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I see post where stores/companies are considered cross dresser friendly stores like the recent post on about Sephora. This perplexes me.
While this store was CD friendly how do you know or can you say a chain of stores are CD friendly.
An example, I would think most know or have heard of McDonalds. I do not get the same level of service from the location on my side of town as I get from the one on the other side of town. I am sure McDonalds as a corporation has some kind of policy that says be friendly and courteous to everyone no matter what. However, we all know that this does not actually happen at every location.
So how can we say Sephora (just an example) is CD friendly. I would think every store is going to have its own personality. Definitely each employee is going to have their own personality.
Am I thinking to much into this?
Life doesn’t come with guarantees, so the best we can talk about is generalities. I think that these companies have trained their employees to be CD friendly, and the store manager and/or corporate offices may want to know if you have a bad experience.
Remember that your money is the same color as a woman’s. They are in the business of making sales, and anyone who is willing to spend money is welcome. If a buyer has a good experience in a store or a chain, they are more likely to recommend others. This goes for CDers as well as women. This generates more business. So it is usually a win-win situation for both the CDer and the store.
Agreed. Part of what drives the intent of my question is that I was going to visit the local Torrid store. So out of curiosity I looked up some of the store reviews. There was not a single positive thing said about the store. I also realize that people are quick to complain but not compliment. However not a single positive comment was statistically odd with the large number of comments…
You are correct about each location having it’s own personality. I have had the same experience from one location to another. And some employees are very polite and respectful while others act like they are there for the paycheck and not the job. I was at Macys in Mishawaka Indiana and had a great experience. The young lady who helped me was very kind and took the time to make sure that I was taken care of. She even commented me on my earrings and nail polish.
Hi Cathryn,
You are correct. Corporations will have policies in place but employees at individual locations may or may not fully embrace the concept and, in those cases, as Alison noted, you may want to notify the store manager or corporate office if your visit is less than professional. In general though these stores are CD friendly and quite happy to lighten our purses.
YMMV
Hope this helps.
-joanne.In the case of Sephora, they state overtly that they value inclusion and representation on their corporate website. They even offer beginning makeup classes for transgender folks from time to time. Does that mean that every employee is a trans ally? Of course not. It just means they won’t tolerate any anti-LGBTQ+ shenanigans by an employee.
For businesses that aren’t explicitly trans-friendly, I think it just depends on the community. I’ve never encountered any issues, not so much as a funny vibe, in my experience so far. I also don’t live in the South!
Some stores have a reputation for being CD-Friendly..Macy’s Sephora, Soma, Dillards, Lane Bryant, Dress Barn, Torrid, Victoria Secret to name just a few. I know CDs who feel comfortable getting a makeover at the Mac counter. I personally, have had great experience from more-than-helpful sales clerks at such stores. I have run into clerks which clearly don’t know how to handle requests such as bra fittings, in other chains.
It has been my understanding that employees in CD-friendly chains are trained to be empathetic and especially helpful to CDs. I have read reports of negative experiences in some chains which have led to CD-sympathetic policies, which I believe are chain-wide. I don’t know first-hand if this is true.
Having heard of consistently friendly treatments which are widely known in our community and those who serve us, such as dressing services, and of stores such as Sephora hosting makeovers and special hours designed to attract CDs and TGs at special events, I’d assume that employees in such stores would at least know of their stores’ reputation for welcoming policies (and the sales it can bring).
Based on my own experiences and hearsay I am confident in steering CDs to certain chains, never having heard of a negative experience. It is good to know stores on which I can rely to allow use of ladies’ changing rooms and welcoming treatment. I know some stores allow me to use women’s changing rooms if I present en femme but not otherwise. I avoid stores if I am in doubt and guiding a newbie (I myself being willing to take my chances anywhere if uncertain, but being more guarded if advising another, especially since my experiences have not been uniformly positive.)
Thanks for this thread! I’d be interested in learning more about whether CD-awareness and treatment of male customers seeking female items and service is in fact based on chain-wide policies which are conveyed to the sales attendants or seeing if anyone can unearth instructions embedded in training manuals to this effect. If there are in fact chain-wide policies welcoming CDs I’d love to see a list of chains known to have such policies.
I live in the U.K. and from my earliest excursions to today my overall experience has been positive. If there were adverse events I always put it down to the individual who doesn’t follow the stores policies. I have options, complain or don’t go there again. I have to say that my worst experience was with my bank last month who has a strong policy on LGBT+ and boasts its credentials. I did complain by writing and a month later I have had no reply! I will be due to see my branch advisor soon and will get to know about it….
Hi Angela.
Can you tell us what the problem was?
I’ll start with a positive. A while back I asked my then advisor about my details on my bank card. They couldn’t be changed unless I had a formal name change and at that stage it wasn’t in my plans. It was suggested that they could take away the title and use my initials and surname which was great. My branch has been fantastic. However the bank is a corporate entity and different transactions are with differing departments out in the corporate world. I have received mail titled Mx, which is fine but not of my request but can live with.
The issue regarded a payment I made for an insurance over the phone for my mother who had been hospitalised. We are at the same bank but the system would not accept the details as written on the card. I had to give my details effectively outing myself . The chap on the line was apologetic and understanding. I pointed out that the details I had to give were in some respect fraudulent as they aren’t the same as the card which, in other businesses if they don’t match they don’t get accepted, bank transfers for example. Then a letter was sent to me and addressed to Mr…… …..!
Am I being over sensitive or does it make sense to you for me to be aggrieved?
Stories about CD-friendly stores are based on hearing that most CD experiences at these places has been positive. No establishment can guarantee 100% pleasant CD encounters because not every employee may be on board but having a majority of reports being positive are what makes a place CD friendly. Ulta & Sephora are definitely in that category.
Never hesitate to report an unpleasant employee attitude experience or less than satisfactory service experience to management, particularly at stores which are considered CD friendly.
Management cannot correct or improve what they do not know about.
From my own personal experience in speaking with a Torrid regional manager, Torrid does have a corporate CD-friendly policy.
I have shopped several Torrid stores in a few different states. In the very rare times I have had a less than satisfactory experience, I note on a return trip that the particular employee in question is gone and/or the overall efficiency of the store has improved significantly. It would seem to me that management listens carefully to customer feedback, at least at Torrid.
Either I did not communicate well or my point was missed…
By the time you know the store is not CD friendly, the damage will be done. While I am making it out into public more often, the strides I have made would easily be destroyed by a bad experience in one of these alleged CD friendly stores.
Well, that’s life isn’t it There are no guarantees so all you can do is hope for the best by dressing for the occasion. Look like others and you will blend fine. If your intentions are to pass 100% of the time, I doubt that will happen sadly unless you have extremely exceptional feminine features . There are so many differences between physical genders without any surgeries, ear size, hand sizes, height, facial features, neck size, head size, shoulder vs hips size, voice, the list goes on. Over time, when you come to accept yourself fully, you will let your smile take control and not give a care who knows what. You will also find nobody cares really. People are too busy in their own lives to worry about who you are and if they look at you, so what, don’t you look at people when you are out? Do you care how they live their lives? Smile girl, dress for the occasion, and have fun. Also, tg friendly businesses also promote they are tg friendly because they have hiring policies that say they do not discriminate. It’s good for business.
Some stores clearly state their inclusive support on their website, and some stores train or just hire people with good sense to be polite. I find younger women in many stores to be quite polite. Guys working in shoe stores too. But, it could be where I live.
But…a recent trip to the Dollar store to buy panty liners in guy mode wearing flats got a smirking smile from the young, scruffy haired, sagging clothes guy behind the counter. Like he should smirk…lol.
People will be people. There will always trolls and unpleasant experiences within the greatest environments.
Eg. Not every CDer has another CDers best interest in mind. Even though CD Heaven is a great forum (and I think the best) we are often warned about being cautious about what share, when we share, how we share, and to whom we share.
Great thread! I agree with many of the comments.
From my experience, I have had great experience with the Sephora in Shamburg, IL, whether shopping in guy mode for makeup or in for a makeover. Very friendly and supportive staff! Also have had great experiences at several Torrid stores. They are helpful and will suggest I try on my selections. I frequent one Torrid store where they know me, call be by name when I come in and always have lots of recommendations on what I might like.
As a suggestion, I try to go at off hours, like during the week when the store first opens. Mid afternoon on a Saturday, when they are busy, might not be the best time to go. In any event, the SAs are happy to get a sale and want happy customers who want to come back and buy more!
You have choices, you can stay home, or go out. If you go out, would you rather go to a store that many people report as CD friendly and or one with a CD friendly statement on their website, or one that is not? Sure, it is not a guarantee the people you interact with will respect store policy, but it is more likely they will. Every time we step out into the world we take some chances, but we can mitigate those chances with common sense and foresight, like getting advise on “generally” friendly CD stores. I have no hesitation going into a Torrid store because everybody here who has posted about Torrid has posted good things (not doubt somewhere there is a negative post, but I haven’t seen it.)
Worry less, enjoy life more, play the best odds
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