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  • #663949
    Саманта
    Founder
    Registered On: January 21, 2018
    Topics: 615
    Replies: 1586
    Has thanked: 9280 times
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    I’ve noticed that some people really, really do not like “labels”.  I’m not sure what exactly distinguishes a label as being a label (as opposed to it being anything else), but how would you identify or define yourself otherwise?

    Woman, man, wife, husband, worker, lover, person, human… it’s all labels all the way down!!  Your name?  Even “me” is a label and by the way are you quite positive that you’re really you?

    Signed, the sentient carbon unit known as Саманта.

Viewing 12 reply threads
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    • #664535
      Kim Dahlenbergen
      Lady
      Registered On: November 18, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 162
      Has thanked: 103 times
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      I agree. Labels are not bad things. Humans instinctively seek to classify everything we perceive in the world around us. I suspect the categories start pretty broad and become more specific and numerous as we get to know the world.

      The only time I object to a label is when someone attempts to weapon I ever it, either to deny people their rights or to deny people’s existence.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664474
      Саманта
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 615
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      Okay.  Hey everyone, thank you all for your considered replies here 🙂 I see a couple recurring themes a few of you came back to (the double edge thing, & the box or objectifying thing)

      Over on Holly’s thread (insert shameless plug for Holly’s thread here) I posted the following:

      This is where I make a distinction: labels are easy, I can respect em, reject em, dodge em, manipulate em…whatever it takes. Underneath whatever label, I also have an identity and so do you. We can thro labels around all day but you own your identity… it is yours and only one person knows the name written upon the stone.

      You do own your identity.

      I find that often, people try to put me in a “box” and it may not even involve any label (at least not spoken out loud) but some sort of mental expectation based on what they see, or who they think i am, or should be, etc.  There are not too many more fun things (to me anyway) than watching the reaction as i smash that box to pieces.  There is no label in existence that precludes me from doing so, and likely the same is true for you too, if you want it to be.  Sometimes this is simply a matter of “personal growth” for one or both of us.

      Bianca mentioned “tranny” and Nancy mentioned “queer”.  I remember when thum thar was fightin’ words, and to some maybe they still are.  You may note that the Gay community “reclaimed” the word queer, basically by taking ownership of it.  And so in this way I feel that it’s possible to blunt the edge of a “bad” label.  Sometimes I call myself a tranny because people can see that i’m a fairly average or normal person insofar as how i live.  When I was younger, a lot of people called me queer.  So what if I am?  The definition of queer is odd or weird, the connotation is that I might like guys.  No prob, I can own both those.  So if you can find a way to own it, you’ve kind of stolen the thunder.  That’s my take on it at least.

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    • #664299
      Amy Catrelle
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
      Topics: 10
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      From Monty Python’s Life Of Brian:

      BRIAN:    “…You’ve got to think for yourselves. You’re all individuals!”

      THE CROWD:    “Yes, we’re all individuals!”

      BRIAN:    “You’re all different!”

      THE CROWD:    “Yes! We are all different!”

      MAN IN CROWD:    “I’m not.”

      THE CROWD:    “Shh…”

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664190
      Becka
      Lady
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 99
      Replies: 1137
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      I personally do not like labels. Ironically someone from the local lgbtq community was giving me a hard time because i do not use pronouns. They kept arguing with me by asking, “well how do you want others to refer to you in you are not in the room?”

      Well, how about by name? I reallly dont care. I pointed out to “them” that “they” were more bothered by this than i was!

      What was really ironic is, we were having a discussion about how people are “forced to conform to societal pressures…..”

      “They” clearly did/do not, understand the concept.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664472
        Саманта
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: January 21, 2018
        Topics: 615
        Replies: 1586
        Has thanked: 9280 times
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        This is something I recently had to confront Becka.  See, I prefer that people use the feminine set of pronouns for me.  Some people just don’t, even some who are close & really ought to know better.  Eventually i decided it ain’t my problem, just whatever.  I know who I am regardless lol

        4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #664738
          Olivia Livin
          Duchess - Annual
          Registered On: October 22, 2018
          Topics: 56
          Replies: 1671
          Has thanked: 9652 times
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          Eggzackly!

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #664114
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 1426
      Has thanked: 8788 times
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      Always remember we are living breathing organic carbon based beings stuck on this big ball of dirt in the universe…. everything else is subjective and temporary

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664090
      Nancy
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 3, 2020
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 367
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      Hmmm, Sam, I have mixed feelings about labels. I think they are used as a way for society to categorize us in nice neat boxes that they can understand. I am non-binary, and reject the simple, black and white thinking. I don’t feel entirely man or woman. But I guess the non-binary label still puts me in a category.
      The problem is that people use labels for their own purposes. An LGBTQ+ person may proudly proclaim that they are queer, while a homophobe/transphobe may yell the same thing as an insult. Labels are open to interpretation. So the challenge for me is trying to quit caring what others may label me as, and quit basing my own value on their opinions. Humanity was created naked, we were all born naked. What difference should it make what colors or styles of clothes we cover our bodies with? Why does the label of cross dresser even exist?

      Nancy

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    • #664081
      Raquel Smith
      Lady
      Registered On: August 26, 2021
      Topics: 18
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      Camahta,
      Labels are unavoidable. As are people’s ability to misconstrue them, or purposely twist their meaning from something innocuous into something hateful.

      But we can choose to ignore those people. After all, if we’re strong, sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never harm us.

      We need to be mindful, though, of our friends, loved ones, and anyone who may be fragile (labels) and pick them up, emotionally if they are hurt but other’s words.

      Otherwise, seemingly harmless labels, can still be taken the wrong way by the person being labeled. I, personally, love the trend of trans people choosing their pronouns and respectful people honoring their choice.

      I’ll just call you a sweetie. Hope you don’t mind.

      Much love,
      Raquel

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664085
        Raquel Smith
        Lady
        Registered On: August 26, 2021
        Topics: 18
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        One more thought. It never hurts the person being asked to call another by a particular label to honor that request.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664017
      Olivia Livin
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
      Topics: 56
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      Ar Ar Ar

      I get your ‘random’ point, but, I also know you get mine.

      Its the expectations and inclinations that go into the definitions of the somewhat objectifying but not necessarilly objectionable ones my dear.

      Liv

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664051
        Саманта
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: January 21, 2018
        Topics: 615
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        Busted lol 😂 ok so it’s not totally random, my therapist sez i have trouble letting stuff go.  I am piqued by your inclusion of the word objectifying there.  And yes, I do see your side also Liv.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #664197
          Olivia Livin
          Duchess - Annual
          Registered On: October 22, 2018
          Topics: 56
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          Your therapist is wise young one, follow her lead, you should.

          I love your messed up mind sometimes hun, it feels like home lol

          3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #663982
      Lauren Mugnaia
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 1, 2021
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 260
      Has thanked: 2480 times
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      Labels, hmmmm, I was always called ‘artist’, ‘photographer’, ‘Dad’, ‘info junky’…
      But now, after transitioning, I am proud to wear the label ‘trans woman’, but because of my real birth name, which I wasn’t going by before, most of my friends, co workers and family just call me Lauren.

      Hugs,

      Lauren M

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #663978
      Celeste Starre
      Lady
      Registered On: June 26, 2018
      Topics: 50
      Replies: 1452
      Has thanked: 386 times
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      I don’t mind labels but I prefer not to have anything stuck to my body telling anyone what I am or a list of ingredients and definitely not an expiration date.

    • #663975
      Bianca Everdene
      Lady
      Registered On: April 11, 2017
      Topics: 30
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      Personally I have no problem with labels. Hey I don’t mind at all being labelled what I am.
      However certain labels are a double edged sword open to interpretation by a person. The term Trans for example. Somebody may see it as simply a man who wants to be a woman or visa versa.  But for me it means I am on a journey from my masculine self aligning more with my inner femininity, and outwardly expressing this. Why am I like this?Why do I feel a sense of extreme joy the more I explore this?  Well I turned it on it’s head, Why not?

      The difficulty is I am swimming against what society, culture, tradition etc expect, and this riles many. How very dare I. Things are gradually getting better.
      Whenever I feel it appropriate to bring out the ‘Trans’ label I have been met with acceptance, curiosity, even excitement from females at my journey.   I am perhaps lucky to be in an open progressive society largely unencumbered by having to adhere to cultural or religious traditions.
      I said it is a double edged sword, it can still be used by abusive ignorant people just looking out for a victim to look good in front of their mates, being called a Tranny is still a derogatory insult insinuating I am some kind of deviant. Probably the same people who will target those of different religions, colour, nationality, culture etc. I try my best to avoid situations where I might come across such individuals, so far so good.
      B x

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      • #664049
        Саманта
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: January 21, 2018
        Topics: 615
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        They are double edged, or can be.  Connotations and all that.  Sometimes tho i think that edge can be blunted or taken away entirely.  We’re getting into some food for thought for some other posts now Bianca.  That’s a good thing 🙂 thanks!

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #663968
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 3758
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      Hi Sam as i havent thought about being labeled before but you are right . Well how many do we have  as husband/father/dad//grandpa/Stephanie /girlfriend/great grandpa/lover /working man/provider/ where do we stop ha ha oh  CD/Trans /lady /Girl  ok i quit ha ha ..

      Stephanie the carbon based funny girl.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #663974
        Revel
        Baroness
        Registered On: December 5, 2020
        Topics: 14
        Replies: 543
        Has thanked: 1204 times
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        Stephanie,

        It’s nice to know that you take this subject lightly, and also don’t mind being labeled. Stay cool, girlfriend.

        Rev

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #663967
      Revel
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 5, 2020
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 543
      Has thanked: 1204 times
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      Agreed. I notice the same. I honestly have no issue with being labeled a “crossdresser” or a “CD” and to me, it just identifies who I am, and what I love doing. My sister “Rev’s Sis” and I call each other “sis” all the time, and we love it. Yes, a label can also be your name, and I love my name. It makes me, REVEL! 😀

      Peace.

      Rev

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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