- July 19, 2022 at 1:54 pm #663949СамантаFounderRegistered On: January 21, 2018Topics: 615Replies: 1586Has thanked: 9280 timesBeen thanked: 5526 times
I’ve noticed that some people really, really do not like “labels”. I’m not sure what exactly distinguishes a label as being a label (as opposed to it being anything else), but how would you identify or define yourself otherwise?
Woman, man, wife, husband, worker, lover, person, human… it’s all labels all the way down!! Your name? Even “me” is a label and by the way are you quite positive that you’re really you?
Signed, the sentient carbon unit known as Саманта.
- July 22, 2022 at 8:38 am #664535Kim DahlenbergenLadyRegistered On: November 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 162Has thanked: 103 timesBeen thanked: 511 times
I agree. Labels are not bad things. Humans instinctively seek to classify everything we perceive in the world around us. I suspect the categories start pretty broad and become more specific and numerous as we get to know the world.
The only time I object to a label is when someone attempts to weapon I ever it, either to deny people their rights or to deny people’s existence.
- July 22, 2022 at 12:38 am #664474СамантаManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: January 21, 2018Topics: 615Replies: 1586Has thanked: 9280 timesBeen thanked: 5526 times
Okay. Hey everyone, thank you all for your considered replies here 🙂 I see a couple recurring themes a few of you came back to (the double edge thing, & the box or objectifying thing)
Over on Holly’s thread (insert shameless plug for Holly’s thread here) I posted the following:
This is where I make a distinction: labels are easy, I can respect em, reject em, dodge em, manipulate em…whatever it takes. Underneath whatever label, I also have an identity and so do you. We can thro labels around all day but you own your identity… it is yours and only one person knows the name written upon the stone.
You do own your identity.
I find that often, people try to put me in a “box” and it may not even involve any label (at least not spoken out loud) but some sort of mental expectation based on what they see, or who they think i am, or should be, etc. There are not too many more fun things (to me anyway) than watching the reaction as i smash that box to pieces. There is no label in existence that precludes me from doing so, and likely the same is true for you too, if you want it to be. Sometimes this is simply a matter of “personal growth” for one or both of us.
Bianca mentioned “tranny” and Nancy mentioned “queer”. I remember when thum thar was fightin’ words, and to some maybe they still are. You may note that the Gay community “reclaimed” the word queer, basically by taking ownership of it. And so in this way I feel that it’s possible to blunt the edge of a “bad” label. Sometimes I call myself a tranny because people can see that i’m a fairly average or normal person insofar as how i live. When I was younger, a lot of people called me queer. So what if I am? The definition of queer is odd or weird, the connotation is that I might like guys. No prob, I can own both those. So if you can find a way to own it, you’ve kind of stolen the thunder. That’s my take on it at least.
- July 21, 2022 at 5:19 am #664299Amy CatrelleLadyRegistered On: January 2, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 203Has thanked: 533 timesBeen thanked: 912 times
From Monty Python’s Life Of Brian:
BRIAN: “…You’ve got to think for yourselves. You’re all individuals!”
THE CROWD: “Yes, we’re all individuals!”
BRIAN: “You’re all different!”
THE CROWD: “Yes! We are all different!”
MAN IN CROWD: “I’m not.”
THE CROWD: “Shh…”
- July 20, 2022 at 12:50 pm #664190BeckaLadyRegistered On: January 7, 2017Topics: 99Replies: 1137Has thanked: 728 timesBeen thanked: 2950 times
I personally do not like labels. Ironically someone from the local lgbtq community was giving me a hard time because i do not use pronouns. They kept arguing with me by asking, “well how do you want others to refer to you in you are not in the room?”
Well, how about by name? I reallly dont care. I pointed out to “them” that “they” were more bothered by this than i was!
What was really ironic is, we were having a discussion about how people are “forced to conform to societal pressures…..”
“They” clearly did/do not, understand the concept.
- July 22, 2022 at 12:01 am #664472СамантаManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: January 21, 2018Topics: 615Replies: 1586Has thanked: 9280 timesBeen thanked: 5526 times
This is something I recently had to confront Becka. See, I prefer that people use the feminine set of pronouns for me. Some people just don’t, even some who are close & really ought to know better. Eventually i decided it ain’t my problem, just whatever. I know who I am regardless lol
- July 23, 2022 at 3:30 am #664738
- July 20, 2022 at 5:57 am #664114Michelle McQueenLadyRegistered On: June 14, 2021Topics: 27Replies: 1426Has thanked: 8788 timesBeen thanked: 6941 times
- July 20, 2022 at 4:25 am #664090NancyDuchessRegistered On: May 3, 2020Topics: 28Replies: 367Has thanked: 997 timesBeen thanked: 1813 times
Hmmm, Sam, I have mixed feelings about labels. I think they are used as a way for society to categorize us in nice neat boxes that they can understand. I am non-binary, and reject the simple, black and white thinking. I don’t feel entirely man or woman. But I guess the non-binary label still puts me in a category.
The problem is that people use labels for their own purposes. An LGBTQ+ person may proudly proclaim that they are queer, while a homophobe/transphobe may yell the same thing as an insult. Labels are open to interpretation. So the challenge for me is trying to quit caring what others may label me as, and quit basing my own value on their opinions. Humanity was created naked, we were all born naked. What difference should it make what colors or styles of clothes we cover our bodies with? Why does the label of cross dresser even exist?
- July 20, 2022 at 3:34 am #664081Raquel SmithLadyRegistered On: August 26, 2021Topics: 18Replies: 872Has thanked: 2975 timesBeen thanked: 2845 times
Labels are unavoidable. As are people’s ability to misconstrue them, or purposely twist their meaning from something innocuous into something hateful.
But we can choose to ignore those people. After all, if we’re strong, sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never harm us.
We need to be mindful, though, of our friends, loved ones, and anyone who may be fragile (labels) and pick them up, emotionally if they are hurt but other’s words.
Otherwise, seemingly harmless labels, can still be taken the wrong way by the person being labeled. I, personally, love the trend of trans people choosing their pronouns and respectful people honoring their choice.
I’ll just call you a sweetie. Hope you don’t mind.
- This reply was modified 3 weeks ago by Raquel Smith.
- July 19, 2022 at 7:36 pm #664017Olivia LivinDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: October 22, 2018Topics: 56Replies: 1671Has thanked: 9652 timesBeen thanked: 4774 times
- July 19, 2022 at 9:22 pm #664051Managing AmbassadorRegistered On: January 21, 2018Topics: 615Replies: 1586Has thanked: 9280 timesBeen thanked: 5526 times
- July 19, 2022 at 4:10 pm #663982Lauren MugnaiaDuchessRegistered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 11Replies: 260Has thanked: 2480 timesBeen thanked: 1320 times
Labels, hmmmm, I was always called ‘artist’, ‘photographer’, ‘Dad’, ‘info junky’…
But now, after transitioning, I am proud to wear the label ‘trans woman’, but because of my real birth name, which I wasn’t going by before, most of my friends, co workers and family just call me Lauren.
- July 19, 2022 at 3:26 pm #663978Celeste StarreLadyRegistered On: June 26, 2018Topics: 50Replies: 1452Has thanked: 386 timesBeen thanked: 5329 times
- July 19, 2022 at 3:17 pm #663975Bianca EverdeneLadyRegistered On: April 11, 2017Topics: 30Replies: 951Has thanked: 4137 timesBeen thanked: 4094 times
Personally I have no problem with labels. Hey I don’t mind at all being labelled what I am.
However certain labels are a double edged sword open to interpretation by a person. The term Trans for example. Somebody may see it as simply a man who wants to be a woman or visa versa. But for me it means I am on a journey from my masculine self aligning more with my inner femininity, and outwardly expressing this. Why am I like this?Why do I feel a sense of extreme joy the more I explore this? Well I turned it on it’s head, Why not?
The difficulty is I am swimming against what society, culture, tradition etc expect, and this riles many. How very dare I. Things are gradually getting better.
Whenever I feel it appropriate to bring out the ‘Trans’ label I have been met with acceptance, curiosity, even excitement from females at my journey. I am perhaps lucky to be in an open progressive society largely unencumbered by having to adhere to cultural or religious traditions.
I said it is a double edged sword, it can still be used by abusive ignorant people just looking out for a victim to look good in front of their mates, being called a Tranny is still a derogatory insult insinuating I am some kind of deviant. Probably the same people who will target those of different religions, colour, nationality, culture etc. I try my best to avoid situations where I might come across such individuals, so far so good.
- July 19, 2022 at 9:17 pm #664049Managing AmbassadorRegistered On: January 21, 2018Topics: 615Replies: 1586Has thanked: 9280 timesBeen thanked: 5526 times
They are double edged, or can be. Connotations and all that. Sometimes tho i think that edge can be blunted or taken away entirely. We’re getting into some food for thought for some other posts now Bianca. That’s a good thing 🙂 thanks!
- July 19, 2022 at 2:52 pm #663968Stephanie BassHostessRegistered On: November 30, 2019Topics: 24Replies: 3758Has thanked: 54226 timesBeen thanked: 13216 times
Hi Sam as i havent thought about being labeled before but you are right . Well how many do we have as husband/father/dad//grandpa/Stephanie /girlfriend/great grandpa/lover /working man/provider/ where do we stop ha ha oh CD/Trans /lady /Girl ok i quit ha ha ..
Stephanie the carbon based funny girl.
- July 19, 2022 at 2:49 pm #663967RevelBaronessRegistered On: December 5, 2020Topics: 14Replies: 543Has thanked: 1204 timesBeen thanked: 1898 times
Agreed. I notice the same. I honestly have no issue with being labeled a “crossdresser” or a “CD” and to me, it just identifies who I am, and what I love doing. My sister “Rev’s Sis” and I call each other “sis” all the time, and we love it. Yes, a label can also be your name, and I love my name. It makes me, REVEL! 😀
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