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  • #573467
    Bridgette VonSmirff
    Participant
    Registered On: October 18, 2020
    Topics: 49
    Replies: 1381
    Has thanked: 19861 times
    Been thanked: 5727 times

    I’m still going through some issues and lots of stress and anxiety. My supportive spouse has decided that her husband is dieing in front of her, being killed by Bridgette. So I won’t see Bridgette for a while, as I need to mend fences and show her I’m still me, whatever that means. I’ll still check in here some but maybe not as much. I’ll respond to messages and those who have my email or phone. I don’t know how long it’ll be before I can see Bridgette again, and now I’m not sure I’ll go to keystone or not either. I hope to, but…I dunno.

    I’m still trying to get in to see a counselor, but they’re too few in number here for the people waiting to see them. High demand, insufficient supply. Hopefully that won’t be long delayed. This is a rough day.

    Bridgette

Viewing 17 reply threads
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    • #573857
      Leah
      Baroness
      Registered On: June 13, 2018
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 305
      Has thanked: 4857 times
      Been thanked: 1193 times

      as you know, your desire/need to dress will never go away.  So hopefully you both can find a happy medium for your dressing

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #573860
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1381
        Has thanked: 19861 times
        Been thanked: 5727 times

        Her POV is that she wants to see Wil, her husband, intact and unchanged. She says she doesn’t mind Bridgette, but that Bridgette needs to stay completely separate. I have a very strong tendency to blend the two together, since in my POV I’m only one person. Her perception is that we’re two different people. I suppose it’s how she deals with it. I’ve now got an appointment to see a counselor, and am hoping that it’ll help. I think though that she may need that too, and perhaps both of us together, who knows? I don’t want to be split in two.

        Bridgette

        6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573838
      Katie Plowright
      Lady
      Registered On: October 15, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 149
      Has thanked: 647 times
      Been thanked: 812 times

      Bridgette, good luck with the fences. Only just come out of a protracted period, I know first hand of the conflict in both your lives. Mine mended itself with time, hope and pray you both find the same result. Katie 💋

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573757
      PrincessByDawn
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 4, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 106
      Has thanked: 338 times
      Been thanked: 461 times

      Hey Bridgette,

      Take care of your family and relationships – they are very crucial for our innate happiness. Without a functional family / relationship, no amount of self-expression will fulfill the left-over void. I am sure, with time, both of you will be able to find a nice balance.

      Best of luck!

      -Sumona

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573756
      Regine Kelly
      Lady
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 44
      Replies: 1471
      Has thanked: 20367 times
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      I am so sorry, Bridgette, I hope you can mend all the fences, and know we are always here for you
      Hugs, Regi👸💖

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573680
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 39
      Replies: 754
      Has thanked: 1775 times
      Been thanked: 3645 times

      Bridgette, you do what you need to for yourself and your wife. Your relationship is most important for you at this moment. If you can dress in private and not in front of her for a time and that is enough for you good for you.

      Anytime you need to we are all here to listen or give our own advice, and if you want to add your own advice it would be also welcome. Take care . . .Cassie

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573677
      Requal Joanne
      Lady
      Registered On: December 15, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 387
      Has thanked: 386 times
      Been thanked: 1340 times

      Bridgette.   I fully understand what you are experiencing.   Requal does not get to appear as often as she would like for the same reasons that you have explained.  I suppose that Requal is lucky in some sense in that my wife will tolerate her appearance for short periods.

      As stated in previous posts, we are here to support and encourage each other through our good and difficult times.

      Requal salutes CHD.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573672
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 2861
      Has thanked: 41144 times
      Been thanked: 10435 times

      Hi Bridigette you know girl we are all here for you and good luck with sorting things out big hugs and lots of 💋💋💋💋.

      Stephanie

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573663
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 367
      Has thanked: 8869 times
      Been thanked: 1587 times

      Hi Bridgette

      Take your time, and sort it out together.

      CDH will be here when you are ready.

      Love and hugs,

      Lara

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573620
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 90
      Replies: 4681
      Has thanked: 6952 times
      Been thanked: 11846 times

      Hi Bridgette,

      Good luck mending the fences.  Hope things work out for the better.

      Alice

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573606
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
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      Oh my Bridgette do hope things work out for the best. Know have alot support here at CDH. But you right to pull back some a marriage is most important thing.  Like always been saying you know the light will be on here when ready to come back.

      Hugs and peace

      Donna

    • #573571
      Sylvia
      Lady
      Registered On: October 10, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 605
      Has thanked: 14720 times
      Been thanked: 2660 times

      Dear Bridgette ,

      We will always be here for you !

      Love Sylvia.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573544
      Charlene Victoria
      Lady
      Registered On: November 29, 2016
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 244
      Has thanked: 1469 times
      Been thanked: 1469 times

      Bridgette, these changes do happen. And it hurts.

      In June of 2020 I came out fully to my wife. She did know before we married but I kept the depth of my femme self deeply closetted. When I finally did tell her all her response overwhelmed me. I wrote several forum post and at least 2 articles here at CDH about my experience.

      Her main reaction was the most exquisite question I believe I was ever asked. “OK, well how can I help you feel more like a woman?” Really!? Certainly “unexpected”, is putting it mildly.

      I had about 2 months of dressing freedom. I can’t think of an adjective to appropriately describe that time. However as time went on I noticed she became more sullen with me.

      Why? My feminine was “bleeding” over into my masculine. I began being too feminine during the time she needed me masculine.

      I sensed this and told her I would give up my feminine self expression. She was visibly relieved and genuinely thankful.

      I think just as we “need” our feminine time, so our wives [most of them I am assuming] need their man, sans our feminine self. This man and his particular style of masculine is who they married. That our style of masculine may have a fair amount of our femininity influencing it makes no matter to them.   It is the masculine they know and love us for. Mix in any more femininity and their balance is upset.  And to share that man with another woman, even if that woman is us, is very difficult for many woman.

      Oh, BTW I was told that by a wife of a CDH member, [herself a member] both of whom contributed to the forums quite regularly. I’ve noticed that is no longer the case.

      Accepting / supporting wives migrating to a less than accepting / supportive position after a certain amount of time I suspect is not too unusual. And that dear sister makes our balancing act so much more difficult, does it not?

      “Letting your inner woman out” is so wonderfully amazing, yet is so often fraught with difficulty and heartbreak. Many of us know that hurt from personal experience. Thus we appreciate your hurt much more deeply.

      Hugs,

      Charlene.

      • #573644
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1381
        Has thanked: 19861 times
        Been thanked: 5727 times

        Everything you wrote rings so true. I was blending them to much for her. She indeed sees two different people, whereas I (and probably all of us are similar) only see me, myself, one single indivisible person. Now I feel as if I’m being asked to actually BE two different people. Hopefully that doesn’t do any damage…

        Thanks to all for the support!

        Bridgette

    • #573521
      Clara Cross
      Lady
      Registered On: December 7, 2020
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 561
      Has thanked: 1794 times
      Been thanked: 2677 times

      My heart goes out to you Bridgette.  Take all the time you need. I have no doubt you’ll work this out and both you and your bride will be stronger for it.

      ❤️C

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573517
      Dawn Judson
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 26, 2017
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 101
      Has thanked: 270 times
      Been thanked: 524 times

      I know what you’re going through, Bridgette. Prayers.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573513
      Katie Time
      Lady
      Registered On: April 3, 2021
      Topics: 37
      Replies: 290
      Has thanked: 2087 times
      Been thanked: 1733 times

      Hugs honey💕

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573491
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 1021
      Has thanked: 1982 times
      Been thanked: 3928 times

      Good luck with everything hon. I hope things get better for you sooner than later.

      Hugs, Liara

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573472
      Raquel Smith
      Lady
      Registered On: August 26, 2021
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 604
      Has thanked: 1865 times
      Been thanked: 1938 times

      Bridgette,

      We’ll be here waiting for you when and if you return.

      Much love,

      Raquel

    • #573469
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      Oh dear…

      So sorry to hear of your problems honey….I hope you can work it out with your wife….. your stories about going out together have been lovely…and inspiring.

      Obviously your marriage must come first…… but I’m sure you know that there are people here for you….you have been a rock on cdh for so many….

      Biggest huggs, grace xx

      • #573641
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1381
        Has thanked: 19861 times
        Been thanked: 5727 times

        Knowing I have solid support here is a tremendous help to me, and I deeply appreciate it. I won’t be gone, but just not quite as active.

        Bridgette

        5 users thanked author for this post.
        • #573674
          Anonymous
          Topics: 0
          Replies: 0
          Has thanked: 0 times
          Been thanked: 0 times

          Bridgette whenever can make it in even for little bit be nice. Know for myself have been kinda absent some what or not on as much. But with my surgeries going on and started back to work been little crazy.

          Do hope for the best for you Bridgette get things straighten out. Maybe wife and yourself take another get away somewhere.  As Husband and wife. Another honeymoon.

          Hugs
          Donna

          2 users thanked author for this post.
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