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Hi everyone,
I’m Taliyah, I’m 26 and I’m new to the community. Something I’ve struggled with is having a community, someplace where I belong. In grateful for the crossdresser heaven forums and advice. It’s been a relief. However. i still find that somehow I don’t belong. I love embracing my feminine self and I think I look and feel beautiful. My wife is very supportive, though she has her boundaries, of course.
My point, I think, is that I love dressing and expressing myself as a woman, yet I don’t want to give up my masculinity completely. I want to present as female and I want to keep all my parts. I feel like crossdressers are misunderstood to begin with, so as I try to find where I belong I still feel like that’s something that separates me from many.
I am trying to fit in with a community, yet I fear being put in a box. Any way, i hope to make a ton of friends and I’ve already learned so much from this great group of people.
Love, Taliyah
I have struggled with not fitting in my whole life. I feel very similarly. I am who I am. I am a man that loves femininity. I started researching gender dysphoria, transgender issues and biographies of transgender people. While I share similarities, I have never felt like a woman trapped in a mans body. I do however feel like I need to Express my femininity in order to be happy. I am less concerned about the cause and more interested in finding ways to Express myself as well as talk with people that have similar feelings. I did find a book, “Alice in Gendeland” a memoir from a crossdresser/psychiatrist. I found it enlightening. Not my story but again similarities and interestingly informative. I really liked your honesty and I think that is bbc why they created a trans specific site as well as this site. Makes sense to me.
Exactly. I feel less trans and more genderfluid. I want to be femme but don’t feel like I’ll ever be totally happy if I have to pick one gender or another. I just need a bit of both at various times. And, being married to a woman, we both enjoy sex the way it is so there’s that. For me it’s about finding that middle ground on the spectrum that applies to me and suits me and represents me at any given time.
Hi Taliyah and welcome!
Yeah, as if I didn’t feel outside enough, I found this site and became even more confused….just for a while. A big part of CD is figuring out who you are inside, honestly discovering the you! This site has helped me figure that out to a certain extent, and the discovery continues. For me, this is part of the excitement! Don’t try to box yourself, let yourself be free. Discover what you like and don’t like in makeup, clothes, et. al.
I’m a person that just loves expressing both sides of me. That IS normal. Blocking a part of you out (which most guys do) is not mentally healthy. I’m a biker and an all around tough guy but I am also a loving nurturing lady that cares deeply for others. Finding your Zen as a CD requires a lot of self thinking. Good luck in your journey! Smile, you’re normal! Now, just figure out what that means! 🙂
Welcome to the new member Taliyah !! I too am a very masculine normal binary male (albeit for half the year)–and I try very hard to be totally opposite the other half…………that’s MY box I have made. My wife is inside my box and world…………no one else matters. I’ve only been here for about three weeks and I’ve sensed NO ONE has EVER defined ‘box’ type descriptions—WE all are different to a degree. I believe each of us are spread out in our universe, some far out and distant, others closer together that share similar views on the subject……….For me…..I think I am further out but all of us share a common trait that doesn’t BOX us in………but helps us realize that we EACH are different yet similar and through that connection, makes us better people and more whole.
I put my comment here, because I am also a biker……and do wear a 1% ‘er patch. The only box put on me is the one I create myself……….
Enjoy the ride
Mikki
Hi Taliyah,
You are not alone!
(Makes me think of the 1997 song by Olive – it’s awesome, check it out).
It’s both confusing and just the way we are.
Confusing mainly because it confuses the heck out of people who don’t understand, and that confusion leads them to odd reactions.
However, people are becoming more accepting. It’s possible in many liberal places to just walk down the street dressed how you like without a comment or evil stare.
It’s even possible to draw appreciative comments, friendly conversation and rock star treatment, depending on who you interact with.
The message more and more these days is to be yourself.
Love Laura
Wish my wife had been supportive. Now I’m just hoping to find someone to dress up with, practice makeup, and maybe go out with.
Hope you find that special person.
Taliyah, though I’m much older than you are, I feel much the same. I love being a man, but I also love turning myself into a woman, at least on the outside. I try my best to present as nice a looking female as I can, and use padding and waist tighteners to help with the general shape I need.
I feel no need to transition, and though none of us can predict the future, I honestly could never see myself wanting to transition, my male side is just so strong, and an important part of my life, I just cannot give it up.
I agree that there is considerable misunderstanding about this, which when one sees that most of us here, don’t understand this either, its’ not surprising, really.
Most of my life I’ve found myself at odds with typical opinion, on so many things. Otherwise, on the outside, I’m typical looking WASP, but not on the inside. I said that to my wife a little while ago, here I go again!
I think what we do is beautiful. Many, most, I think of us live our lives as regular guys, then when the time is right, we morph into something more beautiful, usually, for not long enough.
Amy
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