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So a couple of nights ago I had an opportunity to go out of the house alone (without my wife) to go grocery shopping. I decided that night I would go out and shop in a bra. This to me was a big step but I wanted to go for it.
Here is a little background about my crossdressing. It is hard for me to dress around the house as my wife does not know that I still crossdress. I wear panties all day but still change into men’s underwear when I sleep. A couple of weeks ago, she accidentally found a bra that I had purchased. I was dumb-founded. She asked me what was this and I could not say a word. I wished that I could tell her that I liked to crossdress and see if she would support (and even help me) but I couldn’t say anything. For the next couple of days, she kept asking me if I still had the bra and I lied to her (which I hate doing) and told her that I had thrown it. I am lucky that I can dress during the day as I work from home and she goes into the office so during the week I get to dress up from 9:00 to 3:30 each day. Unfortunately I don’t get to put on any makeup. I don’t own a wig. At least I can put on a bra (usually padded with socks but sometimes au natural). I have bought some shapewear (control panty and a body suit) that I usually wear. BTW, if you use a control panty and pull it tight, it works well as a gaff. But that is for another story.
So because I can’t really dress at home, I had to hide the bra I was going to use to get it to the car. Good thing I have a “fanny pack” because it was easy to conceal in there.
The bra is a Genie Bra (size XL) in a Nude colour that I recent bought from Walmart. It has nice padding but I do find it to be a little small so I might go and pick up an XXL instead. I really like the quality of the bra and how it sits on me. For $16.97 (Canadian), I think it is a very good investment if you are looking for a full support with no wire bra. I would categorize this type of bra as a sports bra but that is my opinion.
Back to my story.
I head out and head over to the closest school parking lot to change. After I change in the car, a sense of excitement comes over me. It isn’t a sexual excitement but a lovely feeling inside of me. I could feel my heart pounding a little faster so I take a few minutes before pulling away to calm myself down.
I get to my local Walmart. I must have spent (what I felt was 5-10 minutes) fixing my bra straps of my Genie bra. Well it seemed that long but probably wasn’t. I get out of my car, get my shopping bags, lock up the car and head into the store.
What I felt next was one of the weirdest feelings I have ever felt. I felt that every person was looking at me. I thought that each person was thinking, “OMG there is a man wearing a bra”. I would hear a girl giggle and I would turn my head to look at the girl. I wouldn’t call it a “panic attack” but it was something. So I stopped, pulled my cart over towards the side and said to myself, “Really Michelle. Is everyone really looking at you? No.” … and … “Were those girls giggling at you or at the small teddy bear they were looking at?” Then it really hit me, no one was looking at me directly. To be honest, no one around me gave a crap about what I was wearing.
With this new security and calming thoughts, I pulled out my phone to look at my shopping list and proceeded to walk around doing my normal grocery shop. As I was shopping, I was looking at people to see if they were looking at me and I did get some weird looks but I didn’t care and they didn’t say anything to me.
Now, I have to be honest with you, my confidence grew more when I was getting smiles from people. Especially I remember 3 smiles from 3 separate sis women. I think 1 even winked and smiled at me. I remember there was a shorter woman that could not reach something on one of the shelves so I asked if I could help her. She graciously accepted as I grabbed the items off the shelf. We were literally standing beside each other so if she could see something (and say something), she would have but instead, I heard some beautiful words, “Thank you so much.” and she gave me an amazing smile and a wink. I was so happy. I think I might have blushed a little (I really can’t remember) and quickly replied back, “You are so welcome sweetie and thank you”. She smiled back at me and we went our different ways.
So I finished the shop and now the final test was the checkout. I looked at the checkout and luckily the lines were pretty small but there still was a wait. I had the confidence of the shop behind me but this feeling came over me as I thought that I had to stand in line with other people. I immediately said to myself, “You got this GIRL!” Just think on how good the shopping was, this will be no different.”
I finally got to the checkout girl (I am sure she was cis but nowadays you never do know) and I passed her my reusable shopping bags and she smiled at me. She asked me how was my day going so far and we made some small talk but there was one thing that I noticed. She never said Sir. As she was finishing, she asked me if she could help me pack my shopping bags. Normally they don’t do that at this Walmart. I said “that would be lovely sweetie” and gave her a small gentle smile. All she couldn’t stop doing is smiling. I went on my phone to transfer some money into my account to pay for all of this. She finished packing and I finally hear her say “How would you like to pay sweetie?” I was shocked and I surely did blush. She gave me a nice smile and I thought I heard a little giggle. I could see that she was having some fun and I was playing along with her.
I paid my bill and grabbed my shopping bags. I turned to her and clearly said, “Thank you for making my night and have yourself a great evening. Be safe and take care. I hope to see you the next time.” Now this time it was her time to blush a little and gently said, “It was my pleasure and Thank You!”. She gave me a nice gentle smile and looked at the next customer and I clearly hear her say, “Hello Sir. How are you today?”
I walked out of the store on Cloud 9. It was an amazing experience that I will never forget!
Now back to reality when I get home. I wish I could walk in the my front door with a bra on but that hopefully will have to be another story.
I’m a 64 year old mtf unpassable. I do what I can with what I have. Been living as woman 24 7 for 3 years now and love it. I use to go out dressed up sluty to liquor stores Walmart didn’t have any trouble as a fit 6 2 any males would go away before saying thing. I’ve found most sales people are helpful even males when buying tools. City trends has nice things and good prices . My fav bra 34 b I barely fill out is from Pink . love sisters ❤️
Goodmorning Michelle, some success for you at Walmart a ice smiling checkout operator. You left feeling bouyant. Your home front will take time, talking helps, one improvement at a time. If you can resolve too admit to your wife about crossdressing that may help.
Finding a level of acceptance for both people can benefit your lives.
All the best. Perhaps you could dress for her at home, show her what you like to wear over a coffee, and couple talk.
Jane
Thanks for sharing some of your adventure Michelle.
That feeling you described when getting the bra on and about to step out……giddy up.
I’m in a similar situation not wanting to dress at home to protect my spouse. She found a printout portfolio of my fav pics i had taken to my VA doctor as we were discussing crossdressing and can’t believe i left it out. She just doesn’t want to chat about it. Did my best to purge for over 10 years but here i am, panties under my shorts typing you right now.
Happy for you!
Hello Michelle.
Congratulations for pushing your boundaries and enjoying that wonderful feeling of the hug a bra gives. Glad to read you took control of your fear and realized no one cared what you were wearing under your clothes because they really don’t know or care. I hope you wear your bra more often and become comfortable with it. Some bras are more stealthy than others.
I under dress with a bra every day and its become normal where I feel it missing on the rare occasions when I can’t wear one. I never even think about what others see or care what they think anymore. I’m sure some might see the outline but no one has ever said anything. I haven’t been called ma’am yet but some women seem to be more chatty than normal and I wonder but its all good. I even wear small forms when its cooler weather.
Conratulations! Experiences like yours are excitin and unforettable. I underdress nearly everywere, leadin to a few adventurous encounters, suc as wen a doctor unexpectedly asks me to disrobe. I paint nails and more. Be wo you are…always more excitin!
I am always more comfortable in a bra. As time passes you will acquire more attire and will find it more difficult to ide. Id advise you find any opportunity to talk to your wife as soon as you can. Better to initiate as opposed to be outed. It will more likely dispel distrust and may enable acceptance… at least led to discussion of boundaries tat could expand over time. onorin boundaries is key… one size does not fit all. Come prepared. I believe it natural… my best bet is at least 10%of all men do it…necessary for you… part of wo you are, always ave been and always will be and no easier to modify tan eye color, cannot be cured, will intensify over time, does not impact sexual preference, wont lead to transition (you would know by now if likely). Uncomfortable to initiate, but usually best for all in many, many ways. Maybe someday your wife can provide wink and smile… maybe even a present of fem attire…far more welcome tan a sales clerk.
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