Some pronoun success

[Dasia ThePhoenix]

Hi everyone!

I’ve been taking a class lately learning radio broadcasting at a local community radio station. I’ve been wanting to learn to be a DJ for SO long. It’s never been my main career goal, just something fun to do as a hobby. I plan to create a radio show, for a 2-hour time slot, with a trans and pan theme. I chose those two for several reasons starting with I identify in those communities, both of them are marginalized and there’s just so much news going on within those communities that I’d like my local area to know. Around here so many cisgender and/or straight people are always saying they’ve never met a trans person and when I mention I’m a pan lady they usually have no idea what that means.

At the radio show class it’s led by two older cis men and a younger cis woman. All of them taught their first class by referring to all of us as “guys”. It’s an incredibly sexist thing to say and I also view it as transphobic as well. I was almost not going to keep attending. I was so upset after that class especially since I stated my pronouns as she/her/hers. I was the only person of nearly ten that did that. It’s hard for me to know when the best time for pronoun declaration is but I try to be respectful. I asked the station manager about it in an email. What’s appropriate? Do you want me to confront these teachers? Does this station try to do gender inclusivity? Well, YES, they do. At the second class, it was announced, without me saying anything, that we will be inclusive of all genders and use only non-binary references to others. Major WIN for me!! I think for all of us as well.

After the class, I spoke with two of the teachers. I felt like I needed to because even after saying that plug about the “new” gender inclusivity rule(it’s actually in the Volunteer Handbook as discrimination) all of the teachers still did it. This class, however, they felt bad every time they did. I thanked them for trying their best since they all seemed to know I was the one who reported it. That was uncomfortable but manageable. I acknowledged how difficult it is to learn especially when one’s point of view is as a cisgender person and they haven’t thought about it before. I told them it was hard for me, too, and that our society still has a long way to go in our efforts to equity with such serious issues as sexism, racism, ableism, and ageism.

I want to tell you all that it’s really hard for me to speak up. In the past four years, I’ve faced serious legal issues before by just complaining about discrimination. I almost didn’t go back to this class on account of being referred to as a “guy” within this group. Trust is earned. I think this experience helped me to trust cisgender people a little more. It feels great to be a member of society. To be seen, heard and respected as a fellow human being is important to all of us. If you’ve been misgendered and ignored or even punished when you’ve complained I want to tell you it may pay off to try again. Don’t give up. Don’t let the status quo rob you of your life goals. There are allies out there. 😉

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