This topic contains 16 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by  Adarsini 2 months ago.

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  • #70109

    Sandy
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    Registered On: September 20, 2015
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    I know that deep down inside I was born into the wrong body but I have gone up and down with my feelings and I have always loved to dress up in female clothes and yet it has never gone further than that. About a year ago I came out to my parents that I was transgender but I know for a fact that I will never transition simply because I don’t have the guts to do so. I mean its a lot of work and I just don’t have the energy to make that leap even though I would love to do so in a second.

    I imagine life as a woman and I feel like I would just be an overweight mess and yeah I know I can change that and work out and so on but I just feel so lazy about the entire thing and I read articles and forum posting about women that are in transition and they are learning about makeup and applying it and I am not that patient with things like that and then there is voice coaching and so many other things. I mean I just feel so scared when I think about it. I mean if I could get my penis removed living as a full time man I would be very happy to do so and have a vagina I would be on cloud 9 but then of course I would want breasts as well and having breasts as a guy would be hard to hide even though I would love to have them.

    Perhaps I am just a coward when it comes to transitioning and I respect all you women and men that are doing it, you have my full respect and I am very jealous that you have that confidence.

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  • #171714
     Adarsini 
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    Registered On: April 23, 2019
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    I feel for you. I told my wife and she is leaving me. She wouldn’t even be open to the idea of me dressed. She said there would be nothing sexual about it… I can’t do it at home because she doesn’t want our daughter to see it… I don’t have anyone to “help me” and I’m making this about me right now, but I’m just trying to say there are so many of us out there…. you’re not alone. Stay strong.

    Oyaa… thats the only confidence in people around here… before meetting my cdheaven… i also felt that i am the only person with  this  thought(thought of gender dysphorria)…. now it is this community that feels,  very comfortable for me and ma feelings….

    Hugs and love

    Ada(adarsini)

  • #132907
     Kristie Jarvis 
    Registered On: November 17, 2018
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    I feel for you. I told my wife and she is leaving me. She wouldn’t even be open to the idea of me dressed. She said there would be nothing sexual about it… I can’t do it at home because she doesn’t want our daughter to see it… I don’t have anyone to “help me” and I’m making this about me right now, but I’m just trying to say there are so many of us out there…. you’re not alone. Stay strong.

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  • #127363
     Carolyne Sherman 
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    Registered On: February 20, 2018
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    Sandy I think that your maturity in assessing the situation as is acceptable to YOU is very understandable. I have spent my life trying to be “normal”  and create a career, family and all the expectations placed on us by society. When I was around 3rd grade I told my mom I wanted to be a girl… yeah that went over great, NOT!  Career military special forces officer father. So I buried myself  and was a very self destructive youth. College, career, wife, kids all the time knowing I wasn’t happy as a man but knowing it was “to late” to change. Now I accept my fate. Yes I am transgender and yes I crossdress and enjoy my time out and about as a woman, but never truly reaching that goal of being a woman. Life has been good to me and I love my family and I grudgingly accept my sacrifice for the greater good of my family. Yes my wifey knows. We have our understanding and I try to stay within those rules. Do I wish I could wave a wand and be a REAL woman, yes. But like you I choose not to. Like you, I respect those ladies that can and do make those journeys. You are not a coward, just someone who has made an evaluation and deemed now is not the appropriate time. I agree that a good therapist or confidant you can talk with may help. They may help reaffirm staying all male or they may help you decide now is a time for change. No matter your choices, you are not a coward and I wish you luck on wherever your journey leads.

    🍷C

  • #106011
     Kelly brown 
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    Registered On: June 24, 2018
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    I’ve been dressing since as early as about 8 and over the years it’s got more and more often. ..using girlfriend clothes  I’d sit while she was out…but 30 odd years I’ve been dressing. .I love been Kelly but hate when I take clothes off and feel low for a bit when am in my male clothes. .I feel trapped so for me il just keep dressing and been Kelly .I’ve to much to lose a beautiful woman. .and I have to girls to a previous girls it would be bad for them..I am considering talking to my doctor see if there are road for me but am happy in my dreas tonight for a while till its time to be male lol😭

     

  • #88309
     janedon 
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    Registered On: January 19, 2016
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    Something I’ve figured out (for sure) in life IS-Never say Never–Just like eating “unusual” food—Many foods sound unappetizing -even sicking—However–after trying them WOW–   Most things limiting us are in the mind–big changes in life are generally done in the span of YRs not weeks or months–One step at a time–a baby step here-an adult step there–next thing you know-you’ve arrived -When thinking about Dangers/Risks Life is hazardous to our health– the most risky thing we do is ride in motor vehicles (by a long shot)-Hank Williams  senior said it all when in a song he sang–No matter how we struggle & strive–we never get out of this world alive-

     

     

     

  • #88290
     Harietta 
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    Registered On: December 13, 2016
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    I am, and always be, a crossdresser.  I have always felt joy in adopting female aparrel, hairstyle and makeup. It looks and smells and feels so much more sensual. But what is essentially gender associated fashion is just a  social construct.

    I have no need to alter my plumbing to enjoy my female side. Drugs and hormones will kill my libido, which is a huge part of my dressing, which makes me feel sexy and frankly…horny.

     

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    • #88293
       Harietta 
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      Registered On: December 13, 2016
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      Further, and this is not scientific…

      We here in Canada recently lost a transsexual friend to heart attack. This lady was seriously overweight with a family history of heart problems. A short internet search showed me that estrogen and other feminizing agents are a big factor in  health related issues among transsexuals…Caution

      • #127313
         janedon 
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        Registered On: January 19, 2016
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        Obesity is way more dangerous than Hormons-

  • #88265
     Patty Phose 
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    Registered On: May 7, 2016
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    I began dressing with my mothers pantyhose and heels at 4. As the years went by I began trying more clothes until at 18 I began dressing fully fem. I guess I was lucky in that women in my life were supporting and encouraging.

    I met several girls who liked how I dressed including my wife. I dress everyday at home amd go out whenever I can. To wear pantyhose, heels, short dress and a wig is heavenly to me. I love how I look and feel.

    Still with a lifetime of dressing and loving it, I never had any desire to transition. I enjoyed doing an androgynous look out in public. I liked it even more when I went fully fem. I like being a man who just loves wearing so called women’s clothes and presenting as a woman. It’s fun and often an incredible rush. I like being being gender fluid. I don’t have to choose between on or the other. I can be both.

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    • #127253
       Amanduh Inadress 
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      Registered On: November 8, 2018
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      this  is how I feel too but only one person has accepted my dressing 

  • #88207
     Amber Wells 
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    Registered On: February 19, 2018
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    My greatest concern in transitioning is my fear of needles and surgery which makes SRS scary to me.

  • #78902
     Cloé (CC) 
    Ambassador
    Registered On: May 9, 2017
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    Sandy,

    When you look at the mountain you see before you it can seem very daunting as a whole.  Yet, just like a climber you have to take each obstacle on that mountain one at a time.  So don’t try to tackle all of them at once.  Figure out what you are ready for and what you feel will be the next obstacle.  It truly is a journey to get to the summit and like any journey there will be episodes that are very rewarding and others that are true struggles.  We’re here to help and you will definitely need a counselor to help you.

    Your sister,

    Cloe

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  • #78595
     Tami 
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    Registered On: October 23, 2016
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    Sandy,

    It is a huge life change to transition that impacts every single aspect of your life, so your fears of doing so are well founded and very very normal.  The physical aspects of transition that the hormones do for you are the easy part, the real work comes into play in everything else.  Voice, mannerisms, being comfortable in your own skin, building a community of people who know and accept you for who you are.  All of this takes time and successfully transitioning is truly about the overall life you build for yourself, not just the physical aspects.  All this being said there is no specific timeframe or timeline everyone is different.  Take the time, think this through, continue your research, learn.  You have the time, do not rush into it.  Most importantly recognize and truly understand, that it is not going to be living your current life, just in a female physique.

    As mentioned before seek out an experienced gender therapist and talk to them to help you sort through everything.  Take your time, be sure it is right for you, and that your know and are as prepared as possible for the impact it will have on your life.  Also recognize that transition is not a magic bullet that fixes all of life’s problems.  It will not, it simply addresses your gender dysphoria and fixes that internal part of life, the rest is still up to you.  Good luck Sandy and I hope you are able to find the best path forward for you.

    Tami

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  • #78506
     Brianne Rhodes 
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    Registered On: December 19, 2017
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    I have crossdresser for a long time always felt female inside. I even have breast already and haven’t taken anything yet haven’t started my transition I am determined to do it but I’m scared to death about coming out but I think I may have the courage to actually do it….and I’m overweight I don’t want to be some ugly fat chick but may as well better than being a ugly fat dude. I have lost skme weight just hope I can keep it off. I am anxious to try hormones soon. Still thinking all this and planning and I wonder do I have the courage to go thru with it when I am face to face with my family.n hope u find your courage snd I hope I do as well

  • #72247
     Anonymous
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    Breast argumentation is my current goal. But getting hrt started is very important because you grow natural breast, not the cup size I want, b-d. But transitioning for me important, all the surgeries needed. But some ppl happy that they believe themselves female and totally happy with that. Some get just breast argumentation, helps with the appearance and more clothing options like bikini tops. But others can’t afford SRS and that can be more hard than hiding the transgender issue. Some commit suicide just becuz they can’t fully transition. Me personally need the feminine body. Started looking at women’s butts and boobs. But dressing up has made a big difference. Loving it. Best of luck to you;-).

     

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  • #70877
     Anonymous
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    You are scared for very legitimate reasons, so please do not feel like you are a coward.  I would suggest getting counseling from a gender therapist who can help you figure out what to do to live the life you want.  Just because you are transgender doesn’t mean you have to transition or that you have to do “everything” on the big huge list of transitioning tasks; you can probably find a way to become the person you want to be.
    And also, if you have weight issues, that’s not a gender problem.  Women come in all sizes.  But it is a health issue, so I implore you to find a way to lose the extra pounds, it will help you become happier and succeed in your goals no matter your gender.

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