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Last weekend, my wife and I went to Goodwill for a little shopping. We each went our own way in the store. Now, I’m not a quick shopper by any means. I finally got the courage to take a little black dress, fold it over my arm to hide what it was, and head toward the check out. It was a short dress with a kind of skater style bottom, I really liked it. I ran into my wife, and she asked if I minded showing her what I found. So, I held the dress up for her to see. She told me that she didn’t think it would fit in the waist. The dressing rooms, of course, are still closed. So, I disappointingly put it back and left empty handed. And it had taken so much courage for me to pick the dress, and prepare myself to hand it to the clerk to buy. But, on the bright side, this was a new level of involvement from my wife. She was not judging me or trying to prevent me from getting something. It felt more like she was trying to help me, which I see as a positive step in the right direction. Maybe next time I should ask her if she will help me find something nice…
I just love Goodwill. I’m a plus girl so I rarely find anything but I still love the hunt. Your wife was most likely right. My SO has no problem pointing out what I can’t see or am in denile about. In my mind everything fits. lol! Great job finding the courage to almost buy something. Next time you will. So happy your SO joined in. It really helps to have that support. Good luck and I hope the dressing rooms open soon can’t wait to get back out there.
Dana 💋❤️
The help you were been looking for may have just started so be patient. She has possibly opened herself up in showing her interest in you. Given advice is certainly important in an acceptance and may be the beginnings of something worthy. Best to you and look forward to your next shopping trip. You may be surprised…..
Stephanie 🌹
Hi Birel Nice meeting you and you go girl you got the courage to do it this time you can do it again. My favorite shopping place is Goodwill when we get to go to big city we always plan the time to shop. Ive never had the courage to look on my own so wife stays pretty close as we shop together and look usually at shoes first then dresses and most of time we find a few things for Stephanie and when we get home she washes them and then the (he he ) the fashion show kind of a ritual . my wife is so helpful when it comes to clothes at the store she dosent try any thing to embarrass me I think because I have the money to pay (ha ha ) hope some day to get courage like you girlfriend thanks .
Stephanie Bass
Hi Birel,
I’m sorry your shopping trip left you empty-handed, but it was a nice story to read. I remember how nervous I was when I bought my first dress at Dressbarn, or those women’s shoes at Payless. It was like trying to buy booze when I was a teenager (except nobody challenged me, this time). It’s quite different for me now, since I accepted the truth that I’m a CD and socially Trans.
Hugs,
Bettylou
Hi Birel. It is truly a great story.It is so nice to have a SO to be supportive and giving advice. I went shopping yesterday and I spent hours looking for some thing cute for spring. Everything was wrong . Wrong size, wrong color, too much money. Just had a bad day. so i just decided to go over to the men’s dept i did find a few things i liked. I came home, as usual my wife asked to see what i have purchased and she was happy to see that i bought only men’s clothing. They are still in bags in our bed room i am not even interested in trying them on. She came to me and showed me a cute outfit she found on line and asked if she should order it. I just said no thank you and hugged her. She truly knows how i feel. You have some one that is special. Next time you find that special dress and its only the waist that has to be taken out then take it to a tailor. When you think about it getting something to fit off the rack is pure luck for most woman. Our waist size is always going to be a our concern. Loved the story.
Luv Stephanie
That’s wonderful! I know how such small symbols of support and acceptance can make a huge difference. Occasionally my wife will mention something about my clothes, how something looks, how it fits, or not. she also occasionally offers to braid my hair. Soon aster I first came out to her she sent me a link to enfemme style, that just about melted my heart!
I know she is not super comfortable with this side of me, but those little signs that she is trying are awesome!
Hi Birel,
My wife will go shopping with me,however most times she tells me that too tight or it’s out of style.
We definately have different tastes and a lot of stuff at goodeill is out of style.
However that doesn’t mean I don’t like it.
Also I still like cloths on the tight side.lol
I will be glad when you can try stuff on again thats the most fun of goodeill shopping.
Pattty
Birel
actually handing back a LBD, how sad…but as others have said, the tide is gradually turning, so there was a plus side….stay smiling and positive honey….and there’s always the next trip out !!!!
Stay safe, grace xx
I think you did the best thing you could do. You showed her that her opinion is important to you, and that you’ll listen. It helps a wife to know these things no matter how much they already know. Maybe next time ask for her help in finding something that you both like. Small steps, but they’re in the right direction.
Bridgette
Good question Birel,
My SO and I frequent thrift stores, and I will point out things that “I” like and she will respond with something that indicates it would not fit “her” (herself). I think she knows I’m looking for me, especially if I’m looking at jeans or shoes/boots. If I find something I generally have to find time to return alone, and hope they still have what I had found.
On the other hand, it sounds like your wife is genuine, but if you see something you like, get it! I’ve missed out on some cute items that were gone when I returned.
😉While my wife remains somewhat apprehensive about Requal, she will at times when shopping say “what would you like” or “would you like to buy something to?” or even has said “that dress would look nice on you.”
I do love my wife and believe that she does not mind having Requal around the home occasionally.
I would love to go shopping with my wife. I have picked stocking with her, but that is about it. She does buy me a pair of panties on occasion. She has made it very clear she does not want to see me dressed up so will not shop for clothing. Sounds like you are moving in the right direction with her. You go girl.
Holly
Hi Birel,
Thank you so much for sharing this. Having your wife accompany you on shopping trips is an important part of building your relationship but I must say I think I’d have bought the dress partly to see whether I was gauging my size and what would fit well but also because I’ve found that most stores are willing to exchange a dress for a larger size or refund the purchase money. My SO strongly disapproves of my dressing as HildaRuth so I have only ever shopped alone. Pre Covid the rule at Marks and Spencers was that you had to use the changing rooms according to how you presented. So when in drab I had to use the male changing room and when en femme the female changing room. I had no difficulty doing either and whichever way I presented the sales assistants were always accepting and courteous.
HRxx
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