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  • #458108
    Steffy
    Participant
    Registered On: April 6, 2018
    Topics: 4
    Replies: 38
    Has thanked: 8 times
    Been thanked: 141 times

    Hi Ladies,

    Any good advice or life coaching tips accepted and appreciated.  I’ve been slowly trying to introduce my female side and desires to my wife.  A few things that I’ve had “success” in doing are as follows:

    -Wear a female one piece bathing suit to get in the hot tub with her.

    -Paint my toenails (all different colors.)

    -Repurposed a purse as my dopp/shaving kit (I travel a lot)

    -Routinely wear footwear that is feminine by nature (Dansko, Born flip flops, etc.)

    So with all of this, I get mild resistance or feedback in that her main response to all of it is:  “that’s weird” accompanied by off-putting body language.  I’m open for suggestions on how to carry on the conversation and dialogue to turn it to a positive interaction.  I have reason to believe she has found my stash of panties and bras and nightgown etc., although she hasn’t mentioned a thing about it.  So I’m certain that she “knows” or has a suspicion that I like to wear girly things.  Any help on how to get to the next positive step is greatly appreciated.

    Hugs.

    Stef

     

Viewing 8 reply threads
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    • #458683
      Diane Rakers
      Lady
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 645
      Has thanked: 1118 times
      Been thanked: 2106 times

      Steffy,

      It sounds like Susan and I.

      Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell

      Lee Ann

       

       

    • #458679
      Regine Rich
      Princess
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 788
      Has thanked: 7787 times
      Been thanked: 3465 times

      My advice is simply have the talk. I didn’t hide for long, when I began this journey, as I believe in complete honesty. I simply said,” we have to talk,,I don’t want to hide this from you, I have been trying wearing women’s clothing, and this is why, how it makes me feel, etc etc., I love the feeling and I would like to explore it further.”
      To my amazement, she accepted, and embraced it, and now I live as a woman at all times, except when at work, and doing the shopping, which I am still trying to work up the nerve for, lol
      The longer you leave it, the more it will make her wonder what’s going on, and the more things, none of them good, will go through her mind.
      HOWEVER, as others have said, be sensitive to her wants and needs, as well, and find a compromise if necesary, so you can both be happy
      We are all here for you, Steffy
      Hugs, Regi

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #458608
      Honey T
      Baroness
      Registered On: October 19, 2019
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 62
      Has thanked: 37 times
      Been thanked: 297 times

      A wife’s imagination will answer all the questions floating around in her head.  The longer you wait, the more misinformation she will have already processed that you’ll need to undo.  She deserves to know the truth. You deserve to not live in hiding.
      The significant others forum is a great place that she can bounce ideas of “ what is weird” around with those of us with experience.

      Just do it…. talk to her…. love her enough to share yourself

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #458337
      Bettylou Cox
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 2000
      Has thanked: 3882 times
      Been thanked: 7060 times

      Hi Steffy,

      This thing we do is certainly “Different” from expected male behavior, but that doesn’t mean we are weird. It means we have acknowledged the existence of our feminine side, and are expressing it. For those of us who have a SO, it means something else, also: You’re a CD; you can’t quit being a CD, even if you suppress the need to express it. And since the subject has come up (sort of), it is time to have The Talk. Every relationship is built on compromise, so talk about it. What can she accept? What can she tolerate? And what is “off the table”? Anything short of an ultimatum cn be worked out, and if your SO knows you can accept her limitations on your Dressing, she is likely more willing to accept you.

      Hugs,
      Bettylou

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #458304
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 4976
      Has thanked: 8677 times
      Been thanked: 8770 times

      This sounds like it may have come the time in having that talk. Keeping this hidden will only work for so long. Eventually she may discover your secret,  finding your stash, seeing strange attitudes coming from you,  basically any feminine traits that you may never know your doing. Anyway if you suspect she may have out you its certainly time to bring up that conversation. Waiting never works..

      Stephanie 🌷

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #458271
      LisaT
      Lady
      Registered On: January 31, 2021
      Topics: 41
      Replies: 472
      Has thanked: 357 times
      Been thanked: 2103 times

      The only real way to resolve your issue is to come out and be honest with her. Your behaviour is weird except if you are a transvestite or crossdresser in which case it all begins to make sense.

      It’s a huge step and one only you can decide about but once done there is tonnes of literature online that says your behaviour is fairly typical. Of course it opens all sorts of other boxes and questions so it is a high risk option.

      I’m learning a lot about myself since coming out to my wife recently and all sorts of things make more sense. That said I still think my need to wear a bra is weird, it’s just not unusual for a transgender man.

      There are no easy answers but we are all here to share and support.

      Hugs

      Lisa xxx

      • This reply was modified 1 month ago by LisaT.
    • #458263
      Eva Kelly
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 1, 2021
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 204
      Has thanked: 2077 times
      Been thanked: 956 times

      Just a thought… could you suggest to her replacing the words “that’s weird” with “that’s different”?

      And as always, take baby steps, keep the communication open, if she needs to vent just LISTEN and don’t respond in anger.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #458188
      Mary Jane
      Lady
      Registered On: September 30, 2020
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 169
      Has thanked: 318 times
      Been thanked: 894 times

      Your actions are weird if they are not what your wife is used to.

      Perhaps you need to agree with her. Yes darling I understand this is all a bit weird. Let me explain.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #458112
      Rozalyne Richards
      Lady
      Registered On: March 10, 2018
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 532
      Has thanked: 971 times
      Been thanked: 1807 times

      Hi Steffi i can’t give you any advice myself I’m still in the closet to my wife, I’m sure some of the other girls can give you some solid advice about where you go from here x

      Hugs Rozalyne x

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