• This topic has 16 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks ago by Anonymous.
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  • #427033
    Sa•man•tha
    Founder
    Registered On: January 21, 2018
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    Sometimes, women have issues of their own revolving around gender & sexuality.

    Case in point…my last girlfriend.

    The day we met…within moments I read what I call “the weird vibe”

    You feel peoples vibes when you meet them?  Occasionally, I sense one that I call “the weird vibe”. Dunno how else to describe it.  But whenever I meet someone who has it, I know instantly this is someone I’m gonna get along with really well.

    I also picked up on a certain sense of masculinity, although she was clearly and very much a woman.  These two things combined, were what made her attractive to me initially.

    Whenever I would meet women, I would always seem to pick up on things, that they didnt necessarily wanna come open about…

    Later, much later…like after we were broken up…she finally decided to open up about what I had sensed from the beginning,  and why she had been so uncomfortable…

    She was uncomfortable with the whole thing, because when she was a teenager her dad had tormented her…calling her a dike and telling her that she acted like a man.  Her dad gave her a complex.

    Just something to marinate upon…sometimes, this stuff happens to cis women also.

     

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    • #427682
      patty williams
      Lady
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
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      Hi Sammy,

      It’s sad as parents the only training we get is what we received from our parents.

      Sometimes not so good.

      Her dad seems like maybe he was trying to get her to be more lady like but he sure went about it the wrong way .

      It’s sad how statements can scar us in our youth and some parents don’t realize how much they can hurt with their words.

      Patty

      Poor girl.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #427638
      Genevive Enseignante
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 19, 2020
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      After reading everything in this thread I can relate. It takes only one word to affect a child in their development especially coming from a parent, that one word can destroy or empower that child for the rest of their lives. As a personal example, when I would bring home a test from school that I did very well on the only thing my dad would say is “Why you did not get the bonus question right?”. To this day I occasionally question my intelligence. To the parents out there, please be kind to one another and respect your children’s path.

    • #427580
      Prudence
      Ambassador
      Registered On: January 7, 2020
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      Hi Sam, I have seen it. Friends, boyfriends, Family. It’s something they carry with them.

    • #427287
      Heather Jameson
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 1, 2019
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      Nice dad, some people don’t realize how deep these statements impact you through your whole  life, sexually stereotyping her simply for a few masculine traits especially coming from her father no less. The names I’ve been called over the course of my life, most you just shrugged off but some of them cut you deep. Sorry this one really got to me.

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      • #427579
        Sa•man•tha
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: January 21, 2018
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        You know what they say about karma, Heather… 😏

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        • #427761
          Heather Jameson
          Duchess
          Registered On: April 1, 2019
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          Yes Sam, that karma will get you eventually and in this case it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. Note the hint of sarcasm in my voice. I hope your friend and all her siblings have gone on to live happy lives. Don’t mean to get vindictive but that one really hit close to home.

          Take care, Heather.

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    • #427247
      Deborah Sullivan
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 27, 2020
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      Parents didnt treat me any different than my three other sisters so maybe it was a more discreet enviroment but there was a lot of teasing from school mates about being fem

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    • #427158
      Ginny Virginia
      Lady
      Registered On: December 22, 2020
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      Hi, Sam

      Thank you for the thoughtful and reflective post. It is a complicated world indeed. My college-age daughter says that her generation recognizes up to 43 different types of sexuality and believes that more people are gender fluid than they realize or admit. Society has yet to catch up!

      I am a member of a diversity and inclusion working group at my university, and we have, in addition to race, much of the LGBTQ+ spectrum represented as well. It is quite a diverse and inclusive group. I get much more direct support here, of course, but we are so all in this together.

      Hugs,

      Ginny

      • #427577
        Sa•man•tha
        Managing Ambassador
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        I have a lot of hope for these kids, Ginny.  They strike me as an impressive bunch.

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        • #427613
          Ginny Virginia
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          Registered On: December 22, 2020
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          Yes, truly! Everything from rights to inequality to environment. They aren’t going to sit around and watch things fall apart. Very committed indeed!

          hugs,

          Ginny

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    • #427151
      Kelli Marlowe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 4, 2020
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      I had half forgotten about the Guess Who song”Glamour Boy” until you used the lyric in the title to this piece. Great band, not given enough credit, except the constant play of “American Woman” on oldieds radio. check out one of their lesser known albums,”Rockin” if you can find it
      Sorry to get off topic, just a rock n roll gurl.

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    • #427139
      Anonymous
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      Great post Samantha!

      I remember in high school, I had a crush on a girl that was on the swim team. She was very cute, feminine and pretty, but her shoulders were a tad wider than the average girl, not a lot it was very subtle. I was to shy to ask her out. But I thought that hint of masculinity was very attractive and appealing to me.

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    • #427124
      Cindy Lou
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 18, 2020
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      Totally get that vibe thing Samantha, once in a great while that vibe feels like love at first sight, but that father… oh my lord what a terrible thing to say to a young girl. Girls look up to their Daddies so much and usually carry their lessons both good and unfortunately also bad throughout their lives.

      • #428337
        Anonymous
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        Exactly. Dad’s need to teach their girls how they should be treated by treating them that way. I do agree that they need to be firm and punish them when necessary, but not downright abusive. Annaleigh would’ve hated that if she had been treated that way by our father.

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    • #427044
      Anonymous
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      Wow! I have very small male parts and my dad (he passed away at a very young age, 53) used to make fun of me and my size. Don’t get me wrong, he was a great father and I loved him very much. I just didn’t understand his sense of humor. Years later when I was a teen and I let my hair grow, he would make comments stating that I was going to end up in Denmark, meaning I would get a sex change. I took it as bad humor. I still don’t understand why he would do this. I had a complex for a very long time, until I finally got over it.
      Years later I overheard my mom saying, while talking to my aunt, about the time they dressed me up like a baby girl.
      This brings me to the present. Putting all these bits and pieces together makes me wonder, if at some point when I was born, if they asked my dad and mom if they wanted to raise me as female. Something I’m sure they couldn’t afford. They have both passed away to include my aunt, so I have no one to ask these questions. I am very small down there compared to other men. I have 3 wonderful kids, all grown up now. I know I would never hurt them the way my dad made me feel with his bad sense of humor. That’s it for now. Thank you for letting me vent.

      • #427128
        Cindy Lou
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: November 18, 2020
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        I’m so sorry your father said that to you Kelli he in no way should have done that, that’s a major parental no-no. It’s funny how later in life we CDers start to piece together all the clues that in the end tell us how we should have known all along.

        6 users thanked author for this post.
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