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I had a stammer growing up. Thanks to some wonderful speech coaches I not only got over it but worked on stage and in radio. When I tell people I had a stammer they don’t believe me. It can be controlled.
Hi Elizabeth,
I didn’t have a stammer, but was a shy, quiet kid that didn’t fight back, an easy mark for the bullies in school. Not being a sports fan like all the other boys didn’t help at all.
Things got a lot better toward the end of those school days when I met the love of my life, and ever since!
Hugs,
Lara
I realized from an early age that I marched to a different drummer (for many different reasons). Though I was encouraged by my parents to embrace my differences as strengths, I did not escape the teasing of my peers from elementary to middle school. It was only after one of those peers chose to assult me in middle school that the worse of it stopped. My peers learned that day that just because I elect not respond physically does not mean that I don’t know how to defend myself.
MacKenzie Alexandra
I had many differences that made me a target for bullies – being vegetarian was top, followed by lack of interest and therefore prowess in sport, keen interest in music, acting and art, being in the church choir (and wearing a “dress” – meaning cassock and surplice), being very tall and thin, being awkward around anyone male because I hated boisterous games, hanging around with groups of girls, then liking heavy metal music – apparently all of these were reasons for others to make your life a total misery.
So, when my games teacher got frustrated with me for not being able to comprehend the offside rule in football and asked me if I wanted to wear a short skirt and frilly knickers and go to play hockey with the girls, I just froze. No way could I add to the pile of things I was bullied for already – but no way could I deny this dream. Internally I was practically screaming “Yes!!!!”.
He never carried out his threat and I am not sure if that was a good thing or not!
I worked with a guy who had a quite intense stammer – however, he had managed to absorb it into his personality, and is one of the nicest and most intelligent people I have ever met.
Love Laura
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Hi Elizabeth.
I can completely sympathize with you. I was a quiet and very shy kid with hardly any self esteem. Many times I wanted to speak out but the words just wouldn’t come so I suffered in silence. I was made fun of many times and considered not very bright. Over time the stammer became easier to deal with but it was in my early thirties until I could force the words out without fear of stammering.
Funny thing happened once when I mistakenly thought I could speak before a small group about my work. I started with my speech and got about two minutes into it then froze like a deer in headlights. All of a sudden my words were choking me. I was so embarrassed and turned beet red then passed right out at the podium and dropped like a sack of potatoes. At least those who were there remembered me… lol… but I never attempted to speak to a group again.
Thank you for your comments Michele.
I love singing, when I sing I don’t stammer. I’ve actually sung at a wedding with 150 guests, Church Choirs, Black and White minstrel troop and solos in Churches.
I also became in men’s organisations where I became Chairman, I’ve also been Treasurer and Secretary a few times. My stammer hasn’t completely left me, but it’s a lot better than it was
When I’m singing especially a Hymn or a piece of music I love, I go into a different mode, it may be in a large congregation but when I’m singing something I really love, I’m completely relaxed. You’d think singing in front of a crowd it would make stammer, but it doesn’t it’s the opposite.
Liz
I stammered/stuttered throughout my childhood. Then one day in my mid/late teens I noticed I wasn’t doing it anymore. Go figure? It does rear it’s ugly head occasionally when I’m extremely nervous.
Be safe. Love and Peace.
Amber
I Had a target on me right through Middle school through to high school, from the classmates to teachers, Life was hell as I grew up, I never knew what it was that was wrong with me, I gravitated towards the girls and found my tribe, I now know after 40 odd years that it was I am not happy in the body that I was given, now I am just starting to find myself at the young age of 50
In grade 3 (1970) I couldn’t say esses well and they came out like thesses. So, words like “sailboat” came out as “thailboat”.
I was sent to a speech therapist twice a week at school. She was an older lady. I remember her always wearing flowery dresses and she smelled baby powdery. She was also slightly rotund and worn low heeled shoes with thick ankle straps. There was no word at that time, but she definitely had “cankles”.
She was one of the kindest ladies I’ve ever met and gave out the best candy. I was sad when our sessions ended, but she still gave me candy from time-to-time putting a smile on my face. (Probably to reassess me – smart gal!).
Sadly, I’m now developing cankles, but only if I keep my slutties on for to long. But, I can say my esses just fine!
👗🍭👠 Barb
Thanks for your response. I always found it hard to say words beginning st.
What are cankles?
You also mentioned about her wearing lovely dresses and low heeled shoes, where you ever tempted to mark on her appearance and say I’d like to dress like that ? I’ve said it a few times (tongue in cheek) to some girls.Liz
Cankles are swollen ankles caused by a fluid buildup, usually as a result of wearing high heels for most of one’s life. It associated mostly with older women and has been memed often. Not a nice word!
And, no, I do not wish to emulate her look. I’m going out fighting all the way to my grave. Sure, youth is waning, but I’m attempting to look as legally slutty as I can without getting arrested. And if I can make a few bucks, then what the hell.
I jest, of course!
👠👠 Barb 😊
Hi Elizabeth,
In the neighborhood I grew up in, it seemed like if you weren’t making fun of someone else it was because you were too busy being made fun of. I was a bit of a late bloomer physically and it really showed in sports. Sports just happened to be what all the boys on the block were interested in. So yes, I got made fun of for not being able to throw well, run well, catch well, pitch well etc. As I got to middle school a lot of my interactions with those my own age and older became much less frequent as many developed interests that took them off the block. I began to hang with the younger kids instead and that was much better. I was much more likely to help them get better at sports by encouraging them as opposed to making fun of them. By that time I started to find my athletic coordination but the older kids in the neighborhood never really got to see it.
I wasn’t blameless though when it came to making fun of people. I do regret that there those that I did make fun of as well. Perhaps it was mostly deflection. As long as there were a few I could make fun of it took the negative attention off of me. Again as the older kids drifted away into other pursuits, my need to make fun of others waned. I was a bit older before I even gave any real consideration to the way I had treated others.
I also have two older brothers. Let us call them A and B. A is the oldest, I am the youngest. B was probably the person in the neighborhood who made fun of everyone the most. He just has a mean streak but thinks he is “all that”. The kind of kid who would catch a football (American) and then run just out of your reach holding the football out for you to try and take it, knowing you just weren’t physically able to, and taunting you all the way down the field until he scored a touchdown. He is just a year older than me chronologically but at the time, more like 5 years older than me physically. I would say both A and B were physically gifted and had natural aptitude towards sports. Luckily A was much more level headed and much kinder when we were growing up. I recently told A that if he ever treated B the way that B treated me, B would have murdered him in his sleep. Boys will be boys after all. That was my parents attitude. A horrible attitude at that.
Hugs
Autumn
I was a small, skinny and very unathletic kid so I got picked on a lot. You know made fun of, called names, beaten up a couple of times, kids are so kind. I was definitely to the effeminate side to so that didn’t help matters. I’m still pretty much the same today, as I say the only reason I was given 2 feet is so I would have something to trip over.
I have a condition called Nystagmus. It is an involuntary wiggle of my eyes. I’ve had it all my life and I’ve always been very self-conscious of it. I was always made fun of for it on top of being very short.
As I have gotten older than dirt, it doesn’t bother me anymore. It’s just like my crossdressing, I’ve been known do be very daring about exposing that too.
As a child I had a very pronounced stammer, a lot of trip letters. I suffered badly but luckily I either grew out of it or learned to control it. Not sure which. I understand entirely how hurtful cruel people can be with anyone with even the slightest affliction.
I never had a speech impediment growing up. I did start wearing glasses in 3rd grade, with all of that kind of “special” attention from the other kids.
My problem when I was younger, for me physically, and my mom emotionally, was, according to a couple of doctors she took me to, was that I had NO natural fear of things, and mostly chose to not be afraid of some things even after I had a bad experience. I would stick my hand in a fire just as easily as a bucket of ice.
The major problems came in school. Bigger kids and bullies didn’t phase me, and I would sass them and speak up for their targets when no one else would. I just couldn’t back things up very well. I wasn’t afraid of them or what they would do, but it did get my butt kicked pretty often, until I learned how to defend myself.
That lack did get me into some very intense episodes as an adult later on, but I did eventually learn to control those urges that could be dangerous at times.
PaulaF
Stuttering? Stammering? I don’t know the precise definition of either…..but here is an interesting story. Meeting SO’s children for the first time. I go to say something and it sounds like a record player needle stuck…..a rec, rec, rec, rec, rec, rec, rec, rec, rec ,rec rec, !%#^$& record needle stuck. Her kids eyes went wide and I thought they looked pissed. They thought I was making fun of their mom who will do it on rare occasion. I said no….had it for a very long time. But…..my issue only happens when I am very overtired (only slept four hours tired). Almost never happens otherwise. Fun fact: it happens with my son when he is overtired.
But since it is rare….no one makes fun of me….but I am also 6’4″
Hi Liz
I never stammered but I did have two other speech impediments. L as an R sound and TH as a D sound. So a sentence would sound like, “Go dere and right the ramp”. Instead of, “Go there and light the lamp”.
I was also effeminate with a girls face as well as too tall for my age. I got bullied badly as a kid to the point where it became life threatening one time. A boy at the beach held my head under the water trying drown me. He didn’t manage to kill me that day but it had caused polluted water to get into my sinus cavity. I had to have surgery and was told I was within hours of death. I was seven when that happened.
I also was dragged by my hair on concrete for a good distance and that is horribly painful and humiliating.
The kids tormenting you are not very smart. If they were they would not judge who you are based on a speech impediment. The opinions of idiots should mean nothing. Please don’t let them make you think poorly of yourself.
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