• Creator
  • #410727
    Sarah Spice
    Registered On: November 26, 2020
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 8
    Has thanked: 47 times
    Been thanked: 74 times

    Well hello again, CDH!

    I’m Sarah – a year ago, after decades of secrecy, guilt and shame that I know many others here have experienced, I finally came out to my wife (and subsequently, upon her encouragement, to my three adult sons).  It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster since then.  I jumped headlong into expressing my female side more fully (for me, though, that still meant in private) and joined CDH with a vision of becoming a contributing member of the community.

    A few months later, I got cold feet.  I was still confronted by my own interests and desires and still felt that I hadn’t progressed with accepting myself properly.  I also realised that I wasn’t transgender, that I didn’t wish to transition and so I decided I could just pull back, act like the normal guy I had presented to those around me my whole life.  I requested my membership to be cancelled, which was done with no questions and gentle support (for which I am grateful).

    Once the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, though, it’s pretty hard getting it back in!  I was forever changed by my true admission.  I am coming to terms with that over time, but I am now at least accepting of the fact that I am who I am, that Sarah is every bit a part of me as my male identity and that I need to continue to work hard at opening up my own mind to the reality of this dichotomy.

    As a baby step I have re-joined as a Lady / Guest member, but hopefully I can gain in confidence, become a full member and connect with others like me – I look forward to the journey!

Viewing 18 reply threads
  • Author
    • #414112
      Mika Malone
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: November 11, 2020
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 557
      Has thanked: 1683 times
      Been thanked: 2197 times

      Glad you’re back. I consider myself to be on the transgender spectrum. Gender fluid to be precise. I have no plans to transition but I have really wanted to crossdress to have fun with my feminine side. Even though I’m kinda new at this, I understood 30 years ago how much I identified with my feminine side. I do a lot of very manly stuff too but Mika is still always there. Of course, whatever path we take is a very individual decision. I hope your return gives you renewed confidence and strength to do what’s best for you.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #414069
      Deborah Sullivan
      Registered On: February 27, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 466
      Has thanked: 1950 times
      Been thanked: 1739 times

      Its not something easily accepted by most but with time and experiences you begin to realize its really no big thing to be afraid of at all. Just try to learn to accept and enjoy it hon

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #414020
      Michelle Newman
      Registered On: June 22, 2017
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 2721
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 2006 times

      Welcome Sarah!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #412385
      Autumn Valiant
      Registered On: July 14, 2019
      Topics: 32
      Replies: 1133
      Has thanked: 16910 times
      Been thanked: 2916 times

      Hi Sarah!

      Welcome back. I don’t think there is anything I can say that hasn’t already been said all these wonderful ladies.




      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #412368
      Paula F
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 816
      Has thanked: 6248 times
      Been thanked: 3173 times

      Welcome back Sarah.  Have a comfy seat and take a deep breath and relax.  I imagine there are a LOT of girls that weren’t here with before, I am pretty sure I am one of them, but there are still quite a few that you knew then.

      Jump back in with both feet, or just dip a toe to test how good it is to be back.  One thing I am sure you will see hasn’t changed, is the caring support we have for each other without condition.


      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #412327
      Rei Durden
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 791
      Has thanked: 4885 times
      Been thanked: 3194 times

      Hello Sarah!

      Take your time, we’re not going anywhere and will gladly offer the support and encouragement to help you find a level of comfort in your life, whatever that looks like.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #412115
      Stephanie Roberts
      Registered On: May 20, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 426
      Has thanked: 3439 times
      Been thanked: 1421 times

      Welcome back Sarah!!! It’s so great to see you back here again. Take another deep breath, and dive right in. I wish you well on your journey.

      Love and hugs, Stephanie ✨❤️

    • #411743
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1071
      Has thanked: 10066 times
      Been thanked: 3459 times

      Hi Sarah nice to meet you as i didnt know you from before we can change that . Hello Sister and returning family member . As these other lovely ladies have put it you remember how this wonderful CDH site works so get back in the swing of it and explore make new friends as we are a big family and sisterhood of supportive loving girls wishing you the best and again nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime ..

      Stephanie Bass

    • #411667
      Samantha Will
      Registered On: April 1, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 17
      Has thanked: 610 times
      Been thanked: 53 times

      Hi Sarah

      Welcome back, look foward to catching up.


    • #411234
      Samantha Roarke
      Registered On: April 17, 2019
      Topics: 42
      Replies: 1276
      Has thanked: 3567 times
      Been thanked: 2735 times

      Hi, hello, and welcome to Crossdresser Heaven! You have just arrived at the best and greatest CD site on the web! CDH has tons of very helpful crossdressing information, tips, and support from real people just like you! We highly encourage new CDH members to ask questions no matter how trivial you think they may be, as we are happy to answer to the best of our ability. We also love a well written profile, this helps everyone to get to know you better as the beautiful woman you are! We hope that you enjoy your stay here at CDH, as we are happy to have you as a part of our wonderful community.

      Thank you, Samantha Roarke

    • #411179
      Julie Carson
      Registered On: October 26, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 37
      Has thanked: 644 times
      Been thanked: 149 times

      Oh honey soon the pink fog will envelope you and you will become your feminine self. Weeeeeeeee!!!!

    • #411101
      Bettylou Cox
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 1703
      Has thanked: 3031 times
      Been thanked: 5709 times

      Hi Sarah,

      And welcome back.  Transitioning is by no means a necessary step along the CD journey.  I do consider myself socially Trans, but I can’t/won’t have hormones or surgery…and I’m none the worse for that.



    • #411042
      Alice Underwire
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 2445
      Has thanked: 1316 times
      Been thanked: 4851 times

      Hi Sarah,

      Welcome back to CDH.


    • #410807
      Stephanie Flowers
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 4659
      Has thanked: 7847 times
      Been thanked: 7902 times

      Sarah welcome back.  Start to explore this again wonderful place and when ready come out and meet many of our beautiful ladies and know your among friends. Hope to see you around here soon .

      Stephanie 🌹

    • #410801
      Teralynn Loving
      Registered On: October 17, 2019
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 1068
      Has thanked: 7974 times
      Been thanked: 1872 times

      Hi Sarah, Teralynn here. Welcome back to CDH. Lots of crossdressing people have the mistaken idea that their love of crossdressing is an indication that they should have been born a female and that they need to fully embrace their feminine persona. Only to find out later on that leaving the life they have had as a male completely behind is not that easy to do because there are aspects of that male life they have lived that were honorable, commendable and made them happy. Perhaps that constant urge to recognize the feminine part of you has pushed you into thinking that it has to be one way or the other!  It doesn’t! Although I mostly present myself as Teralynn, these days I have never taken the husband away from my wife or the father away from my children and I am quite comfortable and pleased with the life I lived as John before I knew anything about Teralynn whatsoever. Do not disregard the possibility that you could be the happiest by embracing both your feminine and masculine personas. That is what crossdressing enables a person to do – in our case (mtf) we can embrace our feminine persona while not discarding our male life we have lived. For a lot of us that could be the choice that makes us the happiest. If I can ever be of service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. A post on my home profile page wall or private message will get the fastest response. – Blessings

      • #411025
        Sarah Spice
        Registered On: November 26, 2020
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 8
        Has thanked: 47 times
        Been thanked: 74 times

        Thanks Teralynn – you seem to have managed the integration very well – that is definitely my task at the moment – I suspect a long road ahead, but very much value your support.

        X Sarah

        4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #411091
          Teralynn Loving
          Registered On: October 17, 2019
          Topics: 2
          Replies: 1068
          Has thanked: 7974 times
          Been thanked: 1872 times

          Sarah considering some of the horrible things some of our CDH sisters have gone through, I have had a pretty smooth crossdressing journey being able to embrace both of my personas without any significant difficulties. Even telling the wife and kids went a lot easier than I thought it would. So it can be done! So keep on trying. – Blessings from Teralynn

          4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #410792
      Registered On: April 30, 2016
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 726
      Has thanked: 3924 times
      Been thanked: 2259 times

      Hello and welcome (back) Sarah! Lovely to have you here with us again. Your story is very similar to many I’ve read here over the years. Not all of us are planning on full transition. While I applaud those who do, many of us here are crossdressers who have no plans to take it further than that. So, don’t feel alone or unwelcome!
      I used to belong to another group a few years ago and in the midst of a conversation I was told I wouldn’t ever really understand because I was “just a crossdresser”. I can tell you that has not, and will not happen here. I promptly left that that group and found this one and as they say, the rest is history. I’ve never felt anything but acceptance, encouragement, and support by the ladies here. So, have fun!

    • #410784
      Registered On: March 2, 2020
      Topics: 39
      Replies: 463
      Has thanked: 3989 times
      Been thanked: 2213 times

      Yep, once that cat is out of the box (bag/closet/envelope….?) is there’s no going back!

      So welcome (back) Sarah!!

    • #410778
      Stevie Steiner
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
      Topics: 37
      Replies: 799
      Has thanked: 3888 times
      Been thanked: 4244 times

      Hi Sarah and welcome back!!  Nice to meet you!   Not to worry hon, it’s still the warm and friendly place you remember.  CDH and the lovely ladies here are a natural at helping to gain confidence and strength, but you already knew that didn’t you?😉   Thanks for finding your way back and giving me the chance to meet you Kaz!  Looking forward to chatting with you!


    • #410732
      Robyn Devine
      Registered On: October 24, 2020
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 517
      Has thanked: 1618 times
      Been thanked: 2228 times


      Welcome back!  No worries Girl…this community is getting stronger every day.  We all love to help and chip in.  Take a nice deep breath and relax, your gonna be just fine!

      xo – Robyn ❤️

Viewing 18 reply threads
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