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I just knew that If I put ‘panties’ into the title I would grab your attention.
This post is not about panties… Oh no! It is about gravity. Yes you read it right … gravity. Before you go let me encourage you to read on. Hopefully I can entertain you and show you how gravity has surprising effect on us girls. I will talk about PANTIES – a fine example of anti-gravity engineering – a bit later.
This is a lighthearted totally scientific thesis (I might send it to the New Scientist – maybe I will get an honorary doctorate. Dr Stephanie Plumb. I like the sound of that.) about the effect gravity has on us trying to pass as girls. No really!
First, the science.
We are spinning round at 12,000 miles an hour, and gravity, that weak but extremely powerful force keeps us from flying off into space. It is so weak that you can overcome its effect with almost no effort. For example, you can pull your panties up over your silky legs. You can throw one of your 5″ heels high into the air. But gravity is so powerful it wins in the end. What goes up must always comes down…… UNLESS …. you put enough energy into the equation to get beyond its pull. I’m talking about rockets.
Now – what it does.
How does gravity affect us? Although collagen plays it’s part, over time it is gravity’s relentless pull that makes our jowls head south. So do the corners of our mouths, and eyebags, and neck skin. The ‘natural’ females breasts also head south and her nipples migrate around to point at the floor. At least we don’t have to put up with that. We have to contend with that paunch that creeps to hang down over our belt. Gravity also causes one of our goolies to escape from our panties and hang down towards the floor.
We walk with shoulders slumped, head forward as though we have a weight attached to it. Our arms hang down, not resisting the pull. We are being pulled to the ground, where we will eventually end up. Females generally weigh quite a bit less than we do, so the effects of gravity’s pull are less – or at least they require less energy to overcome its effects.
So what can we do? ENERGY is the key. We put energy into the equation.
Use those neck muscles. Stand straighter. Head up. Pull in that gut when you walk. Make the arms swing more, held loose, limp wristed. Walk lighter, with faster but shorter steps. And there is a bonus – using all this extra energy burns up some of the fat you have been accumulating for decades.
Energy In = walking like a girl. ( More interesting than E = MC2)
Try an instant facelift …… SMILE! Yes you can do it if you try hard enough. And maintain it. Put ENERGY into it and it will pull up your jowls and push up your rosy cheek apples. An added benefit is that it makes you more attractive!
Women use engineering to support their sagging breasts. The bra is a wonderful thing. It can be made up of 40+ seperate components, constructed to halt the downturn. It is nothing less than a miracle of anti-gravity engineering! So are breastforms. They are gravity resistant in that they maintain their shape. If you want the breasts of a 20 year old you can have them!
Now, at last, we come to your panties. Interest piqued??? If it wasn’t for their construction, using modern materials to make them silky smooth and nice and tight, caressing and gripping your bum cheeks and endowed with an elastic waistband – they would slither down your stocking legs and pool around your heels , another victim to gravity. The elastic waistband – truly a masterpiece of anti-gravity engineering.
I have run out of steam, or rather energy, penning this tripe. Its nonsense. Or is it?
I am sure I have missed a lot. Can you add to gravity’s effects? Both +ve and -ve?
(Dr) Stephanie P.
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