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  • #398442
    rebekka moore
    Participant
    Registered On: January 7, 2017
    Topics: 77
    Replies: 846
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    Unfortunately ey may not all be good.

    I may have mentioned previously that I recently lost my job.  New boss, new changes that I was not a part of.

    It’s been 2 weeks but even at this stage the prospects of a new job don’t look great.  In response I get what I believe is code for “you are too old…..” which is “your experience is very good, but you may be “over qualified” for this role.”  Either that or just no response at all.

    If that is not enough worry my SO late last week received a notice from her employer that they are offering “early retirement” packages to some employees, she being one of them.  Of course they have a short period of time to decide to take the package or not, they do have the option.  But this is the first step companies take when they are going to “thin the heard”.  If she does not take it, it will me a month maybe 2, before she gets laid off.

    We cannot afford to stay in our home if this happens.  My SO is always uber concerned where financials are involved, so she is already talking about moving and leaving the (SF Bay area).  It is so expensive to live here.

    I really don’t want to leave for a few reasons, one of them being where ever we may go (which has limited options), will not be as easy to even dress in the simple mode I do now.  That really bothers me.  Just striking me this morning too is, how would I even pack all my gurl things?!  Ugh.

    This all has to be decided within the next month.  The options are limited and there are at least 2 others we have to take into consideration.  My SO has a much greater chance of finding a new job given her expertise, but even then it would be at a lesser $$ figure.  I have to find something quick too.  Sigh

    I’m sorry for venting, but this is the only place I can where people would understand the dilemma, and how it relates to the whole CD thing, not to mention everything else.

    Thank you for listening, you fabulous Ladies!

    R.

    🙁

Viewing 20 reply threads
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    • #408649
      Autumn Valiant
      Participant
      Registered On: July 14, 2019
      Topics: 30
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      Has thanked: 15480 times
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      Hi Rebekka,

      So sorry to hear about your job. It really sucks that we live in times where some business “changes” include having our past contributions and accomplishments forgotten by the companies we work for. There aren’t many companies who are loyal to employees but they expect the employees to be 100% committed to the company. I hope a good opportunity comes your way so you don’t have to move.

      Hugs

      Autumn

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #408999
        Lily-Rose Nielsen
        Participant
        Registered On: November 2, 2020
        Topics: 3
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        Hi Autumn
        What you are saying is all true. I live Sweden and we have a huge public healthcare sector. At the hospital I work it’s exactly as you said. They want us to 100% loyal (even checking up on us so we don’t deal in any competitive businesses). But they treat us like sh.., not valuing our experience at all. For them a newly examined nurse equals one very experienced. And they think the business will work as smoothly and   flawlessly without the experienced nurses. That doesn’t add up. So I’m sorry to say that this is a global phenomena.

        Lily-Rose

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #406708
      Amy Myers
      Participant
      Registered On: February 11, 2019
      Topics: 15
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      Rebekka;

      I’m sorry to hear of your dilemma. I jumped before I was pushed several years ago, and started my own small business, not as lucrative as my previous job, but I certainly didn’t want to get pushed out. The previous company I’d worked for slowly went under and this one was going the same way, so I wasn’t going to get any amount of severance anyway. They were slowly getting rid of people, and it seems sometimes being a slightly older grey haired guy puts a target on your back. I know other people who have been through a similar situation, so it is real.

      We lived in Toronto, Ontario, and like SF it is a very expensive place to live, so when my wife had an opportunity a few years later to retire, we sold the city place and moved to the country. This is something we had been talking about for years, and in our case we looked forward to it. So we have a larger, cheaper place with lots of privacy now and love the friendlier and more laid back lifestyle here.

      Even though this is a much more conservative place, it is still surprisingly progressive. That was my fear about being out in “farm country”, a bit more religious and conservative, but it seems to be very accepting. Some months ago I walked into a store just behind a couple of pretty young women, quite openly holding hands! Just like you might see sometimes in the Big City.

      I cannot say what is the right for you too, but all I can say is I’ll give you a virtual HUG, and my wishes for a good outcome.

      Amy

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406443
      rebekka moore
      Participant
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 77
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      Has thanked: 406 times
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      Hi Tabitha,

      Thanks, and I know what you mean.  Where in the bay area are you?

      Maybe we are close to each other and don’t know it.

      I’m on the peninsula, mid-peninsula of the bay area.

    • #404596
      SteffieC
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      Registered On: October 24, 2015
      Topics: 1
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      Hugs!! Hoping things work out well for you and your SO.  I had to move for work four years ago. Still looking for some things. I move all the Steffie stuff myself rather than allowing the movers. It is not ideal but I like what I do and I like being paid so it all worked out ;to a segree(

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #404595
      Tabitha Tee
      Participant
      Registered On: July 30, 2020
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      Hi, Rebekka. We too like in the Bay Area and are considering leaving. It is far too expensive and the quality of life goes down every year. There is a lot I would miss,  but there are a lot of wonderful places out there as well. I hope everything works out for you.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #404586
      rebekka moore
      Participant
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
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      Thank you too, Bobbi!

      Chicago and surrounding area could be interesting.  I’ve heard great things about it but have never been.  Only passed through the airports!

      Love and hugs,

      Becka!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #404580
      rebekka moore
      Participant
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
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      Thank you Betty Lou.  Sorry to hear about your Son and hope his situation is better.

      We are considering potential places to move to should it come to that.  That is even more difficult to find jobs however.

      We’ll have to see how this all plays out.

      Love and hugs,

      Becka

    • #404102
      Bettylou Cox
      Participant
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
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      Sorry to hear the bad news, Rebekka;  my elder son, who had just turned 55, lost his job when the company closed because of COVID last March, and he was out of work for 6 months.  In addition to the age issue, companies don’t want to pay wages anywhere close to what you were earning before, and the youngsters will work cheaper.   We have lots of refugees from California moving to Texas, and you might like it here in Houston.  Living costs are much lower than in California, and we have no state income tax or personal property tax.  Even the job market is better than most places.  And good luck with whatever  you decide to do.

      Hugs,

      Bettylou

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    • #404082
      Bobbi
      Participant
      Registered On: September 13, 2018
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      I’m so sorry Bekka.  I see that happening more & more.
      If you are forced to relocate, I would recommend you  consider Chicago.
      We have 4 very distinct seasons, & it’s much cheaper to live here, than in Cali.
      Another plus, is that nobody here really gives a rat’s ass how you dress or identify as.  🙂

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    • #403236
      Robyn Devine
      Participant
      Registered On: October 24, 2020
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      Rebekka

      I’m so sorry for the struggle your going thru.  In years past, keeping employed was very difficult and always a stressful concern. I do get it.  It eats away at you for sure.

      Now I dont know your financial or job situation, but Arizona has become a destination for a lot of people exiting California.  cant blame anyone either.  Cost of living is astronomical.  Plus Arizona has been reasonably stable with its job market.  It’s something to look into.

      Like many have said…PLEASE..go ahead and vent all you wish!  No apologies needed.  Im sure a lot of us have or are going thru similar struggles. Dont be afraid to reach out either. 😀

      XO – Robyn  ❤️

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    • #403187
      rebekka moore
      Participant
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
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      Thank you Emily and Angela,

      No movement yet, we’ll know more soon I hope.  I am in my early 60’s.  Don’t “look it”, but obviously I’m older.

      All the jobs I apply for have the same lines that tilt towards wanting someone young and fresh out of school.

      Sigh

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    • #399798
      Angela Booth
      Participant
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 1
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      I cannot comment on your difficulties in moving but during this pandemic many of my friends have lost their jobs or been made redundant.

      You do not say how old you are but when I was forty I changed career as I was considered ‘Too Old’ for the line of work I was in. I did something totally different to my original career. I had to take a reduction of money at the start but  gained it back after a few years.

      What you and your partner have is years of knowledge and experience. Sit back and think of what you have achieved and any qualification or experience you have. Not only through paid employment but anything you have an interest and experience of. Use any contact you have to get a lead.

      Look at any job and see what they require. Be bold and adapt your C.V. to suit and make the introduction letter bold and tempting.

      If you receive a no thanks send them a mail back to ask ‘Are you sure?’ and if no explanation is given ask for one.

      Believe in yourself and you are never too old as there are plenty of employers who know that experience can outweigh youthful exuberance.

      I retired my last job at 60 and looked for something new to do and applied for jobs I wasn’t qualified for but my experience and doing what I suggested above, got to interviews and quickly got a job.

      I hope it works out for you.

       

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    • #399778
      Emily
      Participant
      Registered On: April 30, 2016
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      There is no other term for this situation Rebekka, it sucks! Don’t apologize for sharing your concerns. I believe that is what this site and these people are here for. It didn’t come across at all as venting. Just sharing a concern. Sometimes you just need to get things off your chest and this is a safe place to do that.
      Moving stinks. We sold our house and moved last December and one of my major concerns was keeping the moving company from discovering my girlie things? I had left everything in my dresser and shrink wrapped the entire thing, drawers and all, to keep it secure. They refused to move it that way saying it was too heavy. I had to take all the drawers out exposing all my underthings and worst of all, 2 pairs of silicone breast forms! While they stood there watching. I hope all works out for you.

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    • #399758
      rebekka moore
      Participant
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 77
      Replies: 846
      Has thanked: 406 times
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      Thank you Gen,

      My SO is aware (I believe) of the dressing I do.  I can’t believe she would be so naive not to notice.  It’s more the underwear and other shoes I have that are out of site, that make it difficult.  (would make it difficult) if we have to move.

      Love and hugs,

      R

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #399756
      rebekka moore
      Participant
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 77
      Replies: 846
      Has thanked: 406 times
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      Thank you, Karley!

    • #398583
      karley delaware
      Participant
      Registered On: October 23, 2017
      Topics: 9
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      Hi Rebekka………………….So sorry to read that…………..I’m an older girl too, and on thin ice.   It is so cruel that we are finally blossoming as girls then this looms on the horizen if not getting actually hit by that train.  ……Hugs………karley.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #398571
      Regine Rich
      Participant
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 11
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      Hugs, Rebekka, It’s an awful world we live in now, so many job just gone in the last year, I wish you and your SO all the luck in the world, Hoping things turn around for you.
      Regine

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #398568
      Rei Durden
      Participant
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 451
      Has thanked: 2814 times
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      I’m sorry to hear of your difficulties Rebekka I wish there was more I could do other than offer my support and friendship, vent all you need to.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #398555
      Genevïéve
      Participant
      Registered On: July 28, 2020
      Topics: 5
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      Hi Rebekka…

      Im so sorry for you… the world can be very cruel at times. 😪

      Vent all you want dear… it’s good to let it out instead of all bottled up inside.

      Is your wife aware of your dressing? If not, that will be a challenge getting Rebekka’s clothes etc… to a new place. I moved recently, and was able to discreetly transport Genevïeve’s belongings to my new digs. I am on my own, so no ‘prying eyes’. I have four big, fairly flat, plastic rollie containers… I put Gen’s stuff at the bottom with some sports jerseys laid on top. However, i do not have much Gen gear… which made it easier. If you have a lot to take, it may be a bit more dificult.

      Yes… it is very difficult for the mature person to find new emplyment. Been there, done that. Right now making minimum wage at a auto garage. Half, of what my previous job paid. However… it ‘is’ money.

      Are you in the US? If laid-off, would your wife collect any monies from an employment insurance program? If not, taking a ‘package’ might be more beneficial.

      I really don’t know what to say. The world is changing… and for the worst it seems. I almost had to live in my car this past winter… I got lucky and found the perfect place to live… Keep at it and ‘Lady Luck’ will shine on you also…

      Gen… 💋

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #398495
      Olivia Livin
      Participant
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 1461
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      Vent at will Rebekka, thats a lot to consider and contemplate…in a short period of time.

      It seems we are forever at the mercy of others.

      I wish the best and hope things turn out well for you.

      Olivia

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #398485
      Jo Jett
      Participant
      Registered On: May 8, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 105
      Has thanked: 2001 times
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      We live in crazy times… hoping for a good turnout to the situation you find yourself in… hugs…jo

      2 users thanked author for this post.
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