• This topic has 25 replies, 22 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #408512

      Quick question for you ladies.

      Do you find it odd/strange/confusing or whatever if you refer to your feminine side personality/persona as a separate entity from you daily drab self?

      I know many of you are just YOU but as hard as I try to avoid over labeling, right now Rei and my male drab self seem entirely different and for convenience sake I talk and think of Rei as her own, rather than just another aspect of me.

      Confused?
      I think I just confused myself……lol

    • #408516
      Prudence
      Ambassador

      I refer to Pru that way also. At first it seemed odd. But not any more. They are different people.   Hugs Pru

    • #408519

      Just because Bobbi Sue refers to herself as Bobbie Sue doesn’t mean Bobbi Sue has issues.   I mean, so Bobbie Sue has two first names?   You like Bobbi Sue, right?   What? I can’t hear you….   You don’t want to make Bobbi Sue mad do you?   Bobbi Sue get crazy mad…

      😂😅😂

      • This reply was modified 3 years ago by Bobbi Sue.
    • #408524

      Rei

      I dont think its strange at all.  “Robyn” could easily consume my entire day and night if I let her/me?  There’s things my male self need to do like work, run to the store, chase girls (LOL!) etc.  I still like my male self too.  Sometimes you just need that mental break.  It is like another person in a way though,  and sometimes you just have to save “Girl” time for later. Hello?  Hi Robyn!  Hold Please!

      Robyn 😊

    • #408525
      Anonymous

      i guess i dont do that. is there something wrong with me? i just keep them both separate. i know my male side will do shopping for rachel and rachel will shop for rachel. but rachel won’t shop for my male side and my male side won’t shop for himself either. i guess its all about rachel. i guess as long as rachel is happy, all is good.

    • #408530
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador

      What, you saying this is odd or something Rei? 😂😂 .  As a Gemini I am authorized by law to have ( at least ) two sides to my personality, and I get along well with me.  Lol.

      Really tho, yeah.  That 3rd person/ other person is just the real me that society has forced me to suppress all my life.  Only fair I should acknowledge me… to myself …. since I do live with myself.  This may explain why I talk to myself….🤔

      Stevie

    • #408535
      Anonymous

      I think of Kristin as separate and distinct from the male side of myself. My daily life has to be handled in drab mode but I get to enjoy my fem side fairly often.

      One thing I find strange, and it really surprised me, is that I seem to be regarding parts of my physical body in different ways. I used to bite my nails but now I regard them as Kristin’s nails and I’ve started to care for them pretty fastidiously. Every time I start to mess with my nails, an internal voice reminds me that they belong to Kristin and I need to leave them alone…lol.

      I’ve also made it a goal to look good in a bodysuit and women’s jeans so I’ve started a regiment to bring in my stomach. Again, I have to remind myself to keep up on Kristin’s exercises when I start to slack off.

      This mindset seems to have grown organically out of my psyche and it’s definitely something I’ve never experienced before.

    • #408547

      I have this fairly easy as driving a Semi, I can say that Patrichia drives the truck and does needed business away from home in truck. When I get home the Male side goes home to the wife. Yes she knows that Pat drives and has “met” Pat. She’s OK with it and being that I can now relate to her about some if the women issues our conversations and phone calls have brought us closer as a couple. we have the added benefit right now that some the clothes
      I own for Myself fit her and vice versa. She is attempting to lose a size or two so this is short term, but that means that some of her stuff doesn’t have to head off to the donation bucket. But in conversation if I want her to know that it’s not the guy she married chatting, I refer to he topic by prefacing the comment with something like: Well as, Pat I think….

      so nope, not wierd at all.

    • #408612
      Anonymous

      Good evening, Rei

      How do I explain this?  I think of myself as Bettylou full-time, but I need to appear as my male persona at least half of the time – for now, anyway.  When in male mode, Bettylou is spoken of in the 3rd person, but that is a limitation imposed by the English language, to identify my external appearance to whomever is reading or listening to me.     “Bettylou” is me when my external look agrees with how I see myself in my mind’s eye.

       

    • #408659
      Emily
      Lady

      Good question. I hadn’t thought about. I do refer to Emily in the 3rd person. I don’t think it’s weird. I also refer to my male self in the 3rd person at times. They are two separate entities who happen to share one body. Now I’m confused.

    • #408664

      What an interesting question which, in many ways, goes to the heart of the double lives all of us have either lead at some point or are currently living.

      At one level, I can’t escape the feeling that the slightly odd 3rd person referrals are simply a limitation of the English language and the surrounding culture that doesn’t seem to have sufficient constructs to permit fluid discussions around topics such as this – our language gives us the binary choice ‘male’ or ‘female’, ‘he’ or ‘she’ and only very recently has evolved words to begin to describe something in-between, right now, at least to my way of thinking, those new words are rather jarring, still difficult to use in normal conversation and mean subtly different things to different people. I have no idea whether life is easier in other languages and cultures where the concept of a ‘third sex’ is more accepted, e.g. the Hijra in India but the existence of a short, simple, generally accepted word for the concept must surely help.

      On a personal level, this lack of useful language makes it difficult for me to talk about ‘me’. Legally, physically and in terms of my current day-to-day interactions, I am most definitely a ‘he’ – no one in my current life has known me as anything else nor treats me as anything else; to declare right now that I am a woman would be perverse. That wasn’t always the case, in the past, I’ve lived as a woman for quite extended periods and while I was never very close with anyone during that time, I certainly had people who recognized me through normal interactions and who were familiar with me being a ‘she’ and treated me accordingly – my guess is that they would have found it just as shocking if I had declared to them that I was a man (although I suppose I could have supplied evidence to support that assertion!)

      However, continually using words like ‘he’ and ‘she’ in a sentence is unquestionably awkward and impersonal and for me, the best I can manage to try and articulate what I am saying is to refer to my life as a woman as ‘Rachel’s Life’ and my life as a man as ‘my current existence’. As I think about longer term transitioning, I hope that ‘Rachel’s Life’ will merge and take over ‘my current existence’, but for now, despite its inelegance, it’s all I have.

      Rachel xx

    • #408667
      Anonymous

      When I refer to my time of putting on makeup, a wig and some clothes, I often refer to that as “Kay time.” It feels fine to say it that way.

      At my old job, we had to write part of own yearly review. I used to write about myself in third person. One time my manager mentioned to me that to me. He said that I was the only person that works for him and writes that part of the review that way. He said it fine that I did that, Idk, it just felt right.

      Kay

    • #408669
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      When I began dressing and going out as Patty, I considered her a separate entity from me. even tough I had been out shopping and going to parties so many times. Even though some other partiers even knew me as Patty and my male self, I still considered my Patty life to be a secret.

      Sure, Patty was part of me but I considered her a separate person. When I transformed into her, I was not me anymore. Maybe that’s how I rationalized it and helped myself push through paralyzing fear. What’s to be afraid of. Patty is not me. She is Patty. The girl who loves to wear shiny pantyhose, stiletto heels, short dresses and have her pretty hair and makeup looking just right. She loves getting looks, attention, compliments and adulation. She loves to party and wants to be the sexiest and most desired girl in the room. She loves the attention and compliments. When I’m not Patty, I’m not like that.

      I guess I’m referring to her in a third person.

    • #408697
      Anonymous

      I guess I do consider myself  I, him or her. “I” make “him” do the all  work (40+ hrs., home/auto repairs, cut firewood etc.)so when it’s time for “her” to let her hair down, she can.  Not sure of strange, sometimes tough to manage.

      Polly

    • #408712

      I am Paula, simple and short.  I don’t think that I use the third person much, at least that have noticed.  The ‘other half’ is simply referred to as Grumpy, Ol’ Grumpy, or just ‘him’ or ‘he’.  He is not around much, but shows up when there is some heavy lifting to do or furniture to move, things like that.

      My nieces actually seem a little uncomfortable around him as they have known me so much more in their lives.  I guess I will need to pay more attention to how I say things to see if I do.  If any of you girls notice, let me know.

      PaulaF

    • #408830
      Anonymous

      Well, I have said before, we CDs seem to have the ability to be both a male version and female version of ourselves. I am simply one  person that lives my life in two different ways, and can interact mentally with both. But simply I am he that can be she, or she that can be he.,yet all the time both are me. The only difference is as Amanda my life is more relaxed and I seem to be able to solve problems better.

    • #408852
      Anonymous

      Wow….the more I read, the less I understand.

      I spend my time probably 75% grace, 25% ” him”….but we definitely share the same body, grace just looks after it better when she is using it!!. Although it’s one person, it’s really two people who do everything totally opposite…I can’t explain why but that’s just how it is…and then theres the ” third” person…now I’m confused again…..

      isn’t that me, my mirror and my coffee table???

      dazedly, grace xx

    • #408854
      Anonymous

      [postquote quote=408852]
      Well it’s simple Grace, the me  is you, the mirror is the reflection of you  as she, and the coffee table holds the story of he that can be she but is actually you  known as me, as one together as i.

      • #408864
        Anonymous

        Brilliant…so well thought out and explained, if only Rei had said that in the first place!!! ..now where did I put that JD??

    • #408857
      Siobhan
      Lady

      I am the same person, not 2 people, more female but housed in a male body.

      Sharon is a name I only use online as I am not out to everyone.

      I normally go by my given name, which just happens to be non gender specific.

    • #408875
      Anonymous

      [postquote quote=408864]
      Mines a double

    • #408920

      Love love LOVE all the fantastic responses this has generated and I wish I had the time right now to respond to each and every one that’s offered their own take.

      If I wasn’t clear in my first question, I ABSOLUTELY don’t think it’s weird odd or strange whatsoever, and as several ladies have already pointed out, in this regard the English language is just simply not up to par.

      Thanks all for trying to make sense out of this and I hope its given some food for thought and maybe a smile or two.

      Have a great night ladies, Rei

       

    • #408922
      Anonymous

      [postquote quote=408830]
      This is EXACTLY how I feel about myself. Now, if I could just convince my wife if this fact. But as we all know, a man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still!

    • #409077

      It has always felt odd to me, so I try to avoid it as much as possible. However, there are times when it is needed for clarification.

      One thing to note is that, for me, there are not 2 personalities. There is only one and it is independent of how I am presenting or what I am doing.

      DeeAnn and Don are the same with only some very minor differences. For me, this is how non-binary plays out as I finally realized that I have always had a personality that is an amalgam of female and male…

    • #409122

      Thanks Rei

      This dilemma hit me when I met a therapist for the first time. I arranged the meet via my Bianca email. Arrived in drab male mode and introduced myself in my male name. Second time I was dressed as Bianca and she asked me what I wanted to be called. We spent the hour and she used the name Bianca to address me once or twice. She said I can wear what I want and from now on will go in my wonderful feminine clothes. The thing is I actually felt a lot more comfortable being addressed as Bianca face to face with somebody for the first time.

      A dilemma indeed, Am I living a lie, or have I been living a lie all my life up to now.

      ❤️B

    • #409156
      Anonymous

      Hi Rei

      For me Sarah is the real me whom I can’t talk openly to anyone else other than you ladies. So I find it really strange that I can’t talk openly about her to people who don’t/won’t understand. So to hell with them I am really comfortable with myself.

      Love Sarah xx

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