- November 7, 2021 at 6:57 pm #570933Cassie JaysonParticipantRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 35Replies: 741Has thanked: 1611 timesBeen thanked: 3525 times
Last night I went to check out a new local ‘gay’? bar which is to have drag shows every weekend. I sat at a table by myself, after 15 minutes or so a person walks in who I am pretty sure was a CD. She was dressed fully in fem, but her facial features looked to me as masculine. She sat at another table all by herself. I only went there to check the place out, had no real intentions of staying long, so I just got up and left about 20 minutes latter.
the more I think about it the more I could kick myself for not trying to strike up a conversation.
Question for you how would you have gone about starting the conversation??
. . . .Cassie
Total of 25 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- November 9, 2021 at 5:24 am #573823Lucinda HawknsLadyRegistered On: September 1, 2015Topics: 6Replies: 1351Has thanked: 82 timesBeen thanked: 1682 times
since you are there you might as well enjoy the time there and say you look pretty, what kind of perfume are you wearing or some thing to that matter, then see what goes from there. you went there to have a good time i suppose. so why not join in and talk to other cross dressers i know i would of.
- November 9, 2021 at 5:16 am #573818Barb WireDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 12Replies: 490Has thanked: 2230 timesBeen thanked: 2289 times
I’m not sure what I’d do.
Cassie, posts like yours are encouraging me to get out more often. I did last night and even mingled with the crowd on the outskirts (ahem..) at a sporting event with botched make up and clearly visible hosiery. Heels were out of the question since the event was on gravel and grass, so tasteful hiking boots were best. I looked okay, I guess. No looks or anything. Boo…
If I did see a sister, I would have smiled with a slight and modest wave and then see what happens.
- November 9, 2021 at 4:58 am #573810Dani GrandBaronessRegistered On: October 9, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 103Has thanked: 524 timesBeen thanked: 380 times
Hopefully like any other conversation I would start with someone I have never met…”Hi, it’s a pleasure to meet you…who are you and where are you from?” Or, “I love your ___ (shoes, skirt, etc., pick 1 or more), where did you get them?”
In fem mode, I am a touch more conservative with conversations with new people, but the basics are still the basics. Make eye contact, smile as best as you can, a polite greeting, clasp/shake hands/hug, introduction, etc.
Sometimes, I think we (collectively – humanity, not just CDs) make being social far more awkward that it really needs to be.
Next time, just say ‘hi’…you’ll be surprised what happens…
- November 9, 2021 at 4:13 am #573788PrincessByDawnDuchessRegistered On: April 4, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 79Has thanked: 238 timesBeen thanked: 276 times
Assuming that loud music was playing, it is a great option to go up close to speak, like speaking directly into her ear. 🤭 It’s not possible to do that in a normal conversation. I would have just said that you look great. Personally, I have realised that it is better to be brave (and even sometimes get a -ve reaction) than just wondering later on what i could have done.
- November 8, 2021 at 8:13 pm #573685Mia Mor’eBaronessRegistered On: June 27, 2021Topics: 7Replies: 92Has thanked: 89 timesBeen thanked: 470 times
- November 8, 2021 at 11:16 am #573497Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 1595Has thanked: 28195 timesBeen thanked: 6556 times
The best ice breaker would be to smile as soon as eye contact is made. Compliment her on her ensemble or just part of it, like her blouse or necklace or purse.
It is important, if you are endrab, to let her know you are a sister and not an admirer trying to make a score.
Once you have given her that compliment, let her react. Body language will be the first ‘tell’ as to whether she wants to chat or is unsure, both of herself and meeting new people unexpectedly.
By all means though, if you can, at least try and make a connection.
- November 8, 2021 at 10:41 am #573477Jeannie JonesDuchessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 14Replies: 642Has thanked: 2227 timesBeen thanked: 2423 times
- November 8, 2021 at 9:27 am #573453Michelle McQueenLadyRegistered On: June 14, 2021Topics: 16Replies: 709Has thanked: 3363 timesBeen thanked: 3574 times
I’ve always thought that an opening line could be “Hello sister”. If the person wants to talk she will respond and if not you will know in a few seconds where the situation stands. I think you should have approached her and it could have turned into a fun interesting night making a new friend.
- November 8, 2021 at 9:13 am #573444Deborah SullivanRegistered On: February 27, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 791Has thanked: 3584 timesBeen thanked: 3315 times
I am very sure she would have enjoyed you approaching her with the said lines given above. She wouldnt have been there if she didnt want to meet others like us. A simple hi and a compliment would break the ice since she may have been as nervous as you. I would have been delighted if I were her .
- November 8, 2021 at 6:38 am #573368Rozalyne RichardsLadyRegistered On: September 20, 2021Topics: 0Replies: 751Has thanked: 225 timesBeen thanked: 2860 times
Just go the direct root hi my name is Cassie is it ok if i sit down, then just say I’ve never been to this bar before how about you do you come here often, then just see how the conversation goes, she can only say sorry I’m off or she will start talking to you,
Hugs Roz X
- November 8, 2021 at 5:58 am #573357Bobbisue JonesLadyRegistered On: May 24, 2021Topics: 11Replies: 675Has thanked: 4721 timesBeen thanked: 2656 times
Hi Cassie, thank you for post this question as I am going to attend my first drag show this coming Saturday. I also wish to thank sisters for very helpful information. Love and hugs Bobbisue J
- November 9, 2021 at 5:00 am #573811
- November 8, 2021 at 4:29 am #573310Birel GalanodelLadyRegistered On: May 3, 2020Topics: 22Replies: 340Has thanked: 888 timesBeen thanked: 1672 times
Laura, you got me thinking about my own category now. I guess I’m a shrinking violet. I both want to be invisible, yet crave the conversation and human interaction at the same time.
Stephanie, ironically, the bar in question just opened up a couple weeks ago, so that line might be an amusing conversation starter. 🙂
Cassie, I hope to join you there later this week. Ironically, I think I saw a fellow sister walking through Walmart last night… but if she was a CD, she was so good at it that I couldn’t be 100% sure. I didn’t have the opportunity to talk to her, she looked like she was on a mission as she passed by. I’m not sure if I would have had the courage to say anything anyway, but, “Those are fabulous boots, where did you get them?” comes to mind. Come to think of it, I wonder if having a local gay/drag bar will help bring more of us out?
- November 8, 2021 at 6:58 pm #573676
- November 8, 2021 at 2:02 am #573284Connie TwirlLadyRegistered On: August 18, 2021Topics: 14Replies: 422Has thanked: 713 timesBeen thanked: 1757 times
I’d guess that a compliment would be the best ice-breaker. “Hey, I love your shoes!”.
Avoid “Hey, nice tuck!” unless you’re 100% sure…………
- November 8, 2021 at 12:55 am #573278Laura LovettLadyRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 37Replies: 1511Has thanked: 4697 timesBeen thanked: 7389 times
I have met several sisters when out en femme – these tend to fall into 3 categories:
1. The excited supersister. As soon as you see her, her eyes light up – no need for explanations, you’re already bezzie mates. With this type you can be like “Hi, Darling, how are you? Oh, my – you look gorgeous!! I love your (insert most fabulous aspects here) – can I get you a drink, and other no holds barred gushiness. From the reciprocation, you gauge whether you need to tone it down a bit for comfort, or let the world know how amazing the sisterhood is.
2. The reluctant shrinking violet. This type looks a bit lonely, and gazes around, hopefully. Generally, the clothes are a little poorly thought out and the makeup skills are next to non-existent – but she is trying, and she is there, and she is my sister. My introduction will be along the lines of “Oh, hi! Are you a sister? What’s your name, honey?”, and I will see if she opens up, using a compliment to get the feelings flowing. If she doesn’t want the company of an outrageous hussy like me, I will know, and not be an over-sensitive drama queen – usually this type warm to you as the evening goes on, and they see you mingling with all sorts of other people, and are not specifically picking on them!
3. The ignorant beyatch. Sorry, girls, but there are members of our sisterhood who think their look is super-convincing, and they don’t want an obvious bloke in a frock outing them with air-head conversation. I find this ignorant – in the literal sense of the word, as this type will pretty much act like you’re not even there and look around as if looking out for someone else, building a wall of “Do not approach me”.
Huh! Who wants to talk to someone else when they could be talking to Laura?
- November 8, 2021 at 12:39 am #573274
- November 7, 2021 at 9:56 pm #570965Liara WolfeLadyRegistered On: August 14, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 744Has thanked: 1254 timesBeen thanked: 2676 times
I guess the best way would be to casually introduce you self as a CD and go form there. With that said, I would actually probably start to stammer and stutter like I did when I was a teenager asking a girl out, LOL.
- November 7, 2021 at 7:02 pm #570936Stephanie BassPrincess - AnnualRegistered On: November 30, 2019Topics: 16Replies: 2549Has thanked: 34395 timesBeen thanked: 8758 times
Hi Cassie the easiest way was to ask her if she comes there often and ask about the shows on the weekends and go from there you got this girl easy as pie ..he he ..
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