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Hello my Crossdressing husband/ Jenny has told me she wants to try testosterone pills. The pink fog has taken hold of him and he has been dressing every Saturday when the kids our out. It is getting hard for me his wife, it’s to much!
So now he thinks if he try some testosterone pills then he will be able to suppress the pink fog. And be more manly! I love him, but not sure this will work for him, what do you all think, anyone try this Tactic to lessen the pink fog?
I love him/her but sometimes I can’t take it, he shaved his whole body the other day and bought Capri pants and said look at.my summer outfit, all i could think is what the hell! He does not go out of house dress but still. Anyway any insight to his plan testosterone would be helpful thank you. Do you think it will work? Loving SO.
Missylee, I really don’t have any medical knowledge to answer that but I can say for certain that I kind of doubt it. Once a cross dresser always a cross dresser. You have every right to set some boundaries with him so that you can feel comfortable with his dressing. You have to understand that most of us here can’t really say why we do, it’s just that we love how we fell when we do, both inside and out. I’m sure when you get dressed up and look in the mirror you get a good feeling about yourself. Well the same is true for us the cross dresser. I want to thank you though for taking the time to talk about this, it shows that you do care for him, so talk with him about how you feel. Talking goes much farther than silence.
Sherri
Missylee,
Same here, no medical training, just some general idea of things.
Everybody has different reasons to crossdress. I dare say that if your hubby’s reason is tied up to sexual excitement, adding “fuel to the fire” may only make it worse (because T is likely to increase the libido).
Also, taking hormones without medical supervision is definitely not a good idea, so hopefully that is not the case.
And a generic thought… crossdressing is present in men at all ages, some with very low T leves (more “mature” individuals) and some in the prime of their manliness whenT is at their highest.
I wish you luck, whatever you guys decide to do, but more than anything, communicate, compromise, boundaries…Dear Missylee
I would love to be able to help and advise you, but I am afraid that I simply don’t know. But I would say that if the solution to this urge to dress was as simple as taking hormones, then it would be well documented. I would advise that any decision about taking hormones should be under a doctors supervision.
Obviously your husband wants to find a compromise, could you not work out a scheme where both of your wants and needs are accommodated. For instance, I dress a lot at home, almost all the time, but I never let it interfere with going out or my wife’s wishes and if for instance my wife wants to go out, we do so…but I underdress. Also I do at least 50% of the work around the house, to so my appreciation of her tolerance/support including breakfast in bed at the weekend. Maybe you could work out some arrangement that you would both be happy with.
Good luck to both you and your hubby.
Hugs
ChristineMissylee,
First off, thank you for being so supportive of your husband’s cross dressing that you would come here to seek advice. There aren’t enough wives/so’s that are supportive, and that makes you a fairly rare and special kind of woman.
And your husband needs to understand that and work with you on creating boundaries you can both live with. A good therapist who specializes in things related to the LGBTQ community, may be able to offer more help than any of us here can. They’ve dealt with these kind of issues and may be a great resource for helping to understand his desires and to help you both with creating a plan or boundaries to deal with these issues.
As far as I can see after having read so many profiles and forum posts and comments, not one of us heterosexual cross dressers know why we feel the need to dress as women, but it can be very strong at times or it may dip and we won’t dress for a while. Either way, we have no idea why we are this way. Sometimes it’s a curse. Your husband probably doesn’t know either. I wish I knew why I feel this need. For me, I feel sexy, feminine, calm and secure. But there is a sexual component as well, but it’s not as strong as it was when I was younger.
Whether or not hormones will help, I can’t say. But I’d see a doctor and inform him as to the exact reason for wanting to try testosterone. The doctor may have a better suggestion. But I doubt that testosterone will help. It may ramp up his sexual appetite, but I doubt it will curb his need to cross dress. I hope I’ve helped you at least a little.
Best of luck, Jill
In my opinion, testosterone would be poison to a crossdresser that wants to maintain her femininity. We desire to have low testosterone.
I tried “T”, it did nothing for me, I still wanted to dress. Like many other people have said just be open and communicate and set “your” boundaries. Let him know you accept it but you have to have time and when you want or don’t really want to see him dressed. If he understands you and respects your feelings he will know when it’s ok and not ok to dress around you. He will be his male self when you need him to be and the times you are ok with it and the situations are right he can let her out and hopefully you can both enjoy it together. Support, communication and boundaries are a must.
Missy,
First of all, thank you very much for being so open and supportive. Acknowledging your own limitations is as important as acknowledging that Jenny isn’t going anywhere. You will hear me mention Dr. Debra Soh many times. Look for her podcast’s episodes on AGP (autogynephilia). They’re number 44 and 46 if I recall correctly. All medical literature points at neurological reasons, which in other words means the desire to dress is permanent.
Hi MissyLee,
First, do not let him use testosterone without medical supervision. He will need to be monitored to make sure he is getting the correct amount.
Second, you might want to try the herbal supplement of stinging nettle root. It can convert testosterone to DHT in the body. It will increase libido, motivation and energy levels. But, it can also increase male pattern baldness. Which is what happened to me and why I stopped taking it.
It is very inexpensive and readily available OTC. Do some research first to make sure it is something you want to try and DO NOT exceed the recommend dosage.
Good luck,
Madeline
Seems like a bad idea honestly. People with gender dysphoria often fight their entire lives trying to rid themselves of this “desire” or “need” or whatever you call it. It is there to stay. Anyone who says “they are done with it” is lying to themselves and others. I know from experience. As so many others have pointed out, communicating, setting boundaries, etc. is the best path forward, maybe couples counseling if you think you need it. I know it can be quite stressfull/emotional for both parties I hope you can both find the path to happiness together.
Thanks for the disclaimer, Samantha — I should have added that. She does make me cringe from time to time, but she’s a necessary evil when the vast majority of online channels are affirming. I was starting to think I was a trans woman before I got in contact with her views, and now I can say I finally have two opposing views to balance my own perspective. Detransitioning stories are scary and sad.
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