- Denial, Non-Acceptance
- Swap Out of some clothes
- All Clothes 'Not My Look'
- Worried about being found out
- Lost Interest, no longer needed
- Bored & Frustrated
- Other (please specify)
- This topic has 15 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by .
Recently I have been considering the reasons for my past purges over the years and how I felt at the time. So heres a brief history of my purging ….
- I was only really able to crossdress regularly from the age of about 25, from then on my purging had various reasons. Initially shame/guilt then as time went on it changed to being bored/frustrated that I had so little and couldn’t achieve what I wanted; I could barely get clothes in my size (UK 24) – so I only had a very small selection to wear.
- In my early thirties I’d managed to find more clothes in my size but still not that many. But able to build some decent basic outfits. I had two purges over a five year period, both happened after I looked in the mirror and had the ‘I am a woman feeling’ –Denial & Non-acceptance.
- When I was 35 – I reached the point of acceptance – no purges followed over the next 6 years.
- During my 40’s I didn’t dress at all; I disposed of everything when I was 41.I just didn’t seem to be that interested.
- In my early 50’s I was able to dress about once a month. During this period my reasons for purges were mainly just for a swap out of clothes and also sometimes I was worried that my small stash would be found.
- In my late 50’s I purged twice, the main reason was that the clothes I had weren’t right. It was like I’d explored an avenue and reached a dead end.
- My last purge was when I was 60, it was about 18 months ago in the winter – suddenly the whole thing seemed untenable – oddly irrelevant – my clothes were nice, but the look wasn’t me – they were not ‘my clothes’ it was like I was wearing someone else’s clothes – I was changing – some inner shift occurred it was as if my ‘female self’ had dissolved – I disposed of everything. I started again 2 months later, I just felt incomplete with out being able to dress – but weirdly everything I’ve bought since then I’ve absolutely adored, I’ve been very selective (even fussy) – I now feel my wardrobe contains ‘my clothes’ – my look.
At the moment I don’t anticipate purging again. I want to keep my girl clothes, even when I feel I may not need them I’ll keep them because I know the need will return and besides that I love being ‘girl me’ and feeling complete.
What was the reason for your last purge ? How did you feel at the time ? Why did you start dressing again ? Was there a specific trigger that started you dressing again ?
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.