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Since accepting my feminine side I have been exploring what it is all about, I have been spending a lot of time pondering what drives this urge to crossdress and reading many posts on here to try and understand the perspective of others.
Initially I felt that I had to work toward some sort of defined image of femininity in order to feel right. I needed to perfect a walk, body language, voice and of course dress sense. However, recently I have begun to move away from this idea and instead try to listen to my feelings, follow my instincts rather than some pre-defined image. By dressing in feminine clothes I am breaking gender binary that society imposes upon us. I don’t want to go to the trouble to break that only to try to fit into another pigeon hole.
My goal now is to find my authentic self by following my instinct. I buy clothes that appeal to me, I walk as I feel comfortable, in heels, or not. I don’t focus on voice or mannerisms, I just let my self come out. I don’t strive to be a woman, I just strive to be me. All that said, the end result may be the same, but it has been said life is about the journey, not the destination.I’d be interested to see if I am alone in this way of thinking or it if is common.
Hi Delora. I am tired of chasing that image. I am hust going with the flow. Its alot more fun and relaxing. I am not fighting her anymore. I am not sute where she will take me but i like everthing so far. Maybe i beginning to like myself after so many years of denial. I have not been very nice to Stephanie it her time now. Luv Stephanie
I’m embracing Bethany as who I really am. I’ve come to realize I’m in the wrong body and hopefully can transition at some point. Since finally accepting that’s who I really am I’ve come to be a lot happier and want to do things to make her more the vision of what I think she should look like. The plague not helping at all though.
Hi DeLora
May sound a bit shallow but if I think I look good I feel good. I understand how women may feel pressurised to do this everyday. But for me foundation covers imperfections, eyeliner/mascara gives the eyes a bit of a bang, some lippy livens up the lips, and to wear a wig and have hair again❤️❤️Women do it why can’t we? Love the feeling of silk/satin/lace/Lycra against smooth hairless skin. Love so many different styles, fabrics, colours, fits, lengths of sleeves, pants etc, not to mention the option of skirts, dresses, pantsuits, etc, embellishments in womenswear, scarves, belts, purses, jewellery, to choose from. Skincare products are light years ahead of men’s, don’t even start me on shoes🤣🤣🤣
Shallow, yes, but feels soooo good to indulge, a feel good addiction perhaps, but there are worse addictions to have!!!
ps I also love being a man, and hate the fact that society in general still has such big hang ups about CD.
❤️B
I was tough at an early age that vanity was wrong, but in recent years I have come to question this. I don’t think there is anything shallow or wrong with caring about your appearance. I have come to appreciate it as an art form. From creating an outfit that looks good on you, to learning to do makeup that emphasizes your best features it is all art. I have work as a landscape gardener and a large part of that is esthetics, choosing plants and layouts to create a specific look. People don’t call you shallow for having a perfectly laid out garden, why should care for you own appearance be any different?
now to convince my wife that experimenting with makeup is just like doing the garden!!
I know I’m never going to pass as they say, maybe back in my teens and twenties but at 56 forget it. I just try to look like I would if I was a woman, soft, pretty, feminine with a touch of sexy thrown in. I love to show off my legs and bum, my man catchers.
Like everything else inside my head atm I am utterly conflicted here………
In an ideal world it would be whatever feels good, to be able to mix up girl style and sass with boy practicalities, but as we all know, it’s not an ideal world, and many other people feel uncomfortable or worse at the sight of a boy in a dress/in makeup etc. But then I’m also so drawn to the ‘perceived western femme ideal’, smooth skin, curves (not to much tho…) long hair… it’s easy to understand the pressures that GGs are under everyday to conform.
🤔Sx
Stay safe, stay cute 👗💚
If the choice was ALL mine I would live 100% as a women , I am single and live alone unlike many others here , But I do have close family that I do not want to COME OUT to , I know , Its unfair to me not to live the life I want and deserve, But do not want to hurt anyone else , I am simply not a man , At least not a strong one , physically or mentally , I have nothing a sis women would want or need , I just don’t have it , Its not there , Never has been , Oh , I’ve been married to women , Four failed marriages , One lasted nearly 18 years , She just didn’t like sex that much , Which was good for me I guess , That’s why it lasted , Although I did get the put downs from her at times but she still loved and respected me and I might add was faithful at least till the very end of the marriage , She passed in 06 She was a very beautiful lady as was most all the ladies I was married to and dated through life , Don’t know how I got the Foxy ones but that what I went for and succeeded , I’m not all that good looking or endowed by a long shot , lol , I also had many GF’s in my single years , But it was all just a lie , I was lying to myself , That was not who I was and wished I had been aware of the real me all those years , I would be much happier now being myself , So yes going to just take it one day at a time doing what feels right , Can’t wait until this catastrophe gets over with , I will strive to live somewhat the way I was meant from the beginning of my time here on earth , Already getting my Levi short shorts ready for Pride this summer , wink wink ! And going to attend PAGE meetings here in Colorado ! I would love to meet some likewise friends and more . Stay safe out there Peeps !,
I feel I’m in a pretty good place now, going with the flow and following my instincts towards dressing and presentation. After spending the necessary time to first of all be comfortable with who I am and then getting most people with whom I spend time to accept and often appreciate the total person rather than just the presented gender.
I enjoy the many levels of femme presentation and am still working on being a bit better at some of them as there are times, places, and groups that bring up different feelings. A little provaocative sometimes at home and with certain friends, casual when just out and about, male or mixed when working, and a little dressier with hair and makeup when meeting up with other lovely dressed CD friends. The attitude and inhibition level just seem to naturally follow suit.
Hi girls,
I’m enjoying the flow between my male and female side, not trying too hard, liking what I like and appreciating my girl when I’m en femme. I’m not transitioning. I’m male, and still drive like one, but have ‘feminine’ interests and desires. I don’t know if those are ‘cliche’ or not, but I don’t really care. If I want to twirl my skirt or act girlie, I will; when I feel sexy and slutty while showing off my legs and wearing heavenly peep toed mesh platform wedges, I roll with it. I like sending kisses to my CD friends and not feeling like I’m crossing some harassment line. I enjoy imagining what it would be like to date a man while en femme. I took a ‘how feminine are you’ quiz a while ago and scored an 86% feminine. Coming to the CD world has connected the energy between the me of the last 54 years and some lost girl part of my soul, and sweeties, the energy is flowin’! DeLora, I love what you said about breaking gender binary roles. I want to feel both, fully and unhindered. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am now. Looking forward to sharing it with everyone. Friend me, beautifuls, let’s talk!
TjHi Delora You are right it is sad. It is sad because i just did not take time to understand It was just easier to deny and shame myself. I just did what others have done here. Collect, feel good , feel everthing is right, then deny and purge over and over again for a life time. You all know the story. So I do not want to feel sad anymore. Stephanie is in charge I trust she will do the right thing at the right time.
Stephanie
B
Hello Delora,
I am Paula. That is who I have come to realize I was born to be. It has taken some years to be and remain her and keep ‘the grump’ under control. I did live with a man in my 30’s who tried to convert me back to male while we were together, but I just could not live that way. Like a lot of the Ladies here, I found myself dressing femme when he wasn’t around until I thought I would explode one day when he found me dressed and went off on me for being a fraud. Needless to say, Paula walked that day, and hasn’t looked back.
I am how I am and who I am and cannot and will not ever change. I may not go through full transition, but that is okay, as I have come to realize that I love the person I am and my life is pretty much a happy one.
PaulaF
I’m in pursuit of an idealized feminine image, but she is mine. I’ve been seeing reflections of myself in every ideal I’ve encountered – Jackie Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Grace Slick, Dietrich, Gene Tierney, Ursula Andress, Sophia Loren. Women with undeniable class and sophistication as well as wisdom – some educated and others “street smart”. My first impulse was arousal, but I began to realize my attraction was much deeper and complex. A desire to share and celebrate those things that made each woman feminine. It sounds contradictory and it’s a real challenge for a pubescent boy to make sense of. Almost 50 years later I’m still working my way through it. But I feel lucky to be experiencing it. And to be sharing in the experiences of all of you, sisters! Xo
While I don’t live to someone’s feminine ideal, and pretty much do my own thing, when I go out I will still make sure to have at minimum enough makeup to cover my facial hairs (under the skin). I also make sure to do enough when I walk to project a feminine image, and not have the body language of a man while dressed as a woman.
I’m following my instincts and enjoying myself. The more I think about it the more I realize I’ve always wanted to break free of the gender binary. I grew my hair long in my youth and never looked back. It was just something rockers did back in the day. Looking back on it I never got upset when I was misgendered and it happened more than once. Also when shopping for clothing I always found male fashion to be boring and wanted to break the rules and try out female clothing. Now that I’m accepting Samantha as a part of me I’m much happier shopping for clothing. I enjoying shopping for a new outfit. I love women’s shoes and hope to start learning more about wearing makeup. But something else I’ve noticed, I’m now starting to pay more attention to my male style as well. Truth be told I feel that accepting Samantha is one of the better things I’ve done. It’s made Sam a better person in general.
I chose the the top two. I must confess that I am drawn to the ideal of femininity, nice breasts, tight waist, wide hips and bum. To that end I’ve bought foundation garments which help to give me that, though I find I’m getting fussier about my looks. Yes, I’m sorry to say that I’m somewhat vain.
However, I do buy what I like, and what I feel will look good on me. So I follow my instinct, as well as being something of a slave to that feminine perfection, which I will never achieve! Of course I’m not female, and I’m now mid 60’s, pushing into my late 60’s. So I will never achieve those beautiful female proportions no matter what.
Doesn’t stop me from doing my best though!
For some reason inside myself it is important to me to look the part, to the best of my ability, and actually admire those who simply dress, without worrying about all the extras which I find myself doing.
Amy
I do what feels natural. I don’t try to force anything or to be unnatural. I am who I am. I don’t try to conform to anyone’s idea of who I should be. Expressing my feminine side is about comfort and relaxation, not about effort and judgement. So what if I’m not the most ‘passable ‘ girl in the world? I’m cute, other girls like me! I don’t need to strive for anything!
my guidance is my inner instinct when dressing up as I also have to be in the right mood while striving to be a woman with the look and behaviour as good as possible! For me it is also a question of beeing mentally prepeared to change from male mode to female. It is a long way to go to learn what a real woman has achieved over years although I try to match this in good makeup and behaviour in my own way. Enjoying both male and female life, but must admit when nicely dressed preferably in a tight pencil skirt showing off my female shape, stockings, comfortable shoes and with a blouse going out to a restaurant I really feel and behave like a woman; it is a very special feeling which is difficult to put down in writing – it just feels good and relaxes me completely as I am then a woman, yet a compliment is always welcome as well as the treatment being a female client. Not being French and having an accent helps me with the problem of voice as I as a woman also speak with a slightly higher pitch than my normal male voice. So to sum up; when dressed I am a mature woman and enjoy life!
I’ve been wearing pantyhose, heels and a bra with a shirt that sort looked like a short dress since I was 4. I really wanted to have my own dresses too but mom would not get me one. I also wanted pantyhose, heels and bras that fit me right. I was getting used pantyhose from mom and wearing her old bras and heels.
I would look in magazines and department store catalogues, seeing all the wonderful pantyhose, stockings, garters, panties, bras, lingerie, pretty dresses and heels. I wanted them all so much and dreamed of wearing all those things.
When I got my own place at 18, I began buying and wearing all those things. I loved it so much and couldn’t get enough. I dressed everyday at hole and after a few months decided I was going to go out. It was scary but so exciting and fun. I began going to dressing parties at college and just loved it so much.
I love crossdressing. It is so exciting and a thrill and rush I can’t get from anything else.
I still waver back and forth between “I want to be female!” and “Just go with the flow.” I realized a long time ago that if I’m ever able to pass, it will take tons of effort, yet I can’t let go of the idea, and I will probably keep doing things and experimenting to get me closer to that goal. One nice thing is that things that make me feel more feminine, like shaving my legs, tend to also help me look more feminine. The idea that little by little, ever so slowly, I’m bringing myself closer to a moment when I’ll look in the mirror and see a woman looking back is still powerful for me.
On the other hand, I have also realized that when the pink fog starts rolling in, I definitely don’t need to totally transform to satisfy it every time. I also really like the idea of not working to find a pigeon hole to fit into. At the end of the day I’m doing all this to explore and enjoy who I am.
I really do understand why I like the more interesting fashion, makeup, scent and coiffure that is current (mostly) in the girls’ societal sandbox.
Not really sure why I need fake breasts…..
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