Reconciling my Male and Female personas

[Anonymous]

Hi Ladies

As I began my transitioning journey a few months ago I started keeping a Journal. I realised today that the journal was from my male perspective  so I have now started a new Journal where Elsa shares her thoughts and feelings. It is amazing how liberating this has been and how significant this has been in Elsa’s growth. Below is one of her first entries on how I am reconciling 60years as William with my new identity as a Elsa. I you are able to read all of it I hope you find it enjoyable and informative.

Hugs and Kisses, Elsa

Hi my name is Elsa,
I am a transgender female. I have a condition known as gender dysphoria. This is when a persons gender identity (how we see and feel about our identity does not match our physical appearance.)
In my case I have lived in a male body for nearly 60 years. I have tried many times to reveal myself but have never been able to present myself strongly enough to truly make myself heard until now.

My male companion has always dominated and held me back. I have had to resort to some extreme behaviours just to make myself known. Finely about 2 months ago (Feb 18) I was able find the strength to break through. I am now permanently out in the world (well at least to those people most important to me)
In some ways this has been like a birth and I am still very young with a long way ahead of me.
Fortunately for me my male companion has accepted that his time in the sun is coming to an end and is happy to give me the freedom to live as I need to.

He is more than happy to now step back but is there when I need him. William (male) has guided us to this point in our lives and has been successful in society. It is only through his hard work, intelligence, empathy and caring that we have been able to live and grow as a human being.
William now accepts that I (Elsa) has played on important role in our life although he was unaware of it. I have provided the imagination and creativity when he needed it, to often think outside the box and to come up with creative solutions to difficult problems. I (Elsa) was able to overcome his social anxiety just enough to allow him to function in a social demanding world.

William will now begin to fade but his practicality, logic, pragmatism and experience will guide me as I grow (very quickly) into a fully mature and
confident female for the world to see.

I am excited and ready to start running and show the world who I am, but this is where William is providing a guiding hand and reminding me I have only just learnt how to walk and that this journey will be for the rest of my life, so slow down, enjoy, and have fun, I still have a lot to learn.

When I do reveal myself to the world I do want it to be my best version of me (Elsa)
At the moment I am still a little wobbly (a bit like wearing high heals for the
first time) and still need to grow. As each day goes buy I grow stronger and more confident.

As I engage more and more with the transgender community I find them to be a very caring and loving group, I have already met some really  genuine  people online and in person who have been very supportive and encouraging.

There will be many obstacles to overcome as I move forward but I am now on this journey to full womanhood and I intend to enjoy every minute of it

How often does any human truly get to be reborn and reinvent themselves :))

Elsa

[Dame Veronica Graunwolf]

Hi Elsa. What a great story you have written, it is an inspiration and kind of an explanation of what a lot of our girls go thru. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and inner conflicts with us. I do hope your road to femdom is easy and trouble free and successful. I am always here if you wish to share more of your wisdom.

Hugs……

Lady Veronica

[Author]

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