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    • #3441
      Claudia C
      Ambassador

      Funny thing. I wasn’t trying to pass or blend in. I was just being me.

      My wife allows me to CD, i keep it to -in and out of the house and the yard.

      I was outside in a mini skirt working on rebuilding the stone retaining wall. It was a 85-90 day and I stopped in the shade of a tree on the front walk. I was suprised to hear my neighbors say. ‘must be getting tired and taking a break’.

      I immediately reccognized the voice and looked over and saw 2 neighbors on the porch watching.me. No questions about what I was wearing. Had to laugh when I heard.one of them.say ‘good pyshique’.

    • #3443

      For me, when I was still a cross dresser, it was in the early 1990s, going to a local gay nightclub, now long demolished. Flashez was on the far south side of Surfers Paradise, and for something to do after a CD group get together, we decided to go to Flashez. I was very nervous, never having gone out nightclubbing, much less been to a gay nightclub, but managed to overcome my fears enough to do it, and to relax enough to enjoy the evening.

      Going out to such supportive venues over the next few years, would make me realize that I didn’t merely want to just cross dress. More that I wanted to be full time.

      As for my first time out in public after starting full time, It was, if anything even more an unexpected turn of events. Having to go public at the last meeting for 1995 for the community housing group I was, and still am, a member of.
      At that meeting, I thought that my going public would shock people. It did, but unbeknownst to me, there was a bigger shock in the offing. The then current company Vice President was stepping down and leaving the organization. And when it came to deciding on who would be her replacement, I was elected into that job. Apart from family matters preventing me from keeping the job in 2012/2013, and having to become the Company Secretary this year, I’d stayed as Vice President.

    • #3453
      Vanessa Law
      Managing Ambassador

      Hey Claudia,

      Hehe, wow! What a wonderful reassuring experience! There’s nothing like acceptance, surprise or otherwise 🙂

    • #3454
      Vanessa Law
      Managing Ambassador

      Hey Jenifur,
      The gay nightclubs have definitely been a welcoming place for many in the transgender community – I remember many of my early nights out at a local club in Seattle – they did 80s night every Thursday. I loved those evenings 🙂

      And wow – what a surprise – and validation of your choice to come out – they definitely wouldn’t have elected you if there wasn’t a lot of acceptance within the group. And acceptance within yourself as well!

    • #4199
      Holly G
      Lady

      My first (and only) time out was far from glamorous, but what a thrill! I was away from my family on a trip for just two nights. I arrived hours before anyone that I was meeting so I took a trip to the mall while underdressed. The shoe store was empty because it was early so I started to browse and found an amazing supply of platform heels in my size (12) ?? so I had to refrain from buying everything in sight! Feeling daring with the empty store I figured why not and tried them on while I was there…this scared the heck out of me, especially when the sales lady came around and saw me!! She was wonderful and complimented my taste. Then suggested a couple other cute pairs for me. It was a blast!!???? I left with two pairs of heels and a lot of positive energy, so that night I got my girl on as best I could. I was in a tight black dress, stockings, my sexy new 4″ heels, and my blonde wig. My hotel room was on the third floor but right across from the stairs so I could duck out across the hallway and head quickly down the stairs. My heart was already about to jump out of my chest! I got to the first floor door and opened it to an empty parking lot right as it started to lightly rain! So I got to try out running across the parking lot in my tight skirt and heels but I managed. I was on such a panic plus exillerated rush at this point I got in my car and didn’t know what to do! So I started to drive around and found a Taco Bell drive through that was open…like I said, it wasn’t glamorous!!? I pulled up and ordered and drove around. I was totally made when I paid but they said nothing and gave me my food. I drove away with my heart pounding and the craziest smile on my face!! I got back to the hotel and made it to the door with only a few others in the lot that glanced at me but that was all. Got back to my room and was thrilled! I know it was ridiculous compared to what so many do daily, but it took so much nerve and ended up being such a great and silly experience for me that it will always be a huge moment for me. Still looking for the next chance to take another step!
      ?????
      Holly

    • #4267

      That is such a great story Holly! While it seems that it would be traumatic to be made, most of the time I suspect it is no big deal. Still it takes guts to go out the first time like you did. Thank you for sharing this.
      Staci

    • #4280

      It just so happens that today was my first experience at going out in public en femme. I had just tried on some new clothes and had minimal makeup on, just a light powder with my brows done and a little mascara and lipstick. I had on skinny jeans and a very tight form fitting gray and black top. I decided I looked so good it was time to step out into the real world for the first time. I decided to walk the dogs. Going out in one’s own neighborhood seemed pretty risky especially since a lot of people would recognize my dogs and I was in my male tennis shoes, however it was late morning and already getting warm so most neighbors were at work or inside. I bravely opened the front door and saw that no one was out in their yard, so I quickly stepped out with the dogs and made my way to the street. I decided to take a direction I rarely walked to minimize being made by someone I knew. soon I came across some street maintenance workers who simply smiled and waved as I walked past. I was trying to act confident and it apparently worked as there was no sense of being made. 40yards later a female pulled out of her driveway and waved at me as she drove past. Hmmm, apparently I was passing at least at a distance. There were several more occasions where I passed people on the street and no one seemed to notice as they said things like nice day, or love you dogs, etc. I got back home completely elated with the experience.

      Now I would like to try the mall. I feel that somehow this could be riskier but I am thinking that being made isn’t the worst thing that could happen. Feeling much freer and empowered than ever before.

      Try it girls you will be glad you did!

      Staci

    • #4291
      Holly G
      Lady

      Way to go Staci!! That takes a lot to go walking around your neighborhood in broad daylight! You go girl!! ????????????
      Holly

    • #4460
      Anonymous

      There are some brave women on this website

    • #4501
      Vanessa Law
      Managing Ambassador

      What an awesome experience Staci!!!
      Lisa, you’ll get there hon, have you found a local crossdresser support group or club? That’s a great way to go out for the first time

    • #4729
      Anonymous

      Thanks Vanessa,

      I met a co-worker/girlfriend of mine took her out for coffee and opened up to her she completely understood and offered to help me any way she could. This site was my first attempt at working through my frustration. I figured the best way to learn about being a woman was to actually befriend someone who is open and would understand.I do need to go online and see whats out there though any sites you would recommend?

    • #6320

      Hey Lisa,

      Hi I hope this helps, first off I have been on a lot of sites that claim to be support sites and I mean a lot. What you have found HERE is by far the best site I have ever found. There are a few other sites that are more geared to girls that are transitioning or have transitioned that have a small CD group. As for just Crossdressing you have found a great home in Crossdresser Heaven.

      Let me know what you are looking for help with because we are looking for some form of direction. Example, I have two issues one I have in-laws that would freak out but I want to tell my 3 kids, who can’t keep their mouths closed for nothing (If you figure that one out let me know) and more importantly I have been dressing for 31 years and I CAN NOT FIGURE OUT HAIR!!! LOL

      Hugs,

      Codille

    • #6372

      Oh I remember…and I’m sure I was a fright. Little black dress that was way too young and way too short for me. Fishnet stay ups, black heels. A 3/4 wig  with a headband and my bangs brushed over my forehead. Makeup – well, I seem to remember bronzer, blush, lipstick, mascara, eye shadow. Out of the hotel and down the stairs and right into the car. Slowly drove to a nearby casino – I already knew my route in and what slot machine I would sit down in front of.

      Probably walked like a man, avoided eye contact. Right down the escalator, right to the machine only a few steps away. Played for maybe 15 minutes, facing the machine. It was off in kind of a corner, not too many people coming by.

      Got real nervous, so got up and left. Some people did look, but most didn’t seem to notice. One older man openly stared – it was clear he knew what he was looking at, didn’t quite know what to do about it. Back through the garage to the car. Thankfully, the side door at the hotel worked – it hadn’t earlier in the day. Back to the room.

      I was scared silly the whole time, but loved every minute of it, too.

    • #6826

      It was certainly not what I was expecting. A few months before my 60th birthday I came out to my wife and a couple of my kids. Having it out in the open I decided it was finally time to go for it. Not having any clue, cloths, make up experience, etc. I decided I needed help. I found a cross dresser makeover service in Seattle and one in Portland. Unfortunately I didn’t get very comforting feelings about Seattle, but was met with warm welcome with Portland. So I booked a “Night Out” make over service. She has a boutique there so we tried on cloths, got shoes, showed me some fashion tips for my body size, tips on mannerisms, walking in heels (which turned into wedges, since I was an ankle break waiting to happen).

      Unfortunately I chose the hottest day of the summer – was about 98 degrees that day so no one was out and about that night. I was a bit let down, but did go out for dinner with the hostess and her friend. Had a nice quiet dinner went out to a couple of night clubs. Although I was a bit disappointed that there were only a few others out, I did have a wonderful time.

      What surprised me the most, is how relaxed I felt, of course having an escort was an essential factor in my comfort, I am certainly ready to take another road trip to Portland and really looking forward to the Espirit Conference next year.

    • #6900

      98F… About 36.6C… not nice temperatures.

      Hope the humidity wasn’t high as well.

    • #7044

      Staci,

      All I can say is for a first time out, that is amazing. Congratulations on taking your first steps!!

      Codille

    • #7048

      Well my first time out was a little more safe but a lot of pent up anxiety over stepping out went with it. I was on a business trip in a beach town off season, like November/December. I had a condo on the second floor of a complex and there were only a few cars in the parking spaces of the building. I had brought EVERYTHING in two Tupperwares. I had no idea what I was going to do when I had left home so you wing it right. So I get all appropriate undergarments on and look at a very sad looking selection of clothing. Winter at the beach, a skirt sounds good, huh, on it goes. I did have in my trusty buckets a warm long sleeve blouse, winner and hey it pairs up with the black knee length skirt. On go the pantyhose to help with warmth since I had shaved my legs. Wig, not a good one, make-up amateur, nails bright red of course but look AWESOME! Now the moment of truth, flats or heels. I walked around the condo and out to the patio in the heels and the wind felt awesome on my legs. Even waved to a couple three doors down. So after a little liquid courage and a change into flats I went down near the water on the beach. Couldn’t tell you for how long but had to have been over an hour. Did come across a few folks and got some strange looks but I think it was more for the fact that I was seriously under clothed (AKA should have been in jeans and a sweatshirt it was so chilly.) Got back to the condo, toasted success with a bottle of wine (yes the whole bottle… I was cold and totally freaked out but what I had finally done), got warm by taking a long bath and cleaned myself up. Put on my warmest, not my most elegant since it was chilly in the condo, nightgown and called my first time out a success and passed out.

      Funny thing is, in the summer I hate the beach. It is to warm and too crowded for me but that night the sky was clear and the stars were out, made for a perfect night.

      Codille

    • #7050
      Holly G
      Lady

      CB, you crack me up!

      Now I see why you said it was ok for me when I required some liquid courage this weekend to go out for my first actual walk in a public crowded place!

      You story sounds amazing though. I would love a walk on the beach under the stars like that. Don’t get near too many beaches very often so it seems even cooler in my mind.

      It is so wonderful how many of us have had a great experience to share on their first time out! I hope it helps others to give it a shot!

      It can be an amazing experience to cherish!

      ????????????

    • #7053

      Codille that sounds like a wonderful time and something I would have done – not dressed appropriately for the weather, but definitely dressed to make me feel feminine.  I’m sure you looked fine, if a bit chilly. The beach in the winter is wonderful – even if it is freaking cold sometimes.

      One of the things I am working on is dressing appropriately – and the reality that hits me often is that women wear slacks and jeans – a lot. A lot more than they wear skirts and dresses. So I am trying to get my head around the fact that to blend in sometimes wearing slacks, even though they don’t feel as feminine, is the appropriate thing to do.

    • #7056

      Millie,

      I agree they do wear more jeans and slacks, but darn it my legs look good in hose and I don’t get out much so I want to show them of… HAHAHAHAHA!!!

      I just had an amazing thing happen and one of the results was getting a good look at my wardrobe with out it being in piles. I NEED WINTER CLOTHES!! You have a few hundred you can lend me??? 🙂

      Your Awesome!!

    • #7078

      I can relate to what you’re saying, <span style=”color: #a51e64;”>Codille</span> I have great looking legs as well, plus I spend lots of money on pedicures every month and my toes are just awesome. My nail lady does awesome work. I where pants and cowboy boots most of the time, so any chance to show off my legs and toes always takes priority.

    • #7297
      Anonymous

      My first experience stepping out was in late may of this year (2015). I had taken some leave (military vacation time) to try to clarify a few things in my head (which both worked and backfired). A friend had given me the very bare essentials in the way of makeup, and a few pointers on the application thereof. I had made some purchases online in the way of clothes and proceeded, on a Tuesday morning, to apply my makeup and don the white gypsy skirt, corset, and light grey shark-tooth top to “get a feel for things”. I sent pics to my friend and complained that the lipstick she had given me wasn’t a favorite shade, and that I had half a mind to walk to the Rite-Aid drugstore on the corner of my block to select a better. To which she replied, “Why don’t you?”
      And I did. It was 9:00 in the morning, so the store had just opened but the young lady who was my cashier either didn’t notice or didn’t care that I was not a “genetic female”. All in all a good first outing. My second outing was the following Thursday, and I went to the mall… I intended to size clothes at Torrid ( I had heard they were very Trans* friendly) but as I felt I might need color corrector/concealer for my “5 o’clock the following afternoon” shadow (I don’t grow much facial hair, and what I do grow doesn’t come in fast) I stopped at Sephora to ask a few questions. I ended up with a full makeover, and compliments on my sexy, sexy boots, and enough validation to cause a whole sorority to abstain from premarital sex. I then proceeded to Torrid, chickened out and just bought some jewelry, and got suckered by the “let me sell you some skincare products to remove 20 years from your face” kiosk gentleman. His flattery may not have been fully real, but I ate it up like a death row inmate’s last meal. I was riding so high on the ego boosts I’m surprised I wasn’t the first Trans* on the moon!
      After that outing, and how I felt, I knew I had to open up to my wife; which is when the whole world flew to pieces…

      NOTE:  no liquid courage was used in the making if these experiences… Sheer bold gutsiness, stupidity, and a will to accept whatever consequences may come from the excursions got me thru.

    • #8474

      It was a great experience. Maybe I had some luck because I did not have a very good outfit and I was not that skilled at makeup. I walked to the bus stop (after looking at myself in the mirror for a while and trying to work out whether I would pass) then got a bus to the city centre and went round several shops. I bought a skirt and top, some underwear and some eyeshadows. One dodgy moment was when I stood up on the top deck of the bus, forgetting that I was taller in high heels and I nearly dislodged my wig!

      Since then I have gone out dressed a number of times in various towns and cities and it has usually gone well. It is a great thing to do if you can.

    • #8477

      Great story Louise,

      Sound like we need to all come to you for tips and courage!

      Codille

    • #9813
      Anonymous

      Not at all silly, Holly.   Many first time out experiences are very similar.  that sense of daring, panic, and omg I am doing it.  Good luck in future.  ps: it does get easier.

      My first time out as a woman was also the first time I used my femme name in public.  I was supposed to meet a fellow cd at a local gay bar (Zingers -now long gone) but got an email saying she had to cancel due to unexpected out of town company.  So I checked out the bar online and found it was a gay bar run by a cd and his wife.  Not being brave enough to go out en femme yet, I went out in drab late at night.  For several hours I was the only one there.   I ordered a drink from the female bartender.   She was clearly a cd and looked very nice.   Got brave enough to go en femme the next night and went back to the same bar.  Again I was the only one there for an hour.  I arrived as a Blonde and ordered a drink from a male bartender.   The girl who served me the night before was finishing up her paperwork and about to go home.   I addressed her by name and she looked at me with a ‘do I know you’ look on her face.  I smiled and she was clueless.

      The high point of the night was when I sat at the bar and the bartender asked, ‘what’ll you have little lady?’  It was perhaps out of curiosity that he asked my name and with just the slightest hesitation I told him my femme name.  It was THE thrill to be called by that name.

      My next milestone came during early summer.  School was out.  The residents of my apt complex were largely black and hispanic with a few white folks.   It was 7 pm; children were out playing and their parents and other adults were out.   I was off to a cd support group meeting.  Talk about panic as I had to leave my apt in daylight with all those people out there.  Literally it took me 45 minutes to finally get out of the apartment.  I managed to get to my car and out to the meeting.  It got easier as I finally decided, get used to me people, I am here and not going away.

      I

    • #10730
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      Great analogy.  I’ve done the same thing-driving while dressed(could call it DWD !) but was not nearly so brave as you going through the drive thru!  I’ve ALMOSt done that but chickened out.  Most recent was late last night when I drove back from out in the country to my house completely dressed incuding wig and makeup and breastforms.  A more careful drive you’ll never see than us crossdressers driving while dressed!

       

      Cynthia

    • #11027
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      Have I ever been out in public dressed as  a woman? I had driven home at night from my ex’s house after dropping off the kids post-divorce and would slip on a wig, lipstick, earrings, blouse and bra with padding and skirt and heels and driven home-constantly on edge between the thrill and excitement of being seen (at a distance-at night) by others as a woman and the fright and panic of trying to drive perfectly so I didn’t get pulled over by a cop while dressed!

       

      So-encouraged by Codille who has hear this story already-here is the story of my longest time in public while fully dressed.(it’s a little long-sorry!-pics will follow in the Share your outfit group)

      Keys are the key!

       

      I have season tickets to Virginia Tech football games and a friend and I usually go to them together-but on THIS occasion, something came up and he couldn’t go so I went by myself.  On a whim (though I did THINK about it for a while) I decided that I would bring along an outfit for Cynthia and after the game was over and I was preparing to drive back home, I would change into the outfit and let Cynthia drive home the 200 plus miles from Blacksburg to Richmond.

       

      It was a great game(we crushed Furman) and it ended at about 630PM-not dark yet and didn’t want to get caught in traffic jam so I walked around town a little bitand got something to eat and returned to my car.  There were still people postgame tailgating so I didn’t have the privacy I needed there so I drove around and found a shopping center parking garage with almost no cars in it,pulled in and began to change into my outfit.  It was dark with only a bare minimum of light but I managed to get changed into my bra and breastforms,3″ pumps, my LBD and black sheer tights(I had stopped into Kroger and bought those before finding the parking garage-thank you self-checkout!).  Then I brushed out my wig and put it on and did the best i could with my makeup in the minimal light. I then stepped out of my car and took some pictures and a short video walking around the parking deck near my car (while keeping an eye out for anyone approaching-fortunately no one did!).  Then it was off to Richmond! I knew I was going to have to get gas and so i stopped just north of Roanoke and pulled up to the gas pump furthest away from the store.  There were other customers but not too close by.  After it started pumping i sat back in the car while it pumped and when it finished I pu the cap back on and got back int to resume my drive home.

       

      So here is where the panic sets in! As I went to try and start the car, I realized I couldn’t find the car key.  The car was kind of messy and full of stuff and i searched frantically for the keys to no avail!  Meanwhile a pickup truck had puled up just twenty feet away from the pump and was just sitting there with no one seeming to get out.  All sorts of thoughts went through my head about why they might be sitting there-had they seen me and figured out that I was crossdressed? Would they(or someone in the store itself) wonder why the lady who had finished pumping her gas was just sitting in her car by the pump for over five minutes? I had locked the car door but feared that someone would come up and knock on the window. Fear gripped my heart as I thought I MIGHT have to go inside and ask someone to help me find my keys or even that somehow the police would get involved.  Then someone got out of the truck and walked their dog into the nearby grass to relieve itself.  Finally I thought that MAYBE I had dropped he keys OUTSIDE the car when I got out to pump the gas. Slowly opening the driver’s door and with an eye on the person walking their dog, I stepped out,looked down, and rejoiced as I saw the car keys on the ground near the rear left  passenger door.  Grabbing them I hopped back into the car, started it quickly and drove away as fast as I could without squealing tires!  I had been hungry earlier and had even had a tiny thought of going through a drivethru at MCDonalds while dressed but all thoughts of that vanished along with my hunger after my experience at the gas station!

       

      So that’s MY story of first time out while dressed completely and being seen by others.  I lived through it (though I had my doubts at the time!) so you can too! Share your story here so others who might want to leave he confines of their hoe but are concerned about how things might go can be encouraged to take the leap.

      Most importantly-ALWAYS know where your keys are!

       

      Cynthia (Cyn)

    • #11098

      Cynthia my dear friend I think you underplayed your panic level when the key went missing, or maybe in hind sight it was only TOTALLY freaked vs. FRANTIC I AM GOING TO HOT WIRE MY CAR freaked before going and asking for assistance. I do love that story so much luv!!!

      Miss Julianne, six days old. Congrats on your adventure. It is so strange for us to be so scared when we step out in public and you go to a Mall (I don’t care it was the parking lot it’s a Mall). Cinderella, welcome to the ball and home here.

      Codille

    • #11281
      Anonymous

      It just so happens that that day was my first experience at going out in public en femme. I had just tried on some new clothes and had minimal makeup on, just a light powder with my eye brows done and a little lipstick. I had on skinny legging and a very tight fitting white top in which Bra straps are visible. I view myself in mirror & feel that I am looking good so decided that it was time to step out into the real world for the first time. I decided to walk the out but seemed pretty risky especially since a lot of people would recognize me so I wear my male wear over fem dress & step out with a bag with me. I boarded share taxi from my home & reached at nearby city bus stop which was almost empty. I removed my male wear & put the same in bag & I quickly stepped out and made my way to the street. I decided to take a direction I rarely walked to minimize being made by someone I knew. Soon I came across some street maintenance workers who simply smiled and waved as I walked past. I was trying to act confident and it apparently worked as there was no sense of being made. 500 meters  later a female looked at me and told me you looked just like my younger aunt. I thanked her & walked away.  apparently I was feeling happy that I am passing as a fem. There were several more occasions where I passed people on the street and no one seemed to notice as they said things like nice day, or good morning, etc. I went in street market where lot of vendors selling ladies ornament, ladies dresses etc. Some Vendors openly stared it was clear they knew what they are looking at; I didn’t understand what to do about it. However I stop at one ornament vendor where 4-5 females are selecting ornament for their self, me too selected one earrings & magalsutra for me and negotiated price like other female doing finally the vendor agreed so I purchased the same & removed earrings which I was wear & Put new earring which I purchased . The shopping experience at street completely elevated me. Again I came at city bus stop. Than again I took bus to my destination and got down at bus stop which was away from my home. This time I am not lucky enough cause on that bus stop 4-5 passengers are standing there ,but I do not bothered about them I took corner sheet at bus stop & wear male wear over fem dress and step out from there quickly & took the taxi for my home.

      Now I would like to try the big mall. I feel that somehow this could be riskier but I am thinking that being made isn’t the worst thing that could happen. Feeling much freer and empowered than ever before.

      I was scared silly the whole time, but loved every minute of it too. Try it girls finally it was very satisfying venture out as MOHINI

    • #11285
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      That’s great Mohini! Thanks for sharing your story!

    • #12676
      Anonymous

      hi ladies I had my first real experience last weekend it was great fun getting ready what to wear and how i would look.  I hope to do it again sometime.

    • #12815
      Anonymous

      [quote=8477]Great story Louise, Sound like we need to all come to you for tips and courage! Codille [/quote]
      Dutch courage always does it for me!

    • #12822

      Ok, Roxie,

      “Dutch Courage” is a new term to me…..fill me in!

      Codille

    • #12829

      Codille, Dutch Courage means consuming alcohol to reduce inhibitions, including fear, before doing something that you find scary.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_courage

    • #13066

      Cynthia,
      Your story brought tears to my eyes, although your panic was real, the way you wrote made it sound comical.
      I cogs see you snesking along the side of your car and the petrol tank in my mind!
      Great story.
      Glad you’re ok.

      Jessics

    • #13640
      Anonymous

      Last night I was asked “where did I go my first time going out dressed?” I had to ponder a bit, as it was actually in Dec 2007 (wow-that long ago!) when I lived in Wichita, Kansas. It’s not really an exciting story by any means, nothing happened at all……except the start of my now many gray hairs-lol. Like many of you have done, and continue to do, my “dressing” was done secretly and in private. Late at night I would venture out and walk around my apartment complex, eventually taking a few quick drives around the block or so, all the time worried someone would see me or gawd forbid I got pulled over by my civilian counterparts. Building up my courage I started to slowly venture out into the daylight, quick trips to the mail box, fill up my truck with gas, etc. I made a “dry run” to the nearby mall checking out where to park, which door to enter, what the foot traffic was like-a madhouse, as everyone was of course Christmas shopping. I decided it was much to busy for me at the time, and decided to go back sometime during the regular work week (I worked shift work-always having different days off). The next week, after a few more quick walk abouts and drives, I dressed in my best VS Jeans, cute calf-length black boots with a 3 inch heel, and a nice blouse of some sort. Had all my accessories (jewelry, clip on earrings, purse, wallet, etc), press on nails, makeup, perfume, wig…..all just right. With all the courage and ~confidence~ I could muster up, I boldly walked out my front door during the day time on a weekday, when low and behold, just as my neighbor was also walking out! She looked at me and said “hello”, I just smiled and tried my best to calmly walk to my truck, which was parked right next to hers, as she was walking to hers too! WTH, what a way to start out-boom-smack into someone I knew! I got into my truck as she got into her car, I could feel her eyes staring at me wondering if she knew me or had seen me before. I calmly lit a smoke, started the truck, waiting for her to pull away. When she finally did I almost got out and went right back inside. I could feel myself shaking! I sat in my truck, tunes on, finished my smoke as I calmed down, finally deciding I would at least make the drive to the mall. I mean, I was all dressed up and ready to go right? Driving to the mall I just keep thinking, “ok-all you other drivers out here behave and don’t run into me.” I arrived at the mall, found a good parking spot, then sat in my truck pondering going in or not. I had another smoke and just sat there for the longest time it seemed. Again, I’m thinking, all dressed up and ready to go, so lets go dang it! I opened my door, stepped out, adjusted my jeans, double checked my looks via the outside side mirror, then headed off to the pre-designated entry door. I arrived the same time as a single male, and he opened the door for me and said HI! OMG….this is so cool, a guy holding the door open and saying HI to me! Perhaps this won’t be so bad. I smile and muttered a quiet “thank you” as I went past him and entered the mall. O.M.G. where the hell did all these people come from-the parking lot didn’t seem ~that~ full. I started “window shopping” while really using the windows to watch for folks who were watching me-lol. One tall guy-“way over there” seemed to be staring at me! I walked to the next window, focused, yep, there he still is staring at me! WTH….why is he staring at me? He thinks I’m cute? He’s “clocked me?”….omg, that’s it-he’s made me! I tried to calmly walk-he wasn’t close enough to be am immediate threat by any means, he just kept looking at me as I walked. Finally, after about 10 minutes or so, I turned around and started walking back to the door I had entered in. I saw the guy (across the way) and he was with what I thought was his wife, and he was just doing what I do, watching people and chilling. Did he “make me?” I dunno, but I made it back to my truck without incident and drove home, again, without incident.
      Told ya, actually pretty lame story, except for the fear, anxiety, nerve-wracking adventure-which turned out to be nothing. Today, living full time as the woman I’ve always been, I only have the same worries as most other folks about the same things…..taxes, death, food on the table, roof over my head, ya know, the normal stuff….ohhhh, and snakes! Noooooo, mama don’t be dealing with no snakes!

    • #13643
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      Great story Denise! One day I’ll gather up the nerve to try that!(minus the smoking for sure 🙂 ) ( and hopefully minus the neighbor!).. Baby steps!

    • #13645
      Anonymous

      Thanks Cyn. Fast forwarding several years glad to say I no longer smoke, but I do use the Vapor. That doesn’t ruin ones clean smelling clothes, freshly washed hair or nice perfume! 🙂

    • #13646
      Doe
      Lady

      Thanks for a great story Denise. I think we all have found the “Eyes of the World” are on us the first time we venture out. I remember the first time wearing panties out in public. I thought everyone that passed me could see thru my jeans. I felt my shirt was riding up and exposing my panties, I think I must have pulled my top down to my ankles at least a dozen times.
      But I survived and proudly dress everyday in public.

      Doe

    • #14525

      Cannot to report on Sunday as Saturday night will be the first time I will be out as Kelci n mixed company. I amso excited, but a little nervous as well. Outfit is picked out as well as purse, Now if I could just calm my nerves some. Pics and details to come.

      Hugs
      Kelci

    • #14553
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      Kelci-you will do great!  Just that inner fire shine through and everyone will be amazed at the girl who is confident and radiant!  Knock em dead!

    • #14939

      This past Christmas was my first “public” appearance as Kelci, and it lasted nearly 12 hours. With the support of Denise, I got dolled up and had Christmas dinner with other guest and attended a neighborhood party with Denise as well. Though I was a little nervous, I was so happy and cannot wait to do it again. One girl, though intoxicated, was initially convinced I was genetic girl. The feeling of the day was euphoric.

      • #37008

        My first experience was going out an driving around in he car with my girlfriend. I was so nervous I could hardly catch my breath. Then my girlfriend go said pull in here, we are going to dinner. She told the waiter we were lesbians out on the town for a night of partying. The night was so exciting that I decided to go out every night I could afford it. It took me 3 days to calm down.

    • #27333
      Anonymous

      my first time was different from most i come opressive child hood  i never acted or thougt in a nomal way what ever that means i guess you would call it out side the box my parents and family aunts, uncles,  brothers and sisters i was mot alowed to particapate or feel as part of the family. my parents mentaly and fisicaly abuseded me  i was very inteligent and had many gifts that were just natural to me such as music i could pick most instements and play them without lessons i would write stories i was read Dr. Seuss books in pre school. this seemed to upset my parents so they took it upon themselves to destoy my self esteam an confedence the state removed me from them when i was 11  and made me a ward of the state i was in several foster homes one that was very suportive of my talents but by then the damage was already done itrusted no one including myself the first time i dressed and walked out that door somthing magical happend  i was released from all that paste crap and for the first time in 59 years i  have selfesteam  and i’m whole  and have somthing new real empathy for people  and i want to lift up and embrace them. there is no fear just caution  i feel a little confused because of the lack of fear on my firs time out but i;m now full of joy and i finaly love my self.

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