- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by
.
- Posts
When I was in my 20s I never had an issue being out there in my skirt, tights and modest makeup. Of course this was just before the internet seeped its way into our daily lives and I never worried how far that picture would go. Fast forward 20 years later and I feel somehow stuck in that closet again why? Fear of social media and there I admitted it; the 7 (including this one) social media sites I try to juggle partially control my happiness or is it my unhappiness?
When I had met my wife and moved to the ‘Burbs; I still brandished my favourite blue plaid skirt purchased in drab at Honest Ed’s (It was the hugest thrift dept store in Toronto.) and she accepted it around the house. I was fine with that and then the babies started coming and she told me it was time to wear it in private. That sucked but I was in love and her wish was my command.
I’m married with 3 children (the youngest being 14) whom the wife and I had always told them; whether they chose to be straight or gay it wouldn’t matter and we would love them just the same. So why can’t that apply to me and my skirt?
I am in the spotlight (sort of) at times and now that fear controls me. I ask myself why, why do I care what a bunch of other artists think?
Reading the other girls’ profiles, forums and articles have inspired me. I know I may not wear full armour (I just can’t do the bra, sorry girls but that’s a different story) but I write this knowing that yes I do talk the walk and I am ready to once again walk the talk. (Maybe I’m just writing this for myself so I can hear and see it aloud.)
“No one cares what you wear they only care if you are a decent person” It’s my mantra (but it may not apply to you depending where you live so I have learned here on CDH) and for the mostest part it is true.
I sit here still awaiting the replacement of that blue plaid skirt from Amazon wondering who the hell comes back out during winter? Maybe I will need those mid-calf slouch boots after all. 😉
Hugs to all – Terrisa
hello Terrisa, its society that cant adjust to us x dressers. we are all human no matter what we do or are. woman x dress as men and nothing is said about it. y cant we dress as females and be happy and free with our self s. don’t let social media stop you from x dressing. i have found this site to be safe and i can post pics of my self dressed up. my wife knows and lets me dress up but she don’t want to see me but she has. i don’t hide it from her no more. i dress up when 2 adult kids are not home and be free and feminine. just wish i could come out of the closet and go shopping and walk around out side. but society is not ready for it so to speak. we have woman marring woman, men marring men, then there is x dressers. there is groups that are well known around the world and people don’t realize or cant adjust to the x dressing world. that’s OK with you not wearing a bra, i wear panties ,pad and bra most of the time, then there is times i under dress with out make up. then there are times i dress up all the way and be feminine. love you post enjoy and be safe.
Hi Terrisa,
That fear you are feeling is so Normal. Going out is a big step. I have been out Three times now. Going out this weekend in another City and I feel the butterflies already but I know I really want to do it and my thought Process is running wild. As you mentioned Social Media and running in to some one I might know and other things to many to mention. But as you said No body seems to really care what any one wears these days as long as you are a decent person. And remember we live in Canada where a lot of our rights are protected Including presenting as we like. I was in Toronto this summer dressed and no body gave me second look. Of course always remember Feeling safe is Important no matter where you go But you can do this and people don’t care as much as we think .
Hugs,
Amanada
Thanks Girls,
I actually feel really super excited about it like when I did the Drop Zone at Wonderland (kinda of like the Drop of Doom at Six Flags). I hate heights as much as I hate unnecessary ridicule and I realize it is the falsely anticipated negativity I feel that is creating my fear. We are our worst enemies when it comes to fear of the unknown and it makes easier to know that you are not alone.
Laura Smith whom wrote the Flying En Femme article; that is courage, that is empowering and one I read believing in my self and my desire to wear whatever I want. My mantra is real and speaks truth especially in Toronto where 20 some odd years ago I donned my femme clothes and went to my favourite bar without issue, without grief.
This year I made an acquaintance in Toronto whom is a crossdresser and she seemed like it was no big deal and gave me her man’s name with no issue and we shook hands. You’re right Amanda we do live in Canada and we have the right to wear what we want without fear of prosecution. Just not in the ‘Sauga but now that sounds like a dare. See you in Streets at highnoon for a showdown lol
Lucinda, why is it our generation and the ones before us seem to have the most fear? Was it the way we were brought up? The social stigmatisms of the time? Could we once again be the ones that rebel and change our own perceptions and thus changing ours? You live in NY how could you feel that you couldn’t get away with an outting? lol
Steph, thank you and I stand by my word, it’s easier to plunge into the unknown when you are with someone. The skirt I ordered on Amazon means something to me, a full circle of sorts just wish it wasn’t taking so long. Maybe I should buy a sewing machine and make my own lol
Well Ladies time for work, thanks for your support by reading. Hugs – Terrisa
Ps Lady V you are inspiring too.
i have read other post on same sex marriage, we have come a long way but now its time for society to realize we x dressers are here also. we x dress to show our feminine side not to harm any one, just to show our femininity side of our self s. what is so wrong with wearing female clothing? woman wear manly clothing all the time and nothing is said about it. but when men wear female clothing its a big deal. for me x dressing makes me a better person and gives me the freedom of male hood and less depression and stress with out the medication. the feel of nylons and dress are great feeling. the smell of perfume on me is a real great feeling of being feminine. i love to dress up from head to toe and be free and pretty. i feel normal dressing up in female cloths more then male cloths its like i should be wearing female clothing and nothing but female clothing. maybe one day society will come to terms with x dressers and let us be x dressers. even tho there is support groups out there and every one knows of them. is it fear or the way we were brought up is the question? but for me its not how we were brought up its society that is the trouble with excepting x dressers. yes i live in NY how can i get way for a outing? tough question to ask. hard to dress up to go to a meeting and not get caught by wife or neighbor as i am going out dressed up to a meeting. yes i could go out but would have to dress up in car or bath room before i get to meeting as in dressed up to this meeting for x dressers. Terrisa hope i answered your question , you have great words. so does every one else. have a great night. Lucinda
Hi Terrisa,
Yes definitely our up bringing and our generation has something to do with our fears. As Children Boys were Boys and girls were Girls. And if you expressed any thing else you were labelled a Sissy. Look at the young people to day. They learn very young we are all different. Even in our Schools they learn this When they are Young. Did you ever think we would ever see Same Sex Marriage ? Wow times have really Changed. ( For the better ) But our anxiety can also come from different Sources. like Going out dressed as a Female is not something we do all the time So the butterflies can sometimes over whelm us. I try to think of Other times I needed Courage in my life and how it worked out Positively. You are brave. you are strong. and you are able.
Amanda
- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments