- April 13, 2021 at 2:22 am #477096Andi DuBoisParticipantRegistered On: January 7, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 92Has thanked: 114 timesBeen thanked: 402 times
My SO, who doesn’t know about my dressing, received a dress by mail order yesterday from her favourite brand. When she tried it on, she wasn’t convinced it looked right and was dithering about whether to keep it.
I suggested to her to remove the fabric belt which was made of the same material as the dress and to replace it with a much simpler regular black belt. SO thinks it looks amazing and now loves the dress.
Fast forward to yesterday evening and we sit down after dinner. The conversation starts with the most ominous 6 words ever put together “I need to ask you something”. There were in fact two questions that got asked…
The first was “what do you know about women’s clothes that you haven’t told me?” followed quickly by the second which was “are you weird?”.
There may be many reasons that the answer to the second question is “yes” but I don’t think the dressing is one of them. Given that the second question was asked, I’m not sure that the answer to the first would be well received.
Maybe one day…
- This topic was modified 4 weeks ago by Andi DuBois.
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- April 14, 2021 at 5:02 am #477476Natalie JonesLadyRegistered On: September 20, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 21Has thanked: 23 timesBeen thanked: 107 times
There is no guarantee that it was a lost opportunity. It could’ve been a bad situation avoided. But my experience is that it will all come out eventually on purpose or by accident. If your honestly sure your wife or SO would not tolerate it then caution should be used.
when my ex wife and I were dating a friend of mine who played in a rock band confessed to me that his girlfriend, later wife enjoyed it when he wore her panties underneath while on stage. I was so envious. To gauge my wife’s feelings ( which I was already pretty sure of) I told her him. The look on her face alone told me the answer and she didn’t use the word weird she used sick.
One day about Eight years in she found two pairs of panties in the back pocket of my work pants. She confronted me and accused me of cheating . I decided it was time to confess. Turns out she would’ve accepted cheating more than crossdressing. That was the start of a difficult 25 years that eventually led to divorce.
some here are super lucky to have accepting SO’s and it may be easy to say confess but it’s not always that easy. Good luck
- April 14, 2021 at 6:16 am #477498JillianWLadyRegistered On: October 13, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 140Has thanked: 281 timesBeen thanked: 526 times
Wow Natalie, it took 25 years from finding the panties to the divorce. That must have been horrible for you.
- April 14, 2021 at 9:52 am #477587Natalie JonesLadyRegistered On: September 20, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 21Has thanked: 23 timesBeen thanked: 107 times
yes there were some difficult times . But we were busy rising 3 kids and running a business. We had an unspoken don’t ask don’t tell policy. It wasn’t until the kids got older that our relationship became even more difficult. There were other reasons for the divorce but crossdressing was the main one . She outed me to friends and family . I thought that would be the most difficult thing ever. Turns out even with that leaving her was a blessing
- April 13, 2021 at 4:23 pm #477345LadyRegistered On: October 13, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 140Has thanked: 281 timesBeen thanked: 526 times
The answer I used in a similar situation was “everything I know about fashion, I learned from you”.
Seems to me that you missed an opportunity.
I understand that the question caught you unprepared and you weren’t ready for “The Talk”. So you live to talk another day.
Good Luck, it will all work out.
- April 13, 2021 at 3:41 pm #477333Elizabeth JenkinsLadyRegistered On: March 28, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 36Has thanked: 85 timesBeen thanked: 168 times
For me having my wife know I enjoyed wearing women’s clothes and seeing me wear brassieres and panties was easy. I already knew she was okay with that but having ‘the talk’ and saying the actual words, ‘I’m a cross-dresser’. That was the most difficult and embarrassing conversation I ever had but it worked out great.
- April 13, 2021 at 1:26 pm #477288Sarah Du HessisseLadyRegistered On: September 16, 2020Topics: 21Replies: 497Has thanked: 3109 timesBeen thanked: 1846 times
- April 13, 2021 at 8:35 am #477212Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 65Replies: 1348Has thanked: 4816 timesBeen thanked: 7379 times
It seems to me that maybe she knows more than she is letting on…..
Just because you made a valid observation about a fashion style. Lots of men admire women’s outfits, and can surely form and offer an opinion on how they could look nicer… that’s something you should have been complimented on, not accused of.
To ask you if you were weird because of it….
even if you were wearing panties and a bra under your clothes, facing her and totally denying you were weird, that’s also fine……….because crossdressing isn’t weird….full stop.
- April 13, 2021 at 4:25 am #477124LisaTLadyRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 48Replies: 536Has thanked: 414 timesBeen thanked: 2487 times
I think you are possibly busted Andi and if not your position is now much more difficult having not come clean. It is always a problem when coming out that it has been a secret and difficult to justify in retrospect even to ones self. She certainly didn’t help with the weird comment and I’m sure the time didn’t feel right. However unless you think this may be a phase that you will put behind you at some stage it’s a conversation that will need to be had at some time. In the meantime I’m sure you now feel a need to be careful in what you say and do which cannot be nice for you. I do hope it settles well for you.
- April 13, 2021 at 5:36 am #477151Andi DuBoisLadyRegistered On: January 7, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 92Has thanked: 114 timesBeen thanked: 402 times
Dressing is something that I have been doing on and off for 20+ years.
As with many people, there have been complete purges where everything has been gotten rid of and I have imposed a 24×7 male mode. It never lasts and eventually dressing starts again.
At the point we met I was in one of those self-imposed exiles and so there wasn’t anything to discuss at that time (at least that is what my 15 year ago brain thought). With today’s more wisened head there are many things I would do differently!
- April 13, 2021 at 3:48 am #477119Diane RakersLadyRegistered On: August 18, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 676Has thanked: 1189 timesBeen thanked: 2194 times
- April 13, 2021 at 3:40 am #477118Olivia LivinLadyRegistered On: October 22, 2018Topics: 47Replies: 1620Has thanked: 8016 timesBeen thanked: 4300 times
Possibly a missed opportunity.
The answer to question 2 could have been, well I’m sure some people might think so, but….
She does seem perceptive, so the conversation is likely to happen. Sooner or later
- April 13, 2021 at 3:14 am #477115Stevie SteinerAmbassadorRegistered On: June 11, 2020Topics: 49Replies: 1158Has thanked: 5371 timesBeen thanked: 5976 times
Hi Andi. It sure is hard keeping those fashion comments to ones self, isn’t it? Especially when you are right! Hmm, your SO seems somewhat perceptive, I just wish she hadn’t added that second question so fast. I would have answered the second question first with a simple no. ( what’s so weird about having a good fashion eye and knowing what looks good? ) And not answered the first question – at this time. It would be nice to find out her thoughts regarding the whole LGBTetc. community; information is always a good thing. However Andi, the topic has now been broached, it does sound like this conversation may well come up again, and if she is suspicious it would be best to address it sooner rather than later. Just my 2 cents hon. 🙂
- April 14, 2021 at 5:57 am #477493GenevïéveLadyRegistered On: July 28, 2020Topics: 30Replies: 1197Has thanked: 10198 timesBeen thanked: 4912 times
“Just my 2 cents hon.”
5 cents now Stevie… 😉👍
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- April 14, 2021 at 6:35 am #477511Stevie SteinerAmbassadorRegistered On: June 11, 2020Topics: 49Replies: 1158Has thanked: 5371 timesBeen thanked: 5976 times
Oh, I still have lots of rolls of pennies – they make good paperweights! ( and technically a store still has to accept them lol ).
1 user thanked author for this post.
- April 13, 2021 at 3:03 am #477112Rozalyne RichardsLadyRegistered On: March 10, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 572Has thanked: 1004 timesBeen thanked: 1933 times
Hi Andi the answer to the second question is no I’m not weird, we don’t do weird on here, the answer to the first question is this I’ve been watching Gok on the TV and been picking up some tips,
As for the ultimate question is it time for that talk well only time will tell x
I’ve still not had the nerve to have that talk with my wife whether i will be able to is another thing altogether x
Hugs Rozalyne x
- April 13, 2021 at 2:50 am #477106PrincessByDawnDuchessRegistered On: April 4, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 34Has thanked: 68 timesBeen thanked: 76 times
This is scary as well as hilarious (in a good way).
I will qualify that I am no expert, nor have i been in such a situation, yet. But I do not feel it is a missed opportunity. I am sure that you, like most of us, will put ourselves in numerous more situations which need daft handling.
But there will be a time and opportunity, where the moment of clarity will present itself, and the decision to open-up will no longer be thought, it will just happen instinctively.
These are just my thoughts & feelings. Experienced folks can throw some real light, if they wish to.
- April 13, 2021 at 2:40 am #477100Trisha Lilly HibbertBaronessRegistered On: December 8, 2020Topics: 35Replies: 658Has thanked: 3110 timesBeen thanked: 2439 times
I don’t know how you answered the first question but I think you definitely dropped a clue. A good one I think as you are showing an advantage to having a cross dressing partner. From what you have said I don’t think it would have been a good time for “The Conversation”.
Ps she seems very perceptive so I’d be careful what you say in the future.
- This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by Trisha Lilly Hibbert.
- April 13, 2021 at 2:51 am #477107LadyRegistered On: January 7, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 92Has thanked: 114 timesBeen thanked: 402 times
The second question came so quickly after the first one that I didn’t really need to answer it but I would probably just have gone with something like “just a hunch” or “I’m channelling my inner Gok”.
The second question was answered the same way that it always is when someone asks which is “probably”.
- April 13, 2021 at 3:01 am #477111Bianca EverdeneLadyRegistered On: April 11, 2017Topics: 24Replies: 777Has thanked: 3105 timesBeen thanked: 3118 times
Think I would have calmly asked her ‘what do you mean weird?’ Not getting into a conversation or argument, just to draw out her thoughts as she was obviously mulling it over. But weird is a word seldom used to mean in a good way so tread carefully.
As Trisha says she seems very perceptive.
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