- November 8, 2021 at 10:08 am #573467Bridgette VonSmirffParticipantRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 49Replies: 1381Has thanked: 19861 timesBeen thanked: 5727 times
I’m still going through some issues and lots of stress and anxiety. My supportive spouse has decided that her husband is dieing in front of her, being killed by Bridgette. So I won’t see Bridgette for a while, as I need to mend fences and show her I’m still me, whatever that means. I’ll still check in here some but maybe not as much. I’ll respond to messages and those who have my email or phone. I don’t know how long it’ll be before I can see Bridgette again, and now I’m not sure I’ll go to keystone or not either. I hope to, but…I dunno.
I’m still trying to get in to see a counselor, but they’re too few in number here for the people waiting to see them. High demand, insufficient supply. Hopefully that won’t be long delayed. This is a rough day.
Total of 33 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- November 9, 2021 at 7:08 am #573857LeahBaronessRegistered On: June 13, 2018Topics: 3Replies: 305Has thanked: 4857 timesBeen thanked: 1193 times
- November 9, 2021 at 7:20 am #573860Bridgette VonSmirffLadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 49Replies: 1381Has thanked: 19861 timesBeen thanked: 5727 times
Her POV is that she wants to see Wil, her husband, intact and unchanged. She says she doesn’t mind Bridgette, but that Bridgette needs to stay completely separate. I have a very strong tendency to blend the two together, since in my POV I’m only one person. Her perception is that we’re two different people. I suppose it’s how she deals with it. I’ve now got an appointment to see a counselor, and am hoping that it’ll help. I think though that she may need that too, and perhaps both of us together, who knows? I don’t want to be split in two.
- November 9, 2021 at 6:03 am #573838Katie PlowrightLadyRegistered On: October 15, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 149Has thanked: 647 timesBeen thanked: 812 times
Bridgette, good luck with the fences. Only just come out of a protracted period, I know first hand of the conflict in both your lives. Mine mended itself with time, hope and pray you both find the same result. Katie 💋
- November 9, 2021 at 2:18 am #573757PrincessByDawnDuchessRegistered On: April 4, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 106Has thanked: 338 timesBeen thanked: 461 times
Take care of your family and relationships – they are very crucial for our innate happiness. Without a functional family / relationship, no amount of self-expression will fulfill the left-over void. I am sure, with time, both of you will be able to find a nice balance.
Best of luck!
- November 9, 2021 at 7:13 am #573858
- November 9, 2021 at 1:59 am #573756Regine KellyLadyRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 44Replies: 1471Has thanked: 20367 timesBeen thanked: 7020 times
- November 8, 2021 at 7:07 pm #573680Cassie JaysonDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 39Replies: 754Has thanked: 1775 timesBeen thanked: 3645 times
Bridgette, you do what you need to for yourself and your wife. Your relationship is most important for you at this moment. If you can dress in private and not in front of her for a time and that is enough for you good for you.
Anytime you need to we are all here to listen or give our own advice, and if you want to add your own advice it would be also welcome. Take care . . .Cassie
- November 8, 2021 at 6:58 pm #573677Requal JoanneLadyRegistered On: December 15, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 387Has thanked: 386 timesBeen thanked: 1340 times
Bridgette. I fully understand what you are experiencing. Requal does not get to appear as often as she would like for the same reasons that you have explained. I suppose that Requal is lucky in some sense in that my wife will tolerate her appearance for short periods.
As stated in previous posts, we are here to support and encourage each other through our good and difficult times.
Requal salutes CHD.
- November 8, 2021 at 6:28 pm #573672Stephanie BassPrincess - AnnualRegistered On: November 30, 2019Topics: 19Replies: 2861Has thanked: 41144 timesBeen thanked: 10435 times
- November 8, 2021 at 5:44 pm #573663Lara TuckerLadyRegistered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 367Has thanked: 8869 timesBeen thanked: 1587 times
- November 8, 2021 at 3:45 pm #573620Alice UnderwireLadyRegistered On: September 16, 2019Topics: 90Replies: 4681Has thanked: 6952 timesBeen thanked: 11846 times
- November 8, 2021 at 3:20 pm #573606AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Oh my Bridgette do hope things work out for the best. Know have alot support here at CDH. But you right to pull back some a marriage is most important thing. Like always been saying you know the light will be on here when ready to come back.
Hugs and peace
- November 8, 2021 at 1:52 pm #573571
- November 8, 2021 at 12:29 pm #573544Charlene VictoriaLadyRegistered On: November 29, 2016Topics: 27Replies: 244Has thanked: 1469 timesBeen thanked: 1469 times
Bridgette, these changes do happen. And it hurts.
In June of 2020 I came out fully to my wife. She did know before we married but I kept the depth of my femme self deeply closetted. When I finally did tell her all her response overwhelmed me. I wrote several forum post and at least 2 articles here at CDH about my experience.
Her main reaction was the most exquisite question I believe I was ever asked. “OK, well how can I help you feel more like a woman?” Really!? Certainly “unexpected”, is putting it mildly.
I had about 2 months of dressing freedom. I can’t think of an adjective to appropriately describe that time. However as time went on I noticed she became more sullen with me.
Why? My feminine was “bleeding” over into my masculine. I began being too feminine during the time she needed me masculine.
I sensed this and told her I would give up my feminine self expression. She was visibly relieved and genuinely thankful.
I think just as we “need” our feminine time, so our wives [most of them I am assuming] need their man, sans our feminine self. This man and his particular style of masculine is who they married. That our style of masculine may have a fair amount of our femininity influencing it makes no matter to them. It is the masculine they know and love us for. Mix in any more femininity and their balance is upset. And to share that man with another woman, even if that woman is us, is very difficult for many woman.
Oh, BTW I was told that by a wife of a CDH member, [herself a member] both of whom contributed to the forums quite regularly. I’ve noticed that is no longer the case.
Accepting / supporting wives migrating to a less than accepting / supportive position after a certain amount of time I suspect is not too unusual. And that dear sister makes our balancing act so much more difficult, does it not?
“Letting your inner woman out” is so wonderfully amazing, yet is so often fraught with difficulty and heartbreak. Many of us know that hurt from personal experience. Thus we appreciate your hurt much more deeply.
- November 8, 2021 at 4:35 pm #573644LadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 49Replies: 1381Has thanked: 19861 timesBeen thanked: 5727 times
Everything you wrote rings so true. I was blending them to much for her. She indeed sees two different people, whereas I (and probably all of us are similar) only see me, myself, one single indivisible person. Now I feel as if I’m being asked to actually BE two different people. Hopefully that doesn’t do any damage…
Thanks to all for the support!
- November 8, 2021 at 11:48 am #573521Clara CrossLadyRegistered On: December 7, 2020Topics: 16Replies: 561Has thanked: 1794 timesBeen thanked: 2677 times
- November 8, 2021 at 11:44 am #573517
- November 8, 2021 at 11:35 am #573513
- November 8, 2021 at 11:08 am #573491Liara WolfeDuchessRegistered On: August 14, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 1021Has thanked: 1982 timesBeen thanked: 3928 times
- November 8, 2021 at 10:34 am #573472Raquel SmithLadyRegistered On: August 26, 2021Topics: 10Replies: 604Has thanked: 1865 timesBeen thanked: 1938 times
- November 8, 2021 at 10:15 am #573469AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
So sorry to hear of your problems honey….I hope you can work it out with your wife….. your stories about going out together have been lovely…and inspiring.
Obviously your marriage must come first…… but I’m sure you know that there are people here for you….you have been a rock on cdh for so many….
Biggest huggs, grace xx
- November 8, 2021 at 4:29 pm #573641LadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 49Replies: 1381Has thanked: 19861 timesBeen thanked: 5727 times
- November 8, 2021 at 6:30 pm #573674AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Bridgette whenever can make it in even for little bit be nice. Know for myself have been kinda absent some what or not on as much. But with my surgeries going on and started back to work been little crazy.
Do hope for the best for you Bridgette get things straighten out. Maybe wife and yourself take another get away somewhere. As Husband and wife. Another honeymoon.
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