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Good morning from snowy Ontario, Elizabeth!
I’m assuming you’re speaking figuratively??
I’ve been the lady-of-the-house for over 20 years!
When my SO climbed the corporate ladder, I put my career on hold while I became the primary caregiver for our children. So, I had NO problem wearing the apron and other fine and feminine accoutrements!
I was the only dude looking after the kids in our neighbourhood back in the 90s. I hung out with the other moms as our kids had play-dates. Once, at my place while I was chatting with my girlfriends and our kids were playing road hockey, a salesman came to my door and asked to see “the lady of the house”. I was looking rather scruffy and said, “You’re looking at him. Whaddya want?” The moms busted out laughing!
I do hope that nowadays that if a dude stays home with the kids that he’s not abandoned by his male friends. I didn’t get much respect with the dads back then. F*ck em!
Hugs, Barb 👵🏽
Barb,
My wife has also climbed the career ladder, and I, like you gave up work to be the stay at home dad. Our son is 21 now and away at university. My wife has climbed the ladder well. She always has been the may wage earner. I’ve just been made redundant for the 2nd time in my life and at 54, don’t expect to working full time again (not my choice, just expectation). In most aspects, my wife has become what was known as “the man of the house”. This isn’t a crossdressing thing, it’s just life.
I don’t want to be “the wife” and I don’t want my wife to be “the husband”. I’m still very much a male when dressed, and I don’t wish to be dressed all of the time. I’m happy being a man, and my wife is happy that it stays that way.Cerys.
I hear ya, Cerys!
Oh, I’m still a dude! I do lots of dudie things, like cheer for Liverpool over a pint with the lads. (I have a friend in Yorkshire who’s a Liverpool NUT! And he gets very defensive about HIS team! Of course, I prod him some, just like a dude!). Good fun!
However… having an expansive spectrum (ahem…) I can become girly quite easily. So, I guess you can say I’m a “femmy-dude”. And I have many girls here to thank for helping me come to this realization. I’m very gender-fluid. And my SO appreciates that in me, at least within my state-of-mind. I look at the world more reflectively without the aggressive constraints of testosterone now that I’m nearly 60. Testosterone is okay if you’re a footballer, but not if you want to hold and advance in your career nowadays. And this is coming from my corporate SO!
Fortunately, I rebounded for a couple of years after our kids left home, much to my SO’s delight, but she wasn’t concerned. She says I did an admirable job with our kids. Our daughter is an RN and is climbing her ladder rather fast and our son is working on his PhD in computer science.
I hope your son is doing well at university! Nice chatting with you!
I think I’ll go and open a fresh pair of Oroblus…
Hugs, Barb 🤗
Barb, Thanks!
My son is studying for a masters in physics in Imperial. So I think we did an OK job bringing him up 🙂
I’ve never had ambition. I’m quite highly skilled (Electrical engineer), but I’ve had a tough physical working life working in industry, and depression hit me like a cricket bat across the head a number of years back, so I’ve decided I do not need the stress of a high paying, stress inducing job. My body isn’t keen either 🙂 I keep myself busy driving for a food bank. If I find a nice little part time job, I’ll go for it, but I’m not chasing the money ever again.Cerys.
Is that Canada qualified for the World Cup? Northern Ireland drew with Italy 0-0 in Belfast. We should have beaten them. We didn’t qualify because we finished 3rd in our group. We where in a group with Italy, Switzerland, Bulgaria and Lithuania. Switzerland topped the group, Italy finished 2nd and have to compete against another 2nd placed team in another group to qualify.
Liz
Your group would include North and Central America teams, Canada , USA, Mexico, Venezuela, Guatemala and Bolivia?
We in Northern Ireland always seem to get drawn with the top teams in Europe. Not that I’m anti English, but England always seem to get drawn against lesser teams. They played San Marino and beat them 10-0.
Liz
There are those who would argue that most women wear the trousers these days…
Maybe – yeah, why not – it’d be fun!
Mind you, I already do most of the laundry, child care and collection,, cooking, etc…
Or maybe it’s unfair of me to stereotype women’s roles – like it is to stereotype anyone into a role because of sex, nationality, religion, etc… just a thought!
Oh gosh!….Me too. I would sooo much love to be a traditional wife. Would love to be in that role to my SO but if that can’t be, would just love to be a wife to someone who wants someone like me, who is prepared to submit and obey…I want to cook, clean, garden, keep house, make things pretty.
I never want to wear the trousers!
Love to all,
Grace
Hi Liz,
When I met and moved in with my wife to be, she was a full time teacher, and I wasn’t gainfully employed, so it made sense for me to pick up a lot of the chores and child minding to make her life easier. There would be a meal on the table at the end of the day, the washing got done and simple things like that. The kids were a little bit older, so I didn’t get into the ‘young mums’ circles.
She was definitely the ‘boss’ when it came to life at home together with the family in one sense. But I definitely wasn’t the ‘wife’ – she always joked that when we got together, she acquired another child 😉
Marti xxx
Hmmm, I have to ask what “man of the house” actually means? Just because you are practical / possibly earn more doesn’t make you any more “man about the house”!
Hi Mandy 😀 hope all are well in your home.
for this question of being the man of the house, try thinking in terms of being the head of the household, the leader in the relationship, the final decision maker after discussing decisions with your significant other who you love and respect and who looks to you for guidance and direction for how to better your martial relationship. Your partner’s femininity would likely blossom and improve your already wonderful relationship
good luck
Pam 👩🦳
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After retiring I became bored with too much time on my hands so I gradually took over household duties like cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. The wife is delighted. The thing she likes the most is my cooking and I think if I made mud pies she would still say they tasted great because she doesn’t want to cook anymore. I’m usually dressed in some way when I cook and she has even told me several times that I make a great wife. In other matters I’m still the man of the house.
I like the question.
It makes us look at gender roles.
I will use the stereotypical roles as a guide to answer.
In my Family, i am the primary earner 70% of house hold income. SO other stayed home to raise Child. Now back to work. So that is one male stereotype.
I cook and do the dishes ( female)
I do 50% of house work (female)
I do laundry (female)
I do the house hold repairs (male)
SO takes care of the finances (male)
SO takes care of the Social calender (female)
SO takes care of presents for celebrations of any kind. (Female)
I am very happy with our split of things. If my wife was up for a female led relationship, where she took total control and told me what to do when to do it and i got to be a 50’s house wife, i would be all in. But I think a balance is needed to keep all parties feeling equal and respected.
Thanks for the pole
Love and Hugs
Paula
I think my wife has been the (man) of the house 🏠 for decades, lol X
She has had to run the house basically on her own while I’ve been to busy working,
Since I’ve retired I’ve taken over all the clothes washing and the washing up of the pots and pans, and i do all the cleaning through out the house so basically I’ve taken over the role of the housewife, yippee I’ve turned into the woman of the house X
Now all I’ve got to do is see if she will let me wear a dress 👗 X
Hugs 🤗 Roz X
Hi Elizabeth, I’d love it. Right now I’m the man of the house, oh and the woman of the house. My wife spends all her time in her home office doing volunteer work and recently doing some babysitting of our grandkids at our daughter’s house. It would be lovely to let my wife take care of the typical male chores around the house (shovelling snow, mowing the lawn, pruning trees, taking out the garbage/recycling, little fixit tasks, etc). But her solution would be to hire someone else to do it; no chance I’d ever see her push a snow shovel or lawn mower. I love doing the grocery shopping (and hearing all the cashiers call me Ma’am) and the cooking (my chance to be creative – too bad my wife hates most spices). Now that we have full blown winter here, I get to wear leggings around the house all day. Thanks for the question, Have a lovely rest of the week, Hugs, Krista.
Liz….
Living on my own….I have to do everything!!!…but I do hate trousers….he can keep them.
so while I am the the woman of the house nearly all the time, he does cook sometimes, and we always share the washing up…and do you know something….we have never had an argument!!!!
smiles, grace xx
I voted “no” mostly because if we’re changing roles, I’d rather have my wife be more in the Female Led Relationship (FLR) type of role. I don’t know if that makes her “the man” because more than likely she’s assign most of the “manly” tasks back to me, ha.
I could certainly fit into a purely swapped roles situation and be a housewife at home and still have my male persona for work. As long as I get to wear a cute dress and heels while doing it 😉
-Chloé
We are in a somewhat FLR relationship. I assume most of what use to be called the “woman’s role’. I cook all the meals, prepare her lunch for work, I do all the shopping, cleaning, laundry. I serve her dinner, snacks, etc. first. An example of her FLR over me is when she wants something from the store, such as a prescription. “I have a prescript at the drug store, pick it up today.” or “I need a pale pink lip gloss in such and such brand. Make sure you get it for me, today”. Things like that, she does dominate some in our FLR but not much.It’s more of being told than asked, and things are on her time table, not mine.She isn’t a bitch, she compliments me on my attire, and is very pleasant. For those wondering, yes, in the bedroom she is in control.
Hi Kirsten,
I think often some or most of these dynamics may apply in some relationships, but I’m not sure it constitutes an FLR relationship. But if your wife / partner also controls how you dress, controls the money, and how you are allowed to spend it, then a relationship is drifting into FLR territory. Just my opinion.
Marti xxx
My wife keeps the books, being a mathematician I gladly let her. As for spending money she does but not to excess. Only once has she gone wide. (Once she spend $1,200 on pearls, her sisters made her! She said) Me I can spend it but I debate anything I buy. So she doesn’t and never has said no to me on buying anything. But in other ways I could say it’s a FLR. But also very equal.
I’m very happy being the man of my house but at times I just want to be with my wife as equals and be able to enjoy femininity side by side with her.
I think my perfect life would be if we could share equally in everything. I would prefer walking side by side with her enjoying masculine duties as well as enjoying the fun pleasures of femininity.
I lead a fairly traditional role as husband/provider. My wife works as a nurse (two 12hr shifts a week). We split a lot of the household chores but she does the bulk of the indoor tasks while I do the outdoor labor. That said I feel a great deal of pressure as the primary breadwinner. With nearly 100% of my free time being consumed by the needs of the family. When speaking to my therapist it has been revealed that that pressure is one of the root causes of my dressing. I use it to escape the pressure/demands of being that provider all the time. So yes I would love to be a stay at home spouse. I would love to maintain the home, but I would do it in the clothing that brings a smile to my face!
Well said Darcy! I think for a lot of us dressing is an escape from the pressures of day to day responsibilities. Nothing is better than just letting go of our troubles and enjoying some stress free time being someone else for a bit. It’s a great stress reliever being Melanie for the day! My biggest worries are getting my makeup right and that’s a rather pleasant place to be once in a while. Even if it’s just a temporary visit.
This is a really weird question. It might be more generational or maybe how people were raised, regional, maybe even country, but I kind of don’t really understand what it is supposed to mean anymore.
My spouse and I are equal partners. We both work full time 50+ hours a week. We both cook. We both clean. I tend to do more housework, and grab things from her chore list to do, but it’s because I work remotely from home and have down time, while she is at the office all day. I have more time to do it. Like I can fold laundry during a conference call and still be paying attention and contribute. I handle our mutual finances and we both have our own separate accounts for our discretionary spending. We both spend time together and also do things separately as well.
Now she does make the joke sometimes when she comes home and dinner is done that I am a good wife, but I make the same joke when she does the same after I come back from a work trip or had to run around all day.
That’s exactly how it is in our home.
It’s a partnership.(It wasn’t always that way tho.
She had to learn that role too. Most girls are taught that ‘man of the house’ thing too…and if you follow religious precepts, those point to a single person – the male.
So genetic girls don’t all have that desire to change that model.
It has to be taught/practiced.)Nowadays I work mostly remote sans for the occasional business trip. My honey works in a doctors office several days a week.
I clean, do laundry and cook most of the meals (especially since her son passed away in January 2021).
It’s been interesting and rewarding.
I voted no, because I don’t want to be in a relationship with a man. I love my wife the way she is, feminine. I married my wife, because I am primarily attracted to women. Well, for that and many other reasons, obviously.
But, do I fantasize, sometimes though, that I could be treated as a woman by a man in certain situations? Use your imagination. Yes.
And do I also wish my wife knew everything about and loved my femininity, and treated me like a woman in certain situations? Absolutely.
Raquel, I think most of us feel the same way as you. I love women, if I was a woman I would still love women! But she can still be the man of the house without being a man, mine is. I would say we are a ying and Yang couple. We both do duties and share them as well. Where one might lack the other picks up the slack. But yes I do wish I could show my femininity outright at times. I am finding it harder and more difficult to hold Lisa back at times as I grew older.
Lisa Leigh
I live in a FLR. My wife is already in charge of our household and I am happy and satisfied with that. If she wasn’t dominant it is very likely I would not have been living as Jennifer for the past 27 years and I am totally grateful to her for making my life so amazing.
Hi Jen, FLR is the best! As it happens, my wife is better at controling our household than I am. She leaves me a daily chore list now that I am retired. she picks out my clothes every day, I never know if I will be a boy or a girl until I step out of the shower and see what she has laid out for me. I really like those lazy Saturdays when she lays out nothing!
My wife has made out my daily chore list, everything from vacuuming, laundry & ironing, cleaning the bathrooms, etc. I have been doing these chores for years. She doesn’t lay out my clothes but sometimes she will suggest an outfit such as a dress she really likes on me. But whatever I wear it is always female.
My wife is successful, beautiful, smart, mostly open minded, had broken many gender stereotypes, has broken many cultural stereotypes. I fully support her in her endeavors, and not once would it occur to me that we must have gender-based roles.
I do wish she would take more interest in keeping the cars maintained, lawn care, fixing broken items at home, carry the suitcases to the car, setup the electronics, remember the wifi password, watch the bills and bank accounts. But she has me…lol. She does have a female friend that does all that….I think it’s because her husband isn’t inclined too, so someone has to.
I’m already the woman of the house, and my wife is the man of the house. I’m a full-time stay-at-home housewife, and I dress everyday before my wife gets up so I can see her out the door. She makes a very good living, and I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and other housework. I subscribe to Good Housekeeping and Woman’s Day magazines to keep up on things. She pays the bills, and honestly I don’t really know anything about our bills or finances. She makes the major decisions, taking my wishes into account, but she’s the final authority. She monitors my spending, and lets me know if I need to ease up for a while. At home I serve her and take care of anything she needs. I’ve decorated about 99% of our house. She often pampers me, buying me roses and chocolate this past Valentines Day, and taking me to a nice dinner, however, she has the right to discipline me if she feels she needs to. I view my dressing, in part, as a show of respect and love for her and her responsibilities, and I try to look as good as I can for her, which she appreciates. I don’t think an equal partnership would work in our house. We both feel only one person can wear the pants and the other has to wear the pantyhose.
My wife and I don’t have those types of roles in our house. We each do the housework that we prefer to do. I cook, maintain the cleanliness of the kitchen, maintain the house, and we share in the laundry. She does what she likes to do cleaning, she likes to mow the lawn. I guess we just do our own thing.
My story is somewhat sad as my wife found out about my crossdressing and she hates it. Said if I what to be with a man then leave. No research on her part and never really discussed it with anyone. I went to a therapist for 2 years in secret and she was great. She let me come to the session any way I wanted, so of course I dressed at the opportunity to do so. I do love her very much, especially for the time we have been married, but she is not very flexible in this subject. She said she married a man!!. Still not sure what to do as most of you know its not easy to give up. Any suggestions?
Thanks in advance for the advice.
Agree this isn’t going away. Try to get your wife to do couples therapy with your counselor. Maybe it will help her to loosen up a bit. But you have to consider she will refuse, or it will do no good. Then it comes down to a simple question only you can answer. Do you live your life to make someone else happy and be miserable? Or do you make a new life for yourself and be happy. Personally, I would choose the latter.
Ladies,
Guess you could say my wife has become the man of the house. Ever since my cancer in 2016 she has taken over. Banking, up keep of the house, everything The man of the house would do I basically turned over to her. Several reasons why. She’s a math teacher so banking is right up her alley! She enjoys numbers and bill paying. Me not so much, so she’s always done that. But I wanted her to know everything else she needed to know if I wasn’t around and she was willing to learn and take over. Then I lost one of my vocal cords due to the cancer (one of the nerves in runs through my chest was disconnected!) so she took over the phone calls take a man of the house would make. And she does much, much more. So she is now the man of the house, even though she likes me to think I am.
When we first got married she was a teacher make more then me, she asked if it bothered me and I said no it doesn’t. We joked around about our jobs and I even said I wouldn’t mind being her housewife if it came down to it! We both laughed at that. Thru the years thou I made a lot better money then her, until 2016. She retired a few years ago, but now I see myself as the housewife and her the man of the house, even though we don’t dress the part!
Hhhmmm…Never dressed up as a French maid!
But I don’t think it would be a pretty sight!Lisa Leigh
Lisa
Such a touching story. Didn’t know of your cancer experience. Prayers lifted for you and wife. My wife went through breast cancer few years ago, I had kidney cancer in 2006, left kidney removed. Hate that “C” word.
Stay in touch angel 😇
Luvs, Hugs and blessings
Ginger
Well, I’m uncomfortable with the whole idea of one person being the “man of the house” at all. I guess maybe some clarity about what that means, exactly. I think both partners should work to find an equal balance. A division of labor is fine, as long as both are comfortable with it. Ultimately, I think the idea of one person being dominant is problematic. Maybe that’s not what you meant, but those are some thoughts.
I said no.
My wife and I share household chores – I do laundry, vacuum, cook (including baking), dusting, changing sheets, mowing the lawn, weeding gardens and my wife does the same. There are times I get upset with her for doing some things that are male oriented, but that is becuase I am concerned about her hurting herself.
She only learned of my desire to crossdress about 3 years ago. I did the activities I mentioned before coming out to her so there is no real change related to my dressing. I will admit that I am more diligent in doing some things though. Recently she told me I take better care of her bras than she does (I put them on hangars when they come out of the washer to air dry as she told me the dryer ruins the elastic).
I would love to be able to do housework when dressed all the time, howver, she doesn’t want tp see me dressed so that isn’t possible. When I am home alone though I will let Suzanne do the household chores.
XOXO
SuzanneWe already share the daily chores and cooking. I can’t make a fancy sauce to save my life. She’s excellent at it. But she is not handy with tools at all, She’s very willing to learn though. We’re constantly doing up grades on the house – do it yourself style. I did just change the brakes on her F150, wearing an old blouse of course. I thought about wearing high heels but it would have probably been problematic. I’m fem at heart, but still have to fire up the compressor and swing a hammer.
I think if you take it purely as a fantasy, who wouldn’t want to become the house wife. We all have our little dreams. And im sure this would come near the top.i know its one of mine. Its not necessarily saying your wife has to become a man. It’s just about you being the housewife and your wife becomes the bread winner. I know when I’ve had the chance to dress and be at home I’ve played the dutiful housewife and cleaned and ironed. At the end of the day thats what we are doing isn’t it fantasising were are women and trying our best to achieve the look of the woman we want to be.
Carol❤️
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We are both retired but my wife says I make a great wife because I do all the cooking, laundry, etc, household chores, and she loves that I do. She says I’m a much better cook than her and much more neater maintaining our home. I agree.
My wife believes she is the head of the household.
Brandi’s dream would love my wife to accept my crossdressing but she loaves this side of my personality.
I understand why she dislikes and just live with that reality – really cannot blame her.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Brandi XOXO
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