Sex and Gender

[cdheaven]

I posted this recently on a different website that is a bit more focused on transgenderism then crossdressing and received a fair amount of support. But, being that CDH is by far the best website out there for girls like us, I decided that maybe I should share here as well and see what thoughts could be offered to me as my deepest thoughts, ideas, urges and desires grow stronger.
<p style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; color: #272a34; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;”>I have long considered myself simply as a crossdresser, I love the feel of being dressed in woman’s clothing and it makes me feel ‘right’ to be dressed up. Over the years, I never put a lot of major thought into anything more then this and never considered myself to be interested in going further with this lifestyle. However, recently, I have been more obsessed with the idea of actually being a legitimate woman and have started to wonder if the concept of transitioning would be something that I would want to do. However, I do have some hesitations due to my sexual history.</p>
<p style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 0px; color: #272a34; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;”>I have always enjoyed sex, I am bisexual and relationships with both men and woman have been a part of my life since I was about 17 and first lost my virginity. I have been with more woman then men, because overall, I do not find an extreme enough attraction towards men that would make me desire a relationship with them. I guess my question is, is it possible for a MtF transgendered person to get some actual enjoyment from sexual experiences as a man? I have read a few pages via google searches that imply that even from a young age, most transgendered woman feel, for lack of a better term, wrong about using their penis, and although they might have sexual relationships, in some cases because they feel that it is what is expected of them, they don’t truly enjoy intercourse this way. Is this a solid truth? While I have typically enjoyed the physical feeling of sex and have spent plenty of alone time over the years since I was young, going solo, I’m not sure if this disqualifies me from potentially being a legitimate transgender. This is the main thing that has kept me from ever exploring the concept further, but as I get older and my feelings mature more and I desire to be a woman more, I feel it’s proper time to finally figure out if this is a factor that should keep me from taking the next steps or if I should explore and search my innermost feelings more towards this potential life changing outcome.</p>

[Anonymous]

ive read that undergoing hormone replacement therapy can deminish a persons sex drive but on the other hand I’ve heard of trans people still being able to get it up in certain situations. I’d most definitely seek out as much info as possible before deciding.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I’ve read everything here and am kinda scratching my head over this.  First, let me re-iterate, the journey one takes during transition is highly fluid-in that what one does and likes can be totally different than someone else on the same path.  Who is to say one is better than the other?  Only the individual on their own path gets to decide what’s best for them.  Just a quick re-cap about me-I’m a full time woman, having made my transition in 2010.  I don’t discuss MY personal medical’s, with anyone other than my medical professionals and partners I may be “involved” with-so I will not disclose to many of my particular “personals” here in a forum-so just don’t ask me.  What I will share-is the fact that gender identity and sexual orientation are totally different, hopefully most of you know this.  I made my transition at the age of 50-so in my mind that is not an excuse for anyone to feel that they may be “to old” to transition.  “Transition” also has many definitions-again, the lone individual on their path decides what definition best suits them.  RESEARCH is essential on your part. Do you know what the WPATH or DSM-5 or the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care are?  No-goggle it and start getting educated.  This Journey, called “transition” should not be taken lightly-it is a life altering decision that affects everyone in your life.

To the specific question posted here-as I recall-pertains to sexual activity while transitioning.  Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) takes many different forms.  There are different medications that different docs like-for whatever reason- which is why I totally advocate seeking the advise from an experienced medical professional-experienced in Gender Identity Dysphoria.  Self medicating is NOT recommended-the potential health risks are to great.  Again, research is your best friend.  HRT, like all medications, affects individuals differently.  Some loose their sexual desire, others have an increase in sexual desire.  Some loose the ability to get/maintain an erection, while others-well, you get the idea.  Your sexual orientation just may change too!  I’ve been married three times, all women.  I had never been with a man in any kind of sexual adventure. For me, years ago, the idea of being with a man was a pretty disgusting idea. Today, the idea doesn’t frighten me at all.  Why?  I can only speculate that my thinking has changed over the years.  It’s my belief, that HRT has not only helped my own body, but also the way I think and feel about things over the years.  Perhaps it’s not the HRT at all.  Perhaps it’s because of time, and the fact that I no longer feel repressed in any way-I can be myself, in the open, with everyone.  No more secrets, no more embarrassment or shame, no more hiding.  Who knows what the answer really is?  Therapy, Counseling, RESEARCH, honesty, self-acceptance and awareness are all essential (my opinion only) tools that must be completed in ones transition journey.  Some of these things are a continuing adventure, not a one-all-be-all-now done-process.  But then again-it’s your path, your journey-what works best for you?

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