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Today I decided to take my dog for it’s lunchtime walk dressed inappropriately.
Inappropriately that is for the time of year and weather forecast. Not for me the autumn/winter dog walker’s outfit of walking boots, leggings and anoraks. Oh no. I was going for the 1661 just-popped-out-of-the-office-at-lunchtime- to-walk-the- dog look. I wanted to look my best for this possibly last autumn outing before the gloomy damp English early winter weather sets in.
This consisted of my favourite black and white skater dress. It has a lovely geometric lattice pattern. This was teamed with 40denier opaque hold ups and black 3″ heeled chunky ankle boots. Over this I wore a black showerproof Anne Klein jacket. It is kinda shortish, just covering the bum. I “rescued” it from a clothes bag in the attic about 20 years ago. It’s probably been in and out of fashion since then. Anyway it is very smart – not your typical doggie coat at all. To carry my bits and bobs I accessorised with a small burgundy red leather shoulder bag.
So…. false lashes, eyebrows done, red lippy , hoop earrings, pendant necklace, and my favourite 35cm ash blonde bob wig and I was ready to go.
It is half-term so I expected a few families among the dog walkers. I wasn’t disappointed. The car park was buzzing with all sorts. I unleashed the dog and set off, curious to see if I attracted much interest. No one payed me any attention at all! Except the old boy who sits in his car every lunchtime. He parks in the same spot on the far side. I ignore him. He probably just sees me as a blur.
This is an experiment, you see. I like to push my boundaries. So I set myself the challenge of dressing how I wanted to, appropriate or not.
I passed several groups. No one gave me a second glance. What is the point of glamming up(relatively) if no one appreciates it?
I tried walking parallel to the road about 10 yards in from the verge, with a jaunty swing of the arm and a coquettish smile, enjoying the breeze around my thighs. There are usually plenty of white-van-man vans passing by. No one braked hard or rear-ended the van in front. I was a tad disappointed.
So I headed for the woods to look for squirrels. The weather forecast was for heavy rain showers with hail and gusty winds. A 42% chance. No – it turned out to be a 100% chance.
It pissed down!! I mean really really tipped it down, ice cold rain by the bucket full laced with meteor sized chunks of ice. I squatted down against a tree trying to shelter the dog from being battered to death. It was so heavy it washed most of the mud off my boots! The showerproof jacket coped surprisingly well though.
Eventually it passed over. Out came the sun, and steaming, with leaves tangled in my sodden wig, I set off for the car park, passing close by several wet families who paid me no heed at all. I had a huge smile on my face. I might be a little damp but it had been jolly good fun, and no one had made me.
I guess the experiment was a success. In future I will dress as I please. No one seems to care.
(Note for Amanda: The jacket is a little too short to wear over a babydoll.)
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