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2) One brief moment
I heard the ding of a test message as I stood to leave work for home yesterday. Not recognizing the number, I almost skipped over it-probably a wrong number I thought. Yet somehow I KNEW I was supposed to answer it and when I read it my heart jumped into my throat and tears poured forth as I learned that a friend form the site who was already dealing with the breakup of her marriage and having to explain that situation to three children (15, 13, and 8 years old) . She had not planned on getting into that issue with them yet and in fact her wife had said she would support whatever she chose to tell them about the reasons for the split. We had been talking about the whole situation for several days to a week prior to yesterday. But the kids were not dealing with the situation during the day at school and wanted to know WHY it was all happening. She was texting me to ask what my advice was as her therapist was unavailable. I recommended telling them the truth(in words they could understand-perhaps differently for each was a different age and maturity). I also let her know that I would be praying for her and her family as they had these discussions. She thanked me and I did as I said asking God to open the hearts of he daughters and help them understand this was something that she NEEDED to do to be true to herself. BUT fate intervened a half hour later as she found out that another relative had found out and was talking to other family members and she was worried that word would get to her daughter-especially the middle one who had been having a difficult time with the breakup already– BEFORE she had a chance to talk to her herself! I reiterated my earlier words that I would be praying for her and that she was not alone and that everything would work out if she told them the truth in love. A half hour passed…then another half hour and finally I heard the chime of an incoming text and found out that all had gone well. Tears again streamed down my cheeks but his time they were tears of unbridled joy and the vision I described above came into my mind.
So I guess the moral of this post is that a brief moment deciding to take that text made a big difference in the lives of an entire family. They did the hard work-I was just a sounding board and a person for her to vent to about things and give my thoughts on the situation. Their family and God deserve all the credit but I was blessed as well The next time you feel too tired to answer the phone or return that email, I hope this experience comes to mind and you remember that one brief moment can change the course of history.
Lovely story Cyn.
One thing that I’ve come to realise of the last couple of years or so is that we should never underestimate the impact we can have on someone else’s life. That friendly “hello” we offer might be the first nice thing abyone has said to them all day. The smile we give them might be a positive sign that they we noticed. Taking the time to say “I’m here if you need me” and being there, all can be of great benefit to another.
One great thing about CDH is that we can help and support each other even though we may never have met nor are ever likely to.
Let’s be there for each other, in whatever way is necessary.
Loved your story Cynthia. I came to the realization a few years ago that I did not want to replicate the mistakes of my father. He never once told me anytime during my life that he loved me. Even on his death bed. I started to tell my Mom that I loved her at the end of our weekly phone calls (she lived on the other side of the country). It was so wonderful to hear her say it back to me. And I started telling my kids; son and daughter, that I loved them. Think I caught my son off-guard. He doesn’t say it back to me often; he is into texting and I get it from him that way. My daughter now tells me she loves me at the end of our regular phone calls (she lives two hours away). I’m so happy to have made the step I did. Take care; All the best, Krista.
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