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In chat yesterday I mentioned that a bra fitter helped me resize to get a much better bra fit. One of the ladies was apprehensive about getting a mean clerk and as we said, you are the customer and deserve respect. It reminded me of the time before online that I bought some panties and the cashier picked them up and said “these will look nice on you”. I relied thank you. It is all in the attitude. Even though I was dressed in drab I would not be dissed for buying panties.
I have generally had good interactions with sales clerks. I used to pretend that I was shopping for my wife. Sometimes I would buy something for her and something for me. The SA would point out that my purchases were different sizes I would just say “I know”.
Usually the SA would ask if I knew my wife’s size. One day in Layne Bryant, I just said I was shopping for myself. She said “do you know your size?”
I have found SA’s in Torrid and Lane Bryant to be especially helpful. Once in a Dress Barn, I found an SA to be almost hostile. I have never shopped in a Dress Barn again.
It’s so sad people can’t move past their social intolerances. Such a waste of beautiful garments just sitting there. To think of driving away customers that would eagerly shop in their store if they where a little more accepting? How much would it really cost to train your employees to treat everyone well or hire those who will vs. the loss in sales? I’ve had similar experiences in dress barn stores and stopped shopping there. I haven’t seen one of their stores in years.
Hi Jeannie
I bought a lovely blouse and matching trousers en femme in ” a well known supermarket” last weekend ( rhymes with fresco’s)….the checkout was fabulous, chatted about the colour, how they matched, even did I want the clothes hangers!!…..I can’t ever recall having a problem….. just act natural, be yourself and hold your nerve….and it all falls into place….. remember, these people are there to HELP you..
Love, grace xx
Yesterday I had a amazing encounter with a cashier at Walmart. I was grocery shopping en femme, as I do like to do. Since it was Halloween I decided to put a bottle of bourbon in my cart. And yes I got carded. I was a little apprehensive, but the lady looked at me and said it’s okay, I can tell by the eyes. She made a point to say that she worked every weekend and hoped to see me back.
vanessaReminds me of a few times when I was buying items. Once at a drugstore I was purchasing some perfume a few other girl things and I distinctly remember pink nail polish. The cashier looked up smiled friendly and said this is definitely a good color for you.
fairly sure it was sincere as I was the only customer there.
Another time I was purchasing some undergarments and a female cashier looked at some bra’s I had and said These are not your size. I simply looked at her and replied No? What would be my size. She said come back later and gave me the time she finished up.
So I did. But that was another adventure.We are still using face masks and I was in Bryants. I asked the clerk about my size. She looked at me and said 22-24. I got cash out of my billfold while she got that size in different styles and colors. She helped me decide, she bagged them, and I paid cash.She tried to interest me in a card, but I made sure that she understood I was not interested.Then I saw a short gown for sleep[ng. It wasnt in my size, so they ordered it to be sent to the store so I could get it there w/o shipping charges.Yes, I had to pay for it as I ordered it and I gave them my e-mail address.It was received at the store in 4 days, so I got it as Edna Ever and she seemed very pleased, asking me to come back soon.It was a win-win situation for both of us.I have been back since then and they knew me and we had a good talk about sizes. Yes, I was still wearing my mask for covid safety.
sales people meet a lot of different people. im sure your not the first crossdresser they met. im sure they seen a lot of strange things. i know when i go someplace and meet someone when im dresser they dont forget me. sometimes they come up to me and say they met me before. i dont have a clue. they must not have done anytime for me to remember them by. you tell me your name and 5 minutes i wont remember it. it must not have been that important. i need to meet you about 5 times before i remember. they meet me once and they cant forget. anyway every place i go they seam to know me. sales people are usually nice. one lady said that a nice skirt where did you get that? i said here at savers (like goodwill). everytime we go out to eat they say we are glad to see you again.
I buy most of my cosmetics at my local Walgreens. At first I used the old line that I was picking up something for my daughter, about the third time I just admitted that all the stuff was for me. We talked about what shades of different products would/should work for me or what products I needed. I’ve since been in several times, well many times. The other day I was in to actually pick up a prescription and she was talking to one of the other staff when she say me she waved and came right over to say hi and see if there was any thing I wanted or needed. I guess one of these days I’m boing to have to learn what her name is!
I used to buy without trying on then return. Recently I just go to the trying on rooms in drab and say I want to try these. Walmart’s SAs for example never bat an eye lid as long as I have less than six items; they do make a fuss if I have more so I keep it at six or under.. The rooms are open and they clean them after every use. The Salvation Army rooms are closed now around where I live in PA so I have stopped shopping there. Marlene.
I have had many reactions from clerks over the years.
Highs to lows and everything in between.
From the event at Torrid where the sa suggested I try on the dress I was buying. Very nice gal.
To an annoying event at Walmart where I was buying a few items and picked up a pair of leggings. The cashier started acting real strange, asking me if the leggings were mine and walking back and forth. It was weird to watch her.
Most stores want to sell a product. If the CD community has enough of a presents that it is noticeable, then it is money in there pocket to be helpful.
I’ve had different responses from sales clerks, from being very helpful to being indifferent..Suprisengley I have found that the sales girls in Victoria’s Secret are the most friendly and helpful. I reason it’s because they are on a commission basis and the more I buy, the more they will make. I used to be intemadated shopping for intimates in a Victoria’s Secret and tried to do my shopping in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week when there weren’t many customers. But after seeing how helpful the sales girls were, I go shopping now when there are sales and lots of customers without encouraging any problem. The Victoria’s Secret in the Florida Mall in Orlando knows me by my first name and when I go shopping there, the sales clerks are more than willing to help me find whatever I’m looking for
I’ve had nothing but positive experiences. Compliments on nail polish purchases as well as what colour they’re currently painted, clerks making multiple trips with different sizes and styles while I’m in a dressing room, help with replacements for returned items I’d been to scared to try on in the store.
One girl called me honey, that one just about melted my heart she was so sweet.In the 50+ years I have been dressing (self-shopping for at least 40 of those) I have run into associates who were hostile, a lot who were indifferent, and several who were very positive in working with me. The girls at the Torrid I shop at have been absolutely marvelous from day 1 just after they opened. Of course Lane Bryant, Payless Shoes and many other chains also have obviously been using diversity training for years, before it was so popular with the ‘woke’ crowd.
A bad associate can turn me off to shopping at a certain store, and of course their management hears about how I was treated. By the same token, the associates who are friendly and actually helpful will also get their managers called to be complimented about with just as much enthusiasm. And now with online surveys on our sales tickets, I make sure I let the company know exactly how my experience went with their company. Plus, you can get a nice discount from doing the surveys too, lol.
PaulaF
I have a 20+ year career in retail and I can honestly say the cashiers stockmen sales associate etc. We dont care what you buy you are just 1 of hundreds of faces we see a day. We forget you exist as soon as you walk away. The ones that say these will look good on you are joking to break up the soul crushing monotony of the day. Just joke back and go on.
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Exactly. I worked retail for 6 and a half years, starting as a sales clerk and ending up as an assistant manager. As I said in another post months ago, folks most of us don’t care. Want to buy a dress to put your labradore retriever in? As long as your credit card is good you can do whatever you want with it.Since that topic is probably buried by now I’ll reiterate what I said there. I started crossdressing at 13. I started at the sporting goods store just before my 19th birthday. When I’d see a guy looking at ladies swimsuits or leotards I’d give him my usual “can I help you” spiel and if he said no I left him alone. It didn’t really occur to me that he might be buying them for himself. And if I ever did think that, like I said as long as his money was good what did I care? The ones who make rude remarks don’t belong in retail. The ones who make CD-related remarks are trying to be helpful but as an assistant manager I would have taken them aside and explained that they probably made him feel uncomfortable. Problem solved.
I love it when a clerk says something like “that color nail polish will look good on you”, or that color dress matches your eyes, or anything in that line. I have even had help selecting the correct size of undergarments. It helps to buy girl things when already wearing girl things!
Once I own up to shopping for myself, I cease being a pervert and become a customer.
It wasn’t what she said as much as it was her snotty tone. She might as well have added pervert. Do any of you know whether a sales clerk has or would make the same comment to a gg? I doubt it because to them it was just underwear and that is what panties are to me. Also picking them up so everyone in the line could see them seemed to confirm to me that she was hostile.
I had one experience that I will never forget. Years ago, I was buying lots of panties in person at retail shops. On one occasion when I was shopping alone at Victoria’s Secret, the cashier held them up and said, “These are nice and stretchy,” with a huge grin on her face. I knew what she was implying and brushed it off with some comment about how much my wife likes them that way. I didn’t detect any snotty tone but I didn’t appreciate her announcement in front of everyone at checkout. Fortunately for me, my wife was usually with me when I would shop for panties and would carry my choices through checkout to avoid such situations.
i have gone out to buy pads, nylons, bras, dresses, make up, perfume in male mode and nothing is said to me about it would look nice on me or would smell pretty, the dress would look nice on you. all i get is cash or credit and i pay for them and on my way. at one point the sales lady looked at me like why are you buying pads look. i just let it blow off and pay and leave. i am not ashamed on buying female stuff in male mode. i never went to store dressed up, just afraid some one would know me.
no one knows i x dress except wife and maybe my niece in which i had her dress me up as a female for Halloween. i know my daughter knows i do but will not dreess up when she is around but know she is in Maine.
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