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I was on a 4 hour road trip along a major highway system which is not a fav of mine so I was dressed as comfy as possible. A short kilt, flats, silk blouse and the big girls up top…all good. After driving for a while in dense but decent traffic I noticed a police cruiser in my rear view, it wasn’t in a rush just moving with the pack, I noticed it coming up beside me on the passanger side where it remained for a short distance before dropping back and pulling in behind me. I didn’t think much of it as I’m a pretty safe driver, not a speeder and kinda anal about the use of turn signals, but sure enough a minute or so later the flashing lights came on. I made my way over to the shoulder, put the car in park, found the necessary I.D., and calmly waited.
A female officer got out and came up to the passanger side? window, I reasoned that it was obviously safer from traffic and would provide social distance but it felt odd anyway.
She pleasantly greeted me, accepted my license, assured me that I hadn’t broken any driving laws, and started apologizing. She politely asked what I prefered to be addressed by(pronoun) to which I answered male, female or my name as I’m not hung up on that kind of thing, and she explained(using my name) her reason for the stop. They are trained to notice things that seem out of place or don’t fit right and that when they were pulled along side of me she observed a very male face atop a seemingly female form, which BTW is my norm(who I am). Apparently after settling that in her mind she next wondered if in fact I might be “exposed”. Even from her current pont of view she wasn’t certain so had to ask, I adjusted my blouse to show the lace detail at the hem of my kilt. She was satisfied, commented on how calm and relaxed I had remained, handed back my paperwork and bid me a pleasant day and drive.
The entire experience was very polite and proffessional.
Go out and drive girls, be who you are relax and enjoy. Let them do their job if necessary. If you aren’t breaking the law you’ll be back on your way in no time.
Olivia
Thanks for sharing Olivia.
Well done you for staying so calm and collected.
And it’s great to hear the officer was polite and respectful throughout your interaction.
My only slightly unsettling view on your story is ‘why would she think you were exposed from the waist down?’
Is it a societal preconception that what we do is a kind of fetish, looking for kicks by exposing ourselves in public? I suppose it’s a change from assuming we all want to be a woman, or we are all gay.
I understand Officers are trained to focus on what is out of the ‘ordinary’, and have the right to look and ask in such circumstances, but I hope your interaction perhaps educated the officer not to suspect we are doing something wrong just because of what we wear.
Keep calm and carry on you extra ordinary person.
❤️Bianca
Unless she had active calls about someone exposing themselves, I don’t think she had ANY cause to pull you over. Kudos to you and the way you handled it, but there really is only one way TO handle it. Getting peeved or indignant doesn’t help. Glad to hear that she handled it professionally and courteously, but I still don’t understand it.
The fact of the matter is, they pulled you over, and you have to deal with it. You are the example we need to use if it ever happens to us and I appreciate you sharing your experience!
*kisses* tara 🙂
Wow I’m surprised they stopped you for that but you handled it perfectly girl!💖🌺🎀
Well Done for maintaining your dignity throughout this incident Olivia, perhaps the officers preconceptions of what a “male in female clothing” would be up to were changed by your courteous demeanor and she may think twice before performing another such stop – we can only hope.
Hugs
Diana
You did really well with that. I’m not certain I’d do as well, but now I’ve the example to follow, so thanks for that. I still don’t see why you were pulled over… driving while dressed? Seems as bad a reason to pull over as driving while black, or while female. I guess it’s odd enough from most people’s perspective. Even if I’d kept calm during the event, I’d have come apart after, most likely. Too many people close to me have been treated wrongly by the police, and they scare me now. I can’t help it.
Bridgette
Thanks ladies,
I accept who I am, am fairly comfortable in it, and don’t fluster easily anymore.
I didn’t and don’t have any problem with them checking with things that seem out of the ordinary, they catch as many or more culprits it seems through casual observation and traffic stops than they do through actual investigations.
What she would have seen was bare legs and a top, it is a short kilt!, although WE normally conduct ourselves in a reasonable non-deviant manner, there ARE others in society who do not.
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