What are the rules your SO has placed on your cd activities

So what are the spoken and unspoken rules in your household?

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  • No rules, I’m free to do whatever I want whenever I want.
  • Few rules, just don’t embarrass the SO
  • Only public dressing at night
  • Only public dressing far away from home
  • No SO/cd dates
  • No cd around kids or family
  • No dating other cds
  • No cd events
  • No slutty cd attire
  • CD Always asks permission
  • SO always approves outfit
  • CD in the house only
  • No CD sleeping attire
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    • #523025
      Vecca Senn
      Lady
      Registered On: February 22, 2021
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      My wife knows, shops with me, and is impressively good with it, but for some reason I can’t get thigh highs socks or stockings to wear when I’m around her. It’s her boundary and I respect it. I may grab some when I’m away on business, but I don’t have them in the house.

      • This reply was modified 4 days ago by Vecca Senn.
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    • #522401
      Melinda
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      Registered On: February 8, 2016
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      I haven’t read all the responses, but the spirit of the rule is that my wife knows I am a cross dresser, but she doesn’t want to see any evidence of it in the house, so everything needs to be put away, etc. The addendum to the rule is that despite knowing about it, she feels entitled to have a fit every time rule number one is broken.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #521732
      Genevïéve
      Lady
      Registered On: July 28, 2020
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      I may be the odd girl out here but I do not like the fact that many SO’s Dominate the decision making when it comes to their crossdressing husbands.

      The wives, and women in general, have free reign on any clothing style they wish… including clothing traditionally targeted to the Male populace.

      So a female can walk into the office wearing pants, a collared shirt, a jacket and a tie (basically a mans suit). Then, go home and Dictate to her husband what clothing (desined for the female poulace) he can wear ???

      That’s just Wrong… 🤔

      The only thing my Wife doesn’t like is my 24″ wig. So I limit it’s use…

      Gen ♥️

    • #520473
      Scarlett398
      Princess
      Registered On: June 29, 2018
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      Just a fabulous question Jennifer and you’re gonna get a ton of votes and responses on this one girlfriend!

      My Sexy Redhead has come miles forward with her acceptance of my thrill of cross dressing.

      Her limits are few and every easy to meet. I’m not to embarrass my wife by taking care of staying within her simple limitations noted below:

      * No one on her side of the family is to know about Scarlett and my thrill of cross dressing.

      * No one at her work where she has a high profile position is to know her handsome husband is also a very pretty girl as well!

      * No friend we have in common is to know about Scarlett.

      * I can’t dress while in the presence of my wife which is just find with me. I’ve been caught a couple of times and felt very awkward while dressed as Scarlett while in her presence. However, I still have a fantasy of having a girl on girl date with us wearing similar but not the same outfits while going to a very nice restaurant and then going to a very interesting movie at the movie theater. I also have a fantasy of me being able to make love to my wife with her fully dressed up in some sexy lingerie complete with lace top thigh high black hose and black six inch heels and me in the same outfit. I know we would have a wonderful time under candle light under those circumstances and I think that fantasy will eventually move from being just a fantasy to a reality. We’ll both have a bunch of sexy fun making love while working around the sexy black lingerie!

      * I can’t go out in public while my wife is in town and when I do, it can’t be in our home town, it has to be in Pensacola which is a 30 minute drive from our home or further away like to the Tanger Outlet center in Foley, Alabama or over in Sandestin at the Silver Sands Outlet mall over in Sandestin, Florida!

      So those are my limitations and I really don’t have any heartache trying to meet anyone of those limitations!

      We can now shop together and I always pick out all of her clothes, footwear, and accessories and she’s known as Miss Fashionista at work and she always gives all of her sense of style to my credit and lets everyone know I pick out her outfits from top to bottom. Now she’ll even pick out femme clothing for Scarlett while we are out shopping together which I never thought would happen. We keep each other’s items in the same shopping cart and check out together. Sometimes I purchase all of the goodies and sometimes she purchased them for us!

      I no longer have to hide anything of Scarlett’s from her anymore and I have three closets here at our dream home full of Scarlett’s things, also may of my chest of drawers are full of Scarlett’s femme items as well! We also have two 20 by 20 foot storage units at a really nice temperature controlled storage facility! Mine is packed full of Scarlett’s wardrobe items and footwear and my Sexy Redhead’s unit is packed full as well. I have to help her every six months swap out her cool/cold weather clothing for her warm/hot weather clothing which is a full day’s work. I have to do the same thing flying solo when it comes to swapping Scarlett’s things out just like my wife’s clothing above. But that’s just fine with me. It’s just a pile of word which has to be done twice a year!

      We both are extremely blessed by God to have such a wonderful loving life, two gorgeous unconditional loving corgi doggies, an absolutely gorgeous dream home which took us 45 years of hard work at high profile jobs and a ton of formal education. I have one bachelors degree and two masters degrees all with the highest of honors and all earned while working full time and going to school at night. My wife has one bachelors degree and one masters degree and she earned hers the hard way as well! So although we’ve been so very blessed, we feel like we’ve actually earned many of our blessings from God through hard work and a ton of will power and also treating people extremely nice along the way! Both of us have been very fortunate to have made such a positive impact on so many folks we’ve come in contact with over so many decades!

      Again, such a wonderful question, Jennifer, and this one might become the most popular question every asked in about a year or two!

      XOXOXO Scarlett

    • #520374
      Kate
      Baroness
      Registered On: March 27, 2020
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      Since I’m only out to my wife, who is supportive, I have enough rules of my own. 😊

    • #520014
      Leonara
      Ambassador
      Registered On: October 13, 2015
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      Lexie, my wife knows about Leonara but prefers I dress at home (not work -retired)when she is not home…. so she gives me the opportunity to express my feminine side 2x-3x a week when she plays cards…”we adopted “don’t ask, don’t tell” for me it has been very satisfying and it has kept peace in our relationship for the last 5 years as we just celebrated our 50th Anniversary….
      Regards, Leonara

      • #520483
        T.J. Byron
        Duchess
        Registered On: October 18, 2018
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        Hey Leonara…

        Just wanted to say hi and hope you’re having a great Summer.

        Won’t be long until Fall,  my favorite time of year,  cooler!

        Hit me back,  Love…

        Dr.T.J.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #519985
      Patty Phose
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 7, 2016
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      My wife met Patty a couple of weeks after we met. I had been wearing pantyhose, heels and a bra since I was 4 and I had been dressing and going out for 3 years before we met.

      When I transformed into Patty mode for her and stepped out of the bedroom, she was stunned. She could not believe how pretty and sexy I was. She also thought we should be girlfriends and go out together. She encouraged me to do some things I would not have considered, thinking it was to bold.

      Now years later I dress all the time and she still likes when I do and still encourages me to go out, even to party and meet with other CD’s. Her only complaint is she thinks my dresses and skirts are to short.

    • #519883
      Jackie
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      Registered On: February 18, 2016
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      As of two years ago now I became single once again and other than that sudden urge to have a man next to me I like it that way. So I have to say with me there are no rules, I am free to do whatever I feel like doing when I want (which can get a little wild sometimes) but I’m good and on a good but silly day and depending on what he looks like I will submit and obey him (but only until we are finished lol). Did I answer the question? I think I did because the question more applies to those in relationships, but I like to put my 2 cents in anyway!

    • #519752
      Jennifer Lynn
      Lady
      Registered On: August 15, 2020
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      There were some rules in the beginning but as time went by they became fewer and fewer. The last rule to bite the dust was I can only date men, no women. But since I have no desire to date women there is no need for that rule either.

    • #519358
      Alison Anderson
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
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      For starters I hate the expression “she who must be obeyed.”  It implies a one-sided relationship.  One big problem I had with my ex was if she did something I didn’t want, she would ask “Why didn’t you tell me?”, but if I did the same thing back it was “Why didn’t you ask me?”

      I was listening to a podcast recently where I heard something interesting.  Instead of rules of “Thou shalt not …,” what you really need to do is to get down to the root concern.  Dr. T.J. has a perfect example: not to embarrass [Dr. T.J.’s wife] to the neighbors.  There are a whole slew of possible concerns which I am not even going to attempt to address.  But once you know the real concern, you can reach a compromise that you both can live with.  If it is strictly a rule, it is more likely to lead to resentment.

      Back to the question.  By the time I started going out my marriage was already hanging on by a thread with scissor in hand to cut the thread.  In fact, I went for my first makeover because of the breakdown in my marriage.  But at first I was only going to private parties at a home, or occasionally for a meal and shopping trip.  Later on I started dressing more, like going to/from my daughter’s college when she wasn’t in the car (back after dropping her off or to when picking her up) since it was a whole day’s worth of driving.  In these cases I didn’t even say anything, I just did it.

      Once while she was away I attended a TG conference en femme, which included a stop at the cemetery to visit my parent’s, which was on the way.  Another time she was working for a long stint out of town.  There was a Harvey Fierstein show called “Casa Valentina” on Broadway, based on a book called Casa Susanna, about crossdressers in the Catskill Mountains north of New York City in the 50’s and 60’s.  I got a ticket to see it, and what better way to see a play about crossdressers than while crossdressed.  Unfortunately she was let go and came home before the play.  I told her I was going out, but didn’t say I was going to be dressed.  She is a very late sleeper, and I went  in to New York (via bus) en femme to spend the day before eating and seeing the show.  Of course my day involved walking around in Manhattan, visiting a museum, and taking the subway.

      When I got home and she saw me, she asked “You went in like THAT?”  She then started with a whole bunch of “what if” questions.  But I had already reached a point where if I’m discovered, I’m discovered.  It is who I am.  She quickly tired of questioning me and went back to watching TV.

      (I have later learned that out of context, even people you know will be unlikely to recognize you.)

      After she moved out, and later after the divorce, I started doing things that she would probably have a fit over.  For 2 years I have been walking around my neighborhood en femme.  During the height of the pandemic I have spent almost all the time en femme. This includes shopping at my local supermarket, even having to make complaints to the courtesy counter.  I have gone into the office en femme at off hours to pick up things I needed to continue working from home.  I have gone to the beach in a one-piece bathing suit. I even got into a car accident (fortunately not hurt, although the car was totaled).

      So my rule was either “Don’t tell” or “Don’t go into any details.”

      • #519772
        LisaT
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        Registered On: January 31, 2021
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        I regularly call my wife “She who must be obeyed” both on here and lightheartedly around her in discussions.  It’s based upon the phrase used by Rumpole of the Bailey series of books and television program in the uk. Both Hilda and Rumpole regarded each other with great affection and indulged each other’s idiosyncrasies. It seems fitting as my “She who must be obeyed” not only indulges me but like Hilda cares for and supports me. In Return like Rumpole I’m considerate of her feelings with regard to my femme side and the result is an easy coexistence with love and affection much like Rumpole and Hilda.

         

        hugs

         

        Lisa xxx

      • #519555
        Gail Rich
        Lady
        Registered On: October 11, 2017
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        When I would drive my son back and forth to college, it was over 300 miles. I would drive with him the first day. The second day was for rest. I would dress completely including make up and wig. I would drive around and occasionally go into stores. I don’t pass, so I would only do this far from home
        I saw the show Casa Valentina, but I did not go en femme. I did underdress in bra, panties, pantyhose and forms.

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      • #519377
        Jennifer Swanson
        Duchess
        Registered On: April 20, 2019
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        By the way, she who must be obeyed was from Rumploe of the Bailey, a British sitcom.

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      • #519376
        Jennifer Swanson
        Duchess
        Registered On: April 20, 2019
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        Hi Allison, I also got into a bad car accident while fully femme.  Car totaled and ambulance to hospital.  3 broken vertebrae but my femme self took it all in stride.  My wife who is supportive came to the hospital with my boy clothes.  I’m glad to hear you’re in better shape now.  Hugs Jennifer’s

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        • #519443
          T.J. Byron
          Duchess
          Registered On: October 18, 2018
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          JENNIFER ;

          This situation needs to always be in mind, when we are out, dressed as a female,  unavoidable in this particular situation,  but…

          In our Instructional information in CD training;

          Have an emergency  bag of old sweat clothes to jump into if called home for any reason.  Don’t remove the underdress. Have socks to cover stockings,  makeup removal wipes,  nail polish wipes,  a ball hat….be able to present as a male if the call comes! It came to me from my tearful wife when our beloved dog lye dead on our driveway.

          I was so glad I had prepared for the worst.

          Love Dr.T.J.

          • This reply was modified 1 week ago by T.J. Byron.
          • #519995
            Leonara
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            Registered On: October 13, 2015
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            Thank you Dr T.J. For the advice…. My bag is ready!
            Hugs, Leonara

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          • #519767
            stephanie plumb
            Baroness - Annual
            Registered On: November 17, 2018
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            Good advice.

            I always ensure I have a “revert to Him” pack in the back of the car and can very quickly make the change.  Even in the car if necessary. It takes a bit of planning but eventually becomes second nature. And is very reassuring having a back-out plan.

            4 users thanked author for this post.
          • #519537
            Jennifer Swanson
            Duchess
            Registered On: April 20, 2019
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            Actually I had an emergency bag in the back of the car.  But I was in no position to get it.  My wife had to go to the towing company and use a crowbar to get it out of the car the following day.

            3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #519226
      Alice Black
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 18, 2020
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      My wife has become more accepting but only due to other circumstances. She is angry with one of our friends and over the disappearance of our cat. So, my crossdressing has fallen down in terms of her annoyance scale. She accepts what I wear when she is awake, She only freaks out if she is asleep, wakes up and sees me in fem garments.

      She called me over early this morning and I was wearing my mini tiger dress trying to keep warm from a/c. And, i laid in bed with her in that outfit for about 10 minutes. this would not have happened a month ago.

      Alice Black

      • #519229
        LisaT
        Lady
        Registered On: January 31, 2021
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        My wife is positively supportive and encouraged me to wear a nightdress. Even so she found it disconcerting to half wake during the night next to a long haired blond in a pink baby doll. When I woke the next morning she was on the far edge of the bed. I still wear nighties but the baby doll stays in my wardrobe.

        Hugs

        Lisa xxx

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        • #520069
          Marlene Roberts
          Lady
          Registered On: December 9, 2019
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          That is so funny! [Coincidentally we are going shopping tomorrow and one item on my list is a baby doll for the hot summer nights. The SO does not mind.] Marlene.

          3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #519221
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Princess
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
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      hi Jennifer Do you mean request that your SO may have?

      Stephanie

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    • #519218
      Eva Kelly
      Lady
      Registered On: March 1, 2021
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      CD at home only, for now. I see a transition in my future, so she will have to change also. I have read many articles on husbands who want to transition and the resistance from their S.O.’s. I can see both sides of the situation, and there is no on size fits all answer. I might write an article about this subject one day.

    • #519196
      Regi Kelly
      Princess
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
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      I said no rules, but that isnt quite right, the one rule is “be happy”
      My wife is fully onboard, with however far I wish to take this, including if I decide I wish to transition, her only wish is that I am happy, in whatever steps I take.
      Again,, Im a very lucky girl.
      Hugs, Regi👸💕

    • #519176
      Requal Joanne
      Lady
      Registered On: December 15, 2020
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      It is more the embarrassment for my SO that makes her apprehensive.    So no dressing in front of our adult children and grandchildren and only at home.   My SO has not problem with Requal’s fashions, as she assists her in choosing them.

    • #519157
      LisaT
      Lady
      Registered On: January 31, 2021
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      It was interesting reading the survey. There are rules but no rules.

      There’s a no dating rule but that’s nothing to do with being cd.

      There is caring for each other. The best example is my nightie. She would prefer me not to dress but early on after I came out to her she gave me one of her slips to sleep in. I sleep in silky nighties most nights now but some nights I sleep naked. It all depends how I feel and how she feels. I don’t think she’s has ever asked me not to dress in bed it just happens that sometimes I don’t, more often I do.

      She is sensitive to the tits. I always have a bra on (except in bed) and a small amount of natural shape shows as a result. If I’m putting my forms in when we are relaxing in the evening together I ask first. It’s never been no but in the early days it made it easier and it’s a habit.

      I dress androgynously all of the time. So most of my clothes are now designed for women but don’t scream cd. I have space and opportunity to dress fully femme. She can join me if she wants but doesn’t need to. It tends to be evenings and we set a rolling three nights a week limit as a boundary. It’s never been tested and I don’t feel constrained by it. In purely practical terms most evenings I wear yoga pants, leggings or jeans. If I want to “dress” in skirt and stockings and be very “Lisa” I go through to the second lounge/ office and have total freedom. The upside of this is it’s understood as my private time so I’m never interrupted as she knocks before joining me.

      It’s been Six months since I came out to her. We set boundaries and systems to try and adapt and both be comfortable in our shared space and with each other. Like so many partners she doesn’t actually want to live with a woman and though luckily I don’t want to be woman, at the start there’s a real fear of “her” taking over our lives. Setting limits and not creating surprise encounters allowed a normality to return.

      • This reply was modified 1 week ago by LisaT.
    • #519095
      Jess Secret
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      Registered On: February 18, 2021
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      I have a great boyfriend and it’s whatever I want whenever I want, and given I wear beautiful/romantic lingerie to bed every night and he loves it, I can’t imagine he would ever have any complaints lol. I don’t dress in public since it’s all about lingerie in the bedroom for me, but I’d be free to if I so desired.

      • #519707
        LisaT
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        It sounds as though he is a very lucky man and what’s even better he knows it.

        Hugs

        Lisa xxx

        3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #519868
          Jess Secret
          Lady
          Registered On: February 18, 2021
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          Oh he definitely does Lisa, we have an incredible relationship and things are always exciting in the bedroom. I know how lucky I am as well to be with a man like him.

          2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #519076
      T.J. Byron
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 18, 2018
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      My wife and I are good with ” Dr.T.J ”  I come and go wherever and whenever I please.  I do park in the very private driveway,  so she asks I don’t embarrasse her to the neighbors. I have no problem with that.

      We collaborate with each other in our CDing Instructional School and at the  TRANSPACE SEATTLE to give others information on dressing and makeup/ colors analysis.

      I Have Never Been Freer to be me in my life.

      Love to all…

      Dr.T.J.

    • #519074
      Lexie Trask
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: August 9, 2020
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      The options are not complete.

      My SO doesn’t know that I cross dress at work. She doesn’t accept it in any form, at any time or place.

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