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  • #380492
    Rachel Raven
    Participant
    Registered On: April 17, 2019
    Topics: 21
    Replies: 72
    Has thanked: 90 times
    Been thanked: 227 times

    Hi,

    Going out for lunch tomorrow with an old friend from my work days.  I am currently in transition (MTF).  I have been debating whether or not to tell him about this.  I don’t know what the reaction might be.  I don’t know whether the friendship will be lost or whether he would out me to others through gossip and talking.  I have come out to some and do more as I go along.  I, so far, have chosen people I have confidence in who will keep it to themselves and let me out myself as slowly or as quickly as I do.  Anyone else go through the same thing and how did you handle it?  Anyone can answer with their thoughts and opinions.

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    • #381440
      Rachel Raven
      Participant
      Registered On: April 17, 2019
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 72
      Has thanked: 90 times
      Been thanked: 227 times

      Hi,

      Thank you all for your comments and advice.  I did tell him at lunch and it turned out to be no big deal.  Nothing in our relationship has changed.  I do believe he will let me come out in my own way.  Turned out to be stress for nothing.  Thank you all again.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #380537
      Sa•man•tha
      Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 195
      Replies: 1299
      Has thanked: 5530 times
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      Hi Rachel, I’m all for honesty but I’m all for caution also.  How close of friend is this and how often do you see one another?  You mentioned some concern about “loose lips” and being outed, would it put you at risk if that happened?  Is there a way you can broach the topic by first throwing out a feeler?  Being honest can take different forms…people I’m close to know what they know, people I’m not as close to can notice what they notice…so, I would say listen to your heart, stay in the moment and be sensitive to the vibe.  Wish you the best Rachel ❤

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #380518
      PY Marshall
      Participant
      Registered On: July 21, 2018
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 167
      Has thanked: 645 times
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      Hi Rachel, If you feel while sitting  having lunch that you feel strong and the conversation is flexible just let it flow ,within  a moment ,a day ,or even a few weeks  you will know if you have a true life long friend , they are rare. Good luck and my heart is with you PY xx.

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    • #380513
      Gloria Renee
      Participant
      Registered On: July 7, 2020
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 136
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      i say if your are in the process of transitioning that honesty is the best policy!

      just be honest with him and if he is a true friend he will understand and stay your friend.

      Look at it this way, since you are transitioning, they are going to find out one way or another.

      Better to be honest now or you may lose them regardless.

      Good luck.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #380498
      Anonymous
      Inactive
      Registered On:
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 182
      Has thanked: 1493 times
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      Hi Rachel.

      I would just be honest and up front. If you dont mention your transitioning your lying to him and yourself.

      I myself told my whole family at a family reunion. I figure this way everyone will know. Plus its all in one day. I never looked back ever since. That was 2003.. Hope all goes well for you….

      Hugs sister

      💋 Natasha

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #380495
      Vanessa Harris
      Participant
      Registered On: July 7, 2020
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 57
      Has thanked: 68 times
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      i say if your are in the process of transitioning that honesty is the best policy!

      just be honest with him and if he is a true friend he will understand and stay your friend.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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