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Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 timesHey girls
This is the third forum post in a sequence that started back in August with one that I called ‘So … I just told my Mum’. After the follow up, I promised that if anything else happened I’d let everyone know.
Since this is developing into more of a mini-series I’d thought I’d make it all seem more exciting than it actually is by giving it the full IMDB treatment.
I would recommend having some popcorn to hand.
‘SO … I JUST TOLD MY MUM’ (Season 1)
Main cast: Ellie, Mum, Tracey (special guest appearance by Remy the West Highland Terrier)
Ep. 1 (aired August 13th 2023): ‘So … I just told my Mum’
Ellie screws up her courage to tell her Mother that she is a crossdresser while her Mother is on a week-long visit from Kent. It goes well; crucially, however, Ellie only makes a partial confession and doesn’t reveal that she is trans.Ep 2 (aired August 21st 2023): ‘So … I just told my Mum (Part 2): What happened next’
Ellie drives her Mum back to Kent after her week-long stay in Norfolk. Ellie’s sister Tracey lives with her Mother. Late at night, during a violent thunderstorm, Ellie tells Tracey everything. Tracey embraces the news with surprising enthusiasm, and the next morning the pair tell Ellie’s Mother the full truth about her. Ellie finds herself completely accepted, and that afternoon Ellie and Tracey go shopping for clothes together. The visit ends with Ellie driving back to Norfolk en femme and feeling happier than she has done for many years.Ep 3 (aired Monday 25th September): ‘So … I just told my Mum (Part 3); A series of unexpected events.’
Narrator
The weekend just past was my birthday weekend, and I travelled from Norfolk to Kent to spend it with my Mother and my sister, Tracey. Those who have been following my recent exploits will know that I came out to them both in August. I had no intention of it being anything other than a perfectly normal weekend spent with family, but Mum and Tracey turned out to have other ideas about how to help me celebrate.
I left Norfolk straight after work and was in Kent shortly after 7pm. Almost the first thing that Tracey said to me when I got through the door was that she and Mum had bought me a special present. I wasn’t allowed to open it yet and needed to wait until after we’d eaten. It was a bit of a throwaway statement; I didn’t think much more about it.
An hour or so later, when we’d finished our meal and were chatting over coffee, Tracey went and fetched the parcel. From its shape and softness I could tell it contained clothes of some sort. Mum and Tracey both watched intently as I unwrapped it. Inside was a very femme angora shawl.
Tracey blurted out ‘If you don’t like it we can take it back’ but she could already see from my face just how much in love with it I already was … not just the shawl itself but the fact that they had chosen to buy me something so overtly feminine.
A few moments later Tracey was on her feet modelling the shawl for me so I could see how to wear it; then she draped it around me and stepped back to admire the effect.
‘Are you SURE you like it?, she said.
Honestly, I don’t think that I’ve ever loved anything more.
I’d packed some eBay purchases which had turned out to be too small for me. So, after receiving my own present I was able to give something back by passing two of them (a Jaeger cardigan and a white linen Noa Noa dress) on to Tracey.
Exchanging clothes with my sister; another win!
That night, after Mum had gone to bed, Tracey and I stayed up late and talked until the small hours. Crossdressing cropped up a few times – she really is curious about what makes us tick – and we talked a lot about being transgender. But otherwise it was just a normal conversation, flicking back freely over all sorts of topics. It turns out though that she’d quite like to have a holiday, just me and her, with me en femme!
In the morning Mum and Tracey suggested going to Canterbury for the day. I imagined that we would just amble around doing a bit of sightseeing and maybe grab lunch or a coffee somewhere. In fact it turned into a day of hardcore clothes shopping. Tracey wore the cardigan I’d given her the night before. I never in a million years thought that I would ever be standing flicking through a rail of dresses while my Mum and sister commented on what would look good on me. As well as going into several of the big retail chains, Mum insisted that we went into every vintage outlet and charity shop that we could find. I even sampled perfumes in a large department store (turns out I love, but can’t afford, ‘Mitsouko’ by Guerlain).
The absolute highlight of the day for me was when Tracey found me a midi skirt in burgundy suede in a charity shop; I was standing looking dubiously at the size label when Mum unexpectedly said ‘Why don’t you try it on?’. Equally unexpectedly I found myself thinking ‘Yes, why not?’ and a moment later there I was asking one of the two female sales assistants if that would be okay.
‘Of course honey … we don’t judge’, she said and took me to the changing room.
As I stood behind the curtain putting the skirt on I couldn’t quite believe what I was doing; it was a first for me. Sadly the skirt didn’t fit, but at least it was for the right reasons. I’ve been deliberately losing weight recently and although it would once have been my size it was now way too big for me.
As I emerged Mum, Tracey and the two shop girls stopped their conversation and looked enquiringly at me. I shook my head and one of the women said ‘What a shame – it would have really suited you!’
Another moment to treasure.
During the afternoon I bought a beautiful women’s fleece (Mum steered me towards it) and two blouses. Tracey bought a cardigan and I bought Mum a coat as an early Christmas present. I tried the fleece on in the shop, but the blouses were a last minute closing-time purchase in Primark so we had to guess at the correct sizes. Later that evening, back at the house, Mum suggested I try the blouses on to see if they actually fitted. I went upstairs, found that they did, and came back downstairs wearing one of them. It met with approval; I went back upstairs to change back into my t-shirt.
But then I thought … why am I doing this? After all, I’d just been walking around the house in a blouse. Why not just keep it on?
So I teamed it with a knee-length woman’s cardigan that I’d packed and went back downstairs.
Since it was a beautiful sunny September evening we all went and sat in the garden. We were chatting away when Mum’s neighbour came out. I’d forgotten that she was having a clear out and had offered me two dining room chairs to take back to Norfolk. Tracey and I went into her house to have a look at them, and then I carried them to my car. It was only afterwards that I realised what I’d been wearing throughout … but honestly, nobody was remotely bothered. To my surprise I found that, actually, I wasn’t either.
Later I was curled up on the sofa watching Netflix with Mum and Tracey. The lights were off, candles were flickering and Remy the dog was stretched out beside me snoring gently. It suddenly occurred to me that I was dressed pretty much totally en femme. I’m always underdressed in knickers and bra; factor in the blouse and the cardigan and since I was barefoot the only male item that I was wearing was my jeans. It had all just happened completely naturally, without my even thinking about it.
I felt completely, utterly content.
All in all, I think I can reasonably claim that this was one of my more memorable birthdays.
Hugs
Ellie x
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Ellie, that sounds so totally amazing!! I’ve dreamt of that happening!! Hugs!!
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Registered On: August 1, 2020Topics: 12Replies: 1880Has thanked: 6388 timesBeen thanked: 8572 timesHi Ellie and what a lovely story of acceptance which has built from those first words to your mother and now with your sister.
I have said that it was my mother who was told first and her reaction defied what people had said about the older generation not taking this sort of news well. In my experience the older generation have been more accepting than the younger ones as it is the those that I have had negative comments from.
Like you my mother sees me as the son she has always had as it is natural. She was in her early seventies when told and is now 96 but always calls me by my femme name in company. After the revelation we wandered the stores together as she helped me choose clothes to wear in private until the day she agreed to start going out as she was comfortable seeing me as Angela. Then my sisters were told and, as in your experience it led to more adventures and going out more. These were heady times for me and the moments just keep coming as life just moved forward. It seems that you will be treading the path too as new adventures come as sure they will. Could we see part four where three ladies go shopping at Christmas? It seems a certainty.
I am happy that it is going so well for you and never lose that feeling Ellie.
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Thanks so much Angela
I think that you can include me among those people who assumed that the older generation might be less accepting, perhaps because of the way that crossdressers and trans people had always been presented to them by the media. My Mum had made many, many dubious comments over the years about the LGBQT+ community and this had always prevented me from coming out to her. A lot of her attitude was fuelled by negative media representation, sensationalist stories and even the standard Hollywood representation of crossdressers (think Anthony Perkins in ‘Psycho’). Finding out that her own son was a crossdresser (and then that I self-identify as female) was a bit of an eye-opener for her. Actually hearing the truth about us, and realising how normal we all are, came as a revelation. From there it was a very short step to acceptance.
We’re a long way from her being truly comfortable seeing me dressed, but it’s early days. Tracey, however, would be happy to treat me as her Barbie :)
There could well be a Part Four, providing the public haven’t switched off by then.
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 16Replies: 982Has thanked: 3517 timesBeen thanked: 2408 times
I doubt that the public will be switched off any time soon, Ellie.
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
It wouldn’t be the first time my brand of relentless chirpy optimism has sent people over the edge.
One day I’ll be ripped apart by a ravening pack, and all that will be left is a pair of Marks & Spencer’s knickers and a single bloodstained stiletto.
Ellie x
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Dear Ellie, I am so happy for you! Through your story I can almost feel the warmth and love you have shared with your mother and sister. That must have been an even greater and more previous gift than the very nice shawl.
Big hug, Frédérique
P.S.: happy birthday ;-)2 users thanked author for this post.
- Registered On: December 9, 2016Topics: 38Replies: 567Has thanked: 791 timesBeen thanked: 1827 times
I need to go back & read parts 1 & 2. If they make me as emotional as part 3, I’ll be a mess. Thanks for that though, it’s just another verification for me that I am an emotional girl. I am very happy for you Ellie. xx
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- Registered On: September 6, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 294Has thanked: 1049 timesBeen thanked: 1180 times
How wonderful!! Thank you for for sharing this!!
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
You’re vey welcome :)
One of the great pleasures of being part of this community is being able to share our experiences so freely, good or bad. I think it’s a very healthy thing :)
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: November 23, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 858Has thanked: 694 timesBeen thanked: 3776 times
Another wonderful story about a wonderful group of ladies. Thanks for keeping us posted Ellie.
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Thanks Fiona
I got a warm glow when I read this and realised that I was one of the ‘wonderful group of ladies’.
I don’t think I’ll ever take the acceptance that we all get on CDH for granted – it’s wonderful EVERY time it happens :)
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: July 17, 2021Topics: 8Replies: 284Has thanked: 2708 timesBeen thanked: 1089 times
Hi Ellie.
What a wonderful story and a wonderful experience. I guess we are all very happy for you and your mother and sister. Its so amazing all that happened for you and your family, I’m probably not the only person being envious of you. The best birthday I’ve ever heard of.
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hey Clarissa
Coming out to Mum and Tracey has actually brought us closer together, which is something I never dreamed would happen. And yes … it was a very good birthday indeed!
Hugs
Ellie x
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What an amazing and wonderful story!! I am beyond happy for you!
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Oh Ellie, what a wonderful story, I’m sure you can feel how happy we all are for you. Attitudes sure are changing, for us for the better. I came out to a good, long time straight friend 2 weeks ago, and he also was very accepting. Not surprised either, we normally got together with other friends on a Sunday and it seems that sometimes I wasn’t all that careful about removing all my makeup and nail polish from Saturday night. Like you mentioned, even though I didn’t mention it last Sunday, he brought the conversation up, people are curious, they want to know what makes us tick, how we feel. I showed him a picture of me dressed. To me it’s a great sign, instead of simply rejecting us right off at least now they’re attempting to understand. It actually surprised me greatly on Monday when he sent me a text telling me he had a great time, and called me Jenn. It’s been a long, hard road, we all know the fear, shame, hiding, but I feel life is getting better for all of us now, we really don’t need to hide any more. Life is good.
Hugs,
Jennifer9 users thanked author for this post.
- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hey Jennifer
Wow – this is a really great story in its own right. What a wonderful friend to have … and that follow-up text, using your name, must have been the icing on the cake!
I’m very, very happy for you :)
Big hugs
Ellie x
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I love how your mum assisted have accepted you as the woman you truly are ,thank you
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hey Petita
I think it might be hard for my Mum ever to accept me as a woman, or even think of me as her daughter, however wonderful that would be. When you’re in your mid-eighties, and have known someone as male for their entire life, simply having them rock up and declare that they identify as female isn’t necessarily going to shake that view of you. Mum fully accepts my crossdressing, and she’s on board with my gender identity, but I kind of think I’ll always be her son in a dress. Actually though, that’s okay with me; I don’t feel any need to make her uncomfortable by pushing it any further. I’m just so happy that I can now be Ellie around her.
Tracey is in a different category. We’re not there yet in terms of her actually regarding me as her sister rather than her brother, but I have a feeling that we’ll get at least part way there with time :)
It’s difficult for any of us to come out – and I’m well aware that for many of us it might even be impossible – but of course it’s ALSO tremendously difficult, not to mention confusing, for those close to us.
I love Mum and Tracey so much for making the effort!
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: September 29, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 261Has thanked: 1627 timesBeen thanked: 1650 times
Happy birthday, Ellie! It’s such a treat to hear about your coming out and stretching yourself to be more open and accepting of yourself. It’s so rewarding to live an integrated life, and seeing yours come to fruition is just awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your story! You go, girl!
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hi Nikki
Thanks for the birthday wishes.
I hadn’t actually thought about it, but you’re absolutely right … a lot of what has been happening to me recently is as a direct result of me becoming more accepting of myself, and increasingly open to exploring who I am. Having people like you to talk to on here is very much a factor in that.
It’s a really valuable insight!
I’ll go away and consider it more fully :)
Thank you.
Hugs
Ellie x
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Happy Birthday Ellie
Buy yourself some women’s jeans and toss the male ones. Plain blue or black denim no one is going to notice, unless they’re checking out your arse, but you’ll know.
Your Mum and sister sound amazing. Glad they are so supportive.
Im looking forward to episode 4.
Cassie8 users thanked author for this post.
- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hey Cassie
I actually have a couple of pairs of women’s jeans for 50:50 jaunts. For the record I would be happy for anyone to check out my arse at any point.
Mum and Tracey are TRULY amazing, and both continue to surprise. I’m slightly apprehensive about what they might be planning next …
Hugs
Ellie x
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Hey Ellie! Happy Birthday, Girlfriend!!!
It warms my heart to read Episode 3 of your “coming out” mini-series. You already know this, but your family is amazing. Cherish them, dear!
I’m so glad that you felt comfortable dressing en femme in their presence. I’m sure crossing that threshold was easy with the high level of acceptance you’ve received.
Huge b-day hugs!!!
-Natalie
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hey girl
I hope a second series gets commissioned at some point :) I feel that there are still several episodes to go in this one though, so stay tuned. Looking ahead I don’t think that the cast is going to change much, but you never know.
If I’d set out deliberately to dress in from of Mum and Tracey it would have actually felt very UNcomfortable. I’m so glad that it happened the way it did … creeping up on me without me really noticing!
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: April 29, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 832Has thanked: 10928 timesBeen thanked: 3597 times
First Ellie I just love the way you write telling the story wherein as the reader we can be in your place and vividly experience what you so graciously have shared it gives us all feelings of happiness and gratitude for you!
Happy Birthday Ellie.
I am honestly uplifted when I read about your experiences they are so exciting and yet tangible how you share your beautiful experiences. Thank you Ellie.
Eagerly awaiting the next episode or chapter.
Hugs April
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hey April
First of all I wanted to say – right back at ya! Your own posts are unfailingly upbeat and supportive and you’re always one of the first to greet new girls. When you team all of this with your beautiful photos, you’re something of an inspiration to me :)
I love sharing positive stories – you might have picked up that I’m quite bouncy and bubbly in general – and it gives me a warm glow when I get lovely feedback such as yours. I hope that there WILL be an Episode 4, and that it will be interesting enough to stop people switching to another channel.
I also love that the community here is so supportive of everyone through both good times and bad; it makes me happy to know that if ever things start going less well for me there will be lots of girls on here who have my back.
Thanks for the birthday wishes!
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 18Replies: 1247Has thanked: 981 timesBeen thanked: 5268 times
Another belated happy birthday wish. Not only were your mum and sister tremendously accepting, but even planned a special trip for you. And their neighbor didn’t seem to care what you were wearing either.
I’ve also lost a lot of weight (a good thing, but for the wrong reason, due to illness). Fortunately most of my skirts are elastic in the waistband and still fit. The ones that are loose that I still love to wear, I have temporarily taken in on the waist with some safety pins, and will eventually sew them tighter, or possibly open up the waistband and pull the elastic tighter.
I am more often than not wearing women’s jeans that don’t look overtly feminine. Sure, when out, I have to put my wallet in the back pocket since it won’t fit in the front, and my phones have to go in the front pocket in “landscape mode” (one for work, one for personal). If you were wearing such jeans, you would have been totally en femme.
So is this episode subtitled “Canterbury Tales?”
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- Registered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 16Replies: 982Has thanked: 3517 timesBeen thanked: 2408 times
One thing that I have learned to love about femme fashion is how to live without pockets. I often carry more than one gadget with me, too, so I carry a small, leather courier type of bag with lots of zippers and divisions.
That way I can show off my shape better. ;)
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I’m imagining you as some sort of international super-spy, ready to unzip divisions and whip out gadgets whatever the situation.
With a skill set like that, who needs pockets?
Harriette – you’re a dangerous woman.
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 18Replies: 1247Has thanked: 981 timesBeen thanked: 5268 times
In male mode I’m not particularly interested in showing off my shape. I’m already carrying a lot of stuff, (lunch bag, laptop, gym bag, sometimes a bag of sodas) that I don’t want another bag to carry. In femme mode I’m probably not going to be wearing the jeans anyway, I’ll be in a skirt or dress and then I’ll use a handbag.
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I’m intrigued.
Even in boy mode I don’t think I ever go anywhere that requires a whole BAG of sodas.
My imagination is beginning to build a whole host of possible scenarios…
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- Registered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 18Replies: 1247Has thanked: 981 timesBeen thanked: 5268 times
I bring the sodas into work to have as a caffeine drink or with lunch. Rather than bring them in one at a time, I bring a six pack of bottles or a 12 pack of cans in and then I have whenever I need them.
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- Registered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 85Replies: 1380Has thanked: 3203 timesBeen thanked: 6480 times
Happy birthday Ellie. Thanks for sharing. Get easier when you find such acceptance doesn’t it.
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hey Cassie
Thanks for the birthday wishes :)
The acceptance is amazing – I’m basking in it.
I wish I’d come out much, much earlier but there’s never any sense in dwelling on the past. I am where I am, and where I am feels wonderful.
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 16Replies: 982Has thanked: 3517 timesBeen thanked: 2408 times
Your family gave you lots of acceptance, something that many of us can only dream about. It seems so natural the way things developed.
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hey Harriette
I’m super-aware that I’ve been very, very lucky with how everything has been working out for me over the last six weeks or so.
I’ve done nothing in particular to force the pace, and have been happy to let everything happen in its own time. As you say, the way that things have unfolded has all seemed completely natural. That moment of realisation when I was sitting on the sofa pretty much entirely en femme … it kind of happened without me even thinking about it.
If I’d tried to plan it, and indulged in my usual overthinking, I would have got cold feet. I’m so glad that for once I just went with the flow :)
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: January 8, 2020Topics: 9Replies: 806Has thanked: 7572 timesBeen thanked: 3411 times
Ellie –
Thank you for sharing your story. Very excited for you. I think it is wonderful that your Mom and sister are so accepting and supportive.
XOXO
Suzanne6 users thanked author for this post.
- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Thank you so much Suzanne!
I have to say that I’m excited too :)
I only told them both in August. I’m living in a state of constant astonishment that, a little over a month later, we are where we are.
I keep thinking that there must be a hidden catch, and a small demon is going to pop up and demand payment or something.
Hugs
Ellie x
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I love your writing style, and I am very excited for the way things have been shaping up for you! It must still seem a bit surreal…
Tiffany
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Thanks Tiffany
It’s totally surreal – like I’ve entered a parallel universe. I’ve no intention at all of trying to find my way back into the original one.
I keep expecting to hear a booming voiceover telling me that I’m in the Twilight Zone.
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: October 6, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 115Has thanked: 3233 timesBeen thanked: 402 times
Part 3 pleasures for your adoring fans to read, Ms. Davis. Such a talented writer you are! Truly a birthday that you won’t forget anytime soon! Do you celebrate half birthdays? 29 1/2, 45.5and such. I celebrated “Half Days” for my three then-children (and into their early twenties). If you do, then I shall read (and perhaps see) “Ellie En Femme, New Episode! My Half Day”
Connie
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hey Connie
The next time I travel down to Kent will be at Christmas; driving down on Christmas morning, hitting the Boxing Day sales and then coming back to Norfolk the day after. I can’t imagine that anything will top the visit that I’ve just had, but you never know!
I don’t celebrate half birthdays but perhaps I can move to having two full birthdays a year, actual and official, like the Queen.
Come to think of it, ‘Queen Ellie’ has quite a nice ring to it :)
Hugs
Ellie x
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You should celebrate Ellie’s coming out (either to your mum, or to both your sis and your mum) as a birthday of sorts. Problem solved.
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Oh … well now … what a wonderful idea :)
It might not be a birthday, but it’s certainly worth commemorating.
From now on I decree that August 13th is a National Ellieday!
Hugs
Ellie x
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- Registered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Hey Femme
Thanks so much for saying such nice things – it’s much appreciated :).
I love the support that girls on here give, through good times and bad. Such a wonderful place.
My sister has embraced my revelations wholeheartedly, but I thought Mum might be more reserved. I kind of misjudged that one!
Hugs
Ellie x
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