is right.
Its normal in my world also. As someone else has told me maybe its the moon, stars. Sun spots who knows ? Since I have joined this group. Which is the first time I have done anything this open with others. I have become more accepting of myself. I have even became brave enough to post a picture. (Amateur). I am trying to improve my skills. My answer is yes its normal for me also.
Hugs tina
Hello Julie, I can relate to this, having only just come back from a period of ‘purge’. However, this time feels different. I am making an effort to reach out to the community, try to understand more and accept Heather can exist alongside my male self. Both of ‘me’ feel genuine and am happy with that. I just wish Heather could be more visible and I wouldn’t feel so guilty about being secret. By that I mean I want Heather to be less of a secret as I think a lot of my guilt is not being open to my family. Interestingly, I think the kids would be far more accepting than in previous generations.
Heather xHello Julie,
I think we all go through periods where life is to demanding on us as men to find the time to get in touch with our feminine side.
She’s always there waiting behind a locked door. We go through stages where we don’t even think about her until she knocks very hard on the door and demands being let out.
When we finally take the time to let her out to freely express herself, it’s a blissful, wonderful feeling that’s hard to describe.
I have also found it’s very hard to put her back away after letting her out. I don’t have a problem going on with my daily life after she’s put back away, but it’s so hard to unfeminize myself and put away all my pretty clothes and lock her back in the back of my mind.
Hopefully the day will come where men will have the same freedom as women do to express themselves as masculine or feminine whenever they chose to. Sadly, I have lived way too much of my life keeping my feminine side hidden to even think about openly letting that girl in me out for everyone in my life to see.
If or when that day comes future boys will have a much easier time in life with openly expressing their selves in the way that makes them feel the most comfortable.
Julie,
That used to be “normal” for me, too. That is, until I found CDH. It’s true, finding this site, making friends here (some of whom have left), and interacting frequently (maybe a little too frequently) as Raquel with my girlfriends, sharing mine and their happy times and sad times, has helped me discover, accept, and love that part of me.
I still have a life where I am a guy, with a wife, family, and friends. With a job and guy responsibilities.
But, now I know, and never forget, that underneath, there is a part of me that is a beautiful, fun loving girl.
The two parts coexist in peace.
So now, “normal” for me is to go about my day, as that guy, but wear panties underneath my drab, and maybe slip on a camisole beneath my polo shirt, or if I’m out of the house, clip on some earrings or apply some lipstick.
I never want to go back to the “old normal” ever again. And I hope you find your own “new normal” where Julie can be a part of your life, however small, but never gone.
Much love,
Raquel
I would say that those fluctuations are fairly normal. I’m not sure any one of us is constant in our desire for feminine expression. Unless we are living full time as women, it seems there are always circumstances when we can’t do so, or situations when our attention is diverted elsewhere.
Every human being alive today has been a female for a short period in their mother’s womb. I don’t know how long of a period of time that is when the male comes out. I don’t know if maybe only some of us remember that wonderful time of life. I am sure I remember it. I also remember a time as a baby when I was saw just my mons and felt a warmth seeing it. Say what you will but that’s the way I feel. Some of us just can’t let go
I love that!!!!!
x Lolli x
Hi Julie nice to meet you ha ha again as you know how we are around here please join in with some life time stories of Julie as the girls here that we are we live to read about every girl here so come on girl give it up he he .. We are here for you in every way we can help just ask girlfriend and with the welth of knowledge here you will recieve hugs girlfriend..
Stephanie Bass
I think I am experiencing an “off” point. After spending the weekend as my female alter, I am having a strong urge to get rid of everything… again. I’m not however. Too many pennies spent.
Its kind of like the make orgasm recovery period. You have one then for at least a half an hour you want nothing to do with sex.
For me it seems to be related to my free time.
Pre Covid, I only thought about crossdressing during my commute and in the evening as I was too busy at work. Then I started working from home and was able to wear lingerie while working, so I was obviously thinking about, and desiring, to dress more.
I retired in September and it seems like I entered the fog and can’t find my way out. Not that I want to, I love being in it. my SO is coming around more, we actually go shopping once a week and she gives me pointers. She has approved wearing dresses, and bought me a couple, but only around the house so far. She is also ok with pants and androgynous tops.
The bottom line, and to answer the question, yes, it’s on and off for me but slowly staying on longer. Will I go full time at some point? I don’t think so, at least not full en femme, but the female side of my closet will continue to grow I hope
Stephanie
Greetings, Julie. This is such an interesting thread. The majority of your respondents share your experience, but through a prism of mindsets about it. Thanks for asking the question.
I too feel the desire to dress repeatedly approach and ebb like a shoreline. I think about dressing far more than I actually do it. The result is that when I can no longer resist and I do dress, the experience is so much more exhilarating than if I were to dress routinely.
I usually enjoy dressing at home and underdressing outside for about five consecutive days or so. I enjoy it so much that I wonder why I do not do this all the time. By the fifth day or so, I start thinking how life is less complicated in just a t-shirt and shorts, and all my girlie clothes go back into the drawers for about three months.
Neither the desire nor the mental images ever totally disappear, however. CeCe just goes into hibernation until the next fling. Rather than allowing myself to be troubled by this double life, I am appreciating the natural fluctuations and the rhythms of this journey.
I suspect that if I knew of someone within a reasonable distance who also liked to dress, that might change the panorama. I might be encouraged to dress more often because we would have casual social time together while dressed. At the present time, no members of my social circles are genuinely invested in my crossdressing enthusiasm, so the thrill of my CeCe time is all mine, and I allow the dressing adventures to come and go with the tides.In my younger days on and off dressing was pretty normal for me. But as I aged and now that I’m in retirement I am dressing far more than I ever imagined and am in stealth mode now almost daily. I chalk that up to having the time and resources now to indulge to any level I wish, to having finally come to terms with my true identity, to having come out to my wife and being accepted and supported by her and to have finally come around to that wonderfully liberating mindset of really not giving a damn about what anyone else thinks about me and what I do. 🙂
*** Kayla ***
Hi Julie, welcome to cdh.
And yes, I can understand it being off and on. To be honest, I don’t know if it’s part of our make-up, or it’s just because of having an active life. I’ve worked all my life, until my retirement, been involved in lots of different activities, most of which were non-gender based – civic organization, charities, physical activities such as sports, besides being involved in being married and help raise a family of both sexes. With all that there’s not a whole lot of time to personally indulge in what in the recesses of my soul, I’ve wanted to do.
Yet, give me some private time, and I’ll jump at the chance, as I’ve always done for most of my life.
And anyway, from all that I’ve observed and dealt with in life, if you’re not hurting yourself or others, then practically anything else you could do, and want to do, should be considered ‘normal’. I’ve been around lots of others who do things they like, and while I wouldn’t consider it all normal for me, it seems to be for them, and they’re mostly happy.
So, enjoy doing what makes you happy, when and how you can, and consider yourself, happily normal.
Hugs, ChloeC
ps yes, not hurting others can be a difficult undertaking, especially not causing emotional hurts, but part of love and acceptance should include those others you care for, also showing they deeply care for you and that should always include what makes you happy.
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