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    • #570933
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess

      Last night I went to check out a new local ‘gay’? bar which is to have drag shows every weekend. I sat at a table by myself, after 15 minutes or so a person walks in who I am pretty sure was a CD. She was dressed fully in fem, but her facial features looked to me as masculine. She sat at another table all by herself. I only went there to check the place out, had no real intentions of staying long, so I just got up and left about 20 minutes latter.
      the more I think about it the more I could kick myself for not trying to strike up a conversation.
      Question for you how would you have gone about starting the conversation??

      . . . .Cassie

    • #570936

      Hi Cassie the easiest way was to ask her if she comes there often and ask about the shows on the weekends and go from there you got this girl easy as pie ..he he ..

      Stephanie Bass

    • #570965
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess

      I guess the best way would be to casually introduce you self as a CD and go form there. With that said, I would actually probably start to stammer and stutter like I did when I was a teenager asking a girl out, LOL.

      Hugs, Liara

    • #573274

      Hi, I’m Cassie. may I join you?

      Diane

    • #573278

      I have met several sisters when out en femme – these tend to fall into 3 categories:

      1. The excited supersister. As soon as you see her, her eyes light up – no need for explanations, you’re already bezzie mates. With this type you can be like “Hi, Darling, how are you? Oh, my – you look gorgeous!! I love your (insert most fabulous aspects here) – can I get you a drink, and other no holds barred gushiness. From the reciprocation, you gauge whether you need to tone it down a bit for comfort, or let the world know how amazing the sisterhood is.

      2. The reluctant shrinking violet. This type looks a bit lonely, and gazes around, hopefully. Generally, the clothes are a little poorly thought out and the makeup skills are next to non-existent – but she is trying, and she is there, and she is my sister. My introduction will be along the lines of “Oh, hi! Are you a sister? What’s your name, honey?”, and I will see if she opens up, using a compliment to get the feelings flowing. If she doesn’t want the company of an outrageous hussy like me, I will know, and not be an over-sensitive drama queen – usually this type warm to you as the evening goes on, and they see you mingling with all sorts of other people, and are not specifically picking on them!

      3. The ignorant beyatch. Sorry, girls, but there are members of our sisterhood who think their look is super-convincing, and they don’t want an obvious bloke in a frock outing them with air-head conversation. I find this ignorant – in the literal sense of the word, as this type will pretty much act like you’re not even there and look around as if looking out for someone else, building a wall of “Do not approach me”.

      Huh! Who wants to talk to someone else when they could be talking to Laura?

      😍😍😍😍😍😋

      >giggles!!<

       

      • #573281
        Anonymous

        giggles, indeed Laura, but giggles aside, a very insightful post, at least for me. Thanks

        Marti xxx

    • #573284
      Anonymous

      I’d guess that a compliment would be the best ice-breaker. “Hey, I love your shoes!”.

      Avoid “Hey, nice tuck!” unless you’re 100% sure…………

      Connie

      xxx

    • #573310
      Nancy
      Lady

      Laura, you got me thinking about my own category now. I guess I’m a shrinking violet. I both want to be invisible, yet crave the conversation and human interaction at the same time.

      Stephanie, ironically, the bar in question just opened up a couple weeks ago, so that line might be an amusing conversation starter. 🙂

      Cassie, I hope to join you there later this week. Ironically, I think I saw a fellow sister walking through Walmart last night… but if she was a CD, she was so good at it that I couldn’t be 100% sure. I didn’t have the opportunity to talk to her, she looked like she was on a mission as she passed by. I’m not sure if I would have had the courage to say anything anyway, but, “Those are fabulous boots, where did you get them?” comes to mind. Come to think of it, I wonder if having a local gay/drag bar will help bring more of us out?

      Birel

    • #573368
      Anonymous

      Hi Cassie,

      Just go the direct root hi my name is Cassie is it ok if i sit down, then just say I’ve never been to this bar before how about you do you come here often, then just see how the conversation goes, she can only say sorry I’m off or she will start talking to you,

      Hugs Roz X

    • #573444

      I am very sure she would have enjoyed you approaching her with the said lines given above. She wouldnt have been there if she didnt want to meet others like us. A simple hi and a compliment would break the ice since she may have been as nervous as you. I would have been delighted if I were her .

    • #573453
      Anonymous
      Lady

      I’ve always thought that an opening line could be “Hello sister”. If the person wants to talk she will respond and if not you will know in a few seconds where the situation stands. I think you should have approached her and it could have turned into a fun interesting night making a new friend.

    • #573477

      I would have gone over and said I am on my own too. Is it ok if I sit with you and chat?

    • #573497

      The best ice breaker would be to smile as soon as eye contact is made.  Compliment her on her ensemble or just part of it, like her blouse or necklace or purse.

      It is important, if you are endrab, to let  her know you are a sister and not an admirer trying to make a score.

      Once you have given her that compliment, let her react.  Body language will be the first ‘tell’ as to whether she wants to chat or is unsure, both of herself and meeting new people unexpectedly.

      By all means though, if you can, at least try and make a connection.

      PaulaF

    • #573685
      Mia Mor’e
      Baroness

      I would compliment something about her appearance and try to get a feel for how receptive she is about conversing.

    • #573810

      Hopefully like any other conversation I would start with someone I have never met…”Hi, it’s a pleasure to meet you…who are you and where are you from?” Or, “I love your ___ (shoes, skirt, etc., pick 1 or more), where did you get them?”

      In fem mode, I am a touch more conservative with conversations with new people, but the basics are still the basics. Make eye contact, smile as best as you can, a polite greeting, clasp/shake hands/hug, introduction, etc.

      Sometimes, I think we (collectively – humanity, not just CDs) make being social far more awkward that it really needs to be.

      Next time, just say ‘hi’…you’ll be surprised what happens…

      Dani

    • #573818
      Barb Wire
      Lady

      I’m not sure what I’d do.

      Panic?

      Cassie, posts like yours are encouraging me to get out more often. I did last night and even mingled with the crowd on the outskirts (ahem..) at a sporting event with botched make up and clearly visible hosiery. Heels were out of the question since the event was on gravel and grass, so tasteful hiking boots were best. I looked okay, I guess. No looks or anything. Boo…

      If I did see a sister, I would have smiled with a slight and modest wave and then see what happens.

      Cheers!

      🥂 Barb

    • #573823

      since you are there you might as well enjoy the time there and say you look pretty, what kind of perfume are you wearing or some thing to that matter, then see what goes from there. you went there  to have a good time i suppose. so why not join in and talk to other cross dressers i know i would of.

    • #573811

      Love it! You be you. Everyone else is already taken so Oscar tells us.

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