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I am just looking for input and opinions about my feelings of still being uneasy when dressed around my wife.She says she is ok with everything and not to worry.Tonight i get out of the shower and dress.I put on my pantyhose,spandex leggings,cute red and white top she bought for me and my heels that she also bought.I walk into the kitchen and she looks and smiles.She says the top looks good on me.I felt at ease and comfortable while talking with her then.It just seems like I get more uneasy the longer I just sit and relax.She tells me to just be me and be comfortable.I sit here with my heels off and my feet on the couch.I sometimes get uncomfortable if I get up and slip my heels on and walk around.Is it just me still having doubts that it is ok with her?Anxiety,questioning my true self?I am just trying to get an understanding of why I feel this way Any of you ladies have any ideas? I am here to learn and get advice.Thank you!
Hi Tammy………I think deep down that your wife scares you somehow. You feel like your in a room with a rattlesnake and you are worried about getting bit. If the snake looks at you, you jump in anxiety. Am I right?? Talk to me….girl….I think you know what is bothering you. You are not alone…..I am always leery of people who smile at me for no reason……….think there is some sort of devious trap about to be sprung and am in a constant state of high alert. I blame the Vietnam War for this. Can never really relax.
Dame Veronica
I think you are right.I can’t quite figure it out,what the feeling or block in my mind is.My mind says I am supposed to be a man,but my true lady wants to be really let out.When I am by myself I feel alot more at ease and alot more feminine.I guess I am still just not comfortable yet knowing that it is ok with her,Hell it can’t be her,it has to be me.She is here now and trying to figure out what wig she wants to get me.Style,length,color.She says short with the salt and pepper look,lol.Lucky girl I am.
I think you’re fine. You are settling into a rather large adjustment not only for yourself, but your wife as well.
Have fun with it! Your wife is helping you develope.
My wife and I do lots of things together we cook, drink wine look at clothes, makeup tutorials for us both. We have a really great time with each other.
You will in time discover that having doubts and feeling uncomfortable is really a small bump in the road.
Youll be great and feel better living a better life than be mindful of regret.
What you are saying does make sense.It is a new chapter being opened in both our lives.It is something differant from ordinary every day life.I guess with that being said,I,we,should proceed ahead and enjoy it.When I do dress it is just like two ladies sitting here just being ourselves.It is just getting used to the idea that everything is ok.It’s just tough for me because I have hidden it from her for so many years.Now my opportunity has come to be real with no worries.
You’ll be fine, I promise.
I think I will be fine also.Maybe I am just still in shock,lol.I sure wasn’t expecting this to be so easy.I guess maybe I am waisting some very good quality Girl time worrying so much.I want to keep advancing even more now,but it is this thing called family,society,and judgement.I see nothing wrong with who we are or what we stand for.We are who we are,kind of sad that some of us still have to hide.
I am also uneasy and unsure of myself. My wife has said she does not want to see me in a dress, but is OK with me sleeping in a nightgown, or wearing a bra, panties, pantyhose and a slip during the day. I usually sleep in a nightgown 3-4 times a week and dress during the day about once every other week. She has never said anything negative,or given me any reason not to wear these things, but I am still uneasy. I would like to dress more often, but I always feel uneasy, and that I would get a negative reaction
Hi Tammy,
It took me some time to work up to feeling comfortable around my wife. Matter of fact, she once asked me why I didn’t dress in front of her and that it was okay to do so. Even after that moment, I would dress and she would compliment me, I still felt unsure. A part of me had a hard time accepting that she was accepting, and once in a great while it does surface but for a brief instant. You have shared with her a part of you that can be very hard to share. so I think its a natural part of being. As for me, the more and more I dress, along with the smiles, advice, and love I get, has helped me feel more confident. – hugs, Michelle
Hi Tammy,
I would say too you are fine, and all of the emotions you are feeling are completely normal. I feel the same way many times, every time I’m around my SO and in my femme garb, which is just jeans and femme loafers. She does not know I have on panties underneath. But I find myself “hiding” behind a chair or other furniture at times, and eventually have to walk past or in front of her, and I get the uneasy feelings. It is not easy. I’d love to have the freedom you do to wear more in front of my SO. That may never happen for me, but you should take a deep breath, and relax and feel good about what you have.
🙂
Thank you.I know it will just take time.I am very happy with the situation,and very lucky.
Tammy Marie
You are so lucky that she already knows of your fetish ways, and from what you say she is accepting of those ways! Relax and find out if there is anything that your wife would prefer that you do! Maybe there’s something that you could wear that would turn her on! Communication is the key here. The more you talk about what turns you on and what turns her on and she talks about what turns her on – well you see what I’m talking about. Communication, communication, talking!
Good LuckSatin
Hi Tammie I’ve put some thought to your post an wonder if you are picking up some negative vibes from your wife. Maybe she is not as accepting as she claims. Maybe if you dialed it down with your choice of clothing around her…..Just my two cents,
All the best. Mikayla
[quote quote=121751]Hi Tammie I’ve put some thought to your post an wonder if you are picking up some negative vibes from your wife. Maybe she is not as accepting as she claims. Maybe if you dialed it down with your choice of clothing around her…..Just my two cents,
All the best. Mikayla
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She has chosen everything for me.Heels,hose,tops,panties,lingerie,leggings,capris all from her.Maybe it is just my shy side.Thank you.My wife told me that even after 15 years of marriage that I still under estimate how much of a freak she is. Probably true. Lol. And that I don’t have to worry about her ever leacing me over this. She tells me that she finally got me to “untuck” my shirt.
She has helped me start this new adventure and I couldn’t have done it without her. And I tell every chance I get thank you and that I love her.
I think you are reading to much into it and have nothing to worry about. If she really didn’t accept your life choice; she wouldn’t be helping you pick out clothes, wigs, etc.
Also, every husband should be slightly scared of the wife.
OMG. I felt this way for the longest time with my fiancé. Honestly, I just broke down crying on her shoulder apologizing profusely for not being the macho man she fell in love with. When we started dating, I was about 40 lbs heavier, had the typical buff construction worker physique and was OVERLY masculine. Come to realize that was all a defense mechanism. If your wife truely loves you for you and he’ll even bought you those things, trust me, she’s comfortable with it. My fiancé couldn’t have told me enough that she doesn’t care and just loves who I am inside.
[quote quote=122819]OMG. I felt this way for the longest time with my fiancé. Honestly, I just broke down crying on her shoulder apologizing profusely for not being the macho man she fell in love with. When we started dating, I was about 40 lbs heavier, had the typical buff construction worker physique and was OVERLY masculine. Come to realize that was all a defense mechanism. If your wife truely loves you for you and he’ll even bought you those things, trust me, she’s comfortable with it. My fiancé couldn’t have told me enough that she doesn’t care and just loves who I am inside.
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She told me she loves me for who I am no matter what.She said she would never hurt me for anything.It is our little secret she says.I guess I just need to quite worrying about it and start living my girl life when I can,which I want to do all the time.I am in love with my fem side so much.Thank you hon.Tammy.[quote quote=122819]OMG. I felt this way for the longest time with my fiancé. Honestly, I just broke down crying on her shoulder apologizing profusely for not being the macho man she fell in love with. When we started dating, I was about 40 lbs heavier, had the typical buff construction worker physique and was OVERLY masculine. Come to realize that was all a defense mechanism. If your wife truely loves you for you and he’ll even bought you those things, trust me, she’s comfortable with it. My fiancé couldn’t have told me enough that she doesn’t care and just loves who I am inside.
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I did the same thing the night we had our first talk.I sat there looking down at first trying to hide my face with tears in my eyes.Those first words of telling her that I loved wearing womens clothes.Telling her that there was a woman trapped in me that was wanting out.I told her I couldn’t help my feelings and I was tired of hiding.She put her hands on my cheeks,wiped my tears away and said you will always be the love of my life.I accept you for who you are.I guess I should just be me and be as happy as I can
[quote quote=122819]OMG. I felt this way for the longest time with my fiancé. Honestly, I just broke down crying on her shoulder apologizing profusely for not being the macho man she fell in love with. When we started dating, I was about 40 lbs heavier, had the typical buff construction worker physique and was OVERLY masculine. Come to realize that was all a defense mechanism. If your wife truely loves you for you and he’ll even bought you those things, trust me, she’s comfortable with it. My fiancé couldn’t have told me enough that she doesn’t care and just loves who I am inside.[/quote]
She told me she loves me for who I am no matter what.She said she would never hurt me for anything.It is our little secret she says.I guess I just need to quite worrying about it and start living my girl life when I can,which I want to do all the time.I am in love with my fem side so much.Thank you hon.Tammy.That’s not going to be your last breakdown sweetie, I mean, it might. I told my fiancé 6 months ago about this. I have a lot of other mental”issues” and everything compounded last night into one big crying fit. I think what sparked that is we went out with my best friend for my birthday. I wanted to share everything with him but it’s almost harder to do that. Ive known him for 20 years. How do you tell someone who’s been like a brother after 20 years that you feel more feminine than masculine? I mean. He’s got to notice right? I had my legs crossed at dinner,sat more proper, ate more lady like, hell, my perfectly shaved legs were exposed from how I was sitting. He gave me a couple weird looks but nothing that screamed “I know your secret” idk. I was afraid to hurt my fiancé when I told her it was almost harder to tell him than her. That just made me totally lose it. Your wife like mine sounds lovely and so supportive. You got yourself one of the good ones darling 💕
Your not alone. I just told my wife last week I want to dress. At first she was totally ok with it, then she was flooded with doubt about us, why I want to do it, do I like men, and she said the same as your wife, she wants me to do it and be happy, but she also doesnt want to lose the man she fell in love with. We’ve had several talks, sometimes 3 or 4 times a day, she went out and bought me a bunch of cloths on a couple separate occasions. She told me I can paint my toes, but not my fingers, and trimmed ALL of my body hair when giving me a haircut before my shower, and said I can shave everything except my face, and i told her i am more than happy to compromise and set boundaries, but still havent “dressed” because i feel a great deal of guilt and anxeity about it. I feel like I’ve burdened her with a huge issue, and feel it’s not fair to her. She is super supportive and encouraging me to dress, i NEVER have, not even behind her back, but she acts like she really wants me to. Maybe today will be the day…if i can get over my nerves
I think many of us never feel comfortable. There is always that bit of guilty pleasure lurking. What we are doing is taboo. But I think that’s what makes it exciting. Then when and if you ever decide to go out, it can get scary, but that thrill and rush you get is like noting else you can get from anything else.
Enjoy the dressing and support and encouragement you get from your wife.
I am thinking of the next step,makeup.I need advice from everyone here as well as my wife.I just cant have any traces of it at work.Wipes,remover or what.I want to see what I have to work with,lol.We should maybe take the topic of makeup to the other forum.You ladies here are making changes for the better in me.LOVE IT!
Hi Tammy.
One of the things I have discussed with my wife is that I really don’t expect her to understand why I do what I do just like that. It took me many, many years to be able to come to terms with it myself. And even after that like most I have had times when I wish it would go away… So, being in disbelief of her being able to accept you fully is very natural I’d say… Also, I don’t know about you but being able to let go our own image of being the husband, the protector, the strong one… is hard! Even for those of us without an accepting spouse, there are details which are ingrained in our brains… which is hard to overcome.
See if this example helps me to explain what I mean… You are out wearing a cute sundress and you are enjoying yourself and feeling like you are being accepted as a woman by everybody. Strolling with your dear wife or SO… Then, you get to the front of the store you both are wanting to go shopping at… I bet you that your first reaction may be to go ahead and get the door open for her… Right?? Wrong!!! *LOL* I mean, nothing wrong in a woman opening the door for her friend, but when you are out as a woman, even if it is with another woman, you don’t jump to open the doors… the first getting to the door takes care of that, that’s it. (Made sense or am I only rambling? – Wouldn’t be the first time!)
Gaby
It makes perfect sense.I guess part of the reason is the fact that I have hidden all my life.I was expecting alot of rejection and was I ever wrong.The one person in my life I should have had total trust in and I doubted her.I am adjusting to things after talking with everyone here.I am being myself and starting to relax more and knowing things are ok here.I am ready to start becoming one of the ladies.
I am starting to think the same.[quote quote=121716]Darling, I think you may be building this up in your head.
Has your wife had any history of passive aggressive behavior?
Example: (She’s clearly upset, you ask “what’s wrong” & she says “Oh, nothing”)
If not, enjoy what you have, & put your mind at ease!
Remember, SHE BOUGHT YOU THOSE THINGS! (Not yelling, just emphasizing).
Relax baby, I think you’re reading too much into it.
Hugs, Bobbi[/quote]
You are right I think.It is long hot shower time,shave time and dress up time right now.It has been a long day and I want to put on my relaxing clothes RIGHT NOW!
Hugs, Bobbi- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.
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