Perhaps the toughest challenge of our lives…..

[Autumn Valiant]

Hello everyone!!!

I was working away from home this week and had to stay at a hotel. Most nights I was so exhausted from working overtime I didn’t have the energy or time to dress. Thursday night however was different. I got to put on my favorite blouse, my favorite skirt, some black leggings and a blue bra that is extremely soft and comfy. I felt so good that to extend the experience I slept in my clothes. It was wonderful.

The next day I awoke and reluctantly changed into my manly work clothes and went to work. My spirits were high until part way into the day I saw a group of male co-workers laughing and pointing at someones phone. I went over to them to see what was so funny.

They (my coworkers) were making fun of photos of Sam Brinton. They (as in the non-binary pronoun that Sam identifies with) currently serve as the deputy assistant secretary of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition in the Office of Nuclear Energy in the United States. Please don’t think this is a political post, because it isn’t. Sam Brinton is being investigated for stealing luggage from 2 different airports. True or not? No way for me to know. But even that isn’t the point of this post. The luggage accusations are the reason they are in the media at the moment. The media on both sides are making it political. Please if you read this refrain from any “this side” vs “that side” comments. I am trying to make a point and espousing political sides and points will cause the moderators to pull this post so please refrain!!!!

The point is my coworkers said some incredibly mean things and made me feel horrible. I won’t post their garbage here. They did get me thinking though. I can’t speak for anyone else’s experience but my own but to me it seems that people in general have a habit of making fun of others. On the one hand some do it to make themselves feel good/better about themselves or to make themselves look better in the eyes of their peers some how. If you sit and watch enough comedy movies or sitcoms you will notice that much of the humor that makes us laugh is based on making fun of someone for what they did or what they look like.

So here it comes….. perhaps the toughest challenge we will ever face…..

I challenge you to not make fun of anyone ever for the rest of your life.

Start with a day and let me know how it goes. Then a week. Then a month. Make it your mission to recognize every instance in your life when the butt of the joke was a human being living their life. Sure in a comedy they aren’t real people…… but art imitates life and life imitates art. There really isn’t a difference. At least I don’t think so anymore.

Hugs & Love,

Autumn

• This topic was modified 3 months ago by Autumn Valiant.
• This topic was modified 3 months ago by Autumn Valiant.
• This topic was modified 3 months ago by Autumn Valiant.

Total of 34 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.

Cathryn, Dani Grand, Jess Secret, Michelle Trott, Marg Produe, Maive O'Neal, Michelle Skylar, Roberta Broussard, karley delaware, Jerri Newman, ChloeC, Alice Underwire, Kayla Olson, Cassie Jayson, Lara Tucker, Fredrika Jones, Kim Dahlenbergen, Emily Alt, Lauren Mugnaia

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[Tara D Sometimes]

HI Autumn. Your post really does spark some deeper thought. You are right … we all pass judgment one way or another on different things. Anything that does not align to our own individual line of thinking can easily trigger that response. But when you look at it from the perspective that many others would quickly pass judgment on each of us because they don’t understand why a guy like any of us would want to dress like a woman, it really should make us all pause. I love your challenge sister!

XO Tara

1 user thanked author for this post.

Lauren Mugnaia

[J J]

As Brian said in “The Life of Brian”, “Do not judge others, least you be judged”.

What someone wears, or who someone loves,  does not affect me, so it is of no consequence to me. There is no reason to judge them or even comment on them.

What we can do is in such circumstances is to educate others about tolerance of diversity.

3 users thanked author for this post.

Jamie Smyth, Lauren Mugnaia

[Michelle Trott]

I agree with your post but I think that he did a diservice to himself and to all of us. When I dress I think I have to hold myself to a higher standard because of the scrunity we are under. Sorry if you disagree. And I could care less what his political views are.

4 users thanked author for this post.

Lauren Mugnaia, Lynda Jones, Giselle Reeves

[Roberta Broussard]

Ther is a great difference in laughing at the things we do and laughing at someone. Most comedians use one or the other in their acts. Being unable to laugh at yourself makes life so much harder.

7 users thanked author for this post.

Lauren Mugnaia, Giselle Reeves, Lynda Jones, Stevie Steiner, Michelle McQueen, Erika Henderson

[Dawn Shaw]

I enjoyed your article, Its is easy to fall into the trap of our base instinct of pack mentality,It seems you always find this with 4 or more hardly ever with 2 individuals.The coward seems to always start it off. They come in all sex and sizes and are easily picked out.Someone wears something new a trend perhaps and that’s when they pounce mostly behind the persons back at first then if they can gain enough traction then in font of the person.
I was part of one of these encounters years ago.I was new at the work place and I suppose I wanted to fit in. I later talked to the guy and he was gay and was seeing someone at another part of the building. I introduced myself apologized and we became friends it was not long after I was treated in the same manner. I stopped asked them what was the joke and I didn’t understand how it made anyone feel good to put a person down like that.This kind of behavior needs to be confronted, always. Asked them what’s so funny? why is it funny? Most won’t be able to explain and it will soon stop after you make someone look silly.

• This reply was modified 3 months ago by Dawn Shaw.

5 users thanked author for this post.

Lauren Mugnaia, Stevie Steiner, Michelle McQueen, Erika Henderson

[ChloeC]

Hi, Autumn, I agree with everything you wrote.  Growing up, I was never the star athlete, the brilliant scholar, or one of the ‘cool’ kids.  I had to work quite hard just to get by as being seen and more or less accepted as ‘average’.  Knowing then that I was trans- something or other didn’t help in the least.  And I remember all the times that mostly boys, but also noticing that some girls did too, made fun of, heckled, belittled, and basically harassed, those in less pleasant circumstances than me, not as pretty or as handsome or as smart or as sociable as to be acceptable.  I wish I would have spoken up, but I – like so many others – needed to at least maintain my position so I kept quiet. Basically in some ways I still do.  Oh, I’ll rise to the defense if I feel there’s too much unjustified persecution going on, but I also live in a community where there’s a very wide political (and social) spectrum.  And we have friends, actually somewhat close friends now that are all over the political spectrum.  We don’t talk politics, although a word or two does slip into conversations, but is quickly glossed over.  However, we hosted a fall party for our neighbor friends, and our extended friends in the larger community who we both have met and liked in the 9 years my spouse and I now lived here.  The party included people of both ends of the popular political spectrum and included several couples who represent the first two letters of our favorite acronym. Next time meeting up with some the other attendees, they were amazed at the diversity they saw. And I realized that maybe some of us don’t have to argue, browbeat, cajole or yell out our beliefs, we just show by our actions that we accept others for who they are, not what we want them to be.

Hugs, ChloëC

• This reply was modified 3 months ago by ChloeC.

7 users thanked author for this post.

Lauren Mugnaia, Fiona Black, Marg Produe, Maive O'Neal, Carole Corbett, Michelle McQueen, Erika Henderson

[Fredrika Jones]

Yeah – just don’t make fun of people. The Will Rogers quote says it best, but ignorant people can’t get something so simple.
Kisses,
Fredrrika Jones

3 users thanked author for this post.

Lauren Mugnaia, Erika Henderson, Lara Tucker

[Michelle McQueen]

Thanks Autumn for bringing up a subject thats not talked about very much and you did a great job not making your post political. Making fun of others has nothing to do with being political but is a form of bullying. Its the easy, quick, weapon of those who are far less superior than the object of derision.

I’ve always disliked those making fun of others for self serving reasons and when they would try to bring me in on their mean joke I just blank stare at them like the idiots they are. It shows their lack of self esteem and cruelty. I’ve avoided relatives and friends because of their constant put down of others. Its just not funny, its bullying, and a shame its so accepted. Care and compassion is in very short supply today and seems to be less of it every day.

This site is so special because the founders and moderators keep it safe from bullying and haters. Those kind of people you speak of in your post. Thank you CDH!

9 users thanked author for this post.

karley delaware, Lara Tucker, Lauren Mugnaia, Emily Alt, Becky Davis, Marlene Roberts, Stevie Steiner, Саманта, Erika Henderson

[Lucinda Hawkns]

its a shame that people have to be so stupid or ignorant, calling people names or ridicule them for what they are or did. if that person was there, the people would not be laughing at him or calling him names. everyone has to do it behind their back. the person they are making fun of is not there to defend himself.  society needs some respect for other people.  just like holding a door for a lady to get in the store. treat them with kindness and you will get it back.   just yesterday i seen a car that had a flat tire i pulled over put on my yellow light for caution men working on a flat tire, helped that person till the job was done and he gave me 40 for helping him with the tire. it was not a easy job for the spare tire was under the back and was rusted so the cable would not move, then the lug nuts on the truck was so hard to get off, my battery-operated gun would not take it off, we had to use heat to get it loose. but after all that it was done and on his way. see helping people will pay off, it’s like pay it forward. treat me with kindness no matter what i am a cross dresser or what ever, i will treat you back with kindness.

8 users thanked author for this post.

Maive O'Neal, karley delaware, Lara Tucker, Lynda Jones, Lauren Mugnaia, Emily Alt, Michelle McQueen, Саманта

[Deborah Sullivan]

I saw her (Sam Briton) story on the news as well and my reaction was how sexy she looked. She takes the non binary look to a new level but I know its not everyones taste

8 users thanked author for this post.

Maive O'Neal, Roberta Broussard, Lara Tucker, Lauren Mugnaia, Emily Alt, Michelle McQueen, Саманта, Erika Henderson

[Stevie Steiner]

Wonderful post Autumn!   I will admit that I look for the “funny” in peoples actions and situations, but that is not the same, and I do refrain from making fun of people, the exception being that I will make fun of haters – I’m not perfect, lol.

I don’t like people making fun of me, so it’s only right not to make fun of others.  ( the “treat others as you would like to be treated” idea ).

You are spot on in saying many people do it to feel superior or better about their own miserable lives, and some are just haters ( ar$eholes ) by nature.  Thats a sad commentary on human behavior, isn’t it?   Lets all try to do our bit in changing that.

Stevie

7 users thanked author for this post.

Lara Tucker, Lauren Mugnaia, Emily Alt, Саманта, Erika Henderson, Michelle McQueen, Autumn Valiant

[Erika Henderson]

Autumn, first let me say that I feel you addressed this topic with wonderful diplomacy and tact. I applaud your courage in writing and posting this. I know that was not easy so thank you for taking the time to write that and express your feelings. I agree that many in society make fun of what is different because it makes them feel better and lowers what is different. It’s much easier to marginalize what you think isn’t your “equal.” I believe, and maybe this is just me trying to see the best in people, is that for many, it is just ignorance. It does take time for the public to be educated, but it can happen. So, I will accept your challenge, and do my best to not make fun of anyone for the rest of my life. If we want to positive change, then it has to start somewhere. I’ve decided it needs to start with me.

9 users thanked author for this post.

Lara Tucker, Lauren Mugnaia, Emily Alt, Lynda Jones, Michelle McQueen, Susan Talbot, June Holl, Саманта, Autumn Valiant

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