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  • #587592
    Bridgette VonSmirff
    Participant
    Registered On: October 18, 2020
    Topics: 49
    Replies: 1378
    Has thanked: 19862 times
    Been thanked: 5703 times

    Those of you who know me are aware of some issues I’ve been going through, lots of different stress sources, difficulty dealing with all of it some of the time. I’ve started seeing a counselor, and yes she’s trained and experienced with gender issues. I got a really good solid vibe from our first meeting, and have scheduled weekly sessions through into the new year and beyond.

    She seems really good, and managed to get lots of mileage out of few questions. She also asked if she could meet Bridgette at some point, and of course I said yes. Being trans is one of the big reasons I’m there anyways.

    Leaving after my first session, it felt like we’d covered so much ground, but if course I realize we haven’t even scratched the surface yet. It did feel really good to get started though. It took a long time to get in to see her. There’s just so many people needing help, and few available to be the help. I feel better just knowing I have one more person whom I can talk to, even if only weekly. One more person who knows.

    I actually saw two different people, because it was hard to get in anywhere, and I wanted to see if one or the other was going to be the right one, and after first visits, I think I know which I’ll pick, but my gp advised giving them 2-4 appointments to see how it goes. The other is only doing virtual meetings, and I’m just not sure that really gets the job done, you know?

    Anyways, now that I’ve started, I’m really hoping to find more ways to cope, and deal with at least a couple of the issues that are plaguing me.

    The support I’ve gotten here has been great, and I’m deeply grateful for all the kind words, pm’s, and texts. Thank you all very much.

    Bridgette

Viewing 9 reply threads
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    • #594058
      Rei Durden
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
      Topics: 29
      Replies: 1010
      Has thanked: 5917 times
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      Great news! Hope things are going well.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #590032
      Clara Cross
      Lady
      Registered On: December 7, 2020
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 562
      Has thanked: 1797 times
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      Hi Bridgette, sorry I didn’t see this days ago when you posted it.  That is absolutely great news. Reading about your positive experience was a joy. I am so happy for you.  I see nothing but good things for you and the family.

      You go, girl!

      ❤️Clara

       

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #588009
      Dee Frost
      Lady
      Registered On: September 18, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 38
      Has thanked: 83 times
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      First, thank God you ARE doing counseling.

      OK, so I am a physician. And I have a fair practice with CD and trans patients. AND, I am trans too. As much as I thought initially that I didn’t really need to do counseling, I heeded my own advice and did it too. It truly made me a happier person with who and what I am. I can’t say it really changed anything for me, but it was so energizing to hear, think, process, and feel about these issues. A side benefit is that it made me better at what I do professionally. We are all so vastly different inside and out.

      I fully agree that there is no substitute in this area for eyeball-to-eyeball contact. Maybe I’m too much of a dinosaur, but I cannot see all of the facial expressions and body language with patients over the computer as I do in person. What we do often speaks more than what we say.

      My advice (your mileage may vary) is in person with your counselor.

      Dee

      BTW, I’m a REALLY happy dinosaur!

      • #589489
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1378
        Has thanked: 19862 times
        Been thanked: 5703 times

        Agree, as with the others. I’m going to stay with in person counseling. Today my counselor met Bridgette, and it was great. I felt empowered, strong, confident, and alive. I left feeling good. I still feel good.

        Bridgette

        • #589651
          Dee Frost
          Lady
          Registered On: September 18, 2020
          Topics: 4
          Replies: 38
          Has thanked: 83 times
          Been thanked: 261 times

          I am truly blown away that Bridgette was able to meet the therapist in person. That is a WAY BIG step (in the vernacular).

          Honey, I pray that you will find happiness, peace and serenity in this process. Love every minute of your life, for they are so precious.

          Dee

          4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #588011
        zeezee
        Duchess
        Registered On: November 10, 2020
        Topics: 2
        Replies: 29
        Has thanked: 91 times
        Been thanked: 80 times

        You are right – I feel much more comfortable and get more done when I am face to face with my terrific counselor.

        5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #587870
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 1234
      Has thanked: 7572 times
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      Good luck Bridgette. You’re on the right path. Counseling is hard and takes time. Long ago the wife and I went through counseling and at that time I couldn’t be honest but one thing I learned is that you will know if its a good counselor by your own thoughts after the session. If it makes you think and question yourself then its working.

      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #589938
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1378
        Has thanked: 19862 times
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        We’re planning to have at least a couple of joint sessions with my wife there also. There’s still things we need to sort that could use a bit of professional help, we believe. The therapist thinks it wise also.

        Hugs,

        Bridgette

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #587778
      Marcellette Laval
      Lady
      Registered On: February 1, 2021
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 249
      Has thanked: 711 times
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      Bridget,

      Good on you!  I’m so pleased that you’ve found a good counselor and can totally appreciate how difficult that is to do.  It took me over a month to find one with the specialization I was needing, and who had availability – it is MUCH harder than people think to find a counselor, even after you’ve found the inner personal conviction to go see one – which is another significant hurdle itself.  I’m so glad you’ve achieved both!

      I also understand how important it is to have someone who ‘knows’ this about you.  My counselor is the only person who has ever seen Marcellette face to face in real life, and the only person I’ve ever interacted with when dressed (and it was only one time) – the impact of that on me was profound.

      Again, I’m so happy for you Bridget!!

      Marcellette

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #589487
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1378
        Has thanked: 19862 times
        Been thanked: 5703 times

        It was powerful today, I went as Bridgette, and had such a lovely time. She’s one of very few who has seen both versions of me. Her, my wife, and our nail stylist. My gp and pastor both know, but haven’t seen Bridgette in person, though they have seen pictures.

        Bridgette

        5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #587772
      Regine Kelly
      Lady
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 44
      Replies: 1464
      Has thanked: 20371 times
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      That’s wonderful Bridgette, I so hope you can get the help, and work through things to find peace,

      You now we are all here for you,

      Hugs, Regi💕👸

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #589484
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1378
        Has thanked: 19862 times
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        I’m grateful to all the gurls here, Reg!

        Bridgette

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #587765
      Carolyne Sherman
      Lady
      Registered On: February 20, 2018
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 544
      Has thanked: 529 times
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      Bridgette I just can’t see the ability of the counselor using video conferencing to connect. So many of the verbal and non verbal cues are lost. Much like telling a joke via email/text the context of the comments may be lost or misconstrued and you definitely don’t need that. I wish you the best and hope the outcome is positive and productive.
      🍷C

      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #589483
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1378
        Has thanked: 19862 times
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        Carolyne, Stevie, I agree with both of you. I’ve got such a great vibe from the in person one that today I went as Bridgette and had a really good session.

        Bridgette

        4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #587770
        Stevie Steiner
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: June 11, 2020
        Topics: 77
        Replies: 1826
        Has thanked: 8177 times
        Been thanked: 9389 times

        Carolyne I agree, nothing beats face to face interactions.  So much non verbal communication can be lost.

        Stevie

        6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #587665
      Tara Ryan
      Lady
      Registered On: April 20, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 451
      Has thanked: 1417 times
      Been thanked: 1753 times

      Hi Bridgette,

      This sounds wonderful, I am really pleased for you.  I hope this positivity continues and helps you on your journey in life.

      Love,

      Tara x.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #589474
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1378
        Has thanked: 19862 times
        Been thanked: 5703 times

        It’s been really great so far, but only two sessions in. I saw her again today, dressed as Bridgette. It was wonderful.

        Bridgette

        4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #589614
          Tara Ryan
          Lady
          Registered On: April 20, 2021
          Topics: 4
          Replies: 451
          Has thanked: 1417 times
          Been thanked: 1753 times

          That is fantastic Bridgette, it must have been quite moving for you.

          Love,

          Tara x

          2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #589936
            Bridgette VonSmirff
            Lady
            Registered On: October 18, 2020
            Topics: 49
            Replies: 1378
            Has thanked: 19862 times
            Been thanked: 5703 times

            It was exquisite and empowering, and I felt proud and powerful the rest of the day, in fact I still feel good.

            Hugs,

            Bridgette

            1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #587605
      Sylvia
      Lady
      Registered On: October 10, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 674
      Has thanked: 16793 times
      Been thanked: 2814 times

      Dear Bridgette ,

      I don’t have any experience with a counselor , but I think the
      person that feels right to you will be the one to choose.
      If possible , I would choose a Lady over a man counselor , for obvious reasons.
      Also meeting someone in person for something this important would have my preference.

      I hope you will soon benefit from these meetings , to relieve some of the stress that you are experiencing.

      Love Sylvia

      • This reply was modified 5 months ago by Sylvia.
      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #589469
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1378
        Has thanked: 19862 times
        Been thanked: 5703 times

        I agree on all points. I wouldn’t see a man about this, apart from my pastor. In fact, all but one of my doctors and specialists are women.

        Bridgette

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #587596
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
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      HI Bridgette first of all congrats for starting the Counseling. A step in the right direction. As for the one that wanting to do virtual my opinion would be a No rather see someone in person.  You know myself and rest of girls here are here to give you all the support needed.

      Hugs

      Donna

      • #589463
        Bridgette VonSmirff
        Lady
        Registered On: October 18, 2020
        Topics: 49
        Replies: 1378
        Has thanked: 19862 times
        Been thanked: 5703 times

        I agree about in person being better, and I know I get support here. I could never have come as far si have without you and all the other girls here!

        Bridgette

        3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #589471
          Anonymous
          Topics: 0
          Replies: 0
          Has thanked: 0 times
          Been thanked: 0 times

          thank you Bridgette feel same way too on my journey since being on the site everyone here actually better on support then therapist. And cost is lower. giggles. WIshing the best for you

          Hugs Donna

          3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #589480
      Bridgette VonSmirff
      Lady
      Registered On: October 18, 2020
      Topics: 49
      Replies: 1378
      Has thanked: 19862 times
      Been thanked: 5703 times

      Thanks, Grace. I appreciate it. I think sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger, no preexisting notions, and a trained professional. I made sure to get someone with training and experience with gender issues.

      Today I went back to the in person appointment, this time as Bridgette. It was cathartic, empowering, and wonderful. The receptionist said I looked beautiful (knowing who I was even), and the counselor said I moved well. After, I went and did a spot of shopping for things my wife asked for. It was a truly wonderous day!!

      Bridgette

      3 users thanked author for this post.
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