- No rules, I’m free to do whatever I want whenever I want.
- Few rules, just don’t embarrass the SO
- Only public dressing at night
- Only public dressing far away from home
- No SO/cd dates
- No cd around kids or family
- No dating other cds
- No cd events
- No slutty cd attire
- CD Always asks permission
- SO always approves outfit
- CD in the house only
- No CD sleeping attire
- July 17, 2021 at 5:20 pm #519068Jennifer SwansonParticipantRegistered On: April 20, 2019Topics: 57Replies: 212Has thanked: 4575 timesBeen thanked: 1554 times
I’m not sure why, but GGs seem to have been born to rule over GBs. In your cd life what rules have been laid down.
- July 25, 2021 at 10:25 pm #523025Vecca SennLadyRegistered On: February 22, 2021Topics: 6Replies: 152Has thanked: 929 timesBeen thanked: 495 times
My wife knows, shops with me, and is impressively good with it, but for some reason I can’t get thigh highs socks or stockings to wear when I’m around her. It’s her boundary and I respect it. I may grab some when I’m away on business, but I don’t have them in the house.
- This reply was modified 4 days ago by Vecca Senn.
- July 25, 2021 at 6:46 am #522401MelindaLadyRegistered On: February 8, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 38Has thanked: 196 timesBeen thanked: 143 times
I haven’t read all the responses, but the spirit of the rule is that my wife knows I am a cross dresser, but she doesn’t want to see any evidence of it in the house, so everything needs to be put away, etc. The addendum to the rule is that despite knowing about it, she feels entitled to have a fit every time rule number one is broken.
- July 23, 2021 at 1:33 pm #521732GenevïéveLadyRegistered On: July 28, 2020Topics: 34Replies: 1494Has thanked: 12597 timesBeen thanked: 6188 times
I may be the odd girl out here but I do not like the fact that many SO’s Dominate the decision making when it comes to their crossdressing husbands.
The wives, and women in general, have free reign on any clothing style they wish… including clothing traditionally targeted to the Male populace.
So a female can walk into the office wearing pants, a collared shirt, a jacket and a tie (basically a mans suit). Then, go home and Dictate to her husband what clothing (desined for the female poulace) he can wear ???
That’s just Wrong… 🤔
The only thing my Wife doesn’t like is my 24″ wig. So I limit it’s use…
- July 20, 2021 at 3:52 pm #520473Scarlett398PrincessRegistered On: June 29, 2018Topics: 4Replies: 544Has thanked: 1190 timesBeen thanked: 1299 times
Just a fabulous question Jennifer and you’re gonna get a ton of votes and responses on this one girlfriend!
My Sexy Redhead has come miles forward with her acceptance of my thrill of cross dressing.
Her limits are few and every easy to meet. I’m not to embarrass my wife by taking care of staying within her simple limitations noted below:
* No one on her side of the family is to know about Scarlett and my thrill of cross dressing.
* No one at her work where she has a high profile position is to know her handsome husband is also a very pretty girl as well!
* No friend we have in common is to know about Scarlett.
* I can’t dress while in the presence of my wife which is just find with me. I’ve been caught a couple of times and felt very awkward while dressed as Scarlett while in her presence. However, I still have a fantasy of having a girl on girl date with us wearing similar but not the same outfits while going to a very nice restaurant and then going to a very interesting movie at the movie theater. I also have a fantasy of me being able to make love to my wife with her fully dressed up in some sexy lingerie complete with lace top thigh high black hose and black six inch heels and me in the same outfit. I know we would have a wonderful time under candle light under those circumstances and I think that fantasy will eventually move from being just a fantasy to a reality. We’ll both have a bunch of sexy fun making love while working around the sexy black lingerie!
* I can’t go out in public while my wife is in town and when I do, it can’t be in our home town, it has to be in Pensacola which is a 30 minute drive from our home or further away like to the Tanger Outlet center in Foley, Alabama or over in Sandestin at the Silver Sands Outlet mall over in Sandestin, Florida!
So those are my limitations and I really don’t have any heartache trying to meet anyone of those limitations!
We can now shop together and I always pick out all of her clothes, footwear, and accessories and she’s known as Miss Fashionista at work and she always gives all of her sense of style to my credit and lets everyone know I pick out her outfits from top to bottom. Now she’ll even pick out femme clothing for Scarlett while we are out shopping together which I never thought would happen. We keep each other’s items in the same shopping cart and check out together. Sometimes I purchase all of the goodies and sometimes she purchased them for us!
I no longer have to hide anything of Scarlett’s from her anymore and I have three closets here at our dream home full of Scarlett’s things, also may of my chest of drawers are full of Scarlett’s femme items as well! We also have two 20 by 20 foot storage units at a really nice temperature controlled storage facility! Mine is packed full of Scarlett’s wardrobe items and footwear and my Sexy Redhead’s unit is packed full as well. I have to help her every six months swap out her cool/cold weather clothing for her warm/hot weather clothing which is a full day’s work. I have to do the same thing flying solo when it comes to swapping Scarlett’s things out just like my wife’s clothing above. But that’s just fine with me. It’s just a pile of word which has to be done twice a year!
We both are extremely blessed by God to have such a wonderful loving life, two gorgeous unconditional loving corgi doggies, an absolutely gorgeous dream home which took us 45 years of hard work at high profile jobs and a ton of formal education. I have one bachelors degree and two masters degrees all with the highest of honors and all earned while working full time and going to school at night. My wife has one bachelors degree and one masters degree and she earned hers the hard way as well! So although we’ve been so very blessed, we feel like we’ve actually earned many of our blessings from God through hard work and a ton of will power and also treating people extremely nice along the way! Both of us have been very fortunate to have made such a positive impact on so many folks we’ve come in contact with over so many decades!
Again, such a wonderful question, Jennifer, and this one might become the most popular question every asked in about a year or two!
- July 20, 2021 at 1:19 pm #520374KateBaronessRegistered On: March 27, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 27Has thanked: 212 timesBeen thanked: 127 times
- July 19, 2021 at 2:59 pm #520014LeonaraAmbassadorRegistered On: October 13, 2015Topics: 4Replies: 496Has thanked: 1589 timesBeen thanked: 1198 times
Lexie, my wife knows about Leonara but prefers I dress at home (not work -retired)when she is not home…. so she gives me the opportunity to express my feminine side 2x-3x a week when she plays cards…”we adopted “don’t ask, don’t tell” for me it has been very satisfying and it has kept peace in our relationship for the last 5 years as we just celebrated our 50th Anniversary….
- July 20, 2021 at 3:57 pm #520483T.J. ByronDuchessRegistered On: October 18, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 415Has thanked: 4853 timesBeen thanked: 1843 times
Just wanted to say hi and hope you’re having a great Summer.
Won’t be long until Fall, my favorite time of year, cooler!
Hit me back, Love…
1 user thanked author for this post.
- July 19, 2021 at 2:25 pm #519985Patty PhoseDuchessRegistered On: May 7, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 1708Has thanked: 1287 timesBeen thanked: 4793 times
My wife met Patty a couple of weeks after we met. I had been wearing pantyhose, heels and a bra since I was 4 and I had been dressing and going out for 3 years before we met.
When I transformed into Patty mode for her and stepped out of the bedroom, she was stunned. She could not believe how pretty and sexy I was. She also thought we should be girlfriends and go out together. She encouraged me to do some things I would not have considered, thinking it was to bold.
Now years later I dress all the time and she still likes when I do and still encourages me to go out, even to party and meet with other CD’s. Her only complaint is she thinks my dresses and skirts are to short.
- July 19, 2021 at 2:31 pm #519989LeonaraAmbassadorRegistered On: October 13, 2015Topics: 4Replies: 496Has thanked: 1589 timesBeen thanked: 1198 times
- July 19, 2021 at 11:18 am #519883JackieAmbassadorRegistered On: February 18, 2016Topics: 27Replies: 159Has thanked: 287 timesBeen thanked: 654 times
As of two years ago now I became single once again and other than that sudden urge to have a man next to me I like it that way. So I have to say with me there are no rules, I am free to do whatever I feel like doing when I want (which can get a little wild sometimes) but I’m good and on a good but silly day and depending on what he looks like I will submit and obey him (but only until we are finished lol). Did I answer the question? I think I did because the question more applies to those in relationships, but I like to put my 2 cents in anyway!
- July 19, 2021 at 4:47 am #519752Jennifer LynnLadyRegistered On: August 15, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 246Has thanked: 103 timesBeen thanked: 1320 times
There were some rules in the beginning but as time went by they became fewer and fewer. The last rule to bite the dust was I can only date men, no women. But since I have no desire to date women there is no need for that rule either.
- July 18, 2021 at 10:17 am #519358Alison AndersonDuchessRegistered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 8Replies: 524Has thanked: 341 timesBeen thanked: 2197 times
For starters I hate the expression “she who must be obeyed.” It implies a one-sided relationship. One big problem I had with my ex was if she did something I didn’t want, she would ask “Why didn’t you tell me?”, but if I did the same thing back it was “Why didn’t you ask me?”
I was listening to a podcast recently where I heard something interesting. Instead of rules of “Thou shalt not …,” what you really need to do is to get down to the root concern. Dr. T.J. has a perfect example: not to embarrass [Dr. T.J.’s wife] to the neighbors. There are a whole slew of possible concerns which I am not even going to attempt to address. But once you know the real concern, you can reach a compromise that you both can live with. If it is strictly a rule, it is more likely to lead to resentment.
Back to the question. By the time I started going out my marriage was already hanging on by a thread with scissor in hand to cut the thread. In fact, I went for my first makeover because of the breakdown in my marriage. But at first I was only going to private parties at a home, or occasionally for a meal and shopping trip. Later on I started dressing more, like going to/from my daughter’s college when she wasn’t in the car (back after dropping her off or to when picking her up) since it was a whole day’s worth of driving. In these cases I didn’t even say anything, I just did it.
Once while she was away I attended a TG conference en femme, which included a stop at the cemetery to visit my parent’s, which was on the way. Another time she was working for a long stint out of town. There was a Harvey Fierstein show called “Casa Valentina” on Broadway, based on a book called Casa Susanna, about crossdressers in the Catskill Mountains north of New York City in the 50’s and 60’s. I got a ticket to see it, and what better way to see a play about crossdressers than while crossdressed. Unfortunately she was let go and came home before the play. I told her I was going out, but didn’t say I was going to be dressed. She is a very late sleeper, and I went in to New York (via bus) en femme to spend the day before eating and seeing the show. Of course my day involved walking around in Manhattan, visiting a museum, and taking the subway.
When I got home and she saw me, she asked “You went in like THAT?” She then started with a whole bunch of “what if” questions. But I had already reached a point where if I’m discovered, I’m discovered. It is who I am. She quickly tired of questioning me and went back to watching TV.
(I have later learned that out of context, even people you know will be unlikely to recognize you.)
After she moved out, and later after the divorce, I started doing things that she would probably have a fit over. For 2 years I have been walking around my neighborhood en femme. During the height of the pandemic I have spent almost all the time en femme. This includes shopping at my local supermarket, even having to make complaints to the courtesy counter. I have gone into the office en femme at off hours to pick up things I needed to continue working from home. I have gone to the beach in a one-piece bathing suit. I even got into a car accident (fortunately not hurt, although the car was totaled).
So my rule was either “Don’t tell” or “Don’t go into any details.”
- July 19, 2021 at 6:09 am #519772LisaTLadyRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 71Replies: 888Has thanked: 888 timesBeen thanked: 4422 times
I regularly call my wife “She who must be obeyed” both on here and lightheartedly around her in discussions. It’s based upon the phrase used by Rumpole of the Bailey series of books and television program in the uk. Both Hilda and Rumpole regarded each other with great affection and indulged each other’s idiosyncrasies. It seems fitting as my “She who must be obeyed” not only indulges me but like Hilda cares for and supports me. In Return like Rumpole I’m considerate of her feelings with regard to my femme side and the result is an easy coexistence with love and affection much like Rumpole and Hilda.
- July 18, 2021 at 4:37 pm #519555Gail RichLadyRegistered On: October 11, 2017Topics: 3Replies: 64Has thanked: 48 timesBeen thanked: 250 times
When I would drive my son back and forth to college, it was over 300 miles. I would drive with him the first day. The second day was for rest. I would dress completely including make up and wig. I would drive around and occasionally go into stores. I don’t pass, so I would only do this far from home
I saw the show Casa Valentina, but I did not go en femme. I did underdress in bra, panties, pantyhose and forms.
- July 18, 2021 at 10:48 am #519377Jennifer SwansonDuchessRegistered On: April 20, 2019Topics: 57Replies: 212Has thanked: 4575 timesBeen thanked: 1554 times
- July 18, 2021 at 10:46 am #519376Jennifer SwansonDuchessRegistered On: April 20, 2019Topics: 57Replies: 212Has thanked: 4575 timesBeen thanked: 1554 times
Hi Allison, I also got into a bad car accident while fully femme. Car totaled and ambulance to hospital. 3 broken vertebrae but my femme self took it all in stride. My wife who is supportive came to the hospital with my boy clothes. I’m glad to hear you’re in better shape now. Hugs Jennifer’s
- July 18, 2021 at 1:54 pm #519443DuchessRegistered On: October 18, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 415Has thanked: 4853 timesBeen thanked: 1843 times
This situation needs to always be in mind, when we are out, dressed as a female, unavoidable in this particular situation, but…
In our Instructional information in CD training;
Have an emergency bag of old sweat clothes to jump into if called home for any reason. Don’t remove the underdress. Have socks to cover stockings, makeup removal wipes, nail polish wipes, a ball hat….be able to present as a male if the call comes! It came to me from my tearful wife when our beloved dog lye dead on our driveway.
I was so glad I had prepared for the worst.
- This reply was modified 1 week ago by T.J. Byron.
- July 19, 2021 at 2:40 pm #519995
- July 19, 2021 at 5:44 am #519767stephanie plumbBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 166Replies: 2249Has thanked: 3567 timesBeen thanked: 10623 times
I always ensure I have a “revert to Him” pack in the back of the car and can very quickly make the change. Even in the car if necessary. It takes a bit of planning but eventually becomes second nature. And is very reassuring having a back-out plan.
- July 18, 2021 at 4:24 pm #519537Jennifer SwansonDuchessRegistered On: April 20, 2019Topics: 57Replies: 212Has thanked: 4575 timesBeen thanked: 1554 times
- July 18, 2021 at 6:04 am #519226Alice BlackDuchessRegistered On: January 18, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 198Has thanked: 395 timesBeen thanked: 511 times
My wife has become more accepting but only due to other circumstances. She is angry with one of our friends and over the disappearance of our cat. So, my crossdressing has fallen down in terms of her annoyance scale. She accepts what I wear when she is awake, She only freaks out if she is asleep, wakes up and sees me in fem garments.
She called me over early this morning and I was wearing my mini tiger dress trying to keep warm from a/c. And, i laid in bed with her in that outfit for about 10 minutes. this would not have happened a month ago.
- July 18, 2021 at 6:10 am #519229LadyRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 71Replies: 888Has thanked: 888 timesBeen thanked: 4422 times
My wife is positively supportive and encouraged me to wear a nightdress. Even so she found it disconcerting to half wake during the night next to a long haired blond in a pink baby doll. When I woke the next morning she was on the far edge of the bed. I still wear nighties but the baby doll stays in my wardrobe.
- July 18, 2021 at 5:09 am #519221
- July 18, 2021 at 4:56 am #519218Eva KellyLadyRegistered On: March 1, 2021Topics: 10Replies: 376Has thanked: 4617 timesBeen thanked: 1897 times
CD at home only, for now. I see a transition in my future, so she will have to change also. I have read many articles on husbands who want to transition and the resistance from their S.O.’s. I can see both sides of the situation, and there is no on size fits all answer. I might write an article about this subject one day.
- July 18, 2021 at 3:26 am #519196Regi KellyPrincessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 37Replies: 1193Has thanked: 13692 timesBeen thanked: 5394 times
I said no rules, but that isnt quite right, the one rule is “be happy”
My wife is fully onboard, with however far I wish to take this, including if I decide I wish to transition, her only wish is that I am happy, in whatever steps I take.
Again,, Im a very lucky girl.
- July 18, 2021 at 12:59 am #519176Requal JoanneLadyRegistered On: December 15, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 120Has thanked: 96 timesBeen thanked: 442 times
It is more the embarrassment for my SO that makes her apprehensive. So no dressing in front of our adult children and grandchildren and only at home. My SO has not problem with Requal’s fashions, as she assists her in choosing them.
- July 17, 2021 at 11:35 pm #519157LadyRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 71Replies: 888Has thanked: 888 timesBeen thanked: 4422 times
It was interesting reading the survey. There are rules but no rules.
There’s a no dating rule but that’s nothing to do with being cd.
There is caring for each other. The best example is my nightie. She would prefer me not to dress but early on after I came out to her she gave me one of her slips to sleep in. I sleep in silky nighties most nights now but some nights I sleep naked. It all depends how I feel and how she feels. I don’t think she’s has ever asked me not to dress in bed it just happens that sometimes I don’t, more often I do.
She is sensitive to the tits. I always have a bra on (except in bed) and a small amount of natural shape shows as a result. If I’m putting my forms in when we are relaxing in the evening together I ask first. It’s never been no but in the early days it made it easier and it’s a habit.
I dress androgynously all of the time. So most of my clothes are now designed for women but don’t scream cd. I have space and opportunity to dress fully femme. She can join me if she wants but doesn’t need to. It tends to be evenings and we set a rolling three nights a week limit as a boundary. It’s never been tested and I don’t feel constrained by it. In purely practical terms most evenings I wear yoga pants, leggings or jeans. If I want to “dress” in skirt and stockings and be very “Lisa” I go through to the second lounge/ office and have total freedom. The upside of this is it’s understood as my private time so I’m never interrupted as she knocks before joining me.
It’s been Six months since I came out to her. We set boundaries and systems to try and adapt and both be comfortable in our shared space and with each other. Like so many partners she doesn’t actually want to live with a woman and though luckily I don’t want to be woman, at the start there’s a real fear of “her” taking over our lives. Setting limits and not creating surprise encounters allowed a normality to return.
- This reply was modified 1 week ago by LisaT.
- July 17, 2021 at 7:05 pm #519095Jess SecretLadyRegistered On: February 18, 2021Topics: 7Replies: 93Has thanked: 286 timesBeen thanked: 463 times
I have a great boyfriend and it’s whatever I want whenever I want, and given I wear beautiful/romantic lingerie to bed every night and he loves it, I can’t imagine he would ever have any complaints lol. I don’t dress in public since it’s all about lingerie in the bedroom for me, but I’d be free to if I so desired.
- July 19, 2021 at 12:21 am #519707LadyRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 71Replies: 888Has thanked: 888 timesBeen thanked: 4422 times
- July 17, 2021 at 5:37 pm #519076DuchessRegistered On: October 18, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 415Has thanked: 4853 timesBeen thanked: 1843 times
My wife and I are good with ” Dr.T.J ” I come and go wherever and whenever I please. I do park in the very private driveway, so she asks I don’t embarrasse her to the neighbors. I have no problem with that.
We collaborate with each other in our CDing Instructional School and at the TRANSPACE SEATTLE to give others information on dressing and makeup/ colors analysis.
I Have Never Been Freer to be me in my life.
Love to all…
- July 17, 2021 at 5:30 pm #519074Lexie TraskPrincess - AnnualRegistered On: August 9, 2020Topics: 15Replies: 135Has thanked: 342 timesBeen thanked: 745 times
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