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Hi everybody,
have question for you all. i have not cd for that long and i am still figuring my place of comfort, working on my wife’s acceptance, and sorting out my femininity. So i have bought under and outer garments, enjoy then for a while, and then throw them away because of my doubts and lacking full confidence yet (seems this is what i hear referred to as purging?). Then later i go back and buy some more. Is this a common theme?
Love,
kristen rebecca
I know for myself, I have purged (maybe 3 or 4 times ??). I am not referring to purging items that no longer fit or no longer wear, it was all clothing items.
Main reason I purged before was fear of getting caught by my SO. At that time, I had not come out to her, so I decided to purge everything for fear that she would stumble upon my collection.
Yes Kristen, that’s what purging is. It’s a safe bet that most of us have purged at least once. Me, I only purged once. I threw out some clothes that I will never find again. The next time I wanted to give up crossdressing I simply packed everything up and put it away.
Besides losing irreplacable items, purging gets expensive. I don’t know how your wife feels about things, but it couldn’t hurt to ask if she would mind if the next time you want to purge you put your things in storage instead.
Hi Kristen, I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. I have never purged. My SO knows that I’m a CD and while not supportive, she’s never asked me to get rid of my huge collection of female clothing (which now far exceeds my male clothing especially since I’ve retired – no longer a need for dress pants, shirts & ties & suits). But being a fan of Marie Kondo and simplifying my life through decluttering, I do get rid of female clothing once in awhile. I get donate clothes to Goodwill that don’t fit well and is of poor quality in order to make room for new female attire. I’m glad my SO knows; it makes life so much easier. All the Best, stay healthy, stay safe, Hugs, Krista.
I think I’ve purged twice, one time, absolutely totally, the other time, most everything, keeping just a very few items. Although now, I’m beginning to seriously cut back. This virus thing along with voluntarily going along with the decreed lockdown, fortunately or unfortunately has sort of spurred it on. Not sure where it will all take me. I don’t need to cause concern among close relatives, who don’t know and probably would not understand, if something happens to me and even my limited wardrobe is uncovered.
I started purchasing clothes and heels in 2018, so I’ve never purged yet (and I don’t intend to do it). I keep my attire stored in a place far from my parents’ sight, so I don’t have to cope with someone pushing me to purge or quit crossdressing. However, as a direct consequence of such arrangement, I can’t get dressed as often as I would like.
xoxo
Daisy
It is A shame so many have gone through purging, it’s so self defeating but unnecessary as well as costly. You soon regret dumping something that you will miss and get A bad feeling that you now no longer have something you loved to wear. Don’t let those nasty narrow minded people dictate what you should or shouldn’t wear, follow what you heart says and be yourself not one of those narrow mindeded unhappy people that don’t know what they are missing.
I have purged several times over the years. It would happen when things in my life would get stressful and my guilt would get triggered. I would then feel shame that what I was doing was wrong and there was something wrong with me. My wife knew back then, so it wasn’t any fear she would find out. It was all my own feelings. Things are different in my life now. There will be no more purges.
Hi Kristen,
I have only been actively Dressing for about 5 years, have not purged, and am sure I never will. I’m blessed with a supportive wife, and I’m a packrat who never discards anything. My wife even says I save used kitty litter, which isn’t so. But perhaps I don’t change it often enough.Hi Kristen Purging is very much a part of being a CD. The shame and the guilt just got to me, I thought there was some thing wrong with me. I used to believe if i got rid of the clothes the feeling i got would go away also. They would go away, for about a week or even a month some times. My wife found out some years ago and even then i stilled purged. She would say to me “where is Stephanie these days” with a cute smile. I would get embarrassed and just say she is gone. It wasn’t until i spent time trying to figure out the big question WHY??. I came to understand these feelings i get are just a part of who I am. I want to look and feel like the gender I most identify with. When i learned to trust my feelings and it was ok to do so. I began to accept that part of me. Then the purging stopped. Unfortunately it took a life time to figure it out. I wasted so many years just denying and shaming my self hoping those feelings would go away. I have a wish for all of you still struggling with our issue. Find a way to express those feelings into your present life. You deserve to be happy your whole life, I can assure you” life goes by in a blink” then its over .
Luv Stephanie
Until you embrace the inner femme, purging is a fact of life for many.
Such a waste!
My advice is store, not purge.
You don’t need that level of regret on top of the guilt and all the other stuff that goes with suppressing a side of you that absolutely requires an outlet.
Taking a walk en femme in the country or down a bustling shopping street, going into a shop and trying on dresses, having a meal, going out for entertainment, talking to people – all these ordinary things give me such a shot of positivity that I cannot help but see cross dressing as a health benefit for those lucky enough to be so inclined, with the clothes themselves as the medicine.
Don’t throw away the medicine – there’s no best before date on clothing unless you’re a fashionista.
I shouldn’t regret things, but oh, the lovely dresses and shoes… 😥
Unless you’re determined to stop, the need to cross dress will never go away. And even then, it will probably return if it’s in you. The fashion industry creates such lovely images!
Love Laura
Hi girls
thanks for all the great comments on this topic. It is cool to see the different experiences and insights. Probably my worst event and was not that bad was getting rid of a bunch of really cute panties from vs. all kinds of pretty colors pink orange light blue with sparkles but my wife thought it was too much and also a few bras. But it does gets expensive and I threw away some panties that I really likeD and can’t find them anymore.
But the main thing I learned from this conversation is that it is just about impossible to negate the feeling of loving women’s clothing and cd.
love y’allkristen rebecca
Since I never shaved I would only dress from fall to spring when i traveled due to needing long sleeves and tights which just gets too hot in the summer so for many years I would purge every summer. I never had a lot of items and none was expensive but the makeup was the killer. I stopped purging many years ago now but do need to think out the collection.
My advice is, don’t purge!
Do donate things you will not wear anymore, and replace them. We all go through this. Feeling guilt et al, the little voice saying “I will never do this again!”, then you do!
I’ve lost some wonderful items through purging, and now I don’t anymore.
Again it is common, but this is a part of you and it will not go away. And that is just fine!
Have fun, gurl!
Bekka
Dress, guilt, shame, purge, repeat. Yes, I’ve gone thru that cycle more times than I can remember. The financial loss – depressingly high. The emotional cost – astronomical. The last purge was about 12 years ago. I actually thought I was cured. Silly girl. Of course the desire came back. Except for once I took a good look in the mirror and realized this is who I am. So I went on another buying spree. That was 5 years ago. Now I’m running out of places to put everything! Being a girl is SO much fun! I can’t imagine ever giving that up. But if I ever do get sick of the lifestyle, I’m not purging. All the lovely things will get carefully packed and put into storage. Because I know I’ll want them back.
Be good to yourselves ladies. DON’T PURGE!
Emily
I’ve purged twice in my 30 years of cross-dressing. From the comments I’ve read here and elsewhere, purging is common, though the frequency varies from person to person. I have learned to resist purging. I keep my clothes and accessories stored away so I can not easily get them anytime I want. I just get them when I have some Stephanie time and intend on getting dressed up. That greatly reduces the chance of me throwing things away on a whim.
I’ve found that the only good thing that came out of my purges is that I had an excuse to buy new things.
One time I purged photos of me en femme. It’s not the same as throwing away clothes and accessories, but I did regret it later. I got some back from a friend who had copies. The rest are gone forever.
I could definitely speak about purging,
about 10 years ago I had quite a good size collection of clothes, then I sort of put Cross-dressing in the back seat for a while due to my then current life situation and ended up getting rid of my small wardrobe, Fast forward to this year I’ve built it back up to where I once was. Although you could make the arguement that clothing styles change constantly and clothing eventually will get wore out so it’s almost natural to purge every once in a while but it’s tough to start over a new collection and expensive.
All too common, Kristen.
But I think it’s time to girl up.
Throwing them away isn’t just a waste, it’s an admission that what you’re doing is wrong.
But it’s not wrong.
It’s harmless – and if it’s sexy lingerie, good for the love life.
I have to say that I find ordinary cotton panties far more comfortable for daily wear!
I haven’t purged for 7 years, and have no intention of ever purging again. Storage, if I need to, but good clothes aren’t rubbish.
Send them to charity shops if you feel you need to get rid of them, then someone else can benefit.
Love Laura
Far too many times.Like you Kristen I would buy tons of clothes,enjoy wearing them but after a day or so guilt would set in and I would throw the whole bunch away.I did this for years.In 2011,I decided to stop purging as the older I was getting the more I realised that Roberta is a big psrt of who I am.What helped me to stop was the knowledge that my was aware of my x-dressing.I didn’t need to hide it away anymore.The only things I dispose of now are jjst afew items that have gone out of fashion.I have even got pairs of tights / pantyhose bought about eigbt years ago that I still wear and are still in good comdition.That hasn’t stopped me buying more.Hosiery is always an integral part of my outfits.
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