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Hi girls, thought I’d share my story on how I came out. Maybe return some of the help I have received. PS it’s a long one.
It was the day before my 31st birthday I wasn’t looking forward to it, started to feel old. I woke up at my friend house earlier than I usually did after not much sleep. Stressed and tied, worried about my thoughts on woman’s clothes. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I had to tell someone and my friend, who is also my ex and like my sister, was too close not to tell.
So when she woke up properly, we sat at her table and I told her I like CDing. I the premtited the question am I gay and assured her I’m not. She just took it and said she was fine with it. Told her I liked the way the feel on me. Rest of the day went by as if I hadn’t said a thing. It got to tea time and I tried to talk more about it. She just went upstairs and came down two minutes later, Dress In Hand. Said that it was mine. It’s loose, completly unflattering and not Trishs but was my first dress. Wore it for the remainder of the day.
Went my mum’s that night. Got there about 8 o’clock, tied from the ride and emotional day. Collapsed on the couch. My mum knew something was on my mind straight away. Tried to pretend I was just tied. Two agonising hours later, everyone had gone to bed apart from my mum. Knew I had to tell her, we’d always been close. I’m basically the male version of her. She was obviously shocked, but sopportive. Two weeks earlier I told her I felt less masculine than most men. I was cring and shaking as I told her. She was like why didn’t you tell me earlier, you knew I’d sopport you, you’re my son. It probably helped my sister had come out as gay few months earlier, not that we hadn’t known for years. I just said it’s only just reached crisis point and I couldn’t hold it in any more. We talked more for about another hour I think, want keeping track of time. She said why don’t you tell your sister.
So she went to get her whist I went the toilet. Knew my sister wouldn’t be bothered and she wasn’t. She was like, it’s nothing unusual. We talked about what clothes I like and she ordered me a pencil skirt. We then talked and I said I was scared how my dad would take it. He’s from Iran, thus has served and was on the front lines in the Iran Iraq wars. He has been asking if I was gay for years.
After some encouragement my mum decided that he’d probably take the news ok. So went upstairs and asked him to come down. Sat on the couch next to him shaking bmore than I thought possible. Said that this was the scariest thing I have ever done. Had a line in my head, you know you’ve always wanted to know if I’m gay, well I’m not but there is something. He’s like okay? I like womens clothing I said. He asked why, I explained. Two minutes later he was making a joke about it. We all finished off our cuppas and went bed. No one got any sleep apart from my sister, who has fatigue due to cancer meds. It’s stable and controlled.
Next day I felt more releived than ever before. My secret since I was 12 was out. I spent time talking to my femme self. She introduced herself. My sis was going Tesco for a few things, do I gave her my card and she got me some clothes. Wore them that night. Paranoid I’d wake me two young neices 10 and 14 yo and little bro, 10.
Thus Trisha Langdan was born, she didn’t want my mum’s maden name, don’t know why. Can’t decide if her birthday is the 20th or 19th. All I know is that my 31st went from being irrelevant to one of the most important days of my life and I couldn’t ask for a better family.
Well that’s my story, warned you it was long. Hope this helps some of my lovely sisters.
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