- This topic has 9 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by .
You often hear from CDs, trans individuals of the difficult choices they face in pursuing this lifestyle to any degree, the costs and sacrifices they have to weigh. You hear the troubled stories of those that did show the strength to carry on and faced losses for it. You hear stories of the spouses they came out to and aren’t fully accepted by or that break away from them after, losing family and pre-coming-out friends, struggles with employers, facing abuse… Stories of whole lives turned over. The strength required is as painful as it is wondrous, inspiring.
Is it any wonder we go through purges as we struggle with accepting the difficulties inherent in pursuing our heart’s desires, with sacrificing the acceptance of easy, mainstream, vapid society? You’re virtually promised a much rockier road in life that leads to the greater isolation inherent in belonging to a small minority. Not that all losses are truly losses, not that you can’t find something more meaningful on the other side that honors yourself. But there is a cost and great strength is required and many come up short, don’t self-actualize for all the damage along the way. And if you aren’t lucky enough to live where this minority concentrates, where you can find support, it can be a staggering cost. Even where you find some acceptance, the acceptance can be illusory, terribly misguided, abusive. It is rife with dangers. You have to learn what to look out for and the ready pitfalls.
Why am I dwelling on this? In part I find myself struggling day in and day out with those costs and lack of support. I too wonder if it wouldn’t be better to purge and latch on to some relationship that would at least give me companionship if not greater self-expression. It would be much easier if not self-actualizing. And, after all, common society people, conformists, regularly make sacrifices themselves just to fit in. The choice to not conform gets even harder when you realize just how common shallower users are, those into using you purely as a kink without any heart and often with more than a little harm. It is a dangerous and lonely sea out there for this lifestyle.
I share this hard take as much out of caution as I do out of hope that some of us might extend ourselves a little more to make for more local group activities, to support each other more locally and not just in far flung cities and long distance relationships. Even if it means not dressing in public at all but still having “coffees” and platonic meets… that’s a HUGE boon! Don’t discount it I beg you. Not being supportive offline contributes to all our suffering in the long run. Online can’t, shouldn’t fully replace in person. It should support it by pointing out the pitfalls and uplifting the community. As small as our population is, there is much of it that remains so hidden as to be non-existent, that doesn’t express itself publicly in any fashion (even just as an ally in male mode) or that doesn’t uplift the community and support it in expressing itself in healthy, wholesome ways. I ask you to reach higher, not just for others, but for your own quality of life. Sisterhood can bring such joy. I’ve experienced it in small ways at times and it was magical, no matter how brief.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.