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My wife knows I cd. We have had the talk. Our relationship is strong. Sex life hasn’t changed. But I don’t dress enfemme for the bedroom.
I dye my hair medium brown. She will often dye it for me.
We often go for pedicures together. And ill often paint my finger nails, as the mood takes me.
Occasionally I’ll wear some makeup. Pantyhose and tights in winter. And panties.
She knows about my makeup, and she raids my nailpolish time to time. She also once found my stash of cothes.
She has never seen me fully dressed. Actually I’m not sure I want her to. I’m not frightened to do so. I really don’t want to. So I classify myself as a private dresser. (For now anyways.)
How about you. Are you a private or public dresser. Or your a fearful private dresser, or perhaps a wishful public dresser?
An interesting typo in the title…!
I generally dress in private, but have certainly been out in public. I am very circumspect as to where I will go out in public since I am not ‘out’ yet to friends and family. When the time is right, I will do that, just not yet. So, locally, I have to be careful; away from home, much less so.
I love being out and about when dressed – it feels right and just a little exhilarating.
The first time I was truly out in public in a busy place, I was with someone else and that made it much easier, so, where possible, I’d recommend doing just that.Isabel x
Right now, I’m private. I really want to get out this year (new year’s resolution) but there’s some other factors around that like telling wife etc. Not being able to drive also makes it challenging to go far away from my neighbourhood easily. Sure I’m happy being private right now but one day I’ll walk up to Gregg’s en femme hehe
Love Rachel
My wife knows, and I frequently dress when I work from home, on days when our son is taking classes elsewhere. I’m not out to him as the wife isn’t ready for that, but he suspects, I think, based on the questing he asks his mother. She often, what I would say, over-answers, but that’s a different thread.
I’ve been out and about on rare occasions in this covid ravaged world. My neighbors may well have seen me, whether they knew it was me I don’t know… or care. I don’t figure i answer to them.
At work, I wear lip stick that matches my lip color, but is glossy; I pick my brows into a more or less feminine shape and wear color on them; I wear clear mascara; i wear earrings of various descriptions, including studs with stones, pearls,etc and gold hoops, as well as multiple rings on my hands, clear nail polish, and am writing on growing them out but it’s winter so they break. I’m not out there, but I’m not entirely Mr Drabs either (full underdress, of course).
Bridgette vS
i totally public. i can’t sit around the house dressed, well i can but thats no fun. nobody in my family or friends know i dress. i have been going out in public for about 5 years now. i’m talking about 20 hours or more a week. its great. i buy clothes to show them off, not to just look in the mirror and say that looks nice. if i had a wife and she knew i was a cd i’d probably talk her into going out in public with me. i’m sure we would have a great time. girls like to have girl time with other girls. they like it when you understand about womens clothes, shoes and other womanly things. i think it would bring you much closer.
Hi Mary Jane,
My wife knows about my C/D ing and I worked hard to stay in her boundaries and not dress in front of her or bring it to the bedroom.
Even with all of that it killed our intimacy.so now I am starting to dress at home more and I actually went out twice in public this year ,what a wonderful experience.
Hugs Patty
I’m private and dress primarily indoors. Besides all of you my SO is the only one I’ve told. As for dressing around her…I don’t see it ever happening beyond basic and conservative panties. I informed her where my stash is located but I do not think she has ever looked. If she does, so be it and maybe it would be for the best if she did. It might allow for one more door to be broken down. But don’t actually break my closet door because I still need somewhere to hide my stuff. I can still dream though.
I guess I am a hybrid of the 2. My wife knows but doesn’t support it, or care to participate. I go out of the house fully dressed 3-4 times a week. I dress at home alone to some degree every day. Tough question for me to answer definitively.
Hi, Mary Jane… I’m certainly a public dresser. I have even come out to a male friend last weekend and he was happy for me to tell him and we will have dinner together with his wife and mine. His wife works with our city’s leading trans surgeon! Lucky me!
Today I’m off to the Cosmetic Clinic as Polly… I changed my name with them two weeks ago. Stupid going in to them under my drab name! So, yes… I’m a public dresser
Hugs Polly
Private to fearful private for me right now – but something that I’m looking to change if I can find the courage and skill.
I desperately don’t want to get ‘clocked,’ if I was I feel like I would have a panic attack or maybe some kind of heart failure ….. Yes, ridiculous I know but….I’ve been thinking that now is the right time of year (here in the NE U.S.) because I could wear a long coat with my over the calf high heeled boots and that would cover us a great many failings with respect to my body shape and unperfected feminine mannerisms. Strangely, I’m not as concerned with my makeup – I recently bought a pair of girly framed prescription glasses (I have horrible vision) and I really like how feminine I look in those on good makeup and hair days. So you’d think going out in public would be easy, but here we are…… Send me some courage please.
Thanks for sharing. Spending time here at CDH, will definitely help with building up your courage!
It is so cool that you got glasses. Getting my scrip in some cute frames is on my todo list! There are so many cute styles and colors, it must have been hard to decide!
Oh, and welcome to CDH! Enjoy your time here!!
Hugs, Denise
Hi Mary Jane.
being single, grace is about every minute I’m not working…I go out a lot, mostly shopping or just touring the town…I’m sorry but I go to a lot of trouble to TRY to look nice….I couldn’t just sit at home and ” waste” it…..life is a blink, and I’m determined that this girl is never going to die wondering!!!….
I know so many girls here who for one reason or another, do not get the opportunity to live their dream very often…..but if/ when you can…..go for it my darlings!!!
apprehensive?…no good at make up???…it’s never been easier…make up your eyes, put on a mask and your ” glad rags”….and get out there…. even if it is down to the end of the road and back…..the buzz is a wow!!
Love you,
Grace xx
Hello Ladies,
I guess you would call me a private dresser because I live in the Bible Belt of the US and I would probably be stoned if I went out dressed. I have never gone out fully dressed en-femme. In my apartment I am always completely dressed 24/7 with Bra, panties, half slip, stockings, dress or skirt and top, earrings and perfume. I go out underdressed. I do have looooong hair 20″+. I use to wear it in a high pony tail but since my SO left it is now very difficult to put my hair in a ponytail because of a bad shoulder that I have.
Kathleen
I am private for sure. I have gone out in public but nowhere around very many people and definitely not close to other people. My SO knows but does not participate nor want to see it so I really have to keep it to myself. She also does not want me to go out. The few times I have are when she is not around. She is okay with panties and stockings and have seen me in those. I wear panties most days. So like many here I sound like a confused privates crossdresser
Holly 🤪
I share Pamela’s opinion: It just doesn’t feel right to get all Dressed, then do nothing. True, there aren’t many places to go currently, but I get a lot of shopping done…and I have an overflowing closet to prove it. My wife has met Bettylou (after The Talk), and accepts her, albeit reluctantly.
Bettylou darling….
how could your wife not accept you….with Ziggy on your shoulder…..giving her the ” look”?…
( 🎶Bright eyes, burning like fire🎶)
haha
grace xxxxx
Grace, Dearest
She has a real conflict of interest gong on. I was helping her cull her closet this morning, by trying on her tops/dresses (we’re now the same size). Toward the end, I tried on an ankle-length, pink chiffon dress, and she remarked on how nice I looked in it. And two minutes later, said she thought my desire to wear women’s clothes was “sick”. She insists that what I do is “wrong”, but still goes out with Bettylou (we have a movie date this Friday). What can I say?
Hugs,
BettylouBunnymom…
pink chiffon….mmm..
you are not sick, you are wonderful, enjoy your movie, just make sure she buys the popcorn!!
Thank you, Grace; I will.
Hugs,
Bettylou
Hi Mary, I’m a recent public dresser. I currently have no SO so no restrictions there. Im out at work and plan to do all my morning shifts en femme.
I live above a shop and most of the woman that work in it know. Only one doesn’t. I’m telling her next week as she’s got a tendency to put things online and I want to know if it’s her if she does so I’m delaying telling her. Unfortunately she does have to know as I have to go though the shop to leave.
Love Tish
Tish….
Leaving through the shop, dressed, made up and giving her a wink……may just tip her off!!!
Heehee, grace …..love you !!!
I was a private dresser for 50 years, it was beaten into me as a child that it was wrong and so I hid it, and got very good at hiding it to protect myself.
Then my dysphoria got so bad I didn’t want to live, so I figured I had nothing to lose by coming out, as I was about to lose everything anyway. I haven’t worn any mens clothing for over 6 months now, so pretty public now.
Sharon….
how bloody marvellous you have turned it around….go girl !!!
Grace ❤️❤️
I was a private person for a long time. But once I went out into the public and saw that I had nothing to fear, I became a girl who go’s out in public whenever I want to. I don’t flaunt my femininity, but I do make sure that I look as passable as I possibly can. I try to blend in with the flow so I don’t look out of place Its so much better being out in public presenting myself as a woman than hiding in a house or a apartment and I wish that I hadn’t waited as long as I did before leaving the security of my house. As the saying goes
You have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Like so many others, I was very private for the vast majority of my life, but in the last 2 or 3 years I have become much more open, and have gone out en femme many times now. My wife always knew about my fondness for wearing women’s lingerie, but also for so many years I longed to go further.
My wife has seen me dressed, and actually helps with my dressing at times.
Amy
Hello ladies,
Id have to say more private but I am slowly venturing out more and more. In saying that I do wear a lot of women’s clothes when out in drab at times. My wife thinks I’m a little ballsy when I’ll wear women’s jeans, sweater and my low heeled ankle boots with a touch of mascara and eye shadow while I’m out!
AshleyI would consider myself a public crossdresser, in that I have been out in public once, and fully intend to go again. My wife knows and is fully supportive.
I voted private but I have been out in public once away from home and stayed dressed for two wonderful days. Since the pandemic started we rarely go anywhere due to my wife’s compromised immune system from chemo. Getting our first vaccine shot today 2/4 and hopefully after the second dose we can exercise a little more freedom and plan a getaway. I haven’t been out full enfemme locally and probably won’t. When we do go out I am wearing my skinny jeans, blouse and booties sometimes included are mascara and jewelry. I always wear panties and in the evening it’s my girly lounge wear or pjs. About once a week week I go all out and wear my breast forms, wig and full makeup. I just love to see Stephanie looking back from the mirror…. Stephanie
I picked private.
When I came out to my wife, she was very supportive and she has given me alot of flexibility and support since. However, my wife made one thing clear and that is I dress in the privacy of our home.
Yes, on a few occassions in the past I would venture out (like picking her up at university after her evening class) dressed up, but for the most part I want to respect the boundaries she laid out as I feel it is a 2 way street, she has given me alot of leeway in dressing up and buying clothing (which has been alot), so I want to abide by her rules of only dressing up in the house.
If I could, I would go public, but right now private only.
Hi Mary Jane
This is an interesting question. I guess many of us start private and then some of us go public. I began cross dressing in private but very soon became aware that I wanted to present myself as a woman in public. So I dress at home in private when SO is out, if she is away overnight I dress at home but go out into the local neighbourhood – shopping, eating out (all pre covid). If I went away overnight I would usually take some of HildaRuths clothes etc with me so that I could go out for shopping and a meal en femme. Soon I will be living on my own and I expect to be able to spend much more time being and becoming HildaRuth both at home and in public. Like some others have written I can’t really see the point in getting all dressed up and just staying in doors. And I’ve found that when I’m out and about locally there aren’t any problems e.g. the lady who cleans the stairs in the apartment block just says, “Good morning dear” when we pass on the stairs and when I first met my neighbour in the adjacent flat dressed as HildaRuth she recognised that it was me i.e. the person she had known as David and she said, “Oh I do like your hair. What do you like to be called?”
So my experience is that if you do ‘go public’ the chances are that you will be welcomed. I do hope that is true for you.
Love
HildaRuth 💋💋Ran across this post and figured it’s time for me to jump in. I’m private with my dressing as of now, but hoping one day I will have the courage to go out in public. Being Im a pretty sensitive person, it’s hard to get past the though that someone may laugh or make jokes or worse. I guess I just need to find that safe space where I am around like minded people. My SO doesn’t know as they would not approve, which also creates an issue in that I may run into somebody I know and complicate things further. But I envision myself going out in public dressed from head to toe, head held high, confident and beautiful. Hoping one day sooner than later that vision will become a reality, but until then, all (well most) of my feminine energy will be channeled in private when it comes to dressing.
-K
Yeah, private. I’ve only been away from the front door maybe 2 1/2 times, and each time I was terrified, but, well, you know, still a little thrilled. Mostly I know to do it right, takes a lot of practice -dressing, hair, make-up, walking, expression, attitude…and I fully accept I’m not even close. “Mommy, is that a cross-dresser?” “No, darling, it’s just a man in a dress, most cross-dressers have at least some sense of style.”
today I voted “public”, if asked the same question 15 years ago, I would have a “fit” with the thought of going out in public. A good makeover changed that and today after all efforts to try to look like a real female, I feel obliged to go out in public and love it! Wife knows, but I only dress when she is away visiting her family not knowing excactly her reaction to see me dressed (in spite she has seen some pictures of “Helene”). This leaves my public appearence to four or five long periods per year, but wow what a lovely feeling when going out for a good meal in a restaurant and being treated “madame” or a shop assistant suggesting me to go to the ladies fitting room to try on what I intend to buy!
My form of dressing is a little different, and I do it all the time now. So I kind of “hide in plain sight”.
I wear woman’s jeans exclusively. Sometimes capri length. My legs are always smooth. I wear woman’s shoes, flats/loafer style or booties (short boots), panties and camisole under my guy shirts. More often now a bra and that is how I go out every day. (except to work, although I’m building up to that, and we can’t/don’t go to the office anyway).
Sometimes it is more obvious than others. My SO certainly knows (and does not like it), but I do it anyway. My kids, young adults, have not said anything.
So there it is!
Love and hugs,
RebeckaI am still in the closet so while I do venture out occasionally I am primarily a private crossdresser. Hopefully it will change one day.
anne
Oh, Mary Jane…
It breaks my heart that so many are only private dressers because their wives don’t approve! I know it’s difficult for SOs to understand but I have the support of an extraordinary woman.
I have been a public dresser for only a few months but in doing so have gone from strength to strength as has my SO!If only the other SOs could see the joy in their partner’s faces then all would be well in the world and we could conquer the heights together!
Climb high Sisters xxx Polly
I checked “Private” as while I have been out in public, those were rare and long in between. My objective is to be more public and have found that with each transformation (make-up, etc.) session, I grow more confident. I desperately want to become CD on a full time basis, but have to take baby steps until that elusive 100% (or whatever) confidence level is achieved.
Cheers!
I usually stay in the house but recently went to the bank dressed up. Hope to go out more soon.
Well done on going to the bank Chloe
I’ve found that actually in every day life most people don’t take that much notice of those around them and as far as most shops or cafes or restaurants are concerned a cross dresser’s money is a good as anybody else’s and I’ve found that most assistants/waiters/waitresses aren’t phased and are as polite and helpful to me cross dressed as to anyone else. The staff who serve in M&S both male and female have always been patrticularly helpful.
HildaRuth💋💋
I’d like to say Public… But….
I’ve been out in public a few times… But it’s now clearly a trigger for my dearest. So for now, it’s at home when she’s not around and only to the local CD club (private), when they open again.
Hopefully we’ll find a better balance, but until we have a better set of understandings, I’m not going to trigger her if I don’t have to, in hope of a better outcome.
With Covid and lockdowns, perhaps the time and effort, will allow a better solution before we actually can do anything, but I’m not holding my breath.
I do know that this is a temporary state (even if measured in months), and without Progress something will give. Hopefully it won’t be my sanity. You girls here have been so instrumental in preserving what little I have left, it’d be a shame for it to be lost. Thanks!
-Molly
Hi Mary Jane definitely private locked in the closet.
Sarah xx
Hi Mary Jane
No room for me in the closet – it’s stuffed to bursting with all my clothes, shoes, bags, coats and makeup!
I chose public, although, like so many, my SO doesn’t approve – yet she is supportive, up to a point.
You see, CDing doesn’t just bring a smile to my face, it brings a smile and a boost of confidence and who knows what other positive benefits to my whole being.
There’s simply nothing like being your true, authentic, unadulterated self as full on as you can go.
I’ve spent a large portion of my life closeted, so it’s a great vantage point before vs after.
I empathise completely with all the closeted gals – there’s a lot of positives to find in that situation, and going out is a choice that not everyone wants to take, just like full transitioning isn’t for everyone.
Transitioning isn’t for me – I can’t even bring myself to tuck – but the trans girls I’ve met have all been lovely, as they seem to have a really serene place inside, which shines out. It clearly suits the people who choose that path.
The simple pleasure of being able to meet friends like the lovely HildaRuth, and just enjoy time in the sunshine enjoying a coffee and a chat, fully femme, with no concerns about the thoughts of others on that subject, just the freedom to be ourselves, together is beyond price to me. CDing is great, CDing with others is like another planet.
I wouldn’t live my entire life like that because it would make my wife unhappy – but I will not constrain myself at the cost of my own happiness – it’s a compromise, and a compromise that pays tangible dividends because some of it goes my way.
Plus I get to go to Brighton once a month, outside of this horrible virus…
Love Laura.
Just to reiterate what Laura said. It was a very positive experience meeting up with another gal in public both dressed. Laura was charming and open and we became friends almost immediately. Am really looking forward to seeing Laura again post Covid both an femme, relaxed and having quality girl time.
Love and hugs as always
HildaRuth 💋💋
Use to be private but now more Public soon already at work they all know or some know that wear panties and bra. Matter of time that will start wearing more fem clothes.
I was private for many years. I made a couple of semi-public outings, then 11 years ago had a makeover and a very public outing. I didn’t think I’d be able to do it again, and I wanted “my time in the sun.”
After that I went semi-private (I would go to CD events at someone’s home). But there were a some public outings too. Trips to Dress Barn, or eating out at a diner. About a year into this my friend was putting on a show with CD’ers as stages of life of a girl growing up. I joined in the show.
I’ve since had a lot of public outings. I’ve been into New York City to see Broadway shows, I’ve gone to museums, I’ve driven long distances, even having to get an alternator replaced 500 miles from home. Almost 2 years ago I started taking walks through my neighborhood en femme on weekends. Since last March that has been almost every day. (Last Halloween I went for a walk in a poodle skirt with petticoats, white top and white sneakers, and candy corn nails!) I’ve gone shopping locally to drug stores and supermarkets. I’ve picked up food from restaurants to take home. I’ve gone to the beach in a 1 piece suit. I got into a car accident when someone turned in front of me (fortunately only minor bruises from the exploding airbag). I’ve had to go to back to the supermarket to make complaints a couple of times.
Although my public outings will probably decrease when COVID-19 restrictions are lifted, I’m not going back to private-only.
Very much in the closet unfortunately but longing to get out!
I dress everyday at home. Usually it’s in attire that is too sexy to wear out. It’s fun, exciting and gives me a thrill and rush. When I go out I’ll wear something a bit less sexy, most of the time anyway. A few times I have worn the to sexy to wear out outfits. A crazy urge and desire came over me.
Here is what I did, back then I was a drunk. Booze was my courage and when I start to sobered up. I was at some public place dressed and had to walk home dressed.
After a few or more times of doing this. I realized that I didn’t need the booze anymore.
Some I remember and some I don’t
Maybe try getting a buzz going, cause if I was there. You would go going out dressed with me. I could be your booze of encouragement.
Hippie
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