- This topic has 14 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by
.
- Posts
Good sunny Australian Afternoon ladies,
My beloved of over twenty years has known about Caty,(by accident when I left some jewellery “out”), for about half that time. She is certainly not 100% OK with it and we have settled into the good ol’ “DADT principle”(aka dont ask dont tell).
I find this quite frustrating as I’d much rather be out in the open about it all and not have to go to the lies and lengths I have to do so, to “keep the peace”. The classic example being I wash Caty’s lingerie when she is out and take it to my storage unit about 30mins from home and bung it on a collapsible dryer. Go back two days later to pick it up and bring it home,. to be stored in my chest of drawers, (on the quiet). We sleep in separate rooms, so that’s relatively easy
The storage unit also houses all but a good percentage of all my Caty gear, eg the lingerie above I keep at home. Clothes, shoes ,wigs, make up etc all “down there”. Would be nice to be able to have more here… But not so.
ANNNY WAYYY. I have posted in the past how in retirement I volunteer for a charity that is located over an hours drive from home. So I state that I’m too lazy to drive home and stay overnight in a self contained apartment complex. Voila.. Caty time… I set myself up with food and wine and all my Caty stuff and as the old television host used to say. “And away we go”.
Trip before last, I get home and had not done a good enough job on the make up removal
Her comment,
“Bit too much make up on this time, darling”.
And “that’s all she wrote!!”
It would be so much better to be able to “talk girly” with her, but I know that just aint gunna happen….
I’m waiting for autumn/winter down here, cos that when the arm hair and leg hair is coming off. Been wanting to do the above for ages. So if the make up “blooper” got by, the hair removal should be OK as well.
Happy dressing
Caty
Oh wow, I’m really sad reading your post, the considerable lengths you have to go to just to be you. I wonder, and with a good heart, does your SO really accept Caty or is she in denial (what I don’t know doesn’t hurt me)? Sure we’ve all had to sneak around a bit or be a little extra cautious for the sake of somone’s feelings, but lies…
By the way, how jealous am I that Caty has her own apartment.
Didi💋
It would frustrate me no end ( and its the same with my wife) sleeping in seperate rooms / beds.
I sleep in the raw most of the time, so coming to bed enfemme isn’t an issue.
Sometimes we do things on a conscious, or subconscious level that we know will push our SO away, so we can avoid the intimacy we so desperately crave.
(I don’t know how people afford storage sheds, a second apartment room, or other. ) Then again I spent most of my years as a farm hand, and not used to large wages.
I enjoy hunting and shooting. My wife isn’t into it. I don’t force her to join in. And I rarely say more than, “I missed, I didn’t see anything, or it was a good shot and the animal didn’t suffer.”
I think cding ( at least for me) comes under the same category. Its known about. But doesn’t really warrant mutual participation. (Though my wife will help cut game up, once fully skinned and gutted for dog meat. Or animals we butcher for ourselves.)
I don’t know how people afford storage sheds, a second apartment room, or other.
Thank you for your kind comments Mary Jane.
I worked hard for nearly 40 years helping to run what became a very successful family owned and operated manufacturing /export business . We sold out for a good sum in the early 2000’s and I happily retired. So the storage unit and the overnight stays have been and will continue to be, financed out of the above sale.
Just thought I’d clarify that for you.
Caty.
Hi Caty
Hang in there sister, after the makeup comment I feel you could set up a folding dryer in you room, you and your wife have boundaries and I believe that it works both ways, instead of paying for storage maybe use that money to spend on your wife, maybe a great weekend away or go shopping together, remind how much you love her.
work on times when you can be Caty at home, with Covid here we all need to renegotiate for all our mental health
Best of luck Paula XX
Hi Caty,
I can’t walk in your heels, so I can’t give proper advice. So these are rambling thoughts:
Compromise is essential to any marriage; and my pastor in church today talked about how communication was also essential. So, it seems improper for Caty to be banned from the house.
My wife truly believes it’s sinful for men to wear women’s clothing; but she tolerates Bettylou, and will even go out to lunch with her. In return, I don’t flaunt Bettylou in the house, and I honor her objection to dresses by not wearing one in her presence. Our love allows us to communicate and to compromise. I do hope you two can find a way to agree on something better than what you have now. Caty needs to exist and grow.Hugs,
BettylouI have felt I was in a DADT. I told her, tried to quit, she has found things over the years. But we never talk about it. Last week she saw my screen with a few pics of me on it. I closed it and she asked what I was looking at and I told her it was me. All she said was “I guess you didn’t quit.” I said it always comes back and I am tired of hiding it. She said she didn’t know why I have them online, i said storage, and she left.
Fast forward a few days and i wore panties to bed, the next morning I had a few questions, was she ok with it? Says its not her decision and it is not her preference that I wear panties. She did say she would not throw them out if i had them in the laundry. She did that to a pair she found in the washer a few years ago and told me a few days later.
Today I threw panties in a laundry bag and into the wash I started, she moved it to the dryer as i was getting there and looked in the bag, those things usually get hung up and not dried. All she said was “Oh, its your stash.” and put them in the dryer. Baby steps.
Hi Caty… with my wife, what started as an acceptance is now a 98% togetherness. She is very happy to be with and be seen with Polly and has been telling her friends about me to prepare them to eventually meet Polly. Her mentoring is so necessary for both of us… she is my role model and style guru after all said and done. I’m Polly about 80% of the time now and inching forward to the eventual crossing point. There is still those moments of hesitancy when intimacy beckons and that may take a wee while to come to so I’m going softly, softly. I can’t imagine a life of secrecy or camouflage… it must be depressing at times! But as has been remarked… baby steps even if the time ticks away.
Hugs Polly
Similar story here, the wife accepts and encourages, but I can’t really be ‘out’ while our lad’s home from Uni – dam Covid. It’s why I’m jealous of Caty’s apartment. How cool would it be to open the door, kick off your heels, pour out a BIG glass of prosecco and chill.
Didi💋
- The forum ‘Relationship Advice’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments