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First, I want to re-introduce myself. I’m Tara Jeane and I’ve been a member here on CDH (the best place on the internet) since 12/16/20. It’s been a while since I’ve posted or hung out here much. Not really on purpose. Just busy and life gets in the way. But I feel what I did today needs to be posted just to let you know it can be done.
Ladies, I can honestly tell you that I NEVER thought I’d be making this post in the forums. I just never thought I could do it. But, this morning, I did.
I don’t know what it was about this morning. I was doing some stuff and needed to take out some trash and I always put on a skirt to take out the trash. It’s just one of those things that gives me a quick opportunity to dress, even if it’s just a little.
So I took the trash out to the trash can and came back upstairs. I stood there for a second. I knew my wife would be up any minute and I just decided…today is the day. I just can’t hide it any longer. I fed the dogs and when I was finished, I heard her come out of the bedroom. My flight instinct almost took over but I was like NO! It’s time.
I called out good morning and she said it back and I walked around the corner in my skirt.
She came out of the bedroom and she said, what are you wearing? Is it a long t-shirt?
I said, No. It’s a skort.
WHY are you wearing a skort?
Because I like them….and I have to tell you something else. I also like dressing as a woman. (Some background, I’ve been wearing leggings around the house since I’ve been a member here. I just told her that I thought they were super comfy and it took a bit, but she became fine with me wearing them around the house. We also bought the same pair of ladies Skecher’s shoes cuz I said I really liked them. She said, but they have a pink logo and I colored mine blue, so she was good with that also.)
She was (expectedly) a bit dumbfounded. We both sat down and I told her how I’ve wanted to and have worn women’s clothes starting as a kid. I’ve always thought women’s clothes were prettier, more fun and what I’ve wanted to wear, but I couldn’t unless I was alone. I told her that when I had the chance to do it through junior high and high school, I would transform into Tara. She asked, who is Tara? Me! I’m Tara. She said, really? You were actually a girl when you dressed? Absolutely. Did your parents know? NOBODY knew. The weird thing is when I went away to college, somehow I buried that part of myself until December of 2020 when I was putting my hair in a ponytail in the mirror and EVERYTHING came flooding back. She said, Oh my God. That part of yourself was gone for over 30 years? Yep. And I tried to stop after those first couple of months and I can’t. This is part of my being and truly who I am.
She asked, you’re not going to BECOME a woman, are you? I said I had no plans to transition and that I’m a cross dresser and gender fluid. Sometimes I like projecting as male and sometimes female. She asked if it went beyond skirts. Do you wear a bra? Yes. Do you have women’s clothes hidden somewhere? Yes. Are they prettier than mine? (That was funny and we both laughed.) I said not necessarily. But I do really like tennis skirts. Where did you get your clothes? Mostly Goodwill. She knew I frequented thrift stores looking for shirts I could tie dye, but didn’t know about me buying women’s clothes (obviously, since I JUST told her) and I didn’t go into the EXTENT of my clothing collection (OR SHOES!) since I didn’t want to over burden the discussion, so there’s still some stuff there to review as time goes on.
So far, she’s understanding, but she said she doesn’t want to see me dressed. She said she’s fine with me wearing leggings, but doesn’t really want to see me wearing skirts. I have a feeling that over time, she’ll let me, but we’ll see. The ONLY way that I will do that is if she comes to ME and says you can wear your skirts. I will not bring it up again, unless prompted. I told her that I knew this was a lot to process and I’m sure she’d have questions. All you have to do is ask and I’ll be as honest as I can.
Overall, it was really positive and that is a HUGE WEIGHT lifted off of my shoulders! I honestly thought I would take this to the grave unless she found out somehow. Now, I’ll be waiting for the ‘Whiplash Effect’ that we’ve heard so many times at CDH where the wife was initially understanding and then, not so much. Hopefully, that doesn’t happen, but it’s one day at a time now. We hung out all day today and she didn’t bring it up again. Like I said, I’m giving her Grand Canyon kind of space with this. It’s possible she’ll bury it and it’ll be a ‘don’t ask/don’t tell’ kind of thing (which, based on my level of terror in coming out of the closet to begin with, I think I’d be fine with). Or, she’ll want to know more about it. We’ll see. But you CAN come out of the closet girls. I want you to know that it IS possible!
If you have questions, just ask!
*kisses* tara 🙂
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