• This topic has 19 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #630922
      Twilla Thompson
      Baroness - Annual

      I’m pretty sure I noticed a sister out shopping at a discount store yesterday.  I wanted to say something about her courage/inspiration so bad.  I mulled it over and recalled a post here recently about what to do in that situation and just smiled and went on with my business….of buying some new toenail polish for spring.  It was difficult as I would like to find a local sis to hang with.

      Toodles!

    • #630925

      As long as I don’t say (out loud) to her, “Hey, I can tell you’re a crossdresser!”, but only approach her and speak to her (without mentioning the obvious) about gurly things, I think it’s just fine. If she wants to be “revealing,” I should leave that up to her.
      Kisses to all,
      Fredrika

      • #631990

        This! There is absolutely nothing wrong with approaching people in general for conversation, I do it constantly whether I’m in boy mode or girl mode. General compliments are always good to hear out in public, and the tone of how it’s said is very important too.

        Most times, the receiver can feel the intent. In our case, as CDs who may or may not be comfortable in public, unfortunately, we may be hypersensitive to it.

    • #631010

      Yea I am sure she would have liked to chat with you too. Put yourself in her heels. A friendly smile and a chat about anything as one girl to another. Sure she is looking for friends too

    • #631015
      Anonymous
      Lady

      I don’t see CD’s out shopping around here but thought when I do see one and the situation was right I would approach her with small talk or just say “Hello sister” and go from there. I think we all want support from our sisters.

      • #631988

        No CD’s out shopping where you’re at? Whhhhaaaaat? Then where ya at… I’ll go prance around and make it so! LOL

        • #632200
          Anonymous
          Lady

          Hi Carmen.

          LOL. Yes please come… I would love to go out with you 🙂

          I imagine there are a few public CD’s around here but its a very conservative southern area and not really safe for us. I don’t know of any bar or place in this city where CD’s are accepted. The last time a kinky place opened years ago, a church group closed them down. If I want to go out I have to drive to another city.

    • #631041
      Anonymous

      I think about how or what would I like to happen if I was out en femme. It would have to do with how and by whom, I was approached.

      First, if anyone, male or female, who, as a passerby, said something like, “Nice dress” or “I love your nails” with a kind smile, whether they clocked me or not, I would love it.

      Second, if I were approached and addressed with genuine interest by a GG, about my appearance, I would probably be comfortable speaking with her.

      On the other hand, I might be a little uncomfortable if a male in drab took interest. Unless he made it known immediately and discretely that he crossdressed.

      It’s just my opinion, but I think any crossdresser brave enough to shop en femme could probably handle and might enjoy meeting another sister.

      You might have approached her with a few bottles of nail polish and asked her opinion. That would have signaled the girl in you and put her at ease.

    • #631131
      Twilla Thompson
      Baroness - Annual

      She was in and out quickly, saw her walk in and shortly use self check.  One thing to remember is that if she felt comfortable there she will most likely return to same store.  I will remember that nail polish line for next time.  Thanks ladies!

      Toodles!

    • #631333
      Anonymous

      I think that all of us always look for girls like us to relate to, the issue in my case is that in my masculine identity I am very serious and many times I seem not very friendly, although I think it is more of a barrier that I place before others so that they do not notice my strong inclination towards the feminine, I think that many times I have stopped relating to people for fear that they will notice felicity, notice this beautiful girl, very feminine that I also wish to be sometimes, I guess I understand you because the fear still in these times it is a great barrier for us to express ourselves freely and honestly before the world.

    • #631353
      Revel
      Baroness

      Thanks for sharing this. If I saw a sister out in public, I would be tempted to approach her as well. I’m not sure if I would reveal that I’m a CD, but I would at least give her a kind compliment. I rarely see a sister out and about. Sadly, we sisters are few and far between where I’m located. That’s why I’m so happy to know some of you here at CDH.

    • #631422
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      If I happened to notice another sister, whether I was en femme or in guy mode, I would want to say something. Not quite sure how I would go about it though.

    • #631440

      Last week i saw a sister in one of the casinos in Atlantic City.She was walking kind of fast and looking down at her phone as she was walking trying to hide her face.I wanted to say something to her but she looked nervous about being there so just left her alone.I admire her courage.And yes i was not in girl mode but in boy mode.

      • #631979

        I see quite a few in Casinos. I think crossdressers find it a safe space since it’s very public yet most everyone else is so engrossed and enraged for losing their paycheck yet again in those places that they don’t even notice any human being around them, let alone a CD.

    • #631918

      As someone who will talk to anyone I usually just say hello. Or nice dress. Or some other compliment if I feel it’s warranted.

      I haven’t started going out in public. But I’d love for others to talk to me if they were kind and sincere. But yea, you look like a linebacker in drag would be hurtful. Or any more subtle forms of that would hurt too.

      That said, when in doubt doing what you did is best. Better to say nothing than to hurt someone.

    • #631935
      Janine
      Lady

      In all of the times, I’ve been out dressed en femme, there was just one time that I was questioned about not being a girl. I was at a mall and needed to use the ladies room. As I was approaching the hallway that led to the ladies room, I saw a woman standing there with three young children and looked stressed. When I got close to her she said. Your not a woman and you can’t go in here. I looked her in her face and said  I’m just as much woman that you are. She didn’t say anything more, so I went into the ladies room and did what I went in there to do.I wondered if she called security and wondered if security would be waiting for me when I came out? After finishing what I went in there for, I walked out to find that there wasn’t any security or her waiting for me. I continued shopping and put that unfortunate situation behind me. I assumed that her being stressed and upset was the reason she said something to me, because there’s no other reason for calling me out. I think that I look quite feminine when I’m out in public. I always dress well and act as feminine as I can  so I can blend in with people who are shopping

       

       

    • #631947
      JOJO
      Lady

      This may sound simplistic but perhaps a gentle smile and a nod of your head as a subtle way of  saying hello.

    • #631976

      Last week walked past who I believe was a finely dressed sister in a Lowes in NJ. We made eye contact , I smiled and walked by. I then thought if I saw her in another less crowded part of the store should I say something . I figured if I did I would just complement her on how great she looked .. which she did. Would that be ok? I didn’t see her again but I’m in that store frequently and maybe we’ll cross paths again.

      I was at a garden center last summer and watched as a young 30 ish guy bent over to pick up a plant and revealed the cute black lace thong he was wearing. Of course I had panties on also and would’ve commented but it appeared he was with his wife and child .

      💋💋Natalie

       

    • #631304
      Anonymous
      Lady

      Hi Eileen.

      We try the best we can but some of us will never be completely passable where no one ever clocks us. It just won’t happen. Some accept this fact and go about their business anyway because in the end its really nobody’s business how we present anyway.

    • #631908
      Anonymous

      Eileen,

      Speaking only for myself, yes, I do try to look my womanly best. But I don’t kid myself. Even my very best isn’t going to fool a casual observer. Some folks who are wrapped up in their own worlds may not notice, however, and only see a wig and mistake it for real hair; see a slightly wrinkled face and not see the shadow of a beard below the concealer and foundation; see the outline of a bra holding “fake” boobs.

      That’s when you get the occasional, “Excuse me ma’am.” And a polite nod, letting you cross an aisle first.

      But the shocked expression of the woman next to you looking through a rack of blouses, or the polite smile from a sales associate at the register, don’t bother me either.

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