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    Topic
  • #662322
    Clarissa Renoir
    Participant
    Registered On: July 12, 2017
    Topics: 6
    Replies: 63
    Has thanked: 92 times
    Been thanked: 151 times

    Wow, It has been a long time since I’ve post here. This is the first forum that I came out as Clarissa, after divulging that to my wife.

    Why so long? 

    We live in an age with technology that we can be quickly distracting: Reddit, Kik, Instagram, Twitter etc. etc. I’ve failed in knowing how great this community here is. I didn’t take it for granted, just distracted. 

    I’ve come along way but, I feel like I’ve stagnated myself based upon job changes, going from a physically active job to a sedentary one, gaining weight and trying to find a happy medium between all my interests and my femininity. To a certain degree, along with stress from work, I find myself questioning what to do and how to do it all. 

    I haven’t found a happy medium and sometimes feel like I’m between two worlds. For me they are the same and when I get to a “low” point my interests in everything is stagnant, including my femininity.

    The question, how do you get past those feelings of being down, depressed and having a hard time putting your heels on?

Viewing 5 reply threads
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    Replies
    • #662505
      Kim Dahlenbergen
      Lady
      Registered On: November 18, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 157
      Has thanked: 96 times
      Been thanked: 495 times

      Honestly, I felt the same way quite often over the past two+ years. The pandemic definitely interupted the flow of our lives. I found myself living largely in isolation, deliberately avoiding crowds and even small groups, and I definitely gained weight.

      In recent weeks I have been taking concrete steps to get back out, visiting places in girl-mode that I had frequented before Covid. Its taken a while to get my confidence back, but the rediscovered freedom has made my initial nervousness worth hearing.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #662529
        Clarissa Renoir
        Lady
        Registered On: July 12, 2017
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 63
        Has thanked: 92 times
        Been thanked: 151 times

        I gained weight after COVID. That is one of the places that I’m struggling with. I changed positions and the stress is different but the same. So, dragging my rear out of the bed to get on the elliptical has been tough recently.

        I’ve not been out yet. Mostly because when I’ve had the chance my family made last minute plans and being cute takes a long time. 😂

    • #662437
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 1596
      Has thanked: 3119 times
      Been thanked: 5367 times

      I am trying very hard to find that balance myself. One thing I have learned from my ups & downs, is to enjoy the girl time I get.

      Hugs, Liara

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #662528
        Clarissa Renoir
        Lady
        Registered On: July 12, 2017
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 63
        Has thanked: 92 times
        Been thanked: 151 times

        I really enjoy my girl time. My last time felt forced and I wasn’t comfortable. The process was amazing but being out of practice made me feel really off!!

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #662376
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 1402
      Has thanked: 8630 times
      Been thanked: 6845 times

      Hi Clarissa.

      Having recently gone through a stagnation period where my interest was very low in just about everything I was doing, (I was on the verge of purging), I simply stepped back and stopped for a while and waited until that dark mood passed. Luckily I’ve learned over the years that purging never works.

      • #662393
        Clarissa Renoir
        Lady
        Registered On: July 12, 2017
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 63
        Has thanked: 92 times
        Been thanked: 151 times

        I’ve tried to force myself but feel more like a dude in a wig than my femme self. I am kind of laying low at the moment. Thankfully, I’ve never had the desire to purge.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #662400
          Michelle McQueen
          Lady
          Registered On: June 14, 2021
          Topics: 26
          Replies: 1402
          Has thanked: 8630 times
          Been thanked: 6845 times

          If it doesn’t feel right then just relax and put your stuff away until the desire and need comes again. Happy to hear you haven’t purged.

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #662347
      Саманта
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 602
      Replies: 1558
      Has thanked: 9168 times
      Been thanked: 5390 times

      i found wellbutrin helpful…?

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #662392
        Clarissa Renoir
        Lady
        Registered On: July 12, 2017
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 63
        Has thanked: 92 times
        Been thanked: 151 times

        But that means going to the doctor. 😂

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #662417
          Саманта
          Managing Ambassador
          Registered On: January 21, 2018
          Topics: 602
          Replies: 1558
          Has thanked: 9168 times
          Been thanked: 5390 times

          well don’t go to just any doctor, go to a psychiatrist. it’ll be fun. you can go in fem & if you’re lucky they might have a cup full of lollipops at the front desk😀

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #662346
      Prudence
      Ambassador
      Registered On: January 7, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 329
      Has thanked: 1516 times
      Been thanked: 1314 times

      Hi Clarissa!  If the answer to that question presents itself to me, you will be the first to know.   Hugs  Pru

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #662332
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 10, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 855
      Has thanked: 9 times
      Been thanked: 2338 times

      When I was a kid, Willie Mays was one of the top tier players in Major League Baseball. Someone asked him how did he work his way out of a slump, which everyone has from time to time; even the great ones.

      He said that if he was in a batting slump, he concentrated on his fielding. If he was having a fielding slump, he would concentrate on his batting.

      I’ve always thought that this was a very interesting approach because you lighten your focus on where you are struggling, rather than raising it.

      • #662337
        Clarissa Renoir
        Lady
        Registered On: July 12, 2017
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 63
        Has thanked: 92 times
        Been thanked: 151 times

        That is a really cool way to think about it. Also, coming from one of the greatest ball players of all time. Thanks Babe!!!

        • #662338
          DeeAnn Hopings
          Duchess
          Registered On: November 10, 2019
          Topics: 11
          Replies: 855
          Has thanked: 9 times
          Been thanked: 2338 times

          What I’ve found is that there are nuggets of pure insight all around. The trick is to recognize one when it presents itself. That’s the tough part…

          2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #662342
            Clarissa Renoir
            Lady
            Registered On: July 12, 2017
            Topics: 6
            Replies: 63
            Has thanked: 92 times
            Been thanked: 151 times

            I will have to open my eyes a little wider. Sometimes I have myopic view based upon work, life and art. But that quote says I don’t have to always be on all the time. I truly appreciate it.

            1 user thanked author for this post.
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