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Last weekend, I went into a used bookstore here in town. I usually peruse the SciFi, classics and history section and check a few other spots yet this time I decided to look through the LGBTQ titles and found a copy of a My Husband Betty book mentioned to me recently. Realizing the time, I put it down and headed out to meet up for dinner. I keep thinking about it and wanted to read the whole story. So I went back today to buy it. I will let you know what I think. In the meantime, I was wondering what other books can we recommend to each that can help us along this path we tread.
Although this book goes back to 2003, it is extremely informative, and very interesting. It might even be considered a “users manual” for the CD community. On or about page 46, read how CD Kyrie feels when she’s en femme. I saw so much of myself in this description (but not entirely, because she is at a whole ‘nother level than I am).
I read this over 10 years ago so some of my memories of it may be a bit hazy. Although it was an interesting (if somewhat over-padded) read of the experiences of a partner of a crossdresser it did come across as limited in the range of crossdressers she knew. I sure towards the end she makes an argument that ALL men who crossdress do it as a sexual fetish and if they say otherwise they are in denial. A feeble way of trying to justify something as fact. (Can someone check that : I know something along those lines annoyed me towards the end!)
I found the numerous excerpts from other CDs were perhaps the best part of the book. I’d have preferred more of them and less of her own rambling.
Becoming Nicole, is a great book. Even though Nicole is a Transgender woman, her story inspired me.
It’s not CD/TG as such, but I found Marion Zimmer Bradley’s “The Mists of Avalon” an interesting read. It’s a re-telling of the legend of King Arthur from the point of view of the women in the story. So most of the “big” events – battles and heroics and so forth – occur off-stage and what we see at first-hand are the frequently very lonely struggles that the women and girls have to wage.
I haven’t read any LGBT related books in some time. Back in the day I read most of the books by the late E. Lynn Harris. Others included SHADE, In The Life and Bi Any Other Name.
Currently I’m about 7/8 of the way through (the thing is as big as a New York City phone book!?!?):
HURLEY, From The Beginning.
It is the autobiography of legendary (and now retired) sports car racer, Hurley Haywood, who just happens to be gay…
I’ve been working my way through the entire Dresden Files series, and am now on “Cold Days”, which I think is #14. I have “My Husband Betty” on my Fire tablet, and a WW 2 history “Churchill’s Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare” on order.
Just finished Come Hither : A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex by Dr. Gloria Brame. This is a clinical look/explanation of the fetish community including Crossdressing. Found it very informative. This was ‘suggested’ reading by a local Mistress who is very pro-education. I found it very helpful in helping me decide which direction I want to go with my dressing. Next on the nightstand is Miss Vera’s Cross-Dress for Success by Veronica Vera. Another ‘suggested’ book. Giggles.
Love and Peace,
AmberI have read 3 books recently that you may enjoy – two were fiction and the other non-fiction
‘’Dangerous Crossing’’ by Rachel Rhys has been a popular book since its publishing and has been included in popular literary recommendations in the UK.
The story focuses on a woman who is sailing from the UK to Australia just before the start of the second world war, to work as a ladies maid.
At that time there was a supported emigration program that supported individuals to travel and find work on arrival. Our heroine finds the classless society on the ship exciting when she is thrown together with a group of misfits and wealthy social outcasts.
The ship travels the exotic route south stopping off at various locations and give a glimpse of the different cultures found there at that time.
Of course as you would expect there is a Transgender interest in the story (why else would I be reporting on it here …) an I’ll not disrupt your enjoyment by revealing it here.
However I will discuss the areas of the concept behind the characterisation of the Transgender interest as I feel that the story was sympathetic to their issues and probably correct in its management in the period of the stories setting.
The 1930’s was an era uneducated and intolerant of anything ‘alternative’ despite the roaring twenties having a reputation for ‘anything goes’ and the ‘beautiful people’ of the day.
I enjoyed the read and found the descriptions of the outfits and styles of the day to be exquisite, with the verbal banter and three dimensional development of the key characters two dimensional lives. If you are looking for a light read for the summer or travel book then this would fit the bill!
Paperback: 464 page (Kindle versions available)
Publisher: Black Swan (10 Aug. 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1784162590
ISBN-13: 978-1784162597
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Now for something completely different !
“Trans Britain”
Since I have been out and proud since the 1970’s I have followed the progression of the British transgender community and have been part of its struggles and conquests. During this time a dedicated team of activists took on the British Government and pressed them to change the laws and support those who wished to have their gender reassigned legally. One of the key members of Press For Change was Christine Burns, who, along with Steven Whittle and others such as Mark Rees, took the fight to the courts and to the members of parliament select committees to advise on what could be/should be done.
Obviously they had some success following all their excellent work and we have been the recipients of that effort.
Recently Christine has taken on the challenge to document the progression of the transgender movement from the early sixties to modern times by compiling ‘snap shot stories’ and memoirs from people who lived though that era.
I was honoured to be asked to contribute to the book and provided information on my experiences of the day and provide some of the background literature to support the research and illustrate the book.
My official review from Amazon of ’Trans Britain – our journey from the shadows’’ ”covers, what I feel, the most important time in the history of transgender in the UK.
It is set in the time before computers, internet and iPhones, when all the meetings were word of mouth, secret meetings where held to help protect identities, and early exploration into the transitioning process.
For me this was the time when I first came out, when the night club Disco was still the cool place to go and AIDs was rearing its ugly head.
Christines book captures this in her focused narration and lets others from that era add their voices to the mix giving a good overview of how life for a spectrum of transgender people was back in the day.This includes her insight into the development of ‘Press for Change’ who lobbed governments on our behalf and the development of proper care pathways, work rights and visibility in society, things we take for granted nowadays.
I enjoyed the read and found the way the book is compiled easy to dip in and out, reading about each individuals story and build up a colourful impression of the period and put myself in their shoes with hindsight to fill in ‘what happened next’. ”
Hardcover: 400 pages (paperback and kindle versions available too)
Publisher: Unbound (25 Jan. 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1783524715
ISBN-13: 978-1783524716
……….
“The Boy in The Dress” – Well, the title does give the plot away somewhat, but the book is a delight to read.
David Walliams is a popular British actor in the UK, and is a co-creator of the popular ‘Little Britain’ seen on British television — where he and Matt Lucas are renowned for their comical female characters, but not always presenting the Trans Community in a good light.
David has turned his attention to books aimed at children — and the topics cover a range of issues that are not often broached in this market. His first book ‘Boy in the Dress’ sets the trend for his other novels in its simple story line, introducing diverse issues with a humor that both children and adults can appreciate.
The story follows a young boy who is from a single parent family. It fortells his daily struggles to survive in school while his father works as a lorry driver to support the family, all the while emotionally scarred of losing his wife, finding solace in binge eating.
Our 12-year old hero is a star player on the school football team but has no support from home, and misses his mother.
He buys a copy of Vogue magazine that has a picture of a dress similar to the one his mother used to wear, but suffers the wrath of his father when the magazine is discovered and endures taunts from his brother, calling him Denise in place of Dennis.
On the same day, after his kick sends the football flying through the headmaster’s window, Dennis is kept after school as punishment and meets Lisa. When Lisa finds that they both are interested in fashion, she invites Dennis to her house and eventually gets him to agree to be dressed in a lovely blue dress she has made, and the adventures begin…
The story touches on a range of modern issues, with diversity and inclusion at its core. Some of the characters are from other cultures found in Britain and have a key part in the book explaining some of the cultural differences.
The main focus of the book however is on crossdressing, but the subject is never named other than ‘wearing a dress’.
Terms like transvestite, transgender, drag etc. do not find mention anywhere in the story and I think that this is a significant positive feature of the book.
A child is not going to worry about a label to signify a particular trait, they are going to ‘say it as they see it’, so by having a story that keeps to simple visual vocabulary the reader can identify with the main character without any stigma being attached.
The majority of the characters have inbuilt flaws, such as the father’s anger at his wife leaving them, and this builds an intricate surroundings which many readers can identify with as being realistic.
The story is a little gem and introduces crossdressing in a positive, non-judgmental way, showing the reader that it can be acceptable to crossdress if they feel that they would like to and, as you would expect, provides a happy ending.
Overall I feel that this presents a positive message for the Trans community and may help redress the balance slightly, of the comical portrayal from the television series.
It may be useful to parents who are looking for a way to introduce the subject to younger children as a way of bringing the subject into conversation through discussions about the book.
Available in all formats and video on youtube
- Paperback: 240 pages
- Publisher: HarperCollinsChildren’sBooks (4 July 2013)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 9780007279043
- ISBN-13: 978-0007279043
- ASIN: 0007279043
hugs Dawn x
I usually just read books about music and given the awkward conversations, I have not delved into anything about dressing, but I just finished a great book with a little bit about being en femme in there. It was ‘One Dumb Guy,’ the more recent book on the Kids in the Hall. It was written by close associate (and apparently prolific writer of some other books I will want to check out) Mike Meyers’ brother. I would call ie essential for any fan of the troupe and it certainly makes me hope Scott Thompson will write his own book some day – unbelievable life he’s had!
In the last week I’ve read Free the Darkness by Kel Kade, The Pictire of Dorian Gray and I reread the tales of beedle bard last night. All very good though Free the Darkness was not what I expected. Went in expecting epic fantasy but it isn’t. Plan to start Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson today (I love his books).
It’s a great read , enjoy 😊
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Thankyou so much for your recommendations Dawn, I bought all three books from Amazon and thoroughly enjoyed A Dangerous Crossing. The Boy in a Dress was delightful and I am now about a third of the way through Trans Britain which evokes the 70s and 80s so well. I also bought and read It Never Goes Away which was a little repetitive but had so many truths in it. And the title is in the text late in the book and made sense for it to be revealed at that point. I loved it.
Gianna
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Thursday’s at Eight by Dawn Macomber is fiction and a real women’s book. I have a friend here on CDH who attends women’s lunches and this book reminded me of her. It is about four women who are all very different dealing with issues in their lives. They form a breakfast group and each Thursday meet to chat. The reader almost becomes the fifth woman in the group as you become friends with these women and share their pain, joy and triumphs. And yes, I smiled and cried with them too.
Gianna A farewell to arms
I just went back to my old first edition copy of ‘Our Band Could Be Your Life’ expecting to hate it now and it’s actually been a pretty good read. However, I had just finished ‘Trouble Boys’ and Bob Mould’s autobiography, both of which are a lot better. If you’ve been thinking about reading those, definitely do.
I pretty much just started reading They/Them/Their by Eris Young. They (their preferred pronouns) are genderqueer and the book is largely about how they and others they’ve talked to see and express being genderqueer or nonbinary. They’re very upfront that it’s not a “scientific” book but their attempt to explain “genderqueerness” and “nonbinaryness” (sorry, it’s late and the words just aren’t coming) to those both in and outside the LGBTQ+ community. Kindle says I’m only 10% of the way through it (page 36) but already I haven’t read anything like it, ever.
Although if I was just coming into the transgender community today I would probably still identify as an androgyne, given that “genderqueer” seems to have lost much of the… social activist?… use/perception it partly had 20 years ago I’m quite comfortable with people seeing me as one of many ways to “be” genderqueer. This book has a lot to do with my change of feeling about the identity.
I just finished “We Sold Our Souls” by Grady Hendrix – if you are a fan of metal, and enjoy a good horror/suspense novel, I highly recommend it.
I just started ready “Sissy” by Jacob Tobia, and this passage from the intro blew my mind. I have almost exactly the same memory of “dress up time” in kindergarten…
“…as I remembered dress-up time in kindergarten. For most of my classmates, this was a vital space in which to explore identity, fostering creativity, theatricality, emotional development, and empathy. It allowed them the space that they needed to imagine their futures, who they could be, and who they might become. For me, dress-up time was none of those things. During the course of my childhood, I came to associate dress-up time simply with a sense of longing. I longed to wear pink, to try on frilly garments, to envelop my body in sequins and cover my lips with bright lipstick. I longed to prance in a dress, to dance in a tutu, to flounce about in a tiara, queen for a day. Instead, I was relegated to trying on oversize blazers, doctor’s jackets, or construction vests. Through social pressure and gentle corrections by teachers, I was steered away from anything with the slightest edge of femininity. Eventually, my options became so limited that i gave up dress-up time altogether, choosing instead to sit in a corner drawing quietly on my own, enviously watching girls in my class sport layers of tulle.”
One of my earliest memories was of being in kindergarten, and watching one my male friends actually try on some of the girls dress-up clothes. I distinctly remember a black and green sequined dress with matching hat. I was soooo jealous, because he actually had the guts to try it on. I wouldn’t even try…anyway, looking forward to reading the rest of this book.
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